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What! Nov. 2, 2017

What I Heard This Week November 2, 2017

Thanks to the Astros for giving us all something to think about besides Harvey…something that made us proud and have happy, heartfelt thoughts. We all needed this. GO ASTROS.


After actor Paul Newman made the 1969 auto racing movie “Winning” his wife, actress Joanne Woodward gave him a Rolex Daytona with an art deco-inspired dial that was recently sold at auction for $17.8-million. The inscription on the back of the watch in all caps said, DRIVE CAREFULLY ME.  It is the most expensive wristwatch ever auctioned, but not the most expensive timepiece. A pocket watch made by Patek Philippe in 1933 sold for $24.4-million in 2015. Time IS money.


Paul Newman – “When you see the right thing to do, you’d better do it.”


In Utah, the mother of a 13-day-old infant boy and the woman’s boyfriend have been charged with first degree murder and three counts of child abuse. The baby was found unresponsive on the floor with a fractured spine and a broken rib with bruises and abrasions that were believed to be bite marks. The baby appeared to have no health problems when born. In my opinion, certain actions in this world are non-negotiable. The punishment must fit the crime and there should be just penalty for evil actions. An “eye for an eye.” No excuses.


Three teenage boys cruised several St. Louis neighborhoods and were able to “borrow” 48-pumpkins, a gourd and then somehow stuffed all that plus themselves into one small Subaru Forester before police found and arrested the porch pirates’ aka pumpkin-nappers aka thieves. I didn’t know that a Subaru Forester was that roomy. Then the tough job of finding the owners of the pumpkins began with a “pumpkin line up”, a social media post from the police department and at last report, all but 13 had been reunited with their owners. I did see the pumpkin line up and not a single pumpkin was decorated, so I have no idea how the people knew “their” pumpkin. Poor boys.


Researchers from the State University of New York at Fredonia found that sea salt – the same stuff that we use in cooking and in the salt shaker at dinner every night – is just one more thing that helps us with our daily intake of plastic particles. Yep, plastic particles are just everywhere now and you could be ingesting as many as 660 particles a year with your salt. We’ve got to start taking better care of our Mother Earth.


Paris Hilton, the former Simple Life star is the highest-paid female DJ in the world, commanding up to $1-million for a one-night gig. Kim Kardashian was her former assistant.


Budweiser plans to release a limited-edition 1933 Repeal and Reserve Amber Lager this holiday season. The forgotten recipe dates back to pre-Prohibition days but back in 1920, it couldn’t be sold outside St. Louis due to the enforcement of Prohibition which banned the manufacturing, transporting and sale of alcoholic beverages. Just little bit of history that you can pick up and drink in 2017. It’s described as a “light, hoppy aroma and a rich caramel malt taste” with 6.1% ABV and will be packaged in vintage bottles.


Nancy Rosatti recently retired and sold Elaine’s Fashions & Accessories in LJ. We will miss her kind heart, beautiful smile and a more than gracious attitude. Thank you, Nancy, for years of making us beautiful and always having something wonderful for graduation gifts or a last-minute birthday surprise. We will miss you and wish you the very best in this new chapter of life. Congratulations to Terry & Julie Edwards, the new owners of Elaine’s Fashions. You have some very BIG Brighton’s to fill. 😊


HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Rock musician Bill Wyman is 81. The Rolling Stones. Actor Kevin Kline is 70. Rock singer-musician David Hidalgo is 63. Los Lobos. I love them! Russian President Vladimir Putin is 65. Cellist YoYo ma is 62. Civil rights activist Reverend Jesse Jackson is 76. Comedian Chevy Chase is 74. Author R.L. Stine is 74. Actress Sigourney Weaver is 68. Gospel/rhythm & blues singer CeCe Winams is 53. Rock musician C.J. Ramone is 52. The Ramones. Actor-screenwriter Matt Damon is 47. Singer-songwriter-producer Bruno Mars is 32.


Actress Nanette Fabray is 97. Actor-comedian John Cleese is 78. Actress Cassandra Peterson is 66. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Actress Sophia Loren is 83. She is coming to The Grand 1894 Opera House in April 2018. Hockey Hall of Fame Guy LaFleur is 66. TV news correspondent Deborah Roberts is 57. Journalist Barbara Walters is 88. Actor Michael Douglas is 73 and his wife, actress Catherine Zeta-Jones turned 48. Model Cheryl Tiegs is 70.


Pro Football Hall of Fame Tony Dungy is 62. His book, Quiet Strength was No.1 on New York Times Best Seller list. It’s a great book. Dungy is an evangelical Christian and at one point in his coaching career considered leaving football for the prison ministry.


“Others determine your reputation, but only you determine your integrity.” Tony Dungy


Robert Guillaume died at the age of 89.  I remember him best as Benson, the level-headed butler on the TV series Soap and then the spin-off show, Benson. He was a hoot and the only sane person on the show. I can still see him rolling his eyes. He was magnificent on Broadway, Off-Broadway and was the first black ‘Phantom,’ replacing Michael Crawford in a 1990 production of The Phantom of the Opera in Los Angeles. He earned a Grammy for voicing the role of Rafiki in Disney’s The Lion King. I could go on and on.


New Orleans musician Fats Domino died at age 89. He was big in the 50’s and 60’s when he sold more records than anyone except Elvis during that time and was one of the first people admitted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He had more than three dozen TOP 40 hits including Blueberry Hill and Ain’t That a Shame. Supposedly, Elvis once said, “Let’s face it, I can’t sing like Fats Domino can.”


A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.Fats Domino


Former architect, Robert L. McKay, who designed the first Taco Bell restaurant (the Spanish-style arched and tiled building that is still the signature look,) then was so intrigued by the fast-food concept that he closed his architectural firm and joined Taco Bell, eventually becoming president, died at 86. McKay helped American consumers understand the exotic Mexican dishes that we now eat every day…like tacos and burritos and embraced the concept of franchising. Taco Bell had around 900 restaurants when it was sold to PepsiCo in 1978 for $125-million in stock.  I wonder what that would be in “today” dollars.


A 31-year-old Galveston man died from flesh-eating bacteria he likely contracted in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. It is believed that the carpenter suffered a skin puncture from a nail while repairing homes damaged by the flooding. It is also believed that a 77-year-old Kingwood woman died in September from the same infection after falling in floodwaters and cutting her arm.


Remember Howard Johnson’s. HoJo.  How about Sambo’s Restaurant. The name became controversial but in truth, was named for owners Sam Battistone and Newell Bohnet who opened the first restaurant in 1957. Steak and Ale? They always had frozen salad plates. I loved that. How about Bob’s Big Boy. Today I saw that the company owning 24 Dairy Queen locations in Texas has filed for bankruptcy and that they are shutting them down. The list does not have West Columbia on it. Whew. I would miss my cherry and banana Blizzard on the way to Austin.


