Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Login

Much Ado About Nothing – Hacked

Much Ado About Nothing May 24, 2018

 

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

My next door neighbor got a United Nations Development Programmed grant. No really! He sent me a Facebook direct message to tell me he got $150,000.00. His exact words were, “I’m no joking or pulling legs.” Here’s where it gets really exciting: he saw my name on their lucky winner list, too, and I should contact the claiming agent RIGHT NOW to claim my lucky prize (link included). What are the chances?! I just wonder why he didn’t mention it to me 20 minutes earlier when we were chatting at the mailbox.

Needless to say, I didn’t click on the link, but I did go take a look at the profile of the “claims agent.” It was a nice touch to have pictures of money, but there was also a meme posted that wasn’t in English. A quick hop over to Google Translate to discover my agent is bilingual in Kwa, the native language of the Yoruba people in Benin, Africa. Pretty impressive for a guy who, from his profile picture, looks like Mr. White America and studied at Texas A&M. Anyway, my online conversation with my neighbor ended when I reminded him I work the US State Department. Go figure.

But wait! My luck had not run out! Two days later I got another Facebook direct message from an elderly friend who I very rarely speak to letting me know that ups had just brought him $50,000.00 and that I “needs” ups to bring it to me, too. I had to think about it for a minute before I realized that ups was not the opposite of downs but UPS, the United Parcel Service. Again, a link was shared that I could contact my agent to claim my big prize, too. Uh huh. I’ll do that, and then I’ll use my ups money to buy a unicorn.

From pictures on the internet, Benin, Africa seems to be where National Geographic goes to take pictures of topless native women with baskets on their heads. How does this country have enough broadband and electrical grid to power this kind of nefarious industry? That Benin is the birthplace of the voodoo religion may not be of any small coincidence. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to send my bank account information to Winnie Mandela.

Sponsored Links

  • What I Heard This Week! September 20, 2018

    by on September 19, 2018 - 0 Comments

    Tim Conway, one of the world’s funniest people, is experiencing dementia at age 84. Conway’s daughter has gone to court in an attempt to become her father’s conservator, so she can make medical decisions for him, since her father cannot “properly provide for his personal needs for physical health, food and clothing since Conway is […]

  • What I Heard This Week! September 13, 2018

    by on September 12, 2018 - 0 Comments

    Hope you enjoy the few snippets below, containing news, community, entertainment and opinion about what I have heard or read this past week. In Greensville SC, a 38-year-old man wearing a wig, makeup, women’s shoes and clothing tried to take a picture of a woman from under the stall divider of a bathroom in a […]

  • What I Heard This Week! August 23, 2018

    by on August 22, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The way I see it, ‘Chopped’ is a game show and a cooking show and reality television all wrapped into one. They take four pretty good chefs, give them a basketful of sometimes bizarre, unrelated ingredients that really don’t work well together at all, then ask them to prepare a fabulous dish in 20-30 minutes. […]

  • What I Heard This Week! September 6, 2018

    by on September 5, 2018 - 0 Comments

    J.J. Watt originally planned to raise $200,000 to help the rebuilding process after Harvey last year. The Houston Texan star (and clearly the ‘star’ in all our hearts) now says he has distributed the $41.6 MILLION that his foundation raised. I have goosebumps up and down my arms while typing this. The funds have already […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Mauled by Bears

    by on September 12, 2018 - 0 Comments

    I just got back from the Emergency Room. Lots of blood, pain, and 8 stitches in my left shin from being mauled by a bear. … No, really, a bear. … Okay, a small bear. Think Paddington kind of bear. It was, after all, only 8 stitches. … No?  … Fine, the real truth is […]

Recent Comments

    Archive

    Sponsored Ads

    • Ad 1
    • Ad 2
    • Ad 3
    • Ad 4

    Facebook Friends

    RSS FOX News Headlines