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Baby Doc
Jean Ciampi
My youngest son turned 18 recently which means I’m off the hook for a lot of big things. If his debilitating case of senioritis keeps him from making it to his first period class enough times, the truancy officer doesn’t haul me into court now. He goes. I’m not responsible for his debts, like what he owes to Firestone for that front end alignment. (I told him if he banged that curb coming into the neighborhood enough times…). And I don’t make his doctor’s appointments anymore. However, he was still a minor when I made the appointment for his annual checkup with his favorite doctor: his pediatrician.
Because no good deed goes unpunished, he made me go to the appointment with him. There we sat in the waiting room with the fishes and dolphins painted on the walls, PBS on the television, and countless coughing, drooling, snotty, germ-infested babies and toddlers. Just me and my kid who is a full foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than me. But, I can brag in front of the other moms that my baby was the only one there with full facial hair, a driver’s license, and a constitutional right to cast a ballot. Let’s see their elementary school honor roll top that!
I realized, though, that some things will just never change. For example, while we were sitting there waiting, we suddenly hear the ear-piercing, blood-curdling screams of some poor child who had obviously just come due for some kind of booster shot. Either that he was having his fingernails ripped off with pliers. Those screams are so similar, it’s hard to distinguish which is which. Every kid in that waiting room froze, including mine. He turned his bearded man-face to me and said with an unmasked level of panic in his voice, “I don’t need shots for college, do I?!” Just when you think your baby is all grown up and gone, you realize that little boy will always be there.
We’ve always loved our pediatrician. He’s one of the Top 5 Greatest Guys Ever. So I understand not wanting to give him up. If his office accepted Medicare, my kids would probably plan to be patients there for life. Besides, you’re just never too old for a SpongeBob sticker and a Donald Duck Band-Aid.
What! January 26, 2017
By Lisa Baker • 01-26-17
We have a new President who continues to Tweet. Or is that Twit. The new First Lady looked stunning in a pale blue dress and jacket by Ralph Lauren with shoes and gloves to match. Let’s pray that good things happen to and for our country.
Several times a week, a woman and her two sons cross the border from Juarez into El Paso to purchase Krispy Kreme donuts. They buy around 40 boxes of assorted donuts at $5 each, then takes them back to Mexico where they sell them for a profit at $8 dozen. Have you ever had Kristy Kreme donuts? If you have NOT, then you would never, ever understand.
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor James Earl Jones is 86. Singer-songwriter Neil Diamond is 76. Comedian Yakov Smirnoff is 66. Actress Nastassja Kinski is 58. Olympic gold-medal gymnast Mary Lou Retton is 49. Talk-show host Maury Povich is 78. Actor-comedian Steve Harvey is 60. Actor Jim Carrey is 55. Rapper Kid Rock is 46. Pro Football Hall of Famer Randy White is 64. Actor Chad Lowe is 49. Rapper Pitbull is 36. Singer-songwriter Bobby Goldsboro is 76. Remember the song “Honey.” That was in 1968. He played guitar with Roy Orbison before he was a star in his own right. Actor-director Kevin Costner is 62. Author Mary Higgins Clark is 89. I loved her books. Designer Kate Spade is 54.
Singer-songwriter Ray Stevens is 78. Remember Everything Is Beautiful, Misty, Gitarzan and The Streak. Actor Jason Segel is 37. He co-wrote and starred in The Muppet Movie. Actor John Hurt is 77. Actress Linda Blair is 58. Yikes. I’m scared just thinking about her head spinning around in The Exorcist. Celebrity chef Guy Fieri is 49. Actress Chita Rivera is 84. Princess Caroline of Monaco is 60.
President Obama commuted the prison sentence of Chelsea Manning (he was Bradley Manning before gender-reassignment while in prison,) allowing the Army intelligence officer who leaked more than 700,000 classified government and military documents to WikiLeaks along with battlefield video, to go free nearly three decades early . The actions are permanent and cannot be undone by President Trump.