Creepy Hollow Haunted House, is off 288 in Rosharon. Now, I’m not a haunted house sort of person. I won’t even watch CSI by myself. What I do appreciate is an organization that gives money back to the community and Creepy Hollow does just that. Just ask the LJ Lions Club. For those with weak bladders, go prepared. When my son worked there, I was certainly NOT prepared as I waited in the parking lot to pick him up. The website says: Do not enter if you suffer from asthma, heart conditions, prone to seizures, heart conditions, physical ailments, respiratory or any type of medical problem or are pregnant or suffer any form of mental disease including claustrophobia. No refunds for the wimpy or those that don’t follow the rules. There is a good reason that they post this. It’s still open this week-end and there is a $5.00-off coupon on their website for up to 4-people.


Typeractivity: the overuse of personal devices with special emphasis on texting. My daughter’s typeractivity is very distracting when I am trying to talk to her.


Target is listening to their customers saying that want they more emphasis on Thanksgiving and just an ease-in to Christmas promotions. It is hard to walk into stores in August and see Christmas trees. Thank you, Target. Another BIG thing for Target will happen on November 5th when they unveil Hearth & Hand with Magnolia, a collection of Joanna Gaines’s signature designs with modern, classic, industrial and vintage touches…“modern farmhouse style.” The merchandise is supposed to be arranged like a little shop inside Target. I don’t know about you but I loved visiting Magnolia in Waco and this looks like pretty good stuff.


I love you like biscuits and gravy” – unknown origin but understood by people all over Texas.


I was reading a newspaper when out of the corner of my eyes I flashed over an ad…Female Replacement SALE…for just the smallest moment I thought to myself, “What the heck?!?! Female Replacement Sale?!?!” My brain went in to overtime.  “I thought it was harder than that to replace a female…who would be having the sale…why aren’t we running that ad in The Source?” Yep, it was an ad for cows and I’m still blond. You guys would be so bored without me.


Former Vice-President Al Gore visited Rice University last week speaking on climate change and how the warming of the oceans will lead to more storms like Hurricane Harvey in our future. He said, “We can’t treat the world like an open sewer.” “Every day we’re dumping 110 million tons of CO2 in the sky and it traps heat.” We all know that when Gulf water is hot, a hurricane is more likely. My son said it was a great talk.


A new study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, states that within the next three decades, floods that used to strike the NYC area only once every 500 years could occur every five years. The primary blame for the predicted change is sea-level rise caused by global warming. Hmmm. Is anyone listening?


November 4th is the new full moon. Prepare accordingly.


– Lisa

Girl Boy Scouts

Much Ado About Nothing November 2, 2017

Jean Ciampi - Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing by Jan Ciampi

Men in dresses who aren’t even Scottish. Women in the men’s bathroom and not because the line is too long next door in the girl’s room. Boys want to be girls who want to be boys, and it all just gets so confusing. Now Boy Scouts are girl scouts but not Girl Scouts. Just girls being scouts ala Boys, although boys can’t be Girl Scouts so how is that fair? Because it has to be fair. And everyone needs a trophy.

Starting next year, Boy Scouts of America are allowing girls to join their ranks. Because how else can you earn your merit badge for Utter Absurdity? What exactly is wrong with girls being Girl Scouts and boys being Boy Scouts? Wouldn’t it just be easier to let the boys in on the cookie sales thing and let the girls do… I don’t even know what it is that Girl Scouts can’t do that the boys do, except pee against the trees when they go camping.

Honestly, I don’t think everyone has thought through this whole thing or considered the doors that will be blown open that can’t be closed again. How long will it be before a Siamese cat wins the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show because Fluffy the Persian identifies as a German shepherd. Will Lassie and Toto get cast as the leads in the Broadway musical “Cats”? And will crazy cat ladies be obligated to have dogs, too, on the basis of canine equality?

So if you ask me – and quite frankly, no one does – girls in Girl Scouts and boys in Boy Scouts or stop all the silliness already, lump them all together and call them “Scouts.” Whoever shows up, pays their dues, and builds a soapbox derby car is in.

Because, guess what!? Both sides are already charged to “Be Prepared” and “Do a Good Turn Daily.” Who knew, but both sides of the Scout debate have the same motto and slogan. We should probably now realize that what they’ve both been saying since the 1940’s is “Be prepared to do a good turn daily, because the world is going to get crazy and people will be weird, but someone still has to step up and sell cookies, salute the flag, deliver mulch, and help old ladies across the street. Scouts, it’s on you.

What! Oct. 26, 2017

What I Heard This Week October 26, 2017

What I Heard This Week - Logo

By Lisa Baker • 10-26-17


What the heck is pupper necking? Well, according to UrbanDictionary, it is, “the act of slowing down traffic to look at a cute dog.” So, when my daughter and I were at the SPCA this week, legally adopting the two baby kittens that we rescued from the back of my office during Harvey, I found myself pupper necking (and kitty necking) because there are some pretty cute babies that are in great need of being adopted. 141 Canna Lane LJ. You don’t have to bring them home to provide for them. Just tell them the donation is because you are a pupper necker.


At a Welsh food bank, someone donated a can of Heinz kidney soup (a discontinued flavor) that was 46-years old. FORTY-SIX-YEARS-OLD.


Remember the Borden Dairy Company and Elsie the Cow? She was a cartoon logo developed as a mascot in 1936 to symbolize the “perfect dairy product.”  What many may not know is that Elsie had a fictional cartoon mate, Elmer the Bull who was created in 1940 and used for Borden’s (then chemical-division) as the mascot for Elmer’s Glue-All. This is weird to me since I thought glue was made from boiling connective tissue of dead animals (like cows?!?) But I looked it up and in years gone by glue was made from milk…so that’s the real story. There’s more. If you add vinegar to milk and heat, the milk will curdle and form lumps. ahhh – this is how you get the famous curds and whey from Little Miss Muffet. Take this mixture, strain to separate the curds from the whey, add baking soda to the curds and stir. Now you have casein or white glue. More completely useless information.


Storms make trees take deeper roots. – Dolly Parton


The Berkshire Museum in Pittsfield, Massachusetts plans for Sotheby’s to have a public auction of 40 works of art, including two that Norman Rockwell gave as gifts to the museum when he lived nearby. Norman Rockwell died in 1978. Thomas, Jarvis and Peter Rockwell are part of a group who are going to court to halt these plans. Massachusetts law requires the museum to maintain any gifts it receives for the people of the county and the general public.  Seems more than fair. The problem is that “the arts” don’t always get the funding that they need and museums suffer, requiring them to make it work.


If you live anywhere in Texas you know about Nutcracker Market. This year you can shop November 9-12th. It was started in 1981, to raise needed funds for Houston Ballet Foundation, its Academy and scholarship programs. Last year, over 105,000 shoppers spent over 19.5 million at more than 280 national and international booths. If you want that same experience, but closer to home, the 35th Annual Mums & Mistletoe Market will be here November 17th from 9am-6pm. Shop with 50-vendors and don’t forget the cheese soup at their Market Café.


No one is perfect – that’s why pencils have erasers. – unknown


A young unidentified child, likely 3-5 years of age, was found washed up or placed on a little stretch of beach in Galveston last week. He hadn’t been dead very long. NO ONE HAS REPORTED A MISSING CHILD. Anyone with information please call 409-765-3776 or Crime Stoppers at 409-763-TIPS, Galveston Police Department at (409) 765-3702, FBI at (409) 935-7327 or Texas EquuSearch at (281) 309-9500.


