Tim Conway, one of the world’s funniest people, is experiencing dementia at age 84. Conway’s daughter has gone to court in an attempt to become her father’s conservator, so she can make medical decisions for him, since her father cannot “properly provide for his personal needs for physical health, food and clothing since Conway is almost entirely unresponsive.”☹ He is now in a skilled nursing facility. Tim Conway, thank you for all the moments you forced uncontrollable laughter in our lives.

Tchotchke – chach ka, NOUN, a small object, bauble or miscellaneous item that is decorative rather than strictly functional; a trinket. Or a pretty girl or woman. “Just look at my little tchotchke growing up.”

A pair of Dorothy’s ruby slippers that were on loan to The Judy Garland museum were stolen 13-years ago but have now finally been recovered. “We are grateful to the FBI and all those that worked so hard to bring this piece of cinematic treasure out of the shadows and into the light. After all, ‘There’s no place like home,’” said Grand Rapids PD Chief Scott Johnson. The shoes are estimated to be worth between $2-million to $7-million. The museum opened in 1975 and says it has the world’s largest collection of Garland and Wizard of Oz memorabilia and is located at the house where Judy Garland lived as a child.

Police officers found two Catholic priests having sex in a Volkswagen Beetle in Miami Beach. The officers had to tap on the window to let them know that people passing by on South Beach could see them. Both priests were arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and have been relieved of their church duties.

A human case of West Nile Virus was confirmed by the Texas Department of State Health Services in a resident of Brazos County. Since the mosquitoes are carrying us away in Brazoria County, it reminds me to practice the four D’s. 1.) Drain standing water around the house, including tires, cans, flowerpots, rain gutters, buckets, wading pools, puddles, etc. Trim grass and shrubs. 2.) Wear insect repellent containing DEET. 3.) Stay indoors at dusk and dawn when mosquitoes are most active. 4.) Dress in long sleeves and pants when outdoors to prevent bites. Good luck. I have one of those machines on my back porch that attracts the mosquito with the light and then sucks him into a chamber. It seems to be doing a good job at my back door but no further than that. The word “mosquito” is Spanish for “little fly”.

Geoffrey Owens, former Cosby Show regular who played Elvin Tibideaux, the husband of the eldest daughter of Bill Cosby, was working the cash register at Trader Joe’s recently when someone photographed him, then submitted the pictures to celebrity websites. SHAME ON YOU. “I’d been teaching acting and directing for 30-plus years, but it just got to a point where it didn’t add up enough,” said Owens who has lost residual income in recent years after allegations and criminal charges against Bill Cosby prompted several networks to stop airing reruns of the sitcom. Hollywood and others ran to his defense, celebrating honest work and offering him jobs. But he is humble. “It would be lovely as one of the results of this, some doors open in terms of giving me the opportunity to audition. That, I would appreciate – always, as all actors do,” Owens said. “I don’t necessarily feel comfortable being given things as a result of this. I’m not in a position to turn things down but … I like the idea of, you know, put me in the room with everyone else and see if I’m the right one for the job.” I take this as an opportunity to remind people that their bad choices always affect every single person around them in some way.

Bill Cosby’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized recently when someone scrawled the words Serial Rapist across the star. Hmmm. I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shut when there is so much that could be said. People make choices. Choices make history.

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Rock musician John McFee is 68. The Doobie Brothers. Actor Tom Wopat is 67. Luke on The Dukes of Hazzard. Actor Hugh Grant is 58. Actor Adam Sandler is 52. Model Rachel Hunter is 49. Pop-jazz singer Michael Bublé is 43. Country singer songwriter Hunter Hayes is 27. Singer Pink is 39. Actor Idris Elba is 46. Could he be our next James Bond? Senator Bernie Sanders is 77. Rapper Wiz Khalifa is 31.

Country singer David Allan Coe is 79. Comedian Jane Curtin is 71. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is 60. Country singer Mark Chesnutt is 55. Actress Barbara Bain is 87. Mission Impossible. Actress Jacqueline Bisset is 74. Singer Peter Cetera is 74. Chicago. Actress Jean Smart is 67. Designing Women. Actor Ben Savage is 38. Actor Ed Begley Jr. is 69. Country singer David Bellamy is 68. The Bellamy Brothers.

Actor Mickey Rourke is 66. Jazz musician Earl Klugh is 65. Another one of my favorites. Magician David Copperfield is 62. Actress Jennifer Tilly is 60. She is also a World Series of Poker Ladies’ Event bracelet winner which means she is a really good poker player.

