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10 ACRES, CR-112

10 ACRES, CR-112: Sugar Valley/Ashwood, Matagorda County, Open Pasture, $75,000. BOBBY BROWN REAL ESTATE, 979-292-4444

 

NOTICE! E&S BODY SHOP

NOTICE! E&S BODY SHOP: Is Now Open! Light Collision Work On Overall Paint Jobs, West Columbia, 979-482-1485

 

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FOR SALE: RECONDITIONED WASHERS/DRYERS For $150ea., With 90-Day Warranty. We Can Repair Your Kenmore, Whirlpool, Roper Washers & Most Brand Dryers. 979-798-4648

 

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We Buy: Non-working Kenmore, Whirlpool & Roper Washers & Dryers, 979-798-4648

 

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ALL SEASONS FEEDERS: 15% Discount On All Feeders Everyday Price! 979-292-4894

 

DATE CHANGE FOR BRAZOSPORT HIGH SCHOOL CLASSES OF 1977 & 1978 REUNION

DATE CHANGE FOR BRAZOSPORT HIGH SCHOOL CLASSES OF 1977 & 1978 REUNION: Rescheduled To Spring 2019. Please Spread The Word & Send Us Any Email […]

 

SEPTIC SYSTEMS

SEPTIC SYSTEMS: Specializing In Updating Older Systems, FAST SEPTIC PERMITS, County Approved. Concrete Tanks. We Can Also Repair Your Existing AEROBIC SYSTEMS If Needed. Free […]

 

AZLIN HUNTING ADVENTURES

AZLIN HUNTING ADVENTURES: Now Booking Quality Hunts For Trophy Whitetail and 30+ Species Of Exotic Game On 10+ Ranches Throughout The Texas Hill Country. Azlin […]

 

TIM’S PAINTING & REMODELING

TIM’S PAINTING & REMODELING: Drywall Removal & Repair! Interior/Exterior Painting, Power Washing, Removal Of Popcorn Ceilings, Refinishing Cabinets, Free Estimates, 979-297-4608, 979-236-5487

 

Misc

BEAT THE STEEL TARIFFS WITH SHADE & SHELTER’S GREAT PRICES! We Have A Large Stock Of 26GA PBR Galvalume & Painted R-Panel In Various Lengths. […]

 

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Get Cash: Fast! We Buy Houses, Any Condition. Call John Or Steve, Clyde Cone Realtors, 979-265-4701

 

PINKEY’S GOLF CARTS

PINKEY’S GOLF CARTS: Sales, Parts, Service, Batteries, Lift Kits & Accessories. Gas & Electric Carts Available. Monday-Saturday, Closed Sundays. WE MAKE SERVICE CALLS. 979-665-2487

 

Used Washers & Dryers

Used Washers & Dryers: For Sale, Excellent Condition, $169 Each, 6-Month Warranty. Alton Fortner, 979-415-4841

 

LEGACY RETRIEVERS Is Now Your Destination For All Your Dog Training Needs

LEGACY RETRIEVERS Is Now Your Destination For All Your Dog Training Needs: We Are A FULL-TIME Operation That Provides Hunting, Competition, & Obedience Training. Boarding […]

 

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SEPTIC REPAIR: I Can Make Your Old Septic Work Again! Clogged Field Lines, Broken Pipes, Etc. Call Grant 979-824-0249

 

WAY STATION RV PARK

WAY STATION RV PARK: 14462 S. Hwy-36, South Of Brazoria. Daily/Weekly/Monthly Rates, $450/Monthly, +Deposit, +Electric. Propane Bottles Filled Daily/After Hours/Weekends. 979-236-5492

 

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What I Heard This Week! November 8, 2018

What I Heard This Week November 8, 2018

Butterball’s famousTurkey Talk Line is now available on Amazon’s home assistant Alexa in addition to phone calls, texting or live streaming.It all began in 1981 when six home economists worked the phones during the holiday season and answered more than 11,000 turkey-cooking questions. Since then the Turkey Talk-Line has grown in both the number of calls answered and experts responding. They now have 50-plus experts including Spanish-speaking and ‘male’ talk-line experts that will answer more than 100,000 questions this year, so you are not alone. If you need to talk turkey call 1-800-BUTTERBALL (1-800-288-8372) or text 844-877-3456. The line is now open.


Consider this a public service announcement. Recently, I received mail that suggested this year’s holiday gatherings might be the perfect time to notice age-related changes in some of your family members. It listed the differences between the signs of Alzheimer’s or Dementia and just the typical forgetfulness of aging, so I have decided not to go anywhere for the holidays. I’m just warning YOU, they will be watching your every move.1. Be on your best behavior. 2. Rehearse the names of all the casseroles (write them on your hand) and 3. Don’t start telling a story if you can’t remember why you were telling it or what the ending is. When you see them eye-balling you, remember that you saw it here first. You could have stayed home, too.


Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it. – unknown but understood by all…


Fall clean up and shredding day Saturday November 10,LJ City Hall 8-11. Shredding, used oil, eye glasses and cell phone recycling. On the same day at Brazoria County Fairgrounds is the Residential Electronics Recycling from 8-12noon. They will accept computers, mice/keyboards, laptops, toner and ink cartridges, routers, monitors, printers, cable boxes, servers, TV’s, fax machines, and phones.


Police in Georgia pulled over a man for driving with his 3-month-old daughter in his lap, only to discover that when he stopped, he had placed the baby on the floorboard at his feet and said, “I was just about to stop and change her diaper.” What he didn’t tell officers was that he had laid the baby on top of a stolen gun, there was marijuana in the driver’s side door and over 600 ecstasy pills shaped like Lego pieces. Lego pieces?!? You’re kidding me. The baby was not hurt, and the mother came to pick her up…sure wouldn’t want to be that baby daddy right now and catch the wrath.


Stafford Centre: Guess who’s coming? Gary Puckett & the Union Gap (Young Girl, WomanWoman) along with Gary Lewis & The Playboys (This Diamond Ring, Everybody Loves a Clown). What a blast from the past. November 9th. 281-335-4954. I just listened to Count Me In, and This Girl is a Woman Nowand it’s stuck in my head.  I was singing while pulling weeds in front of my office today.


Someone stole a giant inflatable colon from the back of a truck in Kansas City, Missouri. The stolen colon (it rhymes), which is 10-ft-by-10-ft and weighs around 150-pounds is used to raise awareness about colorectal cancer. Who would steal an inflatable colon? A $1000 reward was offered and a fundraiser to replace the colon raised more than $11,000. Police recovered the stolen colon but not before the puns started. Katie Couric tweeted, “Does anyone know the scope of the crime? Hopefully, there’s no obstruction of justice. We need to flush out what happened here and get to the BOTTOM of it.” Sigh. No arrests have been made and the organization does not plan to press charges.


Spend the evening of Saturday November 10th with Adriana Zabala, who was raised right here in our own community. She is now a world-renowned mezzo soprano and will be singing with the Brazosport Symphony Orchestra. bcfas.org/symphony or 979-265-7661.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Movie director Spike Jonze is 49. Married to Sofia Coppola. Reggae rapper Shaggy is 50. Movie director Ang Lee is 64. Best Director Academy Award for “Life of Pi.” Country singer Dwight Yoakam is 62. Community activist Martin Luther King III is 61. Movie director Same Raimi is 59. Spider-Man trilogy.Parodist “Weird Al” Yankovic is 59. Rock musician Robert Trujillo is 54. Metallica.Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates is 63.

Olympic track and field gold medalist Caitlyn Jenneris 69.aka Bruce Jenner.Actor Ryan Reynolds is 42. Actor John Lithgow is 73. Host Ty Pennington is 54. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  Rock musician Bill Wyman is 82. Rolling Stones. Actor Kevin Kline is 71. Country musician drummerBilly Thomas is 65. He is the newest member of The Time Jumpers. R&B singer-rapper-actor Drake is 32. Actress Lee Grant is 93.Shampoo and In the Heat of the Night. Actor Dennis Franz is 74. Detective Andy Sipowicz in the ABC television series NYPD Blue.

Actress Lauren Holly is 55. Actress Julia Roberts is 51. Singer Ben Harper is 49. Country singer Brad Paisley is 46. Actor Joaquin Phoenix is 44. Singer rapper Frank Ocean is 31. Actress Angie Dickinson is 87. Singer Johnny Mathis is 83. Actress Fran Drescher is 61. Country singer Marty Stuart is 60. Actor Eric Stoltz is 57. He played opposite Cher in Mask, as a teen coping with a facial deformity. Actress Jenna Elfman is 47. Actor Ashley Hamilton is 44. Actress Annie Potts is 66.

TV hostJane Pauley is 68. Actor B.D. Wong is 58.The only actor in Broadway history to receive the Tony Award, Drama Desk Award, Outer Critics Circle Award, Clarence Derwent Award, and Theatre World Award for the same role, Song Liling in M. Butterfly.  Actor Ron Rifkin is 80. Actor Dermot Mulroney is 55. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Young Guns.Actress Julie Andrews is 83.


A 13-year-old won hands-down with her Halloweencostume, dressed as a ‘tired mom.’ The girl was holding a baby doll to a diaper burp rag on her shoulder, with another toddler baby doll wrapped around her leg while she held a Target sack as a diaper bag, a Starbucks cup in the other, a pacifier pinned to her bra strap, a shirt with spit-up down the front and a nursing pad slipping out the top, cheerios stuck in her messy hair and dark circles under her eyes. There is not a single mother out there that didn’t relate to this costume.  The girl happens to be one of nine children, so I guess as she has watched her mother, she has a fuller understanding of what its really like to be a mother. Oh, I almost forgot. There was also a bottle of wine in the diaper bag. I’m giggling just thinking about it.


Netflix will be making a documentary film about the entire life of Prince, with the support of the late musician’s estate and use of Prince’s archives. The new Elton John movie, “Rocketman,” due to release in May 2019, will have Taron Egerton playing Elton in all his rose-colored glory.


Harley-Davidson is recalling nearly 178,000 motorcycles because of a clutch problem. The recall covers 26 models from 2017 and 2018 and starts this month. Dealers will install the new part at no charge to owners.


A negative mind will never give you a positive life.


Thank you to Sue Cornell of Caldwell Banker for the really, cute little recipe calendar. She does the sweetest things for her real estate friends.Thank you, David for the kind words about AE. You are such a great role model.Congratulations, Peggy Wille as you retire from The Center for the Arts and ScienceBASF Planetarium board. You will be missed but know you will still be around when needed.Stars don’t retire, they just keep on twinkling.


Whitey Bulger was nicknamed Whitey because of his bright platinum hair and was known as an American organized crime boss, gangster and FBI informant. A sudden change in his medical classification suggested that his health had improved but he was actually a very frail 89-year-old in declining health when he was moved to a West Virginia prison.  A Bureau of Prisons official said the Florida prison where he was moved from, considered Bulger a nuisance with behavioral problems and wanted to transfer him. He was recently beaten to death in his jail cell apparently by fellow inmates swinging a lock in a sock. Mr. Bulger appears to have been the third inmate to die as a result of violence at the Hazelton prison this year.


You have to be really strong to read this one. In Iowa, there is a 29-year-old man on trial for leaving his 4-month-old son in the same heavily soiled diaper for “nine to 14 days.” The child was found dead at the parent’s apartment. The diaper had attracted maggots to ruptured skin and e.Coli followed. The coroner’s report showed the baby died of malnutrition, dehydration and infection. Well, I bet you can guess what I think should happen to this guy. The defense claims that he was an ‘experienced’ parent. Nope. I say no cushy jail cell for him. I would put him outside in a diaper and let nature take care of the rest.The baby’s mother will face a separate trial at a later date. Maybe they can find a place for them at Hazelton Prison now that Whitey’s cell is empty.


Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the ‘people in my neighborhood.’


Book of my week: Just finished listening to Decision Points, read by the author, George W. Bush. No matter your political preference, the stories about his family, 9-11, Osama bin laden, the war in Iraq and all that happened during his eight years was fascinating. I recommend it.


Mark your calendar: Santa is coming again this year to the LJ Downtown Gazebo. Thursday, December 13th from 5:30-8pm. Join us for a visit with Santa, goodies from the Parking Way merchants along with a trolley ride to see the downtownChristmas lights. Remember, it’s tradition and you have to create traditions for your children to remember when they have families of their own.


Tomorrow /temaro/n. a mythical land where I get all my stuff done.


Joke: A woman walks into a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks, “what for?” She says, “I want to kill my husband.” He says “sorry, I can’t do that.” She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of her husband ‘with’ the pharmacist’s wife and hands it to him. He says, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription…”


A new spinal cord implant technology has one man able to walk more than a 1/2 mile, hands free. The implants use targeted electrical stimulation to specific parts of the leg, recreating the way the brain interacts with the body.The promising treatment shows the brain and spinal cord can re-establish a connection and people can regain some control over parts of the body they’ve lost. Experts say it’s far too expensive and impractical outside the laboratory setting, but for now it’s a great start.