Joke…a girl sends a text… “What does IDK stand for? Reply: “I don’t know.” Response: “OMG, nobody knows.” I’m still laughing.
Colo, the world’s first gorilla born in a zoo, died in her sleep less than a month after her 60th birthday at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Colo was the oldest known living gorilla in the U.S. The median life expectancy for female gorillas in human care is 37.5 years.
A New York man who was charged with driving while intoxicated allegedly bought nearly 1,000 copies of his local newspaper in an attempt to keep people he knew from finding out.
Monopoly is letting you vote for new board game tokens. Classics like the hat, shoe or Scottie dog could be traded in for a cell phone, hashtag or emoji. Hurry. www.VoteMonopoly.com. Voting ends in just a few days.
105-year-old Robert Marchand of France cycled 14 miles in one hour, setting a world record for his age group. Did you catch that…he’s 105.
Crews have begun to pump sand that was dredged from the Galveston Ship Channel into the beach in front of the seawall in Galveston. It will take approximately four-months to finish the project.
The doctor says to the patient…”What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?” Hmmm. I should go for a walk now.
Some thoughts from 2016: Hamilton…Pokémon Go…Scary Clowns…Olympics…David Bowie… Leonard Cohen…George Michael…Debbie Reynolds…Carrie Fisher…Super Bowl… Muhammad Ali…mass shootings… Patty Duke… Prince… zika virus… Chris Christie… Kardashians… Russian Interference… Angelina and Brad…El Chapo…Flint Water…Chipotle…North Korea… big hands… Oregon Standoff…Antonin Scalia…Deflated Balls…Ben Carson…bomb threats… which bathroom…Queen’s birthday…gorilla Harambe…Kentucky Derby…skydiver Luke Aikins… Ryan Lochte… National Anthem…Galaxy Note 7’s Batteries…Samsung washers…new iPhone 7… Game of Thrones…Michael Phelps…Katie Ledecky…Simone Biles…Star Wars…Finding Dory…“Can’t Stop the Feeling”…Billy Bush…WikiLeaks…Anthony Weiner…Affordable Care Act… Bob Dylan…Nobel Prize…Chicago Cubs…Trump twitters…Fidel Castro…Alec Baldwin…Black Lives Matter…Electoral College…Glenn Frey…penis transplant…Harper Lee…George Kennedy… Presidential Election…Merle Haggard…Guy Clark…Gene Wilder…Arnold Palmer…Leon Russell… Florence Henderson…John Glenn…Alan Thicke…Zsa Zsa Gabor…Bretix.
Chevrolet unveiled its LEGO Batmobile recently at the Detroit/North American International Auto Show. It was inspired by Batman’s vehicle in the soon-to-hit-theatres The LEGO Batman Movie. It is 17-ft long, almost 1,700-pounds, took 344,187 LEGO bricks and 1,833 hours to build.
Several months ago, my daughter announced that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson was coming to Houston. He is an Astrophysicist that happens to be a rock star in the world of science. Well, when your kids ask for candy, electronics or new clothes, you have to stop and ask some questions…but when they ask you to take them to go see someone talk about science, you just have to jump right in and get the tickets. We saw Dr. Tyson at SPA last week and he spoke for two solid hours on the subject of outer space. It was definitely the most interesting two hours “ever.”
“I dream of a world where the truth is what shapes people’s politics, rather than politics shaping what people think is true.” Neil deGrasse Tyson
An avalanche that appears to have been triggered by a series of earthquakes in central Italy, buried a ski town hotel.
Will and Grace are coming back to NBC. Will and Grace are best friends. Will is a gay lawyer and Grace is a straight interior designer and they live in New York, together. The first episode aired in 1998. Last show was about ten years ago.
Because of The Super Bowl, people are renting out their entire houses, condos or apartments in Houston. Well, guess what? State hotel occupancy taxes are due when you rent sleeping accommodations for $15 or more per day. The state hotel occupancy tax rate is 6%. Some people that they interviewed on TV were asking $5000 a week for their homes. Hmmm. At 6% that’s a bunch of money.
