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Much Ado About Nothing – Drug Dogs

Much Ado About Nothing October 3, 2018

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

The skies over Los Angeles have just gotten a little friendlier. Last month Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) announced you can now legally carry marijuana through the airport. While this may be good news to folks like Sir Paul McCartney who got busted for half a pound in Tokyo airport in the 80’s and actor Bill Murray who got thrown out of college in the 70’s for trying to bring nine pounds through O’Hare, not everyone is buzzing about the change, starting with how many detection canines who can look for a pink slip with their bowl of kibble.

I am not nor have I ever been a user of recreational drugs, so I could care less about the news. But I’m a sucker for a dog: stray dog, rescued dog, working dog, old dog, service dog. So I’m guessing we’re going to have a pack of well-trained pooches off the payroll now. No reason for Thor the Narcotics K9 to point out the pothead passengers if TSA starts standing for Travelers Smoking is Alright. Is there a union to speak up for dog rights? Can these dogs get an emotional support animal? Preferably not a kitten.

Before you book a ticket for the Sunshine State and pack your suitcase “with up to 28.5 grams of marijuana and 8 grams of concentrated marijuana” as allowed by California law plus three bags of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a Taco Bell Triple Double Crunch Wrap Box, remember that once you leave LAX, you’re onboard a plane subject to Federal laws which don’t feel kindly about such things. And if you land in a state that’s not so liberal on their drug laws, you may encounter some still-employed, feisty detection canines carrying a grudge about their brothers in collars that lost their jobs and want to take it out on you.

So here’s how it rolls up: you can’t really carry marijuana on the plane, can’t have it on you in a majority of airports, and cannot smoke it in LAX. I’m not totally sure then what exactly has changed other than the drug sniffing dogs are all pointing their paws at bigger prizes on the luggage carousel instead of weeding out weed. Maybe we listen to McGruff the Crime Dog and Just Say No.

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