About four weeks ago, I got up in the middle of the night for a drink of water and walked right smack-dab into a chair leg that planted itself directly between my left ‘little’ toe and the next toe. (Does that toe have a name? Ring finger toe?) Anyway, it’s been a month and it still hurts but there is nothing you can do for a little toe. Moral of this story. Slow down. Turn on lights. Have water at your bedside. Use motion lights. I bought 3 new ones at Costco on Sunday. Have a great weekend. Don’t forget to think about protecting your plants and thanks for taking the time to read this column. It is appreciated. Lisa

Much Ado About Nothing – Sued by Satan

Much Ado About Nothing November 8, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

You think you’re having a bad day? Netflix is getting sued by Satan. Feel better, don’t you? So maybe Netflix isn’t getting sued by Satan himself as Satan probably has more important things to do like breed strife, plant cilantro, and steal souls to the fiery pits of Hell. But Netflix’s popular series “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” is getting sued by The Satanic Temple for copyright infringement. It seems the followers of the Dark Lord are fired up over a statue on the show that looks too much like their Baphomet statue. Oh yes, this should get interesting.

The Satanic Temple, a religious organization that believes “Satan is symbolic of the Eternal Rebel” (according to their website’s Frequently Asked Questions – although admittedly, I don’t ask a lot of questions about The Satanic Temple and will probably clear my computer’s search history now), is usually in the press for wanting to put giant Baphomet statues up on state capitol grounds or staging pro-abortion rallies. They also set themselves up as the public relations folks for Satanists everywhere, which, wow! That has to be a job to try to put a positive spin on that!

So the Temple is upset that on the show Baphomet is portrayed as an idol of the evil “Church of Night” where blood rites and cannibalism are a thing, and they don’t want that to tarnish the image of their organization. As if worshipping Satan, the universal poster boy for all things wicked, destructive and bad, isn’t going to do that on its own? Perhaps this is a case of bad press is better than no press. In their defense, however, after they had the statue commissioned, they did file a protective copyright on it and all images of it. So regardless of how ridiculous, I guess they have that.

As for Netflix, I hate to point out the old adage about lying down with dogs and waking up with fleas. Maybe they needed to just create their own image of Satan instead of appropriating this one. Being in Hollywood, I wouldn’t think they’d have to look very far for a few ideas for that.

Honestly, I’ve never even watched the show. And now, I’ll for sure never watch the show. For that matter, I may just keep the tv off all together and read a dadgum book!

.

What I Heard This Week! October 25, 2018

What I Heard This Week November 1, 2018

The FDA has approved the first drug in nearly 20-years to treat the flu. The oral medication, Xofluza, is designed to reduce symptoms and shorten the flu’s duration for people who have developed their flu symptoms in the past 48-hours.


The husband and wife that fell to their deaths recently at Yosemite National Park were apparently taking a selfie. Taft Point allows visitors to walk to the edge of a vertigo-inducing granite ledge that doesn’t have a railing. Park visitors discovered the couple’s camera and tripod near the ledge the next morning. Hikers who had seen the couple the day before said that the woman seemed very comfortable close to the edge.


In a recent auction, five bottles of wine sold for nearly $2-million total, each joining the list of the priciest bottles in history.


In January of this year, a bottle of the world’s most expensive vodka was stolen from a bar in Copenhagen. The bottle was on loan to the bar, uninsured and estimated to be worth $1.3-million. The bottle was covered in about 6.6 pounds of gold, 6.6 pounds of silver and the cap was encrusted with diamonds in the shape of the Russian Imperial Eagle with the actual bottle made of bullet-proof glass. The bottle was later found empty at a construction site. Hmmm.


California Governor Jerry Brown has been named executive chairman of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, a group that measures ‘manmade threats to human existence.’ The planet is in one of its most dangerous times since the atomic bomb was dropped and Brown stated, “it is crucial to wake people up to the dangers that still persist.” You know, little things like nuclear weapons, climate change (have you paid attention to our weather lately? Turn off your lights, drive less, switch to LED, plan a meatless meal one day a week, NY and London are already thinking of solutions for potential rising tides), pollution (Google: Great Pacific Garbage Patch, recycle), oceanic dead zones (146 dead zones were found in the world’s oceans, caused by high levels of chemicals in the waters. North America’s Gulf Coast has a high concentration of dead zones, which causes fish to become unable to reproduce), explosive population growth (the human population is growing to a point that our society and systems can’t handle), deforestation (use recycled paper and plant a tree), loss of biodiversity (bees and butterflies) and the list goes on and on. Again, I repeat (with a sarcastic edge.) What if it’s a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing?


In Time Magazine said that there was a tiny little article that said there was a study published showing that climate change may make beer more expensive. eee-gads. I had to know more. Nature Plants says that the price of beer could double with climate change, as droughts and extreme temperatures will cause barley yields to drop. If this doesn’t get your attention, then nothing will. 😊


Venice, Italy was hit with a high tide this week, leaving about 70% of the city covered in 5ft. of water. There was a combination of more rain in two days than they’d had in 3 months and the highest tide in years, then news stated because of rising sea levels, the Venetians could expect this again in the future.


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was released in 1998 which makes it now 20 years old. Hard to believe. Just think. Those kids have kids reading the series now. These books brought so much joy to my own kids that if asked, I would suggest this as the “best” gift you could give a child. My 19-year-old daughter agrees since she has read the whole series four times and is listening to the audio books right now while she works in the studio for architecture at college. Put it on your Christmas list.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Rock singer musician Bob Weir is 71. Grateful Dead. Actress Dawn Wells is 80. Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island. Actress Pam Dawber is 68. Mork & Mindy. Writer producer Chuck Lorre is 66. Called the “King of Sitcoms” he has created and produced Grace Under Fire, Cybill, Dharma & Greg, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Mike & Molly, Mom, and Young Sheldon. Actor Jean-Claude Van Damme is 58. Kung Fu Panda 2 & 3. Jazz musician Wynton Marsalis is 57. Actor Zac Efron is 31.  The Greatest Showman. Actor Tim Robbins is 60. Rock musician Flea is 56. Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Singer John Mayer is 41. Fashion designer Donna Karan is 70. Photographer Annie Leibovitz is 69. Singer actor Sting is 67. Country singer Kelly Willis is 50. Talk-show host Kelly Ripa is 48. I still remember her as a teen in All My Children. Astronaut Mae Jemison is 62. She resigned from NASA in ‘93 to start a company researching the application of technology to daily life and holds nine honorary doctorates in science, engineering, letters, and the humanities. Country singer Alan Jackson is 60. Movie critic Richard Roeper is 59.

Rockabilly singer Wanda Jackson is 81. Queen of Rockabilly or the First Lady of Rockabilly. Actor Viggo Martensen is 60. The Lord of the Rings. Rapper Snoop Dogg is 47. My son met and got his picture made with him last month when he was in Houston for a show. Cute picture. Actress Marion Ross is 90. Happy Days. Basketball Hall of Fame Bob Knight is 78. Nicknamed ‘The General.’  Pop singer Helen Reddy is 77. I Am Woman, I Don’t Know How to Love You, Delta Dawn. Political strategist James Carville is 74. Pop singer Katy Perry is 34. Singer Ciara is 33. Rock singer Manfred Mann is 78. Blinded by the Light.

Judge Judy Sheindlin is 76. She should run for president. Actor Jeremy Miller is 42. Ben Seaver on Growing Pains. Black Panthers co-founder Bobby Seale is 82. Actor Christopher Lloyd is 80. Doc Brown in the Back to the Future. Actress Catherine Deneuve is 75. Actor Jeff Goldblum is 66. Christian singer Toby-Mac is 54. Former First-Daughter Amy Carter is 51. Rock musician Zac Hanson is 33. Hanson Brothers. Soccer great Pele is 78. Artist Peter Max is 81.


We are the people our parents warned us about. Jimmy Buffet


In 1955, Dorcas Reilly was a Campbell Soup kitchen supervisor. She has died at the age of 92. This probably doesn’t mean much to you except for the fact that she created the dish that every single one of us has eaten on Thanksgiving for as long as we can remember. Green beans and cream of mushroom soup topped with crunchy fried onions. Yep. Green Bean Casserole. That dish was among hundreds that were created during her time at Campbells (1940’s to 1988 when she retired,) but it has remained the most popular recipe to ever come out of the corporate kitchen. I’m going to make it gluten free for my son this Thanksgiving because I was able to find a can of gluten-free onion rings at Aldi and I’ll use homemade cream of mushroom soup that I have put up in the freezer that is wheat-free. I will make “good mother” points for this, I can assure you.


Found on Facebook: Didn’t win the lottery, but I did wake up in the best country in the world and that’s kind of the same thing.


When someone says they have 20/20 vision, what exactly does that mean? Well, that means you’re able to see an object at a distance of 20 ft. For someone with 20/60 vision to see clearly, they must be 20 ft. from an object that a person with normal vision can see at 60 ft. It’s not unusual for the average Major League Baseball player to have 20/12 vision. That could be one of the reasons they’re so good at aiming their bat at ball racing towards them at triple-digit speed.


While I was piddling around this week I came across a list. ‘21 Books That Everyone Should Read’. 1. War and Peace – legendary masterpiece.  2. Song of Solomon – Nobel Prize winning author.  3. The Fountainhead.  4. Ulysses.  5. The Shadow of the Wind. 6. The Lord of the Rings. 7. The Satanic Verses. 8. Don Quixote – “one of the best books of all time”.  9. The Golden Compass – fantasy tale. 10. Catch-2211. 1984.  12. The Kite Runner. 13. Little Women.  14. The Cloud Atlas. 15. The Picture of Dorian Gray 16. Lolita – funny.  17. The Help – beautiful & funny.  18. The Liar’s Club. 19. Moby-Dick20. Gravity’s Rainbow. 21. The Handmaid’s Tale.  These are just some reading ideas that will make you smarter, funnier and prettier – ok, not prettier, but definitely well-read.


It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad. Jimmy Buffett


Rowan Atkinson (63) is back in Johnny English Strikes Again. The official trailer is a hoot but maybe they’re just showing all the funny parts. “When the identity of every field agent in the UK is exposed, they have no choice but to bring Johnny out of retirement.” The British comedian say he was excited to once again play the spy who’s not as good as he thinks he is. Emma Thompson plays the prime minister.


Olympic gold medalist Mary Lou Retton and her husband of 27 years, Shannon Kelley, were recently divorced.


I was at H-E-B last night and found myself in front of the freezer section staring (again) at the frozen pizzas and wondering (again) which one was the best pizza to pick up for office lunches on the days I forget to bring my leftovers. I didn’t leave the store with a pizza.  Imagine my surprise when I opened The Chronicle this morning and saw their list of the ‘Top’ grocery store frozen pizzas. In repeating this information to you, I’m going to list just their #1 pizza choice in each of the four categories. *Classic Brands – Freschetta Naturally Rising Crust Pepperoni Pizza. *Fancy Pizzas – Bola Pizza Lamb.  *Tons of Toppings – Home Run Inn Deluxe Pizza and *Gluten-Free Pies – Against the Grain Nut-Free Pesto Pizza. Hope this helps you in your own selection. Our family favorite is still a package of Stonefire Naan bread, then we build our own with spinach, artichokes, green onions, pesto, fresh mozzarella and mushrooms.


People who think too much before they act don’t act too much. Jimmy Buffet


On October 2nd, a dwarf planet was located by astronomers far beyond Pluto. Its official name is 2015 TG387 but it earned the nickname ‘Goblin’ because it was first observed around Halloween 2015.


Book review: I just finished the 2008 book, Barbara Walters, Audition: A Memoir. She was the first woman to co-host an American news program in 1974 and in 1976 she became the first female co-anchor of a network evening news with Harry Reasoner. She fought many battles being a woman in a man’s world (when Frank McGee was host at NBC, he refused to do joint interviews with Walters unless he was given the first three questions) but she certainly paved the way for today’s women in broadcasting. It was a good read and I recommend it.


Pollinator Palooza, Butterflies & Bees, is set for Saturday November 3, from 10-4pm at Quintana Beach County Park Discovery Event Center. There will be a walk-in butterfly enclosure, crafts and activities, caterpillar & chrysalis exhibits, pollinator gardening tips, Brazoria County Beekeepers live bee hive display, local honey for sale and free milkweed seed while supplies last. 979-233-1461.


If life gives you limes, make margaritas. Jimmy Buffet


Thanks for taking the time today to pick up this paper and read this column. We appreciate it. Lisa Baker

What I Heard This Week! October 25, 2018

What I Heard This Week October 24, 2018

Remember that I know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make me dangerous.


A top Idaho wildlife official has resigned after emailing a picture of himself smiling with a family of four dead baboons propped in front of him that he had just killed during a hunting trip to Africa. I’m a firm believer that you have to eat what you kill, so do you eat baboon? The man and his wife had also killed a giraffe, a leopard, an impala, a sable antelope, a waterbuck, a kudu, a warthog, a gemsbok and an eland during their Africa trip. Hmmm.