More snow storms in the north and California, tons of rain in the west and California, tornadoes sweep the south …at Disneyland, heavy rains poured and a flash flood warning was issued as the very few guests hid under the monorail…strange weather.
Lake Jackson/Freeport native, Kristi Hoss Schiller of K9s4COPs, has donated a 3-year-old Labrador retriever named Bucee (after Buc-ee’s) to the Brazoria County Sheriff’s Office. Thank you, Kristi.
Almost three years after Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared with 239 people onboard, officials say that they have called off the underwater search for the plane.
February 4th is World Cancer Day. I take this opportunity to say “Kick Butt” to all my friends that are fighting cancer right now.
Groundhog Day is coming up on February 2. What does that mean this year? He must be so confused.
I saw a report on TV about cardboard tents for camping festivals. Their selling point was having a tent available when you are flying to a location and can’t haul all your camping gear with you…they will mail the tent to your camping location. The cardboard tent promises to withstand the roughest weather, even three days of rain and can then be recycled. They will even print text or photos on the side of the tent to make it more personal. I liked the fact that it stays dark inside long after sunrise.
You’ve heard of the English that mount their horses, blow the horn, release the fox, and follow with their dogs in hot pursuit. (I don’t think that they really do that anymore but it’s the only example I could think of.) Well, now during drone hunting, everyone hops on their dirt bike, they release the drone and the party begins. So, what happens if you bag the drone…taxidermy or crockpot? I couldn’t find a good recipe.
According to news reports this morning, it looks like the Norovirus is making its way to our area. It’s nasty, very contagious, acts quickly and is difficult to prevent. Schools are being forced to close. Vomiting and diarrhea can come as quickly as 12-48 hours after exposure. It is carried in the air and is hard to wash away…a quick application of hand sanitizer won’t get rid of it. You must vigorously wash your hands and nails with soap and hot water for at least 30 seconds. There was more information but it’s too gross to repeat. Just take my word for it. Wash your hands.
When police in Western Australia stopped a speeding pickup truck, the driver claimed to be exceeding the legal limit because “the wind was pushing me.” Was he just blowing in the wind?
Two employees were spending the night at a Houston gun shop because of so many previous break-ins. Shortly after midnight, one employee saw two cars pull up in the front parking lot. The employees grabbed weapons, headed for the parking lot, and returned fire, but were only able to detain two of the individuals while they called to report a burglary in progress. Shortly, two people dropped off a man at a Houston Medical Center with non-life-threatening gunshot wounds and then drove away. Now, it sounds like the potential robbers initiated the gunfire yet two of the three that were interviewed have been released because no robbery had occurred. Sigh.
David Sanborn played a great concert at The Clarion. He’s the American saxophonist that blends jazz with pop and R&B. He contracted polio at the age of three and was introduced to the saxophone as part of his therapy. By the age of 14, he was playing with legends. After studying music, he played woodstock with the Butterfield Blue Band.
Celebrate everything until further notice. Lisa Baker
What! January 19, 2017
By Lisa Baker • 01-19-17
I swore I would never write about Johnny Manziel again…I lied. It is my job to keep you informed. During Super Bowl week, Manziel will have two autograph sessions where for $99 he will sign any item for you…plus $29 if you want him to write a special inscription up to “four” words. Another $99 will get you a professional photo, but if you’re looking for a bargain, it’s just $50 for a selfie. I would pay not to have to go.
An airlines worker got a free ride from Charlotte, North Carolina to Dulles Airport in Washington after a regional flight took off with him still inside the cargo hold. Oops. It was stated that no baggage handlers were harmed during this exercise.
In Florida, a pit bull named Scarface, turned on its owner who was, get this, trying to dress the dog in a sweater. The lady’s husband and adult son were also injured during the “style show.” Hospitalization and surgery were needed for the woman involved. Some people should not have children or pets. See below.
According to the USDA, the cost of raising a child in a middle class family is about $233,610. That includes housing, transportation, clothing and more. Teens cost a bit more because they eat so much and have more transportation needs. I could have told them that bit of news.