The Guinness World Record for longest dog tongue belongs to Mochi. He is an 8-year old St. Bernard from South Dakota with a tongue length of 7.31-inches. I dare anyone to say that I don’t save the best information for this column.


HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Musician Bob Weir is 70. Founding member of The Grateful Dead. Singer John Mayer is 40. Now touring with musician Bob Weir (see above in case you forgot what you just read) in a band called Dead & Company. Actress Suzanne Somers is 71. Actor Tim Robbins is 59. Actress Margot Kidder is 69. Astronaut Mae Jemison is 61. Country singer Alan Jackson is 59. Animator Mike Judge is 55.  King of the Hill, Beavis and Butt-Head. Reggae singer Ziggy Marley is 49. Rapper Eminem is 45. Years ago, when I first heard someone say his name, I thought it was M&M like the candy. What can I say…I’m old. College and Pro Football Hall of Fame Mike Ditka is 78. Jazz musician Wynton Marsalis is 56. His very talented brother, Delfeayo Marsalis is coming to The Clarion on November 17th.

Ex-actress Reverend Mother Dolores Hart is 79. As a young Hollywood starlet in the 60s, Dolores Hart had it all. She was considered the next Grace Kelly for beauty and acting talent, had a seven-figure studio contract, roles opposite Anthony Quinn, Robert Wagner, Montgomery Clift and was the envy of girls everywhere for giving Elvis Presley his first on-screen kiss. She was also the star of MGM’s highest grossing film of 1962, Where the Boys Are. Then one day she walked away from it all and became a nun.

Rapper Snoop Dogg is 46. Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is 78. Country singer Natalie Maines is 43. The Dixie Chicks. Singer Usher is 39. Director Philip Kaufman is 81. The Right Stuff. Singer Dwight Yoakam is 61. Parodist Weird Al Yankovic is 58. TV’s Judge Judy Sheindlin is 75. Black Panthers co-founder Bobby Seale is 81. Actor Christopher Lloyd is 79. Emmett “Doc” Brown in Back to the Future. Actress Catherine Deneuve is 74. Actor Jeff Goldblum is 65. Christian singer TobyMac is 53. Rock musician Zac Hanson is 32. Hanson Brothers.


Election Day – November 7, 2017: 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

What’cha handing out for Halloween this year? In the past, I’ve given pencils, toothbrushes, individual packages of pretzels AND in a weak moment, candy. Here are some ideas if you are thinking outside the candy box. Take a permanent marker and draw a jack-o-lantern face on the outside of a clementine. They’re so cute, easy to peel and everyone loves a clementine.  Fruit leather strips, individual packages of crackers, chips, pistachios or popcorn are also great ideas. Halloween themed water bottles, spider rings, stickers, or glow-sticks are all available at the dollar store – they have a great selection of affordable items. So, don’t feel bad about a no candy rule. The parents will appreciate it. Be sure to come by The Source Weekly office on Halloween and have your picture made in costume for the paper and get a treat.


Broken crayons still color…


Get your Halloween picture turned in for our Pumpkin Coloring Contest. You could win a gift card.


The Teal Pumpkin Project was one clever mom figuring out a way for her son with severe food allergies, to participate in trick-or-treating a few years back. Instead of handing out sweet treats, she has a treat bucket full of non-food goodies to hand out. To alert other families in her Tennessee neighborhood that it was a safe place for kids with allergies to stop, she painted one of the front porch pumpkins teal – the color of allergy awareness. Her efforts came to the attention of Food Allergy Research & Education who took the project national in 2014. There is an interactive map where you can register, therefore sharing locations of participants taking part in the Teal Pumpkin Project. Awareness partners now include CVS, Michaels and Oriental Trading.


Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his baseball cap to keep cool and changed it every two innings.


Brian’s BBQ – The Fill Station, is now open in Downtown Lake Jackson. We’re so proud of you. I say this as I sit at my desk with a little mustard on my chin from my smoked Turkey Sandwich that Debra picked up from there this morning. SOOOO good. Welcome to Lake Jackson. We are so excited to have you guys right down the street.


Some guys get a new corvette when they turn 60.  VERY proud, new Rocket’s owner, Tilman Fertitta, says, “I will not make any decision based on what I paid for the team. If I had to make a decision based on that, I shouldn’t have bought the team.” “I want people to talk about the Houston Rockets the way they talk about the Los Angeles Lakers or the Boston Celtics.” “We’re going to make good decisions and we’re going to do whatever it takes to win.” “Anybody can build a boardwalk. Anybody can build an aquarium, anybody can build tall buildings. Not many can own a team in their hometown.” Sounds like we may have a winner.


Two shareholders of Blue Bell Creameries have filed suit against the company, alleging that mismanagement by executives and board of directors led to a Listeria outbreak two years ago that damaged the company’s finances and brand. Some analysts estimate that the company’s sales fell by hundreds of millions of dollars as a result. Since the outbreak, Blue Bell has slipped to the fourth best-selling brand, now behind Breyer’s, Ben & Jerry’s and Haagen-Dazs.


Coach Chris Foerster, the Miami Dolphins’ offensive line coach has resigned rather than be fired after a 56-second video was released on social media showing him using a twenty-dollar bill to snort a white powdery substance off his desk right before he leaves for a team meeting. Sad behavior but if you watch the video, he says (to someone) that he “thinks of them” as he snorts, “Hey, babe, miss you…” then the rest of what he says is not repeatable in a family newspaper even in 2017. That part is even sadder. I am embarrassed for him and especially for his family. The video was originally released by a model who lives in Las Vegas. Just another example of stupid behavior and someone saying, “Gee, I just never really thought that I would get caught.”


More than 6,600 inmates serving prison time in Texas donated almost $54,000 from their commissary funds to the American Red Cross to be used for storm relief from Harvey. Nice.


A hand-written letter on embossed Titanic stationery that was written by one of the Titanic’s passengers a day before the ocean line sank, has sold at auction in England for $166,000. It was said that the letter was “the most important Titanic letter we have ever auctioned” because of its content, historical context and rarity. It was found in the pocket notebook of the gentleman that wrote it, when his body was recovered. His wife survived the disaster. One line in the note was, “If all goes well we will arrive in New York Wednesday am.”


A mentally ill Florida man shot and killed his mother’s friend because he believed the man was flirting with his imaginary girlfriend. When officers arrived, the suspect shot at the deputies and began walking towards a school located just a few hundred feet away, which was immediately placed on lockdown. Later the suspect entered his own home and killed himself. He was found to have an AR-15 rifle and a .22 caliber rifle in his possession. Hmmm.


According to Rawlings Sporting Goods Company, the average lifespan of a baseball in Major League play is six pitches. They don’t wear out…that takes into account the foul balls that are lost to fans, the fact that every home run ball is lost, and every time a ball gets scuffed the umpire sets it aside for the next day’s batting practice. There are 144 baseballs opened and ready for each game, and an additional 6 dozen in reserve. GO ASTROS!!


– Lisa

Just My Luck

Much Ado About Nothing October 19, 2017

Jean Ciampi - Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing by Jan Ciampi

I have a friend who is a force for all goodness, and, in return, constantly receives back happiness and light from the Universe. I, however, must be sending out the cosmic equivalent of chain letters, head lice, and invitations to join pyramid marketing schemes, because I seem to suck in dumb bad luck with the magnetic force of an unmeasurable black hole. Why else would I end up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting in Home Depot?