Caroll Spinney, the actor who has played Big Bird and the lovably disgruntled Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street since 1969, is retiring after almost 50 years. Spinney says, “Playing Big Bird is one of the most joyous things of my life.” For us, too. Thank you, Mr. Spinney for giving us so many years of sweet innocence for our children and grandchildren.


Have you voted? Early voting started on 10-22 or you can vote on Election Day 11-6. Your choice.


Florida police officers recovered a stolen van filled with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. The store manager then donated the entire cargo to the officers, who ate some and handed out the rest to the homeless.


Two high school students in Sacramento, California allegedly used their grandparent’s ashes to make cookies then took them to school and passed them out to their classmates. Police are investigating the incident but say that it would not be considered poisoning because cremated human remains are not toxic. So, was it a crime? It’s just plain weird in my book. What kind of child would even think of doing this.


Disney’s new ticketing system is here. Ticket prices will vary from day to day since many factors will play into the final cost, including length of stay, Florida residency, park-hopping ability, and what month it is.


More than 225 cats were seized from a home in Spring after they were found in poor condition. Yikes, I’m not sure what that means but, 225 cats. I have two – Sully & Winnie. I can’t in my wildest dreams imagine what you would do with 225 of them. I already spend a fortune just on litter and food. Crazy.


According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, this winter will be 1 percent colder than last year. Which means more electricity, which means more $$$.


My birdfeeder has seen better days but it’s a really nice big birdfeeder so with all the recent rains, the squirrels and racoons, the folding lid fell off, so I decided to save the birdfeeder’s life. The nice people at Home Depot cut the cedar boards for me and I marched home to do the repairs, only to find that I couldn’t get my rachet screwdriver to accept a bit. I took it personally thinking I wasn’t quite smart enough or capable of working a screwdriver, so I took it to Lowe’s where I had purchased it and asked to please show me what I was doing wrong. It wasn’t me. They couldn’t get it to work either, so they gave me a brand new one, no questions asked. Many thanks to Carmen, Stephen and Angela. That’s why I always buy Kobalt now. Thanks, guys.


Join the Museum of Natural Science at The Center for the Arts and Sciences on Saturday October 27th at 11am for a slimy, wormy morning of crafts. Make an earthworm house, get an earthworm treat for the birds and maybe a pet earthworm to take home that will need no tending. Prepare to get slimed.


Prayer, the world’s greatest wireless connection.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Broadcast journalist Chris Wallace is 71. Actress singer Susan Anton is 68. “Where there’s Muriel smoke, there’s fire.” Actor Hugh Jackman is 50. Actor Adam Rich is 50. Nicholas Bradford, the youngest son on the television series Eight Is Enough. Actor Kirk Cameron is 48. Growing Pains. Actress Joan Cusack is 56. Actor Luke Perry is 52. Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is 79.  Musician Paul Simon is 77. One of our greatest songwriters and one of the best concerts I’ve ever seen. His final concert was this month and was performed very close to where he was raised in NY.

Musician Sammy Hagar is 71. Van Halen. Singer Marie Osmond is 59. Actress Kate Walsh is 51. Dr. Addison Montgomery on the ABC television dramas Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice. Actor Caleb McLaughlin is 17. Stranger Things. TV personality Arleen Sorkin is 63. Days of our Lives. Rapper Eminem is 46. I told my son recently, that years ago when I first started hearing the name Eminem, I thought they were saying M&M, like the candy. Gage laughed at me, but I can remember thinking that and it made sense to me then (and still does.)

Singer Jackson Browne is 70. TV personality Sharon Osbourne is 66. Country singer Scotty McCreery is 25. American Idol. Entertainer Ben Vereen is 72. Country singer Tanya Tucker is 60. Pro Football Hall of Fame Brett Favre is 49. Actress Angela Lansbury is 93. Actress Suzanne Somers is 72. After breast cancer and a mastectomy, Somers had non-traditional reconstruction. The way I understand it, they took fat from her stomach, took out stem cells, separated them, cleaned them, discarded weak ones, took the strong ones and put them in a small amount of her harvested fat, then injected that fat into the breast until they made it the size of her other breast; it has feeling, it’s soft, and there are no scars. Wow. I think it’s the most incredible thing to happen in breast cancer.


Peggy Sue Gerron Rackham, the Texas woman who inspired the 1958 Buddy Holly song, ‘Peggy Sue’ and ‘Peggy Sue Got Married’, has died in Lubbock at age 78. Gerron attended high school in Lubbock, Texas where she met Holly and his friends. The song was originally going to be ‘Cindy Lou’ but the drummer in the band was trying to impress Peggy Sue, so he got Holly to change the name. It must have worked because Peggy Sue married the drummer (but they later divorced.)


Autumn Barrier, the owner of Wine Revue, will be having her Second Storm Silver Linings 6th Annual Auction to raise money for breast cancer awareness on Thursday 10-25 from 7-11pm at 219 Parking Way in LJ. There will be live and silent auctions of unique “boob” art (you have to see it to understand) and handmade jewelry. If you’ve been meaning to drop by the new wine bar…aahhh, it’s a perfect time.

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.


Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams-Paisley will launch a food bank next year in Nashville. It’s their way of giving back to the town where they live, is called The Store and will be designed just like a regular supermarket. Good people doing good things.


Having just left H-E-B with three large pumpkins, I am reminded of this recipe for Pumpkin Dip. It’s simple and everyone always loves it. Take 8-ounces of softened cream cheese, 2-cups of confectioner’s sugar, 1-cup of canned pumpkin, 1-teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1-teaspoon pumpkin pie spice, ½-teaspoon of ground ginger, ½-cup heavy cream. Beat the cream cheese, heavy cream and sugar until light and creamy. Add the pumpkin and spices. Stir. Refrigerate until ready to serve with ginger snaps, graham crackers, and apples. You can add 8-ounces of Heath Toffee Bits if you want to be fancy but it’s good without it.


Hazelnut Spread M&M’s, with a chocolaty, nutty filling similar to Nutella will be on grocery shelves in April. I must be hungry because I’m only writing about food right now.


Texas singer-songwriters Robert Earl Keen and Lyle Lovett will open for country music icon George Strait during his concert-only performance on Sunday, March 17, the final night of the 2019 Rodeo. The remaining concert lineup will be announced Jan. 3, 2019 and tickets on sale Thursday, Jan. 10, 2019.


Something in House Beautiful caught my eye. Go to: TheFloralSociety.com. Enter. Go to Individual Seed Packets. They’re so pretty and very unusual. Madame Butterfly Snapdragon. Chocolate Sunflower. Zinderella Peach Zinnia, Watermelon Sweet Pea. I just can’t decide. Chocolate Sunflower for sure. And they have tutorials on flower arranging. Wish I had seen the tutorial on the boutonniere making before I made the one for my daughter’s date last year. It was beautiful, but it DID NOT even last through the picture taking. Luckily, I had a silk one already made and waiting in the car.  Just in case. Phew. Girl Scout rule. Always be prepared.


Bob Dylan performed last Sunday evening at Smart Financial Centre in Sugarland and my son wanted to go so we made sure that it happened. We were lucky to find $32 tickets because there’s no time like the present. Dylan is, of course, a huge talent, but he never even acted like he knew there was an audience sitting out there. He was dressed really cool and can now say I’ve seen Bob Dylan but other than that…


Bids will be taken online, by phone or in person beginning 11/1, should you want to own artifacts or mementos that belonged to the first human to walk on the moon, Neil Armstrong. Many pieces that went with him to the moon including bits of a wing and propeller from the 1903 Wright Brothers Flyer, his Boy Scout cap and much more. A series of auctions will end November 2019.


A 12-pound piece of the moon that fell to the Earth as a lunar meteorite and was found in a remote area of Northwest Africa last year, has sold at auction for $612,000. The meteorite is composed of six fragments that fit together like a puzzle. With this knowledge I think that Neil Armstrong may do OK with his auction.


Do you have any Christmas traditions in your family? Well, you should. Here is a tradition you can start that involves so much excitement, magic and just plain fun. Very soon, the Brazosport Center for the Arts & Sciences’ Elizabethan Madrigal Feast will transport guests to The Warwick Castle in Renaissance England aka small coastal town of Clute, Texas. As Queen Elizabeth I and her court arrive, you can bring friends and family to join the Earl of Warwick, a rag-tag cast of Shakespearean actors, dancers and singers in period costumes and enjoy a delicious three-course gourmet feast. 979-265-7661. I’ll see you there. I’ll be in the kitchen helping serve your dinner and dessert each evening. It’s a tradition in our family that if you can’t sing and dance then you better find some gloves and prepare for scullery work.


Today is the last day for one of The Source Weekly’s best. Tom Aucoin is retiring after almost 18 years with our office family. He came to work with us back in 2001 to “fill in” when we were in one of our “dire needs” and just never left. I can’t even find that he ever filled out an application, he’s just always been here – without fail. Well, except when there’s a Jimmy Buffet concert or working his fireworks stand on 4th of July or New Year’s. Every Wednesday afternoon as we finish proofing the paper, he says, “Another good week. Nice paper, girls,” then he empties a few trash cans, afterwards peeking his head around my office door and reminding me with a big smile, “Don’t forget the carrier checks.” Thank you, Tom. Thank you for helping raise my children and for being the “throw down” male in a sea of women. You better show up with iced tea for our birthday luncheons. We love you. We will miss you.

Much Ado About Nothing – Halloween

Much Ado About Nothing October 24, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

Halloween has changed a lot since I was running the neighborhood with eye holes cut out of a sheet with my brother dressed as a hobo. (Modern translation of hobo: a more delicate and antiquated word for homeless person). Now it’s a major production on both sides of the door, so it’s important to know key candy distribution guidelines. Pay attention, kids, this can be the difference between a bag of worthless suckers and a full-sized Hershey bar wrapped with a $5 bill.

Here’s how it works now. Little bitty kids who show up before it’s even dusk get fussed over because they’re beyond adorable in a costume that mom spent a month making or a month’s salary buying. They get one or two pieces of the good candy – name brand chocolate. Mom needs some kind of payback for her efforts, because, let’s face it, that’s who will eat that candy. For that matter, consider just handing her one of those single serving size bottles of cheap red wine.

As soon as it gets dark, look for elementary and middle school kids. They’re more interested in quantity than quality. Feel free to mix in filler candy like Jolly Ranchers, candy corn and those weird circus peanut things (what are those things other than nasty?) with several pieces of good candy. Remember, unless a mom finds this, it will likely live under a bed until spring.

Later in the evening, the older kids come out. You’ve got a 50/50 chance that they didn’t even bother to put on a costume. My policy is no costume = no candy. I tend to vote Republican, so there’s no free candy handout at my house. Earn your candy. You can get a cat ear headband at the dollar store. Otherwise, you better come prepared to entertain me. For what candy costs these days, I want some payback. Sing, tell a good joke. A two-minute rehearsed monologue from a recognizable playwright and I’ll empty the rest of my candy bowl into your pillowcase.

At the end of the night, if my porch light is off, I’m tired of opening my door and I’m planning to enjoy the last three KitKat bars I held back with red wine at a price point that doesn’t befit handing out for free to young mothers. So stay safe and don’t take candy from strangers.

What I Heard This Week! October 18, 2018

What I Heard This Week October 18, 2018

Funny: In Houston, a carjacker slammed a stolen Chevy Malibu into a KPRC-TV news van with a news reporter and her photographer inside on their way to cover a story. The thief said, “I’m stealing your vehicle. Get out.” About that time a pair of police officers happened by and stopped to help, thinking it was just a vehicle accident. The thief pushed one of the officers down and then dragged the other one out of the police cruiser, eventually gaining control of the officer’s patrol car which just happened to have a detained juvenile in the back seat. The thief released the16-year-old kid a few blocks away and officers found the police vehicle about an hour later, abandoned. Hmmm. I would guess the 16-year-old had quite a tale to tell the next day about how you can now treat a police officer like this and not get shot.


A terminally ill US Navy veteran was worried that his sisters might have to pay for his funeral, so he planned and executed a yard sale which also served to get rid of all his worldly possessions. He was already stressed trying to find someone to care for his family of three dogs. Two gentlemen shopping the sale listened to him talk about his treasured possessions and his disappointment with the health care system for veterans, then decided that the 2 of them were going to set up a fundraising account to help cover his funeral costs. After about a month, they were able to raise $475 from friends and relatives, then the blessing came. A local news outlet covered the story and donations started pouring in from across the country and within a few days they had more than $58,000. Since this is more than enough to cover his funeral costs. Willie Davis is starting a foundation that will help pay for funeral or burial cost of other veterans. He says that this has helped him to deal with his terminal diagnosis. “I’m dying, so I was seeking something that would give me more purpose.” What a strong man. Eyes are wet.