German born composer Hans Zimmer is 60. Gladiator, Pirates of the Caribbean, Sherlock Holmes, Inception, The Dark Knight, The Lion King, The Da Vinci Code, Interstellar, Hidden Figures, The Prince of Egypt, Dunkirk, just to name a few. At our house, the kids and I play ‘what movie did this music come from?’

Neil Simon, considered the most successful American playwright of all time, died at age 91. The Odd Couple, Barefoot in the Park, Brighton Beach Memoirs, California Suite, The Goodbye Girl. He was the author of more than 30 plays and more than 20 screenplays. In 1966, he had four shows on Broadway at the same time. He said, “It’s not all about the laughter – it’s about the feelings that the audience gets.”

A mom made a deal with her 6-year-old daughter, that she could order one Barbie Doll from Amazon in exchange for some chores. Several days later the mom discovered that the daughter had gone back to the computer and ordered another $400 worth of toys. They donated the toys to a local hospital and the child is now banned from Amazon. Hmmm. Too many unanswered questions for me. Why the heck would a 6-year-old be allowed on a computer with access to Amazon, because along with access to Amazon, your kids have access to a whole lot more than that.

At Banner Desert Medical Center in Mesa, Arizona, there are 16 intensive-care-unit nurses that are pregnant and due to give birth sometime between October and February. Don’t drink the water.

The Food and Drug Administration announced that teenage use of electronic cigarettes has reached an epidemic proportion and they are now giving suppliers 60 days to prove they can keep devices out of the hands of minors.

Jimmy Buffett, the Margaritaville singer who has long been known as the King of beach bums, will license the use of his Coral Reefer brand name to medical marijuana company Surterra Wellness Inc. for a line of cannabis products including vape pens, gel caps, edibles and lotions. Buffett had reportedly been approached by other cannabis companies but chose to work with Surterra because of the firm’s focus on medicinal, rather than recreational, marijuana. Last month, Surterra announced that billionaire chewing gum heir William H. Wrigley Jr. II, known as Beau, has joined the company as chairman of the board.

“More is more and less is a bore.” 96-year-old Iris Apfel, American businesswoman, interior designer and fashion icon. If you haven’t seen the documentary, ‘Iris’, then you need to. It’s a hoot. She has Ten Life Lessons which are: 1.) Don’t obsess over your age. 2.) Pick a partner who celebrates your successes. 3.) When something excites you, go for it. 4.) To stay young, you have to think young. 5.) Care about your own opinion above anyone else’s. 6.) But don’t isolate yourself, either. 7.) Money doesn’t buy success. 8.) Style is not about spending money. 9). Start new endeavors with one small step. 10.) Don’t pretend you are younger than you are.

On Fridays we close the office, so I get to listen to music. Today I am listening to Doc Severinsen with Gil & Cartas. The album is El Ritmo De La Vida. It’s a recommendation for happy music.

If you let the water run while you are brushing your teeth, then quit it. You can save a bunch of water by waiting until you rinse your toothbrush. When I was little, I can remember my grandparents filling a ‘reusable’ glass cup (not a paper or plastic cup) with water, brushing their teeth, then rinsing their mouth from the water in the cup, then swishing their toothbrush with what water was left in the cup to rinse it off. So, brushing your teeth took about 3 inches of water in a cup. If you brush your teeth, twice a day, for 2-minutes, that’s 8.8 gallons or 3,212 gallons annually that’s wasted. Enough water to fill a small pool. My grandparents also filled the sink basin with several inches of water to wash their face…yes, you reused the water in the sink to rinse your face. We are so lazy and wasteful now. Put a post-it-note on your mirror to remind you to turn off the water.

Did you know that a Redneck Margarita is tequila and Mountain Dew? Carrie Underwood sings about it on her new album, Cry Pretty.

Last week I had to put my daughter’s car into the shop. Seems ‘someone’ had driven with the emergency brake on. Tri-City Auto referred me to Moody and Sons in Angleton. It was a most pleasant experience. Nice people. Timely. Just paying it forward in a world that seems to find fault in so much.

If you have an item hanging around your living room, garage, back yard, wherever, that you wish to give away…and who doesn’t, just call our office, tell us what you have, and your ad is FREE. 979-285-9200. Yes, if you are giving it away, the ad is free. We make it so easy for you. Connie, Janice, Patricia and Pam are just sitting here waiting for your call. Think: bedspreads, coffee makers, wheelbarrows, tools, dishes, bags of clothing, BBQ grill, whatever. It’s the stuff that is taking up valuable real estate (space) at your home or office. Don’t forget that you can Read Us Online. FREE garage sale ads too.   www.TheSourceWeekly.com

An EGOT is the achievement of having won all four of the major American entertainment awards, an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony. Not many people achieve this success. But last week John Legend, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyricist Tim Rice also reached EGOT status on the same evening as they were presented their missing Emmys for their work on Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert. Some of the past winners of the EGOT were actress Audrey Hepburn, director screenwriter comedian actor producer composer & songwriter Mel Brooks, actress Rita Moreno, actor James Earl Jones, actor Christopher Plummer, actress musician Barbara Streisand, actress musician Liza Minnelli,  Actress comedian Whoopi Goldberg, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, actress Helen Hayes, composer Marvin Hamlisch, songwriter Robert Lopez, singer songwriter & actor Harry Belafonte, record producer singer & film producer Quincy Jones, plus a few more.