Honestly, I walked into the paint department with the intention of picking out a shade of currently fashionable gray to paint my soon-to-be textured brand new sheetrock. I walked out stained, soggy and emotionally scarred. It took maybe 12 minutes.

It starts when the ding-a-ling paint counter girl puts a blop of wet paint on the lid of the miniature sample can of the first color I’d picked out. Except she didn’t dry it or tell me it was wet, and I immediately get paint all over my hand. Then, she’s giving me a paper towel and sloshes the open container of the second color onto the front of my black t-shirt. In the ensuing melee, I smear the third color up my other arm. It’s like I’ve been dropped into a really bad Three Stooges movie.

As she’s trying to salvage the counter and floor, I’m in the ladies room trying to replicate the deep cleaning action of a Maytag front loader to save my shirt. Of course, some mom walks in with her baby while I’m half naked in front of the hand dryer trying to blow dry to a point of wear-ability and she’s snickering at me. Okay, from a woman who has probably been burped up on no fewer than six times that day, I can probably take that.

So I couldn’t get all the paint out. I couldn’t get the shirt dry. I couldn’t remember where my dignity had gone. I couldn’t help but think I was developing an allergic rash from the hardware store bathroom hand soap. And I couldn’t stop wondering what exactly I’d done to make Karma hate me so intensely.

Of course, my eternally sunny friend reminded me that, in the end, I did get 10% off my paint samples to make up for the mess. Honestly, I think I might hate her.

What! Oct. 19, 2017

What I Heard This Week October 19, 2017

What I Heard This Week - Logo

By Lisa Baker • 10-19-17


In Dallas, a police helicopter discovered more than 3,000 marijuana plants growing in a remote area. No suspects were found but Dallas police Major Max Geron urged anyone who might be missing their marijuana to be sure to “call us.” Oops.


The Dow just hit 23,000. That’s a huge milestone. It was just August 2, that it hit 22,000. Where’s all the hoopla?


Brian’s BBQ will have a new downtown Lake Jackson location called The Fill Station. IT WILL BE OPEN SOON!  I promise. I know this for sure because I drive by every other day and yell, “I’m waiting!” They are now yelling back. Oh, and did I tell you that they are going to serve whiskey and there is a huge picture of John Wayne on the side of the building. Finally, someone that truly understands Texas and what we really want. John Wayne, Whiskey and BBQ. Heavy sigh. See you in line.


Coach Inc. brand is famous for is beautiful leather purses and had recently purchased Kate Spade and shoemaker Stuart Weitzman. They have now announced that they will rebrand and change their name (which seems to be a trendy thing to do right now) to Tapestry, Inc. Hmmm. I wonder what name Harvey Weinstein will pick for his makeover?  I can think of a few names. That’s all I’m going to say.


Hurry. The Bellamy Brothers are entertaining on the last night of the fair, Saturday October 21st. Also, Nooney & The Zydeco Floaters. bcfa.org


In a place called Dumpty Doo (Australia’s Northern Territory) scientists are beginning an experiment to try and save the banana. Yes, the standard Cavendish Banana. The most popular fruit in the world. Baby’s first food. The fruit that is sweeter and better to cook with when it’s black, splotchy and overripe.  Scientists are planting thousands of small banana plants that have been modified with genes from the musa acuminata banana variety hoping to escape the effects of fusarium wilt aka Panama Disease Tropical Race 4 or TR4. Fungicides and fumigants are useless against it. Once TR4 hits a banana farm, the only recourse is to eradicate all the plants and start over. If this doesn’t work, you may not be able to find this delicious fruit readily available in our grocery stores, in a few years.


JJ Watt suffered a tibial plateau fracture of his left leg, a break at the top of the shinbone within the knee joint. That hurts me just to type it.


The new River Oaks District shopping center on Westheimer has a 5-ft. tall security robot named ROD2 (a play on the River Oaks District and the famous Star Wars droid, R2D2.) Its eye-like cameras continuously compile information on surroundings, reading license plates, recognizing familiar faces and monitoring for unusual or suspicious activity, all while greeting you with a “good morning” or “good afternoon.” FYI. If you see its normally blue lights turn red, then you have hung around too long taking your selfie and ROD2 is mad. Be polite and move on.


A family cruise turned into a parent’s worst nightmare when an 8-year old child got on her tippy-toes for a better look over the rail (they were thinking that the railing was the same height and she couldn’t see over) and fell to her death two stories below.


An old canoe surfaced in Florida after Hurricane Irma. Using a technique known as radiocarbon dating, archaeologists determined that it could date back to the 1600’s. It could be that the wood is older than the canoe. Officials now begin a preservation process to make sure the canoe doesn’t deteriorate before it is relocated to a museum.


HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Singer Jackson Browne is 69. Actor Scott Bakula is 63. Rock singer Sean Lennon is 42. Singer Jerry Lee Lewis is 82. TV personality Bryant Gumbel is 69. Country singer Gene Watson is 74. Farewell Party. Singer Daryl Hall is 71. Former auto executive Lee Iacocca is 93. Actress-director Penny Marshall is 74. Singer-musician Richard Carpenter is 71. I remember hanging at the skating rink every Friday and Saturday night listening to The Carpenter’s sing…Rainy Days and Mondays, Top of the World, We’ve Only Just Begun, They Long to Be Close to You.

Singer Tito Jackson is 64. Singer-musician Sammy Hagar is 70. Van Halen.  Singer Marie Osmond is 58. Actress Kelly Preston is 55. Olympic silver medal figure skater Nancy Kerrigan is 48. Pro Football Hall of Fame Jerry Rice. Considered by some to be the greatest wide receiver in NFL history.

Britain’s Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson is 58. Chef Emeril Lagasse is 58. Broadcast journalist Chris Wallace is 70. Actor Hugh Jackman is 49. Actor Kirk Cameron is 47. Growing Pains. Actress Melinda Dillon is 78. She was the mother in A Christmas Story in 1983. Yikes, has it been that long? Singer-musician Paul Simon is 76. I was in Houston at a Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers concert (Bluegrass) and Paul Simon came out on stage and sang a bit (it so happens that he is married to Edie Brickell who was touring with the band.) The crowd went wild and so did I.


Deaths: Remember Elizabeth Baur, who helped Raymond Burr bring the bad guys to justice as Officer Fran Belding on the long-running NBC crime drama Ironside?  She died at age 69.

There was a best-selling business management book, “The One-Minute Manager,” by Spencer Johnson (who died recently at age 78 of pancreatic cancer.) His idea was that businesspeople needed to connect with their co-workers by spending a full minute giving sincere praise or if needed, a reprimand. It had a money-back guarantee. Business schools taught it and businesses everywhere handed the book out like candy. Other books followed. “The One-Minute Father”“The One-Minute Mother” and “One-Minute for Myself.” The idea in these books was that there should be one-minute in the day is where you stop and look at what you’re really thinking and what you’re really doinga quiet time that you can listen to your own inner wisdom. His No.1 best seller was “Who Moved My Cheese?” which had main “mice” characters named Sniff & Scurry and two people, Hem & Haw. The four of them lived happily in a maze eating cheese until one day the cheese disappeared. Sniff & Scurry scampered away to find new cheese while Hem and Haw whined and whined about their fate and their terrible hunger. How do you adapt to changing circumstances?  Johnson was once a physician turned children’s book author. His decency and morals will be missed.