“History does not entrust the care of freedom to the weak or timid.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower


A friend brought okra from his garden. I cut it into pieces, added plum tomatoes and cubes of eggplant, tossed all of it with olive oil, salt and pepper, then roasted everything at 425 for about 20-25 minutes. I’m sitting at my desk eating leftovers right now. What is it about roasting vegetables that brings out all the sweetness and flavor that you didn’t know existed when you slather them in ranch dressing.


In Scotland, a 60-year-old bottle of Macallan Vlaerio Adami 1926 single malt whiskey, described as “one of the rarest and most desirable bottles ever produced” or “the Holy Grail” of the dark alcoholic spirit, sold for just over $1.1 million for a 750-milliliter bottle. No matter how much money I had available to spend on whiskey, I believe a sip (or approximately $27,000 worth) would not go down smoothly when you thought about the cost.


In case you haven’t heard, the Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry are expecting a child in the spring.


Crayola flavored candy canes come in six different fruit flavors and each one turns your mouth a different color. Let’s face it, candy canes come in so many different colors and flavors…pickle, pumpkin pie, Sriracha, Cinnabon, bubble gum, wasabi, bacon, and even molasses and gravy flavor, but now the newest flavor in holiday treats is Mac-and-Cheese. I guess this way you can have your comfort food and sweets all in one bite. If that’s the case, I’m voting for grilled cheese and tomato soup flavors.


The United States Postal Service has filed notice of a price change that will take effect next year, which includes a 5-cent increase in the price of a first-class Forever stamp, from 50-cents to 55-cents. I can hear the whining, but my opinion remains…55 cents is still a fantastic deal for getting a letter anywhere across the US. How much do you pay a month for internet and cable TV? Just saying.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor Mark Harmon is 67. International Tennis Hall of Fame Jimmy Connors is 66. Pro Football Hall of Fame Eric Dickerson is 58. Actor Keanu Reeves is 54. Actress Salma Hayek is 52. Rock musician Sam Rivers is 41. Limp Bizkit. Actress Valerie Perine is 75. Lex Luthor’s girlfriend in Superman. Actor Charlie Sheen is 53. We haven’t heard much from him lately.

Olympic gold medal snowboarder Shaun White is 32. Dance-rock musician Redfoo is 43. His dad is Berry Gordy.  Movie director Brian De Palma is 78. Scarface, Carrie, The Untouchables, Mission Impossible, The Bonfire of the Vanities. Musician composer, DJ, record producer, singer, songwriter, and photographer.  Moby is 53. Singer Harry Connick Jr. is 51. Rapper Ludacris is 41. Singer Jerry Lee Lewis is 83. The Killer’ has been described as “rock & roll’s first great wild man.” A pioneer of rock and roll and rockabilly music, Lewis made his first recordings in 1956.

Nobel Peace laureate Lech Walesa is 75. President of Poland from 1990 to 1995. Author Anne Rice is 77. Interview with the Vampire. Actress Susan Sarandon is 72. Actor Christopher Waltz is 62. Actor Liev Schreiber is 51. Rock singer Brian Johnson is 71. AC/DC. Astrophysicist author Neil deGrasse Tyson is 60. I love this man. Actress Kate Winslet is 43.

Retired South African Archbishop and Nobel Peace laureate Desmond Tutu is 87. Comedian Joy Behar is 76. Singer John Mellencamp is 67. Russian President Vladimir Putin is 66. Cellist Yo-Yo Ma is 63. Recording and TV personality Simon Cowell is 59. R&B singer Toni Braxton is 51. Rock singer musician Thom Yorke is 50. Radiohead. Actress Britt Ekland is 76. The Man with the Golden Gun. Rock singer Kevin Cronin is 67. REO SpeedWagon. Actress Elisabeth Shue is 55.


Paul Allen, the co-founder of Microsoft with his childhood friend Bill Gates and owner of the Seattle Seahawks, died in Seattle at age 65 from complications of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Over the course of several decades, Allen has given away more than $2-billion and has pledged to give away the bulk of his fortune to charity. “Those fortunate to achieve great wealth should put it to work for the good of humanity.”


The doctor that cared for David Vetter the Bubble Boy, at Texas Children’s Hospital from 1979 to 1984, has died at the age of 81.


The hotel busboy who in 1968, knelt next to wounded Robert F. Kennedy on the floor of the Ambassador Hotel in LA when he was shot in the head after his victory in the California presidential primary, has died at the age of 68. Juan Romero had stopped to shake Kennedy’s hand just moments before he was shot. He held the mortally wounded Kennedy and struggled to keep the senator’s head from hitting the floor, then placed rosary beads in Kennedy’s hands and reassured him that everything would be all right.


The upcoming movie “You Are My Friend” with Tom Hanks playing the beloved Fred Rogers, had a terrible mishap on the movie set when one of the sound crew members apparently suffering a medical emergency and fell two stories off a balcony to his death in Mount Lebanon, Pennsylvania. The movie is due for release in October 2019.


Taylor Swift is being credited with a flurry of last-minute registrations to vote after posting on Instagram that she is supporting two candidates in Tennessee and explained, “I cannot vote for someone who will NOT be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love.” Swift wrote.


A man in Michigan heard reports about meteorite pieces selling for thousands of dollars. He thought about the 23-pound rock that he had been using for a doorstop since he bought the barn in 1988 (that just happened to ‘come with’ a meteorite.) The farmer that sold him the land said that it had landed in his backyard with a big boom in the 1930’s. It is believed to be the sixth-largest meteorite found in Michigan and could be worth as much as $100,000.


Useless Information: Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous 45-second shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Psycho and the scene took seven days to shoot. Hitchcock made Psycho in B&W because he felt that it would be far scarier than in color. The sequels to Psycho were shot in color but they just never seemed to have the same effect.


If you haven’t watched The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society movie, then you need to. Just days after the end of WWII, a writer (Lily James) decides to interview members of a little book club that was organized during the German occupation on the island of Guernsey. What happens is unexpectedly touching in a sweet movie about a very ugly time in history.


Dr. Jim Allison, an immunologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center, was awarded the first Nobel Prize in medicine for ‘cancer research.’  He said, “One out of 5 cancer patients have remained alive for 10 years due to treatment related to his teams’ method of bolstering a patient’s immune system – a sharpening of the body’s natural anti-cancer defense mechanisms.” But he plans to continue his work and do more amazing things. As a person that has used immunotherapy for skin cancers, I applaud him. In fact, I think it’s more like a standing ovation.


Former first daughter, Barbara Bush (36) married her screenwriter boyfriend, Craig Louis Coyne (36) in a small wedding in Kennebunkport, Maine. Her aunt, Dorothy Bush Koch (daughter of the 41st President of the United States George H. W. Bush and former First Lady Barbara Bush, and the youngest and only female sibling of George W. Bush, the 43rd President) officiated the ceremony with only 20 family members attending. Five weeks earlier, her fiancé had popped the question in the same spot where Bush’s grandparents were engaged in 1943. Awe. Bush said that she married quickly after that because she wanted to be sure that her grandfather was there to see the celebration happen.


Former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have announced that they will start a 13-city paid appearances tour next month with tickets listed for $72 to $750. Former First Lady Michelle Obama will also be on a paid book tour starting in November with tickets from $29.50 to more than $3000.


The Women’s Lecture Luncheon Series presents three lectures each year along with a delicious lunch. Last week the speaker was Marc Lapadula who spoke on “Films that Changed America.” He said, “Whether intentionally or not, these films have brought social issues to light, affected laws, forwarded ideologies both good and bad, and generally changed the course of American history through their impact on society.” Wow, I could have listened to him all afternoon. The films he talked about were The Jazz Singer, I am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, The Graduate, The Wild Bunch, Easy Rider, Philadelphia, The Exorcist, Jaws, The China Syndrome, and Annie Hall.


Brazosport Toastmasters Club is having an Open House on October 14, 5:30 – 6:30 pm at Clute Library. Is Public speaking an important part of your job? Do you want to improve your communication skills? You should go and see what Toastmasters International is about. Info: Jdhunt1288@hotmail.com


I thought growing old would take longer. Thanks for reading this. Lisa

 

 

 

 

Much Ado About Nothing – Taco Hell

Much Ado About Nothing October 18, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

Anyone who knows me even casually knows I’m a fanatical baseball fan. So when the Astros are in the post-season, don’t bother me at game time unless there’s fire, homicide-level blood loss, or a minimum of two high-level FBI agents present. Unless you’re my dad.

Twenty minutes before the start of Game 2 of the ALCS, I’m at my dad’s house settling in for the first pitch when he tosses me the keys and says, “Run get us tacos.” Gasp! Wait! What?! Now??!! Okay, it’s his house and he is my dad. I’m going for tacos.

I hop in the Dadmobile and race to the neighborhood Taco Cabana. I hit the drive thru for four chicken tacos thinking I’m in good shape with 12 minutes until game time and only two cars ahead of me. Then I realize I’ve entered Taco Hell!!

It took only seconds to realize the car in front of me has ordered 25 different individual items all special ordered. Surely this is proof that evil is real and Satan is active in our world. Obviously, it can only be Satan, Prince of Darkness, driving the solitary car in front of me. I roll up the windows in order to scream in private.

It has gotten to the point that I could have driven myself to Mexico, executed a quickie divorce, found and married a Mexican national, had his mother make me tacos, and driven back. Faster. I was now missing the start of the game.

Okay, forget the divorce part. I could drive to Mexico, become a naturalized citizen, learned to make authentic tacos myself, and driven back. Faster. This was killing me.

Just as I’m picking up my phone to call 911 to report a gas leak inside Taco Cabana that has killed all the employees because there has been no sign of life inside for at least 15 minutes, the window opens and Satan receives his massive bag of food.  Of course, he’s paying in what must be ancient coins from Somalia’s Gubon Desert and how the heck do you make change for that? One final, cleansing scream before I pull forward.

By the time I got back, the Astros were down by 1. Yes, I won the War on Tacos, but the Astros lost the game and the next one. Somewhere Satan is laughing.

What I Heard This Week! October 11, 2018

What I Heard This Week October 11, 2018

After minor controversy, the Houston City Council voted to ban sex robot brothels. Yep, that’s a real thing, because after playing games on your phone all day long, it’s hard to have a relationship with a real person so you…never mind. The city council responded by banning people from ‘having sex with a device that resembles a human being at a sexually oriented business.’ Just think “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” in silicone. However, the company can still sell the robots for customers to use elsewhere. Sex robots can talk, blink, smile, talk about your life and you can pick up your very own for around $15,000 or less. If you’re tired of those girls ‘swiping left’ when they see you on Tinder, here’s an alternative. Technology. Hmmm.


In Phoenix recently, a man abandoned his rental car in a no-parking area which created an alert, which then caused a busy terminal to shut down for hours while a bomb squad was called in, the terminal was partially evacuated, checkpoints were closed, and more than 300 flights were delayed along with dozens of flights canceled. The lazy 29-year-old man received only a $52 parking violation and was ordered to pay $75 for the towing.  What?!? My car was towed while parked at a local ‘unnamed’ rent-a-car location while I was out of town at Thanksgiving IN ONE OF THEIR RENTAL CARS. Cost me $125 to get my car back.


Found on the internet:At last an explanation: Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.”  Whew. It’s not aging, it’s the silly doors. I don’t care if it’s true or not, I appreciate studies like this one.


I try, but sometimes I’m just not a very good friend. A few weeks ago, I told you about trying to burn my house down with a pot of garbanzo beans that I left on the stove for the afternoon. It wasn’t pretty. I mentioned that two of my friends did some “kind, friend things” to help me get the smell out of the house, so I took the opportunity to thank them in this column.  Well, I just happened to misspell BOTH their names…Debbie is Debby, and I knew that. Deborah is Debra and I KNEW THAT TOO.  So, I’m putting this out there – I can’t be trusted to even get my friends names correct anymore. This is how it starts. My house still smells like an ashtray.


Joke: My wife and I were dressed and ready to go to a party. Being responsible adults, we called an Uber so that we wouldn’t have to drive home after the party. We turned on a couple of lamps, covered our pet bird and put the cat out, then locked the back door. The Uber arrived, so we opened the front door to leave and as we walked out, the cat rushed back into the house. We couldn’t leave her in the house because in the past, she has tried to eat the parakeet, so, my wife went on out to the Uber, while I went back inside to find the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. While waiting in the car, my wife, not wanting the driver to know that the house would be empty for the evening, explained to the driver that I would be out quickly, “He’s just gone upstairs to say goodbye to his mother.”  A few minutes later, I climbed into the back seat of the Uber. “Sorry it took so long,’ I said as we drove away. ”That little sneak was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out, then she tried to take off, so I grabbed her sorry behind and wrapped her in that blue blanket of yours to keep her from scratching me, then hauled her downstairs and threw her out the back door again.” At this point, the Uber driver hit a parked car. (I thought it was funny.)


Recent Birthdays: Singer Frankie Avalon is 78. Actress Jada Pinkett Smith is 47. Singer Gloria Gaynor is 75. Walk on By.  Rock singer Chrissie Hynde is 67. The Pretenders. Actor Corbin Bernsen is 64. DJ Nina Blackwood is 66. She was the original MTV VJ. Rapper 2 Chainz is 41. Rapper Xzibit is 44. I love it when the rappers start turning 40.