The moon is much older than scientists suspected…4.51 billion years is the newest estimate, thanks to rocks that were collected by the Apollo 14 moon-walkers in 1971. Hmmm. 46 years. Amazing information.
This is good: A Cypress man was pulled over last year for failing to use a turn signal. He had no concerns about letting the officers search his car. The officers found a sock stuffed with kitty litter to absorb moisture. Two field tests showed the substance in the sock was lots of methamphetamine. The man was jailed on $100,000 bond. The case was dismissed recently with the reason as “not a controlled substance.” Another oops.
Alligator snapping turtles are a threatened species in Texas, mainly because of the leftover monofilament fishing line which can wrap around and cause them to drown…I am reminded of a joke. There were two alligator ladies talking to each other. One says to the other, “I love your new purse.” The other alligator lady says, “Thank you, it’s my ex-husband.” Lost in translation…
March 7-26, 2017 Rodeo Entertainment lineup was announced. Aaron Watson, Old Dominion, Chris Stapleton, Alicia Keys, Alan Jackson, The Chainsmokers, Sam Hunt, Meghan Trainor, Thomas Rhett, Luke Bryan, Fifth Harmony, Willie Nelson, Banda El Recorda and Siggno, Florida Georgia Line, ZZ Top, Chris Young, Blink 182, Dierks Bentley, Brad Paisley and The Zac Brown Band. Go to rodeohouston.com. SEE OUR AD ON PAGE 10.
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Legend Betty White is 95. Singer Rod Stewart is 72. Boxing Hall of Fame entrepreneur George Foreman is 68. Singer Pat Benatar is 64. Singer Naomi Judd is 71. Singer Robert Earl Keen is 61. Singer Mary J. Blige is 46. Actress Kirstie Alley is 66. Radio-TV personality Howard Stern is 63. Entrepreneur Jeff Bezos is 53. Amazon.com. Actress Diane Lane is 52. Dolly Parton is 71. Auto racer A.J. Foyt is 82. Actress Debbie Allen is 67. Actor/playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda is 37. Can’t wait to see what he does in the next 37 years.
The iPhone is 10 years-old. Remember when they unveiled the “phone and computer” all-in-one and we scratched our heads wondering why in the world we would need that when we had the tried and true BlackBerry in our pockets. Now every kid over the age of 7 has an iPhone in their hand and blackberries are just for fruit salad.
Ford is bringing back the Bronco that was discontinued 20 years ago (best known as the O.J. Simpson chase car) and the Ranger truck. Their return is motivated by increasing demand for SUV’s and trucks.
Research shows that many white storks have become addicted to junk food in landfill sites in Spain and Portugal, so they now live year-round in one location and don’t migrate from Europe to Africa for the winter. I wonder how this is effecting the delivery of newborns.
The average American life expectancy is now 78.8 years.
French police arrested 17 people in the October theft of more than $10 million worth of jewelry from Kim Kardashian West, who was tied up and locked in a bathroom in her Paris apartment. The suspects range in age from 23 to 72 and were tracked down through DNA evidence left in the apartment. Stupid thieves.
Buc-ee’s is going to have natural gas-powered micro-grids at 10 stores. Micro-grids will allow the stores to run on separate energy sources during power outages.
Paleontologists at China University of Geosciences discovered a dinosaur tail feather preserved in amber. It was 1.4-inches long and is stated as further proof that dinosaurs were birdlike.
George Washington first said the words in 1789…the simple presidential oath of office as part of the inauguration ceremony. “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Many new Presidents used George Washington’s inaugural bible as they are sworn in. Others used their family bibles. John Quincy Adams used a book of laws. Lyndon Johnson used a Catholic missal. Teddy Roosevelt did not have a book of any kind. Franklin Pierce “affirmed” rather than “swore” his oath because he had a crisis of faith after his son’s death. George W. Bush used his family bible because it was wet outside but had another swearing in after going indoors. Obama chose to use Lincoln’s Bible with Martin Luther King’s Bible underneath. A fake news site says that Trump will be using a carpet sample book. I have always tried to have great respect for the office of the President but you have to admit, that’s pretty funny.