The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese.” – Spencer Johnson


I haven’t said thank you enough to the City of Lake Jackson for everything that they did during Harvey. Those guys worked and they worked and they worked. I tried to do my part with breakfast for the pump guys or meals for different working locations during the flooding (anything besides pizza in a box – bless their hearts) but I know it wasn’t enough. Special thanks to Eddie Herrera (hope I got your name right) who was checking a drain valve in my alley, way after midnight one night and had been working since early that morning. It was so appreciated.


The Bible is available in nearly 2,500 languages including Klingon, Vulcan and Romulan, three languages created for the Star Trek series.  Hmmm.


Elton John will be playing his piano at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas for the last time on May 19, 2018.


The landmark Sears store in Houston Midtown will close after this last holiday season. The liquidation sale will start on November 10th. The store opened in 1939 as a modern air-conditioned shopping center where the floors were connected by escalators. There was a muralist that painted walls with scenes from Texas history and a large painting of Sam Houston. Corrugated metal coverings were added in the 1960s, an effort to modernize the building. I can only hope that whoever owns this building now, understands that this art-deco needs to be saved.


Stephen King’s IT is back after 27 years and scaring another generation of moviegoers. Opening weekend IT took in an estimated $117.2 million, so IT officially had the third-largest opening weekend of 2017. IT also earned 87% on Rotten Tomatoes and a B-plus CinemaScore. You wonder what this does to the future of Sweet Potatoe and clowns like him who are loved and adored equally by kids and adults.


The Ronald McDonald House Houston on Holcombe is increasing its campus by 40 percent…adding 20 bedrooms to the 50-bedroom campus. This facility provides accommodations for out-of-town families of seriously ill children being treated in the Texas Medical Center and must turn away 12-15 families each day.


The Harlem Globetrotters are coming January 27th.  If you have little kids, they need to see these guys. When I was in high school, I would buy tickets to take my date but tell him that my dad gave me the tickets. Because I love the Harlem Globetrotters. It’s always a fun time.


If the video title and description is fact, then I watched a video of a lady (I use that word loosely) at a convenience store, using a plant watering bucket to top off the gas tank on a rental car. The story stated that she was doing it before taking the rental car back, so that the gas tank appeared full. Hmmm.


If you’ve never been to Frankel’s Costume Shop in Houston, you better hurry because the 40,000-sq-ft building with its 57,000 rental costumes, will be closing soon. The land that the building sits on has been sold. Frankel’s is not just a Halloween shop – theatre and professional entertainers all have a special place there. If you couldn’t find it anywhere else, you could find it at Frankel’s. They have expanded their hours to allow them to sell their massive inventory in a dignified fashion and not garage sale style. My son was a magician so I remember some long hot hours spent in the magic section. They will be missed by many.


Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. He always wrote backward so that one could only read his writing with a mirror. Heck, I write notes to myself that I can’t figure out what I said the next day. Perhaps I should be using a mirror. Nah. I just need to write better.


It’s Daylight “Saving” Time not Daylight Savings Time. Benjamin Franklin did not originate the idea of moving clocks forward. His suggestion was that Parisians wake up at dawn, then they could save the modern-day equivalent of $200-million plus by using sunshine instead of candles. So, Franklin simply proposed a change in sleep schedules, not a time change. The American farmers were not happy with the change in 1918. They had to wait an extra hour for dew on hay to dry, hired hands worked less hours and the cows were not ready to be milked an hour earlier to meet shipping schedules. Hawaii and Arizona, except for the state’s Navajo Nation, do not observe daylight saving time and the US territories of American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and the Northern Mariana Islands. Some Amish communities also choose not to participate in daylight saving time. We change on November 5th.


Research at Mayo Clinic Cancer Center has shown that a three-month course of chemotherapy was almost as effective as six months of chemotherapy treatment for stage 3 colon cancer treatment. The shorter schedule also resulted in fewer side effects such as nerve damage because unlike hair loss and diarrhea, nerve damage doesn’t stop when the chemo ends.


Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his baseball cap to keep cool and changed it every two innings.


According to RawlingsQuoting Boutwell, McPhee says the average lifespan of a baseball in Major League play is six pitches. “Not that it wears out. But every foul ball is lost to the fans. Every homer is lost. Every time a ball gets scuffed, the umpire banishes it down to tomorrow’s batting practice.”

Additional tidbit:
There are 144 baseballs opened and ready for each game, and an additional 6 dozen in reserve.


– Lisa

Jean Ciampi for Commissioner Major League Baseball

Much Ado About Nothing October 12, 2017

Jean Ciampi - Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing by Jan Ciampi

I love baseball, from t-ball to Little League to college ball to the pros. Of course, with the Houston Astros in the post-season play-offs, lots of people are loving baseball. But I even love baseball when the Astros can’t buy a win against the Iowa School for the Blind’s practice team. It is only as a result of this deep abiding love that I point out that there are some glaring, fundamental problems going on in the sport, problems I will straighten out when I become the next Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

Okay, blah blah that there’s not an opening right now, but I fully expect to get the call to the bullpen to take over when word of my sweeping reforms and improvements gets out.

First order of business will be making the pitchers in the American League bat. No more of this silly designated hitter ho-haw. There is no reason why the pitcher can’t step up to the plate and hack away like the rest of the team. If you don’t want to be embarrassed that you can’t hit, take lessons or look for another job. This is, after all, BASEball where the objective is to run the bases. It’s not PITCHball. I’m sorry, Carlos Beltran, it’s not that we don’t love you, Sweetie. Remember, you’ve got a fine career ahead of you in coaching

Next up to bat will be a dress code. I’m not going to nit-pick the small things like whether the pants are worn down to the cleats or pulled up to the knees, but I think it’s important the players look professional on the field at all times. That means no more of that long hair everywhere. Cameron Maybin, this means you. You’re a great addition to the team, and we’d like to keep you. But there’s only a spot there for you because we got rid of Colby Rasmus this year, most likely because he wouldn’t get a good clarifying shampoo and a haircut. As commissioner, I say get a cut or get cut! If they aren’t going to let girls play, then the boys who do play can’t look like girls.

Now, if you need me, I’ll be here with my peanuts and cold beer waiting for the next first pitch and my call up to top of the big leagues! Let’s play ball!

What! Oct. 12, 2017

What I Heard This Week October 12, 2017

What I Heard This Week - Logo

By Lisa Baker • 10-12-17


Halloween is a huge business. US shoppers are expected to spend $3.4-billion on costumes this year. Kmart corporation has been sued by a company seeking unspecified damages for unfair competition and copyright infringement because Kmart’s full-body banana costume, “has the same shape as their Banana Design, the ends of the banana are placed similarly, the vertical lines running down the middle of the banana are placed similarly, the one-piece costume is worn on the body the same way as the Banana Design, and the cut out holes are similar…this company has suffered significant financial harm and irreparable harm to its reputation as a result of Kmart’s conduct.” Hmmm. Giggle. In other words, it looks like a banana.