Civil rights activist Reverend Jesse Jackson is 77. Basketball Hall of Fame Yao Ming is 38. When my 2 children answer me, yeah instead of yes, I always say ‘yeah (yao) is a basketball player and not an answer to my question.’ FYI, he is 7’6” and has a size 18 foot which would be 14” long.

Singer actress Jennifer Hudson is 37. Singer Gwen Stefani is 49. Comedian Chevy Chase is 75. Actress Sigourney Weaver is 69. Actor Matt Damon is 48. Singer Bruno Mars is 33. Rock n’ roll star Chubby Checker is 77. The ‘twist.’ Singer Lindsey Buckingham is 69. Best known for Fleetwood Mac before they fired him this year because he wanted a break from touring. Wait, he wrote some of their biggest hits.


The Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 which makes it 50 years old. “The film tells the story of an astronaut crew who crash-land on a strange planet in the distant future. Although the planet appears desolate at first, the surviving crew members stumble upon a society in which apes have evolved into creatures with human-like intelligence and speech. The apes have assumed the role of the dominant species and humans are mute creatures wearing animal skins.” I loved it. It was a commercial success and many sequels followed along with a TV series, a remake and a reboot series. Horseshoe Bend on the Colorado River, near Page, Arizona, was a part of the Forbidden Zone in the movie, through which Taylor, Zira, and Cornelius fled Ape City. It’s all coming back to me now. The kids and I visited Horseshoe Bend this summer on our way to Grand Canyon and found it to be an absolutely, stunningly beautiful part of our world and well worth a trip. Geez. I can sure get side-tracked.


McDonald’s is saying that most of the burgers they serve in the US (Big Mac and Quarter-Pounder) are now preservative-free to appeal to those of us that care what we put in our bodies. The Egg McMuffin and Filet-o-Fish still have artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives. For now.


“Doctor Sleep,” the movie sequel to Stephen King’s horror classic “The Shining” has begun filming on the Georgia coast. Ewan McGregor will star as the adult Danny Torrance, as a child with psychic powers in the first film. Jack Nicholson was his father and Shelly Duvall played the mother. I always think of the picture of Jack Nicholson looking through the hole in the door with that wicked smile on his face.


The handsome monarch butterflies are heading to their winter home in central Mexico. I saw the first caterpillars in my garden about a month ago, right before all the rain started. The interesting part is that migratory monarchs born in late summer are the great-great-grandchildren of adults that arrived on breeding grounds in the spring. They navigate back to Mexico along an ancestral route they have never traveled, but somehow just know the way. They begin their return journey towards breeding grounds between February and March, but few will complete the trip. They will instead breed, lay eggs on milkweed, die and leave their young to continue the journey. If monarchs fail to reach a sustainable population within the next 20 years, there is a possibility they will no longer grace Texas landscape and sky. Reason? Because of the decline of the monarch’s life-giving milkweed. Eliminate pesticides and plant milkweed in your yard. Please. If you need seeds, come by my office.


Free Astronomy Day and the BASF Planetarium at The Center for the Arts and Sciences on October 27. It is so much fun.


Maria Atkins has re-opened her Forever Treasures store after closing for a few weeks because of water damage from a silly water heater. Go shopping today and don’t forget to support our small businesses. They are the backbone of our community. 217 Parking way in Downtown LJ.


As we go to print, Hurricane Michael, a potentially catastrophic monstrous storm with winds of 155mph, is battering the Florida Panhandle with northern states bracing for the impact. Hundreds of thousands were told to evacuate but many stayed, with storm surges of up to 14ft. expected. I have heard the words, ‘global warming’, with every weather report. Isn’t it time for everyone to start doing their part to see if we can turn this climate thing around for our grandchildren. I know what some of you are thinking…what if it’s a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing? Hmmm. We need to pray for the people of Florida.


Cannabis in Coke: According to an article I found online, Coca-Cola and Canadian cannabis company Aurora Cannabis Inc. are in ‘serious talks’ about a potential marijuana-infused product. Supposedly, the focus would be on a ‘health drink designed to ease cramps and other ailments’ rather than giving consumers a buzz, or so they said.  Thinking back, I remembered hearing that Coke once contained cocaine. Ahhh. I love Google. “Coca-Cola (Coke) had cocaine in it, in varying amounts, from 1886 – 1929. At the time cocaine was legal and treated as a medicine. Coca-Cola didn’t invent using the coca plant in drinkable products (coca wine was also popular), it’s just the one product with its history and name firmly rooted in it. Today Coca-Cola uses caffeine rather than cocaine.” Hmmm.


Where does the name Coca-Cola come from? Coca-Cola refers to two original ingredients found in Coke 1. kola nuts (a source of caffeine), and 2. coca leaves. I guess Cocaine Cola didn’t have the same appeal.


Do you ever wonder how many days it is until Christmas? Not me. I’m so ‘on-tops of things’ that I just turned my income tax info over to the accountant. But, if you happen to be organized and already have your Halloween decorations displayed then perhaps you will be interested. Go to www.xmasclock.com and see the countdown clock. (ps. as of print day, it’s 74 days ‘til Christmas.) Yikes.


“Everything, Everything.” I think I enjoy the teen books because I still have a teen and it helps me see inside her head sometimes. So, the story is, a 17-year-old girl has a rare disease that causes her to stay indoors under the protection of her hermetically sealed environment.  Think ‘bubble’ girl. Her whole life is books, her mom and her nurse. One day a moving truck pulls in next door, a boy moves in and they fall in love through emails. They persevere to be a normal couple with a huge happy twist at the end. Worth a read. There was also a movie released in May, but I haven’t seen it.


Brian Casey is the new Brazosport Symphony director after a 31-year career in music at Brazoswood High School.  Talk about some exciting news. Saturday, Oct. 13th, will mark his first symphony concert called, ‘Bizet, Boots and Buckaroos’ and will feature the art of LJ native Mike Marshall. 979-265-7731.


Monsanto Company is an American agrochemical and agricultural biotechnology corporation and is a leading producer of genetically engineered (GE) seed and of the herbicide glyphosate, which is marketed under the Roundup brand. They have asked a judge to throw out a jury’s $289-million award to a former school groundskeeper who said the company’s Roundup weed killer left him dying of cancer. Lawsuits involving Roundup claim the company has failed to warn users of the increased risk of developing non-Hodgkin lymphoma and other forms of cancer.


Patience is a virtue. It’s just not one of MY virtues. Lol, thanks for reading this.

Much Ado About Nothing – Family Pet Fails

Much Ado About Nothing October 11, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

It’s been just over a year since our well-loved dog Buster chased a squirrel across the Rainbow Bridge. I guess my youngest son believes the official period of mourning should be wrapping up: I can take the sheets off the mirrors and quit wearing black wool every day. Recently, he started a not so subtle campaign for the addition to the family with a text that said, “Talk to Dad about getting a pet from the family of Mustelidae.” This wasn’t going to be good.

I’m sure the Mustelidae’s are a very nice family but maybe we just invite them for dinner first. Before I could Google mustelidae, a follow up text explained they’re ferrets, weasels and otters, oh, and honey badgers which, according to the internet, are “very dangerous and deadly to humans.” Okay, dinner is out and I’m questioning the wisdom of letting him major in marine biology.

When I pointed out that I don’t have water for an otter and my homeowner’s association surely will frown on deadly honey badgers, he pushed for the weasel. “Dangerous but not deadly to humans,” so still no.

Today’s text read, “Hey, what about getting a family tortoise. Pass it along in the family.” Nothing says let’s have a game of fetch quite like a family tortoise. But since they live for over 100 years, he says we can pass it down for generations. Which means that there will be Ciampi’s hating us into the next century. He tried pointing out, “Every normal white family has a dog, but the Ciampi legacy is a family tortoise that’s been in the family for years.” Since I’m not driving a crossover SUV or into anything pumpkin spice, I have to do something to maintain my white mom status besides asking to speak to the manager. While the tortoise is cool in a sedate, slo-mo kind of way and a much better choice than a honey badger, it’s still a no.

Son #2 is currently babysitting hissing cockroaches for his Biology lab and is smart enough not to even suggest one as a pet, so college is teaching him something. I’m not convinced there’s another good boy that could follow Buster. I’m also not convinced that Son #2 is not giving up. But before he asks, no, we’re not getting a pet giant squid.

What I Heard This Week! October 4, 2018

What I Heard This Week October 3, 2018

Arlan’s was my first stop this morning for my morning breakfast yogurt, before I sat down to finish this column.  Everyone in the checkout line was in a buzz talking about the retired Angleton man that recently won a $1-million in the Lottery. Congratulations, (said with a tad bit of envy.) We all love to play the game…’what would I do if I won the lottery.’


Seen on the internet and immediately repeated right here in this column:According to reports, a woman was hospitalized when doctors determined she had overdosed on multiple items containing toxic levels of pumpkin spice flavors and aromas. The woman was rushed to the emergency room after passersby discovered her slumped over the wheel of her minivan in a Starbucks parking lot. Witnesses say the mother of three was clutching a venti-sized pumpkin spice latte in one hand and a container of pumpkin spice creamer in the other, and there was evidence of multiple recently consumed pumpkin spice baked goods on the passenger seat and the floor. According to sources, three others who assisted the woman were also treated for secondhand exposure to the van’s potent pumpkin spice air freshener and the box of pumpkin spice potpourri candles discovered in the back seat.  “At this time of year, the public needs to be aware of the dangers,” a hospital spokesperson told reporters. “Cases of pumpkin spice overdose have nearly tripled since 2012.” According to doctors, people at risk will exhibit the following behaviors: persistent overspending on pumpkin spice infused items, seeking out increasingly intense pumpkin spice encounters, and excessively posting on social media about their latest pumpkin spice experience. The FDA plans to issue a public warning about the dangers of pumpkin spice addiction, sources confirm.’ Isn’t this cute?


Merriam-Webster announced that they added more than 300 words to the latest edition of its official Scrabble dictionary. That means twerk, emoji, facepalm (Used to display frustration, disappointment or embarrassment in an article, comment, or post from another user), ew, bizjet (airplane used for business), Zen, bitcoin, frowny, judgy, puggle (a kind of dog), yowza (approval, excitement, or enthusiasm) and sheeple (people that are easily influenced) are all official words. This may not be important information to you but those of us that play ‘Words with Friends’ are interested. Hope it helps. I’ve lost my mojo, so I need something to help me score.


Until 1949, women were only allowed in the Sazerac Bar in New Orleans on Mardi Gras Day. This changed one September afternoon when owner Seymour Weiss opened his doors to find a group of women who ‘demanded the right to a stiff drink whenever they damn well felt like it.’ Well, not really. That’s a great story but actually he had invited camera friendly “make-up” girls from Godchauz’s Department Store to pack the bar on opening day and then called it the “Storming of the Sazerac,” which continues to be celebrated every year with patrons dressing in 1940s era vintage attire. I think about this when I see all the ladies that park in front of my office on their way to visit the new Wine Revue in downtown LJ. Autumn Barrier is the owner and her theme being upscale vintage burlesque, but she will let you wear whatever you have on…within reason.

The Sazerac cocktail is a New Orleans variation of a cognac or whiskey cocktail, named for the Sazerac de Forge et Fils brand of cognac brandy that served as its original main ingredient. The drink is most traditionally a combination of cognac or rye whiskey, absinthe, Peychaud’s Bitters, and sugar, although bourbon whiskey is sometimes substituted.


Aretha Franklin was a shrewd businesswoman and demanded to be paid in cash before performing. When she died recently, she was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer, but she left no will. Under Michigan law, her four sons will equally divide their mother’s assets.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor Michael Douglas is 74. Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones is 49. Model Cheryl Tiegs is 71. Actor Mark Hamill is 67. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. Actor Will Smith is 50. Classical crossover singer Andrea Bocelli is 60. Singer musician Joan Jett is 60. Actor Scott Baio is 58. Chachi on Happy Days. Actor James Hillier is 45. The Crown. News anchor Lou Dobbs is 73. Pro football Hall of Fame Joe Greene is 72. “Mean” Joe Greene when he was playing for Pittsburgh Steelers.

Actor Kevin Sorbo is 60. Hercules. Actress Nia Vardalos is 56. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Country singer David Frizzell is 77. You’re the Reason God Made Oklahoma. Singer Olivia Newton-John is 70. Tennis player Serena Williams is 37. Actor Wilford Brimley is 84. I wonder if his wonderful moustache is insured. Singer Meat Loaf is 71. Singer Shaun Cassidy is 60. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is 46.

Rapper Lil’ Wayne is 36. Zydeco singer musician C.J. Chenier is 61. Red Hot Louisiana Band. Actress Janeane Garofalo is 54. Actress Mira Sorvino is 51. Rapper Young Jeezy is 41. Actress Hilary Duff is 31. Singer Jerry Lee Lewis is 83. Nobel Peace laureate Lech Walesa is 75. Singer Phillip Phillips is 28.


