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Much Ado About Nothing – Cookie Dough

Much Ado About Nothing December 20, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

Chocolate chip cookies are my kryptonite. In keeping with the festive holiday season, though, I’m also advocating for Christmas cookies. Oh but wait, my little elves! It’s not all star shapes, colored sugar and sprinkles. It seems that every Christmas, someone has to be the Scrooge, and this year, I’m calling out the Center for Disease Control. Just this week, they released a statement pointing out the inherent dangers of eating raw cookie dough. And this, right before Christmas.  Have they no humanity?

To their credit, they’ve been right about things like polio and the whole Ebola crisis thing, so don’t just completely discount this warning. According to the CDC, the flour in those yummy bites of holiday wonderfulness is a raw agricultural product that hasn’t been treated for nasty things like E. coli. For that matter, other creepy and harmful germs and bacteria can still be in the flour that was picked up back in the field. Okay, that’s kinda gross when you think about it.

Then you add a few raw eggs to your dough, right? That’s your golden opportunity to pick up a great case of Salmonella poisoning. While I’ve always contested that I’m just one case of food poisoning away from my goal weight, I don’t think I’m in that big of a hurry to reach it, all things considered here.

The obvious way to avoid having your holiday Santa treats make you really sick or, heaven forbid, kill you, is to put the cookies in the oven before you actually eat them. I know, I know. It’s asking a lot. Who actually has the fortitude to make cookies without munching just a little bit of cookie dough pre-oven? Not me, for sure. At the same time, nothing is a bigger buzz kill to all your holiday planning and fun that having someone you love, including yourself, end up in the emergency room. And who wants to admit that they were taken down by what potentially could have been a festively frosted Rudolph cookie complete with a cinnamon red hot candy nose but was instead a small ball of raw dough?

Christmas is all about the anticipation – waiting for the birth of the Christ child, waiting for the arrival of Santa Claus, waiting to open presents. So, too, you can wait 11-13 minutes for the cookies to bake.

Whether in Washington or Houston, there seemed to be an overriding message of respect, of bipartisan patriotism, and selfless service. A message this country so desperately needs to hear right now. We can only hope that it was heard and understood by those present to hear it delivered. And perhaps we, as a country, need to raise up more 20-year olds who will put personal ambitions on hold and courageously go into battle for their country and look Death in the face for their beliefs instead of 20-year olds who have become a physical part of their parents’ couch and are offended by a cartoon father being too harsh on a make-believe animated Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

Rest well, Mr. President. Job well done, good and faithful servant.

Oh, and it’s snowing again.

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