The Boy Scouts of America’s board of directors has unanimously agreed to welcome GIRLS into the Cub Scout program and to forge a path for older girls to pursue and earn the highest rank of Eagle Scout. WooHoo! My daughter always felt like she was a scout because she was there every Monday evening for meetings with me and her brother. She even went on camping trips. I’m not saying that it won’t be complicated, because it will be, but it will be a great thing for families.


Can a picture taken by a monkey be copyrighted?  Back in 2011, Naruto, an anonymous macaque monkey in Indonesia, found a photographer’s camera and snapped a monkey selfie. The photo has been the subject of a very long copyright battle. Recently, PETA, (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) announced a settlement with the photographer, ending the lawsuit that they filed on Naruto’s behalf. The picture has become a personal brand for the photographer who sells signed copies of the print. As of July 2017, he will be donating 10% of the purchase price towards a monkey conservation project in Sulawesi. What about those pictures that the elephants paint at the zoo while holding the paintbrush in their trunks? Our world…sigh. See picture on page 4 of this paper. He’s cute.


Beneath the streets of London, there is what has been named the WhiteChapel Fatberg…a rock-solid collection of fat, disposable wipes, diapers, condoms and tampons and occupying 1/6 of a mile of sewer. It weighs as much as 11 of the city’s double-decker buses – more than 140 tons. It is 10-times the size of a similar mass found beneath the sewer in South London in 2013. They plan to preserve a piece of the blob for the Museum of London. I was not surprised to hear that New York, Hawaii, Alaska, Wisconsin and California are struggling with the same problems.


Scientists have created the world’s first mutant ants. Researchers at Rockefeller University modified a gene essential for detecting the pheromones (chemicals that impact behavior) that ants use to communicate. Basically, it effects the ants’ social behavior and their ability to survive in a colony. You know, like a teenager when you take away their cell phones, then they can’t communicate and refuse to survive in your colony, I mean, household.


Workers at a mine in Brazil have discovered an enormous emerald, weighing in at about 600 pounds and standing more than four feet tall.


There is now an on-demand dog-walking service through an app called Wag. Dog-owners can schedule a 20, 30 or 60-minute walk through the app and can track the walk on their phones. Sigh. Reminds me of George Jetson walking the dog on what looked like a treadmill. This service is now available in Houston, Los Angeles and New York.


Every morning when I wake up I say, I’ll never be as young as I am today. Today is the youngest day of the rest of my life. Get up and do something fun.”-  Rochelle Ford, a 78-year-old Metal Sculptor.


My daughter’s friend gave her a very pretty box of chewy candy that is rose flavored (Rose Chews.) A gummy candy that sticks in your teeth and I said “ick” when she showed me. But, then I tried one. They’re pretty delicious in a weird sort of way, but I’ve never been a candy or cookie person so my opinion is not real reliable. In doing my research this week, I happened to come upon a gummy candy that I know I will like (at least it reads well.) It’s a Moscow Mule gourmet cocktail gummy candy and it said that you can buy it at Target. Lime, mint and ginger with no hangover. Sounds like a party I want to have. I know it will beat pumpkin pie spice anything. I’m on my way to Target.


“At a McDonald’s about 50 miles from Louisville, Kentucky, a woman waiting in a drive-thru line decided to pay for the order of a man with four children in a van behind her. She said to tell him, “Happy Father’s Day,” then she drove off.  The man didn’t just take the free meals…he paid for the two cars behind him and all that goodness continued “snowballing” for a total of 167 drivers “paying it forward” by closing time. In a row. There is a lot of good in this world. Be a part of it.


Southwest Airlines started flying passengers on its Boeing 737 Max 8…more fuel efficient (burns 14% less fuel than the Boeing 737-800), can fly longer distances for international service, produces fewer greenhouse gas emissions and is quieter. In addition, they will have the widest economy seat in the 737 market, and more personal space.


Cell phones and the internet do make everything so much better but I find myself missing a time when we didn’t have e-mail. I miss going to the mailbox and getting a letter from someone …anyone. Last night I had 14-pieces of junk mail. Nothing else. Now, this could be because I only go to the mailbox on special occasions, like the 4th of July or an eclipse – except of course, during the holiday season because I don’t want to miss that one party that I get an invitation to 😊.  Yes, I am known for sending “real” antiquated cards with “real” antiquated messages and yes, it takes a little longer but my friend, you’re worth it. Send someone a real card today. I just sent three.


Harvey could end up costing the government about $11-billion in insurance payouts.


The US Environmental Protection Agency has confirmed that Hurricane Harvey caused dioxin, one of the most potent human carcinogens to leak from the San Jacinto Waste Pits (used for decades to store waste from a paper mill), and now posing a threat to fish and public health. Concentrations were 2,000 times higher than the level at which the EPA requires cleanup. After decades of being forgotten, it sounds like environmentalists and locals around Pasadena are intent on seeing the waste pits removed entirely while some officials would like to see them just pile more rocks on top of the temporary cap.


Patty, a friendly, well-liked, 31-year-old Andean bear at The Houston Zoo, has died from an aggressive form of cancer.


I said, “Somebody should do something about that.” Then I realized I am somebody.” – Lily Tomlin


I’m here to remind you again to be careful when buying a used car that may have flood damage. The first and easiest way to start, is to pull out the seatbelt as far as it will go and inspect for moisture, mildew or grime.


Jackie Evancho is coming to The Clarion at Brazosport College, on November 3. She was the little opera singer from Season 5 of America’s Got Talent. Now, at 17, you should hear her sing “Think of Me” from Phantom of the Opera. I’m going.


HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Author Anne Rice is 76. Actress Susan Sarandon is 71. Actor Liv Schreiber is 50. Actress-singer Julie Andrews is 82. Actor Randy Quaid is 67. British Prime Minister Theresa May is 61. Astrophysicist-author Neil deGrasse Tyson is 59. Actress Kate Winslet is 42. Singer-musician Steve Miller is 74. Fly like an Eagle. Take the Money and Run. The Joker. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Football Hall of Fame “Mean” Joe Greene is 71. He is considered one of the greatest defensive linemen to play in the NFL because of his leadership, fierce competitiveness and intimidating style of play for which he earned his nickname.


I’d rather wear out than rust out!” Denton Cooley, MD


Jack O’Neill of the O’Neill surf brand, died at the age of 94. Sixty years ago, he introduced a prototype of a wetsuit and opened one of the world’s first surf shops. This was a time when guys used wool jerseys, bonfires, liquor, and were buying clothing from Goodwill, spraying it with Thompson’s Water Seal in order to brave the cold surfing waters. He was also the first to fly hot air balloons recreationally (he would drop into surf contests in his bright yellow hot air balloon) and he invented the sandsailer, a sailboat on wheels that skirts along the sand. He was one of the first to blow foam for surfboards instead of using balsa wood. His pirate-like black eye-patch was the result of a surfing accident and became his trademark.


Scientists have discovered 91 volcanoes more than a mile below the surface of the ice in West Antarctica. I’m not sure what that means.