SHRIMP BOIL this weekend. Did you know that until recently, every single car raffle ticket was pulled from a hopper and placed on a board along with the ticket owner’s name. It took a really long time, but it was so exciting to see the last ticket drawn, but now they just draw the 9 runner-up’s and the car winner. Change is good. 😊 With this fundraiser, Rotarians make lots of money and then give it all back to our community, so pick up a couple of plates of fried fish, shrimp, and the fixings to help support our community. Remember that it’s in LJ now. October 7, 2018, from 11:30 – 4 p.m.


New Montessori school at Chapelwood United Methodist Church. Check it out.


When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” Henri Nouwen


The mosquito population. We spray and spray with pesticides which is so unhealthy. Why don’t we all just hang a bat house in our yard and the mosquito population would take care of itself.


In 1948, voters of BISD elected to create the Brazosport Junior College District. In 1968, Dr. J.R. Jackson served as the first president and the college opened with 879 students. In 1970, twenty-five students graduated, and the name became Brazosport College. In 1978, Dr. W.A. Bass became president until Dr. John Grable assumed the position in 1988 after serving as VP for 11 years. In 1996, Dr. Millicent Valek moved to our area and was named the new president. Under her direction the college has blossomed with The Corporate Learning Center, The Children’s Center, BASF Center for Process Technology, The Byron & Sandra Sadler Health Professions/Science Complex, Dow Academic Center, the student pavilion, library expansion, BCPC Welding Technologies Laboratory, and the Freeport LNG Crafts Academy, all successfully added to the campus. Both of my children have helped further their college education by taking dual-credit classes in high school and attending Brazosport College during summers, Christmas breaks and after high school. It is such an affordable option. We say, congratulations to Brazosport College, and all the instructors and employees. You are such a terrific friend of our community and our children.


The person that sent the following, encouraged all of us to share with friends, family and co-workers. So, grab your hanky:

“This past week I was on a four and a half hour, nonstop flight from Seattle, Washington, to Atlanta, Georgia. In all my years of traveling, I have learned that each time a plane has the opportunity to stop, there is potential for unexpected challenges. Flight delays, weather and airline crews can create unanticipated challenges on any trip. Therefore, I always try to fly nonstop between my destinations.
About an hour into this particular flight, the Captain’s voice rang over the intercom. He asked if there was a physician or nurse on the plane.  If so, he asked them to identify themselves by ringing the flight attendant call button beside their seat.  I listened carefully but heard no one ring their bell. I immediately began to wonder what was happening.
In a few minutes the Captain informed us that there was a medical emergency on board and asked again if there was a physician or a nurse who could help. When there was no response, we were told that we were going to make an emergency stop in Denver, Colorado. He apologized but told us that there would be a medical emergency team waiting to meet us at the gate and that we would probably only be delayed by about thirty minutes. Though it was necessary, we knew we would all be inconvenienced by the extra stop.
About half an hour later, we landed at Denver International Airport and the medical crew immediately came on board.   However, everything took longer than had previously been expected. An elderly gentleman, about 95 years old, had suddenly taken ill. It was not clear whether he had experienced a stroke or heart attack.
      Even after the gentleman was carried off the plane, we still sat there for quite a while. The original “short” stop turned into about an hour and a half.
When we finally pushed back from the gate and were in the air, the pilot apologized profusely for the unavoidable delay.  He said that since the stop had taken longer than expected, those passengers who needed to make connections in Atlanta would miss their flights but would automatically be booked on the next flight out.
You could almost hear the moans and groans throughout the airplane of everyone who was being inconvenienced by the unexpected stop. Then the pilot did one of the classiest things I have personally ever seen or heard anyone do. He spoke into the intercom and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I thought you might be interested in one bit of information.  The elderly gentleman who was taken off the plane was a Marine in WWII.  I am holding in my hand a copy of the Congressional Medal of Honor that was awarded to him and signed by President Harry Truman in 1945.”
The pilot went on to say, “I realize that we have all been inconvenienced today.  However, in light of the fact that this gentleman was a war hero and was inconvenienced for four years of his life in order that we might experience the freedoms that we enjoy today, I thought you all should know this.”
Immediately the airplane was filled with applause.  Everyone was cheering and so pleased to know that the gentleman had been cared for in a way that was fitting and appropriate. As we continued to fly, I thought to myself, “Isn’t that interesting? We were concerned that we were inconvenienced for a couple of hours and yet, this gentleman’s entire life was interrupted and inconvenienced for over four years while he went and fought in a war to protect the freedoms and values that we love and hold dear in this country today.”
I breathed a prayer for the gentleman and asked God to bless him for all he had done to help us understand what freedom is all about.” 


Let’s do more than say the ‘Pledge of Allegiance.’ Let’s start living it.


In closing, I just pulled up the 10-day forecast. 10% to 90% chance of rain expected every single day. Hah. So, I pulled up the 14-day-trend. Yep, rain expected every single day until October 17th. I didn’t have the nerve to click on the 3-month forecast. I would rather live dangerously and not know. Stay dry and thanks for reading this.

Much Ado About Nothing – Drug Dogs

Much Ado About Nothing October 3, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

The skies over Los Angeles have just gotten a little friendlier. Last month Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) announced you can now legally carry marijuana through the airport. While this may be good news to folks like Sir Paul McCartney who got busted for half a pound in Tokyo airport in the 80’s and actor Bill Murray who got thrown out of college in the 70’s for trying to bring nine pounds through O’Hare, not everyone is buzzing about the change, starting with how many detection canines who can look for a pink slip with their bowl of kibble.

I am not nor have I ever been a user of recreational drugs, so I could care less about the news. But I’m a sucker for a dog: stray dog, rescued dog, working dog, old dog, service dog. So I’m guessing we’re going to have a pack of well-trained pooches off the payroll now. No reason for Thor the Narcotics K9 to point out the pothead passengers if TSA starts standing for Travelers Smoking is Alright. Is there a union to speak up for dog rights? Can these dogs get an emotional support animal? Preferably not a kitten.

Before you book a ticket for the Sunshine State and pack your suitcase “with up to 28.5 grams of marijuana and 8 grams of concentrated marijuana” as allowed by California law plus three bags of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a Taco Bell Triple Double Crunch Wrap Box, remember that once you leave LAX, you’re onboard a plane subject to Federal laws which don’t feel kindly about such things. And if you land in a state that’s not so liberal on their drug laws, you may encounter some still-employed, feisty detection canines carrying a grudge about their brothers in collars that lost their jobs and want to take it out on you.

So here’s how it rolls up: you can’t really carry marijuana on the plane, can’t have it on you in a majority of airports, and cannot smoke it in LAX. I’m not totally sure then what exactly has changed other than the drug sniffing dogs are all pointing their paws at bigger prizes on the luggage carousel instead of weeding out weed. Maybe we listen to McGruff the Crime Dog and Just Say No.

What I Heard This Week! September 27, 2018

What I Heard This Week September 26, 2018

There is a new beer called Dome Faux’m. Say it slow. If you are over a certain age, you’ve already enjoyed a Dome Foam. The label say it’s presented by Moontower Sudworks x 8th Wonder Brewery and is a Throwback Cream Ale. Website says, “A tip of our hat to the foamy suds once served at the Astrodome, this Houston classic cream ale is a pre-prohibition style brew that is light, crisp and easy drinking.” Another review said, “Light-straw hue, very slight bite, with a sweet creaminess in the finish. Like the Astros, a real winner.” I picked up a 6-pack last night at H-E-B. It will be included in our next family beer tasting. Drink Local.


About 1.7-million chickens were killed as a result of the flooding from Florence as rising North Carolina rivers took over at least 60 buildings where the chickens were being raised for Sanderson Farms.


A 42-year-old woman and a 32-year-old man in Minnesota, both old enough to know better, are accused of dropping off a 5-year-old child in the woods as punishment because he wet himself. It was raining, and the young boy was wet and crying when a motorist spotted him. He told authorities he had been dropped off because he was naughty. Quit reading now if you don’t want to know my opinion. There should be two people dropped off in the middle of the woods, in the middle of the night, and in the middle of a rainstorm…soon. Real soon. There is no excuse in the world for a grown person of any age to behave this way to a 5-year-old child. Ever. A jury of my peers would agree.


Heard this week: If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. – unknown


Seventeen years ago, Wesley Ryan had to sell ‘Christine’ his 1993 Mustang GT, because his wife had just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and he needed to be able to cover medical costs. He said he knew it was the right thing to do but it still was a tough decision.  “I had to do what I had to do to support my family; that’s what you’re supposed to do to make sure they succeed.” Then, a few weeks ago, his sweet son (25) and daughter (23) put a blindfold on him and drove him to a parking lot. There, ‘Christine’ was, parked and waiting for him. Two years earlier his son had found her but couldn’t come to an agreement with the owner on a price, so when he found her again, the kids pooled their money and brought her home to their dad. His wife has been cancer-free for thirteen years. This is one heck of a good story and a great family. Bet he is one proud pappa.


According to the Brazos Mall office, a Hallmark shop plans to open right next door sometime in the next few weeks, right next door to Foot Locker. That makes me smile.


Bill Cosby was sentenced to three to ten years in prison, a $25,000 fine and is required to pay for the cost of his prosecution. The judge denied the bail request, so Cosby will be incarcerated immediately. Cosby’s publicist spoke about the sentencing, which he says followed “the most racist and sexist trial in the history of the US.” “They persecuted Jesus and look what happened. I’m not saying Mr. Cosby’s Jesus, but we know what this country has done to black men for centuries.” Hmmm. I loved the Bill Cosby that I was raised with, but I don’t think that he and Jesus belong in the same sentence.


Brazosport College is turning 50-years-old and are celebrating with a Block Party and Community Celebration on Saturday, September 29th at Dow Academic Center. There’s the Groove Gator Gallop, vendors, food trucks, Sweet Potato the clown (a crowd favorite for as long as I can remember), music, entertainment, robotics demos, GOE Motorcycle Scholarship Ride, 123 Andres Kids Band, washer tournament, and the Dirty Unkuls Free Concert. See you there!


When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the ‘many paws.’


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Singer Marc Anthony is 50. Comedian actress Amy Poehler is 47. Rapper Flo Rida is 39. Rock singer musician Nick Jonas is 26. The Jonas Brothers. Actor Jeremy Irons is 70. Celebrity chef Mario Batali is 58. Country singer Trisha Yearwood is 54. Talk show host Jimmy Fallon is 44. The Tonight Show. Actor Tommy Lee Jones is 72. Movie director Oliver Stone is 72. Actor Danny Nucci is 50. Titanic.

Cassandra Peterson is 67. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Actor Tom Hardy is 41. Inception. Britain’s Prince Harry is 34. Actress Sophia Loren is 84. TV news correspondent Deborah Roberts is 58. Singer LaMonte McLemore is 83. The Fifth Dimension. Comedian Rita Rudner is 65. Singer Julio Iglesias is 75. Rock star Bruce Springsteen is 69. Actor Jason Alexander is 59. Seinfeld.  Actor Sam Neill is 71. Jurassic Park. Actor writer director producer Tyler Perry is 49. Madea.

Former Muppeteer Kevin Clash is 58. Elmo. The talking, giggling, stuffed “Tickle Me Elmo” was certainly a favorite of my son’s when he was little. It was “the toy of the season” in 1996 and you had to do some savage things in order to find one to purchase (or steal) so it could go under the Christmas tree. Needless to say, I didn’t get caught and spent no time behind bars. Gage celebrated his 22nd birthday this week. Time passes so quickly. Happy Birthday, Gage. I love you. A lot.

Bob Segar (72-years-old) and his Silver Bullet Band have announced their “Travelin’ Man” final tour. Remember Katmandu, Night Moves, Old Time Rock and Roll, Against the Wind, Who’ll Stop the Rain.


The city of Lake Jackson is beginning plans for Phase 3 of the Downtown Revitalization project. Survey work begins immediately. Road & sidewalk construction for this project will begin summer of 2019.


Barbara Delinsky is a very popular writer of romance novels, including 19 New York Times bestsellers. I just finished ‘Escape’ which was the story of a young female New York lawyer that loves law but hates the lawyer she has become, so one day she turns off her cellphone, packs a bag, and escapes to a happy place from her past to look at her life and figure out what her right path might be. It’s more self-discovery than romance. Pretty cliché but several chapters in, I knew I had to stay to the end.  Escape. We probably all dream of doing the same thing at least once in our lives. Easy to relate to the story. I rate it a 7/10. I’m listening to The Widow now and IT IS GOOD.


Did you know that according to the American College Health Association, in 2016, 62% of college students felt “overwhelming anxiety.” As a mom of two in college, I can totally relate. Go hug a college student. I plan to.