Current law has the Vice President of the United States reciting a different oath: “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.”
January 20th Inauguration Day. It’s right around the corner.
This is nuts. The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases is now reporting that one of the best ways to prevent a peanut allergy is to give your kids peanut products starting when they are babies. Old guidelines said to never give children any peanut butter until they were at least three. As the mother of a child with a peanut allergy, this is scary information. There was no discussion about smooth vs. chunky.
After seven years of marriage, HGTV Flip or Flop stars, Tarek and Christina El Moussa will divorce. They say that they will continue to work together.
We gave milkweed seeds to our customers a couple of years ago. The drought has killed all the milkweed so we need to make it available for the Monarch butterflies since that’s the only thing they eat. It’s critical. In my back office garden we continue to have milkweed (almost year round), which leads to the monarch egg stage (takes about 4 days), caterpillar stage (about 2 weeks), chrysalis stage (10 days), and then you have the beautiful adult butterfly which live about 2-6 weeks. SO, plant some milkweed. If you need more information, call Carol Jones at the Gulf Coast Bird Observatory. 979-480-0999. I have a monarch chrysalis on my conference table right now because I didn’t see it attached to some onions I pulled from the garden. More than beautiful, Monarch butterflies contribute to the health of our planet. Do your part.
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus announced that after 146 years of performances, they are closing in May. Good-bye to death-defying feats, the flying trapeze, lion tamers, human cannonballs and The Greatest Show on Earth.
The new Naked Chicken Chalupa taco shell is made up of all white meat seasoned fried chicken. I said Taco SHELL. The rest of the taco is lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese and avocado ranch sauce. January 26th. I will have to taste it to understand it. No problem. I love Taco Bell.
A swim meet between Virginia Tech and the University of Kentucky was canceled because of a snow storm so the swimmers decided to have some fun and have a relay…in the snow…in below 20 degree weather. One swimmer said, “Even if I accomplish nothing else in this life, I did something fun.”
Because of tremendous online sales during the holiday season, Macy’s will close about 60 of its 730 stores this year and expects to cut more than 10,000 jobs. Sears said it plans to shut 150 locations including 109 of its Kmart stores. The Limited, founded in 1963, says it has closed all physical stores including 5 in the Houston area, but will continue to operate online.
A study has revealed that the kind of man a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected on this subject. Hmmm.
Gene Cernan, an early NASA astronaut who was the last man to set foot on the moon, died at the age of 82.
Steve Forbes brings up some interesting ideas in the November edition of Forbes. He suggests that with the possible collapse of ObamaCare…perhaps we should be allowed to shop nationwide for our insurance…not just state-by-state, have transparency on prices (when you walk in to The Local to eat, they give you a menu with the prices on it…don’t they) and freedom of choice to not pay for un-needed services such as pregnancy for men. That’s a good one. And we shouldn’t be forced to purchase insurance. There is more. Pull it up. It’s a good read.
The next full moon will be February 11th. New moon is January 28th.
A two-pack of the EpiPen allergy treatment can sell for more than $600. CVS is now carrying a generic version that will cost $109.99 for a two-pack.
The Time Jumpers, which is Vince Gill and “Ranger Doug” Green from Riders in the Sky (and some other people that I can’t remember) will be playing at TheGrand.com on February 11th, in Galveston.
Maybe this will get your attention…climate change…the warming waters effect the fish in the United Kingdom (fish and chips), the coffee grown near the equator, the avocados grown in California…
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.” Dalai Lama
A Mesquite, Texas woman was reunited with her Shih Tzu four years after the dog was taken while the family was at church. The dog was found in Las Vegas because it had been microchipped.
The earth has music for those who listen. William Shakespeare
Massive snow storms in the north, excessive rains in the west…
The doctor says to the patient… “What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?” hmmm. I should go for a walk now.
