Baby Doc
Jean Ciampi
My youngest son turned 18 recently which means I’m off the hook for a lot of big things. If his debilitating case of senioritis keeps him from making it to his first period class enough times, the truancy officer doesn’t haul me into court now. He goes. I’m not responsible for his debts, like what he owes to Firestone for that front end alignment. (I told him if he banged that curb coming into the neighborhood enough times…). And I don’t make his doctor’s appointments anymore. However, he was still a minor when I made the appointment for his annual checkup with his favorite doctor: his pediatrician.
Because no good deed goes unpunished, he made me go to the appointment with him. There we sat in the waiting room with the fishes and dolphins painted on the walls, PBS on the television, and countless coughing, drooling, snotty, germ-infested babies and toddlers. Just me and my kid who is a full foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than me. But, I can brag in front of the other moms that my baby was the only one there with full facial hair, a driver’s license, and a constitutional right to cast a ballot. Let’s see their elementary school honor roll top that!
I realized, though, that some things will just never change. For example, while we were sitting there waiting, we suddenly hear the ear-piercing, blood-curdling screams of some poor child who had obviously just come due for some kind of booster shot. Either that he was having his fingernails ripped off with pliers. Those screams are so similar, it’s hard to distinguish which is which. Every kid in that waiting room froze, including mine. He turned his bearded man-face to me and said with an unmasked level of panic in his voice, “I don’t need shots for college, do I?!” Just when you think your baby is all grown up and gone, you realize that little boy will always be there.
We’ve always loved our pediatrician. He’s one of the Top 5 Greatest Guys Ever. So I understand not wanting to give him up. If his office accepted Medicare, my kids would probably plan to be patients there for life. Besides, you’re just never too old for a SpongeBob sticker and a Donald Duck Band-Aid.