Almost two weeks ago, I left a pot of garbanzo beans on the stove. The fire was on low, but it doesn’t take long. We left the house for gas at Bucc-ee’s, bought cat food, snuggled with two sweet little kittens at the pet store, then we picked up a car that had been in the shop in Angleton, then back to Clute to pick up bikes at the bike shop. WE WERE GONE FOR A LONG TIME. When we arrived back home the smoke was thick. I picked up what was left of the pan, set it on the garage floor where it immediately melted the rug to the bottom of the pan. What was I thinking?!? Lowe’s pulled $150 out of my wallet for an assortment of ‘stink removal’ items, none of which worked. (I now have volcanic rocks in my kitchen.) Thank goodness for friends. Deborah let me borrow her air purifier. Thank you. Debbie brought me a HUGE bag of charcoal briquets and EnviroScent Bursts. Thank you. Those are now in my AC return air. I’m running orange oil in my essential oil diffuser, have vacuumed and I’m now in the process of cleaning the windows and the walls. I will say, it is better, but it still smells like an ashtray when I walk through the door at the end of the day. Pray that no one takes away my license to cook. 😊

Much Ado About Nothing – Flu Snipers

Much Ado About Nothing September 26, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

While that first crisp morning might be the indicator that summer is finally considering releasing its sweaty, nasty, mosquito-infested hold on our lives, it also heralds the beginning of a new season. Good bye hurricane season, hello flu season. I know this because every form of pharmacy has stuck a sign out trying to lure me in for a shot. I don’t like shots. I’d rather have summer. But maybe without the mosquitoes.

What I find a little frightening are the grocery stores that want you to be “Shot While You Shop.” That’s just flat out alarming. Are they going after moving targets now? Why do I suddenly feel like big game hunting has come to town and I’m on the trophy list? Are they posting snipers in the produce department? I’m terrified now to slip in for a loaf of bread that I won’t be targeted by some half-crazed pharmacist with a quota, a blow gun and a flu shot dart. We’ve gone from gang-related drive-by shootings to viral-prevention walk-by shootings. The world has gone crazy.

Did you know that you’re even supposed to get a flu shot for your dog, too? Oh yes! If you don’t, then you’re a negligent, uncaring animal hater that could be responsible for some other dog getting a stuffy nose and watery eyes. Maybe even a low-grade fever and sneezing. Of course, if you don’t get a flu shot for your dog then you’ll get lumped into the group of people who don’t give their children vaccines which thereby endangers all of us. So maybe it’d just be easier to sneak in that flu shot when Rover gets his rabies update.

I’m all about everyone having a flu shot. And don’t bother crying at me about how the last time you had a flu shot you got the flu. You probably already had the flu when you got the shot. It takes ten days to incubate. Unless you’re a dog, then I guess it incubates in dog years or something. In the next few weeks, I’ll even man up and get one myself. What the heck, maybe I’ll get pneumonia, shingles and rabies while I’m at it. Or I’ll simply make a grocery list and wait to get picked off in the freezer section by the pharmacy flu snipers!

Much Ado About Nothing – Bugnapping

Much Ado About Nothing September 19, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

I get it that maybe you hate your job. I’ve had jobs I hated. One summer, I sold pots and pans door to door. Clarification: I went door to door but sold zero pots and pans. I hated it. When you hate your job, though, the smart thing to do is find another job and move on. I suggest professionalism in the hopes you’ll get a good reference and you never know who you’ll run into in the business world. Unless you work at the Philadelphia Insectarium and Butterfly Pavilion. Then all bets are totally off.

Last month, a group of employees at the Philly Insectarium finally got fed up with I don’t even know what. The list of things that could be horrible about working at the Philadelphia Insectarium are almost uncountable, starting with spending every day with a bunch of creepy bugs that you’re not allowed to stomp on, smash, or spray with Raid. I can only guess that the employee benefits package sucks. As if they’re going to offer medical or life insurance to people who work around deadly six-eyed sand spiders. Another day, another claim on the company policy! Employees dropping like rare, endangered, poisonous flies!

Whatever their reasons, employees started carting off boxes of bugs. More than 7,000 insects gone, including an entire colony of cockroaches, over several days. In case the staff uniforms pinned to the wall with large knives weren’t a clue to who the bugnappers were, then the fact that it was all caught on the security cameras made it a little easier to figure out. Police are currently investigating and have recovered some of the little creepy creatures at a residence. They found some bugs there, too. The rest are still unaccounted for – bugs and “buglars.”

According to statements, the haul was only valued at $40,000. Hello! You just committed a felony for a bunch of roaches that a lot of people would have paid you to take out of their apartments. It’s not like they lifted a priceless Rembrandt painting that could be sold on the black market for millions. No, we’re talking lizards, snakes, millipedes.

So maybe you get a job at the Insectarium because you’re just not the brightest firefly in the jar. This means, kids: Stay in School! Stay out of Jail! And, for now, don’t buy undocumented insects.

What I Heard This Week! September 20, 2018

What I Heard This Week September 19, 2018

Tim Conway, one of the world’s funniest people, is experiencing dementia at age 84. Conway’s daughter has gone to court in an attempt to become her father’s conservator, so she can make medical decisions for him, since her father cannot “properly provide for his personal needs for physical health, food and clothing since Conway is almost entirely unresponsive.”☹ He is now in a skilled nursing facility. Tim Conway, thank you for all the moments you forced uncontrollable laughter in our lives.


Tchotchke – chach ka, NOUN, a small object, bauble or miscellaneous item that is decorative rather than strictly functional; a trinket. Or a pretty girl or woman. “Just look at my little tchotchke growing up.”


A pair of Dorothy’s ruby slippers that were on loan to The Judy Garland museum were stolen 13-years ago but have now finally been recovered. “We are grateful to the FBI and all those that worked so hard to bring this piece of cinematic treasure out of the shadows and into the light. After all, ‘There’s no place like home,’” said Grand Rapids PD Chief Scott Johnson. The shoes are estimated to be worth between $2-million to $7-million. The museum opened in 1975 and says it has the world’s largest collection of Garland and Wizard of Oz memorabilia and is located at the house where Judy Garland lived as a child.


Police officers found two Catholic priests having sex in a Volkswagen Beetle in Miami Beach. The officers had to tap on the window to let them know that people passing by on South Beach could see them. Both priests were arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and have been relieved of their church duties.


A human case of West Nile Virus was confirmed by the Texas Department of State Health Services in a resident of Brazos County. Since the mosquitoes are carrying us away in Brazoria County, it reminds me to practice the four D’s. 1.) Drain standing water around the house, including tires, cans, flowerpots, rain gutters, buckets, wading pools, puddles, etc. Trim grass and shrubs. 2.) Wear insect repellent containing DEET. 3.) Stay indoors at dusk and dawn when mosquitoes are most active. 4.) Dress in long sleeves and pants when outdoors to prevent bites. Good luck. I have one of those machines on my back porch that attracts the mosquito with the light and then sucks him into a chamber. It seems to be doing a good job at my back door but no further than that. The word “mosquito” is Spanish for “little fly”.


Geoffrey Owens, former Cosby Show regular who played Elvin Tibideaux, the husband of the eldest daughter of Bill Cosby, was working the cash register at Trader Joe’s recently when someone photographed him, then submitted the pictures to celebrity websites. SHAME ON YOU. “I’d been teaching acting and directing for 30-plus years, but it just got to a point where it didn’t add up enough,” said Owens who has lost residual income in recent years after allegations and criminal charges against Bill Cosby prompted several networks to stop airing reruns of the sitcom. Hollywood and others ran to his defense, celebrating honest work and offering him jobs. But he is humble. “It would be lovely as one of the results of this, some doors open in terms of giving me the opportunity to audition. That, I would appreciate – always, as all actors do,” Owens said. “I don’t necessarily feel comfortable being given things as a result of this. I’m not in a position to turn things down but … I like the idea of, you know, put me in the room with everyone else and see if I’m the right one for the job.” I take this as an opportunity to remind people that their bad choices always affect every single person around them in some way.

Bill Cosby’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized recently when someone scrawled the words Serial Rapist across the star. Hmmm. I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shut when there is so much that could be said. People make choices. Choices make history.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Rock musician John McFee is 68. The Doobie Brothers. Actor Tom Wopat is 67. Luke on The Dukes of Hazzard. Actor Hugh Grant is 58. Actor Adam Sandler is 52. Model Rachel Hunter is 49. Pop-jazz singer Michael Bublé is 43. Country singer songwriter Hunter Hayes is 27. Singer Pink is 39. Actor Idris Elba is 46. Could he be our next James Bond? Senator Bernie Sanders is 77. Rapper Wiz Khalifa is 31.

Country singer David Allan Coe is 79. Comedian Jane Curtin is 71. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is 60. Country singer Mark Chesnutt is 55. Actress Barbara Bain is 87. Mission Impossible. Actress Jacqueline Bisset is 74. Singer Peter Cetera is 74. Chicago. Actress Jean Smart is 67. Designing Women. Actor Ben Savage is 38. Actor Ed Begley Jr. is 69. Country singer David Bellamy is 68. The Bellamy Brothers.

Actor Mickey Rourke is 66. Jazz musician Earl Klugh is 65. Another one of my favorites. Magician David Copperfield is 62. Actress Jennifer Tilly is 60. She is also a World Series of Poker Ladies’ Event bracelet winner which means she is a really good poker player.


German born composer Hans Zimmer is 60. Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean, Sherlock Holmes, Inception, The Dark Knight, The Lion King, The Da Vinci Code, Interstellar, Hidden Figures, The Prince of Egypt, Dunkirk, just to name a few. At our house, the kids and I play ‘what movie did this music come from?’


Neil Simon, considered the most successful American playwright of all time, died at age 91. The Odd Couple, Barefoot in the Park, Brighton Beach Memoirs, California Suite, The Goodbye Girl. He was the author of more than 30 plays and more than 20 screenplays. In 1966, he had four shows on Broadway at the same time. He said, “It’s not all about the laughter – it’s about the feelings that the audience gets.”


A mom made a deal with her 6-year-old daughter, that she could order one Barbie Doll from Amazon in exchange for some chores. Several days later the mom discovered that the daughter had gone back to the computer and ordered another $400 worth of toys. They donated the toys to a local hospital and the child is now banned from Amazon. Hmmm. Too many unanswered questions for me. Why the heck would a 6-year-old be allowed on a computer with access to Amazon, because along with access to Amazon, your kids have access to a whole lot more than that.


At Banner Desert Medical Center in Mesa, Arizona, there are 16 intensive-care-unit nurses that are pregnant and due to give birth sometime between October and February. Don’t drink the water.


The Food and Drug Administration announced that teenage use of electronic cigarettes has reached an epidemic proportion and they are now giving suppliers 60 days to prove they can keep devices out of the hands of minors.


Jimmy Buffett, the Margaritaville singer who has long been known as the King of beach bums, will license the use of his Coral Reefer brand name to medical marijuana company Surterra Wellness Inc. for a line of cannabis products including vape pens, gel caps, edibles and lotions. Buffett had reportedly been approached by other cannabis companies but chose to work with Surterra because of the firm’s focus on medicinal, rather than recreational, marijuana. Last month, Surterra announced that billionaire chewing gum heir William H. Wrigley Jr. II, known as Beau, has joined the company as chairman of the board.


More is more and less is a bore.” 96-year-old Iris Apfel, American businesswoman, interior designer and fashion icon. If you haven’t seen the documentary, ‘Iris’, then you need to. It’s a hoot. She has Ten Life Lessons which are: 1.) Don’t obsess over your age. 2.) Pick a partner who celebrates your successes. 3.) When something excites you, go for it. 4.) To stay young, you have to think young. 5.) Care about your own opinion above anyone else’s. 6.) But don’t isolate yourself, either. 7.) Money doesn’t buy success. 8.) Style is not about spending money. 9). Start new endeavors with one small step. 10.) Don’t pretend you are younger than you are.


On Fridays we close the office, so I get to listen to music. Today I am listening to Doc Severinsen with Gil & Cartas. The album is El Ritmo De La Vida. It’s a recommendation for happy music.


If you let the water run while you are brushing your teeth, then quit it. You can save a bunch of water by waiting until you rinse your toothbrush. When I was little, I can remember my grandparents filling a ‘reusable’ glass cup (not a paper or plastic cup) with water, brushing their teeth, then rinsing their mouth from the water in the cup, then swishing their toothbrush with what water was left in the cup to rinse it off. So, brushing your teeth took about 3 inches of water in a cup. If you brush your teeth, twice a day, for 2-minutes, that’s 8.8 gallons or 3,212 gallons annually that’s wasted. Enough water to fill a small pool. My grandparents also filled the sink basin with several inches of water to wash their face…yes, you reused the water in the sink to rinse your face. We are so lazy and wasteful now. Put a post-it-note on your mirror to remind you to turn off the water.


Did you know that a Redneck Margarita is tequila and Mountain Dew? Carrie Underwood sings about it on her new album, Cry Pretty.