Harvey will likely be disastrous for oyster, shrimp and rice crops. Some farmers towards Wharton lost entire crops, hundreds of acres.


Hurricane Harvey set a rainfall record of 64.58 inches that fell over Nederland in Jefferson County near Beaumont with seven other sites recording rainfall in excess of 51 inches. In this new world of trying to find someone to blame for the flooding, especially after we humans have concreted everything, I would say that no amount of planning or any drainage system could have saved us from Harvey.


Shop your local farmers markets because it gives us the opportunity to nourish our bodies while supporting our community.


According to the Texas state climatologist, climate change means engineers must change how they design dams and other failsafe structures to withstand ferocious storms that are increasing in frequency and unleashing more rain than they did decades ago. An increase in sea surface temperatures of 1.5 degrees Celsius can result in a 10% increase in the amount of rain a storm produces.


After 14-years, Kay Paez retired from The Source Weekly to move with her husband J.D. to Tennessee, and take care of her parents. Up until the night before, when I saw the moving truck in her driveway, we all believed our friend would change her mind and stay, but she didn’t. Duty calls. When we hire someone at our office, we look more at whether they will fit into our office family than anything else. Kay was the mother of our office. We will miss her. Not just because she knew the office from top to bottom but her sass…or was that attitude…I get them mixed up. Kay, enjoy your new chapter of life and know that we think about our friend often. Not just when we need something.


When you get an opportunity, come by The Source Weekly and meet Pam Campbell, newest addition to our office family and our classifieds department. The road to success is always under construction.


– Lisa

Bless Your Heart

Much Ado About Nothing October 5, 2017

Jean Ciampi - Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing by Jan Ciampi

It’s only my opinion, but the world seems to be just one bad hair day away from a complete meltdown. Mix together the pack of rabid hurricanes, earthquakes in Mexico, fires in the Northwest, volcanos in Bali with stupid, senseless shootings and bickering over religion (which includes football because that kind of is a religion) and we’re a hot mess. Maybe if we all agree to quit saying, “It could be worse,” then the universe would quit saying “Hold my beer.” It’s a small step, but it could be a start.

Besides, telling someone it could be worse is really just another way of saying “stop your belly aching.” Not that this isn’t a valid directive. In the Whiner Olympics, we’ve got real gold medal promise in the individual and team events. But, too, it is a bit insensitive and not very nice to invalidate whatever challenges someone is facing. Since we’re a society of no one having their feelings hurt, let’s not say that anymore.

Try saying “Bless your heart” instead. A solid southern principle which is basically the same idea, but it sounds better. And nobody can add hurt feelings to their mound of problems if you’ve blessed their heart.

To be honest, suffering is actually not a competitive sport despite how a lot of people seem to approach it. Yes, there are people who are worse off and there are those in much better shape. It’s not about the glass being half full or half empty; it’s about what’s actually in the glass. A glass completely full to running over with contaminated storm water is not better than a glass barely half full of spendable cash, Jamaican rum, or Godiva dark chocolate chips.

I think, too, we’d have a much better world if we could all collectively agree to stop praying for patience. Maybe then God will stop answering that prayer with opportunities to learn patience. Honestly, I don’t have to pray for those lessons, because they just keep presenting themselves completely unbidden. Despite the fact that prayers for patience, tolerance and diplomacy never leave my lips, I am overrun with chances to practice them and most often fail miserably – especially on the diplomacy part. Which is why I’m the first one to say “It could be worse” to someone so they’ll stop their belly aching, bless their heart.

What! Oct. 5, 2017

What I Heard This Week October 5, 2017

What I Heard This Week - Logo

By Lisa Baker • 10-05-17


Carlos Rafael, a US fishing magnate known as “The CodFather,” has been sentenced to nearly four years in prison for falsely claiming his vessels caught haddock or pollock when they had other species subject to stricter quotas, then sold the fish for cash. He accepted full responsibility for the crimes he committed including tax evasion, false labeling and fish identification. The CodFather. I love it.  There are some stories I find that are a little more fun and interesting than others. Read on.


Gilbert Toby Curtsinger, ringleader of an operation called “Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon Heist,” that stole at least $100,000 worth of bourbon from a couple of Kentucky distilleries, pleaded guilty. We are talking good, expensive bourbon. Nine people (so far) were involved in the bourbon heist which included members of his softball team who over the course of seven years, stole not only bottles but full barrels, which ultimately led to their ruin…how many people do you know that have a barrel of bourbon in their kitchen? The full barrels were worth between $1,200 to $1,500. Most of the bourbon is ruined since only unopened bottles could be salvaged which makes us all very sad.


The woman that was physically removed from a Southwest flight (and recorded) told officials she had a life-threatening pet allergy but then couldn’t produce a medical certificate needed for her flight from Baltimore to LA. Why…there were two dogs on board. Crew members told her that she could be barred from the flight if she couldn’t travel safely with animals on board but she refused to leave the plane. What’s wrong here? That’s like going into the restaurant that has peanut shells on the floor and you’re allergic to peanuts. YOU JUST CAN’T GO INTO THAT RESTAURANT! If you have a pet allergy, then you need to let the airlines know before you board the plane. Geez. Why must some things be so difficult?


Earthquakes. Volcanos. Hurricanes. Flooding. Mass Shootings. Now, fleas have tested positive for the Bubonic Plague in two counties in Arizona. You remember the Bubonic Plague…the infectious disease that killed millions in the Middle Ages. It seems that prairie dogs began dropping dead so someone said, “hmmm. I wonder why.”  The plague is curable with early treatment and antibiotics. Prairie dog holes are now being dusted with an insecticide to help prevent the spread through prairie dog colonies. You just thought we had it bad.


Rapper B.o.B. started a GoFundMe so he can prove that the Earth is flat. He only needs $1-million to launch multiple satellites into space to prove his point. I know that you’re asking yourself what’s wrong with all the thousands of images from all the other satellites already out there? Hmmm.  He needs a job.


Saudi Arabia was the only country in the world where women couldn’t legally drive. It could harm their ovaries.  Soon, women will be allowed to drive. Next year, in fact. They had only recently received the right to vote. As Bob Dylan sings, “…then you better start swimmin’, or you’ll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changin’.”


North Korea threatened to deploy a hydrogen bomb. Kim Jong Un said, “I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged US dotard with fire…” hmmm. Dotard. According to Merriam-Webster, this is “a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise. The word comes from the Middle English word ‘doten’ (to dote), and initially had the meaning of ‘imbecile’ when it began being used in the 14th century.Shakespeare liked to use the word. Ref: The Taming of the Shrew and Much Ado About Nothing… “Tush, tush, man, never fleer (laugh) and jest at me. I speak not like a dotard nor a fool.”


A new study published in the annals (records) of Internal Medicine found that even if you are a heavy exerciser, people with desk jobs should get up every thirty minutes and walk around. You will live longer. By doing this, you may live. Period. Get up.


HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor Wilford Brimley is 83. The Waltons.  Rock singer Meat Loaf is 70. Can that be? Singer Shaun Cassidy is 59. Singer-actress Olivia Newton-John is 69. Musician Cesar Rosas is 63. Los Lobos. He can play the guitar!  Actress Linda Hamilton is 61. The Terminator and Beauty and the Beast.  Actress Melissa Sue Anderson is 55. Mary Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie. Actor Walter Kownig is 81. Pavel Chekov in Star Trek. Singer-actress-dancer Joey Heatherton is 73. She posed for Playboy in 1997, at the age of 53.

Actor Sam Neill is 70. Dr. Alan Grant in Jurassic Park. Actor Tommy Lee Jones is 71. Director Oliver Stone is 71. Football Hall of Fame Dan Marino is 56. Britain’s Prince Harry is 33. Actor Ed Begley Jr. is 68. Country singer David Bellamy is 67. Actor Mickey Rourke is 61. Magician David Copperfield is 61. Actress Jennifer Tilly is 59. Celia in Monsters’ Inc. and a World Series Ladies’ Poker winner. She’s good. Singer Julio Iglesias is 74. Rock star Bruce Springsteen is 68.

Actor Jason Alexander is 58. George Costanza. Actress Angie Dickinson is 86. Singer Sissy Houston is 84. Singer Johnny Mathis is 82. Actress Fran Drescher is 60. Classical singer Andrea Bocelli is 59. Rocker Joan Jett is 59. Actor Scott Baio is 57. Chachi Arcola on Happy Days. Actress Bonnie Hunt is 56. Actress Brigitte Bardot is 83. Actress Hilary Duff is 30. Former President Jimmy Carter is 93.


Deaths: Television icon Monty Hall has died at the age of 96 of heart failure. Remember Let’s Make a Deal which started in 1963.  What was behind door No. 3? As a little kid, I always liked it when he offered money for what women in the audience had in their purses. Liliane Bettencourt, L’Oréal cosmetics heiress and the world’s richest woman, died at the age of 94. Jake LaMotta, the boxing champion whose career was depicted in 1980 by Robert DeNiro in the film, “Raging Bull,” died at the age of 95. Violet Brown, the world’s oldest person, died at the age of 117. Xavier “X” Atencio, an animator behind early Disney movies including “Pinocchio” and “Fantasia” and the imaginer behind the beloved Disneyland rides like “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “The Haunted Mansion,” died at the age of 98. Musician Tom Petty died of heart failure at the young age of 66.


Hugh Hefner died at age 91 of natural causes. He was buried in Los Angeles next to Marilyn Monroe – his first ever Playboy cover star, in a plot that Hefner bought in 1992 for $75,000. He is survived by 4 children and third and current wife of five years, Crystal Harris (she was 60-years younger.) That’s like Betty White marrying Zac Efron. Hmmm. “Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.” Hugh Hefner


OJ Simpson has been released from prison. He got out on good behavior. Settle down girls.


Aaron Hernandez, former football player serving life sentence for murder before he died by suicide, has been identified as having Stage 3 CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) according to Boston University. Stage 4 is the highest. The disease can only be detected through autopsies. It has been linked to depression, memory loss and dementia. There is now a lawsuit against the Patriots and the NFL on behalf of Hernandez’s daughter. Last year the NFL acknowledged a link between football-related head trauma and the brain disease. A study showed that out of 111 brains examined of former NFL players, they found 110 of them had CTE. Yet, these guys continue to collect unbelievable paychecks, then sue because the NFL didn’t protect them from such danger. This doesn’t make any sense to me.


Coca Cola just bought out Topo Chico. Tell me it isn’t so. Coke, don’t mess this up!


Prayers for Las Vegas and our world right now.


– Lisa

Clean College Sheets

Much Ado About Nothing September 28, 2017

Jean Ciampi - Much Ado About Nothing

Much Ado About Nothing by Jan Ciampi

After nearly two months of living in his college dorm room, my youngest son proudly sent me a text message (because you know college kids can’t actually dial a phone and talk on it, they text), and he proudly declared that he had actually washed his sheets … for the first time. As a mother with at least a marginal sense of parental responsibility, I wasn’t sure if I should be overwhelmed with a sense of “Where oh where did I go wrong” or actually proud that I got this text in September and not March.

I try to place it on a scale of what are normal ranges for college freshman. On one end of the spectrum, I know his roommate is still living out of the suitcase he showed up with. At least my kid has his clothes on hangars. Okay, they were on hangars when I left him at the beginning of the semester, so in my mind, they’re on hangars. Just give me this delusion, will you? On the other end, there are the dorm dwellers with beds that would make a military drill sergeant misty-eyed. Of course, those are the kids who also have mothers driving to campus regularly to pick up laundry and drop off lunch. (I can’t even type that idea without cringing.) I guess that makes him pretty normal.

I’m reasonably certain that he has done laundry since he’s been gone despite the failure to include the bed sheets… reasonably certain, but not wholly positive. Which is why, a few weeks in, I sent a care package with socks and underwear, just in case. He’s probably too old for CPS to take him into custody for parental neglect, but, at the same time, I try to keep up appearances of being a good mother.

So I sent a reply to his text asking if he’d also gotten the sheets back onto the bed. And he had. I mean, to clarify, they were piled up on the bed with the rest of the laundry, so that sort of counts. I’m not sure if the bed was ever actually made again, and, honestly, I didn’t pursue it past there. As a parent, you have to chalk the wins when you can and let go of the rest. He has clean sheets – I’m a happy mom.

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  • Much Ado About Nothing - Crabbiness

    by on January 4, 2018 - 0 Comments

    If you have a verifiable emergency, call 9-1-1. Indicators that you might have an emergency are the presence of more blood than can be contained in an average sized Band-aide; firearms being used inside a building that isn’t a gun range; and fire where fire shouldn’t be. All those things constitute a call to 9-1-1. […]

  • What I Heard This Week! Dec. 28, 2017

    by on December 28, 2017 - 0 Comments

    My list of New Year’s resolutions. Here’s the first: (1) Stop procrastinating so much. I’ll post the rest tomorrow or maybe the day after. House for Sale that once belonged to Rockets Hakeem Olajuwon. 7,271-square-feet for $595,000, includes four-bedrooms, six full baths, two half baths (can you imagine cleaning eight toilets), pool & spa, waterfall, […]

  • What I Heard This Week! Jan. 4, 2018

    by on January 4, 2018 - 0 Comments

    They ordered their pizza 5 minutes before the New Year and when it arrived they firmly stated, “Wait, we ordered this pizza a year ago.” 😊 Reliable, smart, compassionate Hoda Kobt has officially replaced Matt Lauer on “Today” and the former (fired) newsman sent her a congratulations text. Whoopee. I don’t know why it would […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Blood Donor

    by on December 21, 2017 - 0 Comments

    Christmas shopping recently quickly reminded me that this is truly the season to be bled dry. From your MasterCard, checking, savings, 401K, and your children’s college funds should all be liquidated, right? But until you’ve really opened a vein, you haven’t been bled for Christmas. This Christmas give the real gift: The Gift of Life. […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Space Trash

    by on January 11, 2018 - 0 Comments

    Attention People of Earth! It’s like this: remember that 9.4-ton unmanned space station that China launched, oh, way back when? No? Well, it’s going to be crashing into Earth sometime in the next couple of months. While nothing can ruin your day quite like being obliterated by space debris with a “Made in China” tag […]

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