Last week I had to put my daughter’s car into the shop. Seems ‘someone’ had driven with the emergency brake on. Tri-City Auto referred me to Moody and Sons in Angleton. It was a most pleasant experience. Nice people. Timely. Just paying it forward in a world that seems to find fault in so much.


If you have an item hanging around your living room, garage, back yard, wherever, that you wish to give away…and who doesn’t, just call our office, tell us what you have, and your ad is FREE. 979-285-9200. Yes, if you are giving it away, the ad is free. We make it so easy for you. Connie, Janice, Patricia and Pam are just sitting here waiting for your call. Think: bedspreads, coffee makers, wheelbarrows, tools, dishes, bags of clothing, BBQ grill, whatever. It’s the stuff that is taking up valuable real estate (space) at your home or office. Don’t forget that you can Read Us Online. FREE garage sale ads too.   www.TheSourceWeekly.com


An EGOT is the achievement of having won all four of the major American entertainment awards, an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. Not many people achieve this success. But last week John Legend, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyricist Tim Rice also reached EGOT status on the same evening as they were presented their missing Emmys for their work on Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert. Some of the past winners of the EGOT were actress Audrey Hepburn, director screenwriter comedian actor producer composer & songwriter Mel Brooks, actress Rita Moreno, actor James Earl Jones, actor Christopher Plummer, actress musician Barbara Streisand, actress musician Liza Minnelli,  Actress comedian Whoopi Goldberg, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, actress Helen Hayes, composer Marvin Hamlisch, songwriter Robert Lopez, singer songwriter & actor Harry Belafonte, record producer singer & film producer Quincy Jones, plus a few more.


Thank you, Mr. Castleberry for your kind words about this column but most of all, thank YOU for reading it each week.

What I Heard This Week! September 13, 2018

What I Heard This Week September 12, 2018

Hope you enjoy the few snippets below, containing news, community, entertainment and opinion about what I have heard or read this past week.


In Greensville SC, a 38-year-old man wearing a wig, makeup, women’s shoes and clothing tried to take a picture of a woman from under the stall divider of a bathroom in a convenience store. The woman saw a cellphone appear under the potty divider, called 911, police found the video, then charged him with voyeurism. That’s so weird. Of all the things to take pictures of…what! A woman going to the bathroom?!? Maybe he got all dolled up but still needed some instruction on how to tinkle like a girl.


A crack 2-miles in length has opened in the middle of the Arizona desert. Google Earth found it first in 2014. Then it grew bigger. It seems that there is a ‘dry vacuum underground that’s widening due to aquifer depletion’ which means we have sucked too much water out of the Earth. Due to the remote location, they believe that the crack is unlikely to pose a danger to anyone, but some areas are now 10-feet across and up to 25-30 feet deep. Yikes.


Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it. Right is right, even if no one is doing it.


In May, a Rhesus macaque was flown to San Antonio International Airport and while the cargo was being transported, the monkey escaped but was quickly cornered in a baggage handling area where he was sedated, and the trip continued. What a fun day for the monkey. But there is more. In April, four baboons at a San Antonio research facility rolled a 55-gallon barrel close to a wall in their open-air enclosure and then used it to climb up and over the wall. Three of them were captured within 30-minutes and the other one returned to the enclosure on his own. Don’t you wish you had been a fly on the wall when they planned that escape. All barrels have been removed from the enclosure. Ha-ha.


Speaking of The Monkee’s…I spent Friday evening with my 22-year-old son and a guy whose picture I had pasted on my wall in the early 70’s. We visited the Heights Theater to see Michael Nesmith and the First National Band. I think I’m in love again. Fifty years ago, he headed off to Nashville and the music that was produced is now recognized as the foundation of country-rock and alt-county. He is such a good songwriter, musician, funny guy plus just downright cute for a 75-year-old that had quadruple bypass surgery just a few months ago (even wiping a tear from his eyes a couple of times.) Two look-a-like sons played with him and he wore a white suit, sparkly shoes and a matching sparkly cowboy hat, not the green knitted cap that you remember. ‘Joanne’ was #21 on Billboard Top 100. I know you remember the song. ‘Her name was Joanne, and she lived in a meadow by a pond, and she touched me for a moment, with a look that spoke to me of her sweet lo-ooo-ove.’ Fun night.


Lindsay Lohan is getting a new reality show. That is exactly what the world needs right now.


Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. At the end of this day before you close your eyes, smile and be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have. Life is good.


Animal Rescue in Poland is searching for an 18-ft-long Indian Python. Her nickname is Bertha and she has been shedding her skin, so they know where she has been but NOT WHERE SHE IS, and that skin is some-kind of big and long. Indian pythons have been known to swallow a deer whole but if Bertha isn’t found before the cold Poland winter, it’s unlikely that she will survive. Residents were told to avoid walking and sleeping near the river. Ya think?!? No one. No one would have to tell me even once.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor Elliott Gould is 80. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch is 51. Actor David Soul is 75. Detective Kenneth “Hutch” Hutchinson in Starsky & Hutch. Actress Barbara Bach is 72. Former Bond girl 1977 and married to Sir Richard Starkey (Ringo) since 1981. Singer Shania Twain is 53. Actor Jack Black is 49. Singer Le Ann Rimes is 36. Actor Bill Daily is 91. Astronaut Roger Healey on I Dream of Jeannie. Cartoonist R. Crumb is 75. Fritz the Cat. Actress Peggy Lipton is 72. The Mod Squad.

Actor Timothy Bottoms is 67. Sonny Crawford in The Last Picture Show. Actress Cameron Diaz is 46. Violinist Itzhak Perlman is 73. Singer Van Morrison is 73. “Well, it’s a marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes.” One of my favorites. Actor Richard Gere is 69. He will become a new father in a few months. Rock musician Gina Schock is 61. The Go-Go’s. Singer Jose Feliciano is 73. Rock musician Joe Perry is 68. Aerosmith. Actor Colin Firth is 58. Movie director Guy Ritchie is 50. Actor Ryan Phillippe is 44.


Last year, Southwest has announced that soon they will fly to Hawaii, but a year later they are still trying to obtain ‘Federal Aviation Administration certification for extended flights over water.’ Well, I don’t know about you but seems like a good idea to me. They were quoted as saying, “No one will remember the day we started, but they will remember if we started poorly.” Thanks, SW! You are exactly right.


Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin are making a ‘9 to 5’ sequel, as the exhausted office staff of Judy, Doralee, and Violet. I’m wondering if the egotistical, arrogant, lying, sexist, Mr. Hart (Dabney Coleman) will still be working for the company. Jane Fonda was a naïve new employee who had to work because her husband had recently left her for his secretary, Dolly Parton was his mistress (at least that’s what he told the office even though she was happily married) and Lily Tomlin accidently puts rat poison in Mr. Hart’s coffee. It was really a cute movie and should be a good sequel with these three talented ladies. I bet that #MeToo movement is a part of the story. Nearly 40-years later, 9 to 5 remains one of the top grossing comedies of all time with an adjusted gross of $356-million.


Surprise. Wanda Barzee, a woman convicted of helping a former street preacher kidnap teenager, Elizabeth Smart, from her bedroom in 2002, will be freed from prison more than five years ‘earlier than expected.’ Smart says, “It is incomprehensible how someone who has not cooperated with her mental health evaluations or risk assessments and someone who did not show up to her own parole hearing can be released into our community.”  I have seen Elizabeth Smart speak about her captivity and read her book. When Smart was raped, tortured and starved, Barzee never intervened. Early release is wrong in every way. Smart is now married with two children and another on the way, is kind, gracious and has forgiven her captors. How can our judicial system let something like this happen? Barzee will be under federal supervision for five years. Tax dollars, well-spent.


Burt Reynolds died. Remember Gunsmoke, Sally Field, the mustache, the Cosmo centerfold on the bear rug, Deliverance, Semi-Tough, The Longest Yard, Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and plenty more. He was set for Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ story about the Charles Manson/Tate murders that’s due to be released July 2019. In his last appearance he was to play George Spahn, the 80-year-old nearly blind man who rented his LA ranch out to Manson, but unfortunately, Reynolds had not yet shot his scenes. He was expected to film his part at the end of September. It would have been a great part alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Luke Perry, Dakota Fanning, Al Pacino, Lena Dunham and Rumer Willis.


A South Carolina woman has been charged with murder after killing her husband by putting eye drops into his drinking water. His autopsy uncovered a high amount of tetrahydrozoline in his system, which is a chemical found in over-the-counter eye drops. The woman confessed to investigators for the alleged poisoning and has also been charged with malicious tampering with a drug product or food.


The Lake Jackson Historical Association is preparing for a fundraising event, “An Evening with Ronee Martin.” If you don’t remember, Ms. Martin appeared on Season 11 of America’s Got Talent as a wonderfully talented vocalist and songwriter. She was fabulous, so it should be a good concert. The Clarion at Brazosport College or Lake Jackson Historical Museum for tickets. September 15th. 7pm.


9/11: Seventeen years ago, at 8:45am, an American Airlines Boeing 767, loaded with 20,000 gallons of jet fuel crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center near the 80th floor of the 110-story skyscraper, killing hundreds of people and trapping hundreds more above the crash. Everyone thought it was an accident.

Then 18 minutes later, a United Airlines Boeing 767 crashed into the 60th floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center. America realizes this was no accident. The skyscrapers that were built to withstand 200mph winds and conventional fires, could not take heat generated by burning jet fuel. Almost 3000 people died in the WTC, including 343 firefighters and paramedics, 23 NY police officers, and 37 Port Authority police who were trying to save the people trapped on the floors above the crashes.

At 9:45am, American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the west side of the Pentagon killing 125 military personnel and civilians along with all 64 people aboard the plane.

A fourth plane, United Flight 93, was hijacked and crashed into a rural field in western Pennsylvania around 10:10am but because of a delay in take-off, passengers on-board learned of the horrible events in NY and Washington and tried to regain control of the plane. One of the passengers, Thomas Burnett, Jr., told his wife over the phone, “I know we’re all going to die. There’s three of us who are going to do something about it. I love you, honey.” Another passenger, Todd Beamer, was heard on an open line saying “Are you guys ready? Let’s roll.” Flight attendant, Sandy Bradshaw, called her husband and explained that she had slipped into a galley and was filling pitchers with boiling water. Her last words were “Everyone’s running to first class. I’ve got to go. Bye.” All 45 people aboard were killed. The intended target could have been the White House, the US Capitol, Presidential retreat Camp David, or several nuclear power plants along the east coast. It is believed that their acts of bravery saved the lives of many people on the ground.

The Islamic terrorists were allegedly acting in retaliation for the US involvement in the Persian Gulf War and the continued military presence in the Middle East. Of the 19 terrorists, some had taken flying lessons at US commercial flight schools. They were able to smuggle box cutters and knives through security at three airports. Because the planes were loaded with fuel, they all became guided missiles.

Osama bin Laden was killed during a raid of his compound in Pakistan by US military forces on May 2, 2011.

Continue to pray for the nearly 75,000 responders and survivors since health officials have certified more than 5,400 of them with 9/11-related cancers. Many others suffer from the same mental health problems as soldiers returning from war.


This morning I called “treat” to my kitties, I found that they had already discovered the new container of their favorite treats that were placed high, opened the bag and were sitting, looking at me like, “Been there. Done that, already.” Thanks for reading this today – Lisa

Much Ado About Nothing – Mauled by Bears

Much Ado About Nothing September 12, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

I just got back from the Emergency Room. Lots of blood, pain, and 8 stitches in my left shin from being mauled by a bear. … No, really, a bear. … Okay, a small bear. Think Paddington kind of bear. It was, after all, only 8 stitches. … No?  … Fine, the real truth is that I got mauled by the corner of the dishwasher door. The stitches are real, but the bear maybe not as much. But any good journalist will tell you, though, to never let the truth come between you and a good story. So I’m sticking with the bear.

Let’s face it, we’ve all done it. If you’ve spent any time at all in a kitchen and have experienced the posh luxury of not eating on paper plates, then you’ve probably caught your leg on the open dishwasher door at some point. And it hurts. I, however, can’t just bump my shin, mutter some form of the word poop through gritted teeth, and then move on with my life. No, I have to go full combat mode. And lose.

When the ER doc looks at your leg and says, “The dishwasher did this to you? Through your jeans? Wow. I mean, I can see your tendon” then you know you’ve pretty much done a number on your shin. At the same time you start feeling a little stupid for being so badly roughed up by a kitchen appliance. That’s why you need a bear.

I think the only thing that impressed the ER doctor more than what brought me there was how I reacted to getting it fixed. When he shot me several times in a part of my leg that is nothing but nerve endings and bear drool, I commenced with a vocabulary that would get me inducted into the Marine Corps. The guy in the next room may have needed to add heart attack to his triage notes. And the kid in the waiting room who thought he broke his arm, thought again. Pain killers should not hurt that bad.

So if anyone asks what happened, I was mauled by a bear. A Whirlpool Gold Series Bear. With delay start option. And moving forward, my trust issues include the microwave and the refrigerator. And I’m totally good with paper plates.

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