Thank you, Mr. Castleberry for your kind words about this column but most of all, thank YOU for reading it each week.

Hope you enjoy the few snippets below, containing news, community, entertainment and opinion about what I have heard or read this past week.

In Greensville SC, a 38-year-old man wearing a wig, makeup, women’s shoes and clothing tried to take a picture of a woman from under the stall divider of a bathroom in a convenience store. The woman saw a cellphone appear under the potty divider, called 911, police found the video, then charged him with voyeurism. That’s so weird. Of all the things to take pictures of…what! A woman going to the bathroom?!? Maybe he got all dolled up but still needed some instruction on how to tinkle like a girl.

A crack 2-miles in length has opened in the middle of the Arizona desert. Google Earth found it first in 2014. Then it grew bigger. It seems that there is a ‘dry vacuum underground that’s widening due to aquifer depletion’ which means we have sucked too much water out of the Earth. Due to the remote location, they believe that the crack is unlikely to pose a danger to anyone, but some areas are now 10-feet across and up to 25-30 feet deep. Yikes.

Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it. Right is right, even if no one is doing it.

In May, a Rhesus macaque was flown to San Antonio International Airport and while the cargo was being transported, the monkey escaped but was quickly cornered in a baggage handling area where he was sedated, and the trip continued. What a fun day for the monkey. But there is more. In April, four baboons at a San Antonio research facility rolled a 55-gallon barrel close to a wall in their open-air enclosure and then used it to climb up and over the wall. Three of them were captured within 30-minutes and the other one returned to the enclosure on his own. Don’t you wish you had been a fly on the wall when they planned that escape. All barrels have been removed from the enclosure. Ha-ha.

Speaking of The Monkee’s…I spent Friday evening with my 22-year-old son and a guy whose picture I had pasted on my wall in the early 70’s. We visited the Heights Theater to see Michael Nesmith and the First National Band. I think I’m in love again. Fifty years ago, he headed off to Nashville and the music that was produced is now recognized as the foundation of country-rock and alt-county. He is such a good songwriter, musician, funny guy plus just downright cute for a 75-year-old that had quadruple bypass surgery just a few months ago (even wiping a tear from his eyes a couple of times.) Two look-a-like sons played with him and he wore a white suit, sparkly shoes and a matching sparkly cowboy hat, not the green knitted cap that you remember. ‘Joanne’ was #21 on Billboard Top 100. I know you remember the song. ‘Her name was Joanne, and she lived in a meadow by a pond, and she touched me for a moment, with a look that spoke to me of her sweet lo-ooo-ove.’ Fun night.

Lindsay Lohan is getting a new reality show. That is exactly what the world needs right now.

Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. At the end of this day before you close your eyes, smile and be at peace with where you’ve been and grateful for what you have. Life is good.

Animal Rescue in Poland is searching for an 18-ft-long Indian Python. Her nickname is Bertha and she has been shedding her skin, so they know where she has been but NOT WHERE SHE IS, and that skin is some-kind of big and long. Indian pythons have been known to swallow a deer whole but if Bertha isn’t found before the cold Poland winter, it’s unlikely that she will survive. Residents were told to avoid walking and sleeping near the river. Ya think?!? No one. No one would have to tell me even once.

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor Elliott Gould is 80. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch is 51. Actor David Soul is 75. Detective Kenneth “Hutch” Hutchinson in Starsky & Hutch. Actress Barbara Bach is 72. Former Bond girl 1977 and married to Sir Richard Starkey (Ringo) since 1981. Singer Shania Twain is 53. Actor Jack Black is 49. Singer Le Ann Rimes is 36. Actor Bill Daily is 91. Astronaut Roger Healey on I Dream of Jeannie. Cartoonist R. Crumb is 75. Fritz the Cat. Actress Peggy Lipton is 72. The Mod Squad.

Actor Timothy Bottoms is 67. Sonny Crawford in The Last Picture Show. Actress Cameron Diaz is 46. Violinist Itzhak Perlman is 73. Singer Van Morrison is 73. “Well, it’s a marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes.” One of my favorites. Actor Richard Gere is 69. He will become a new father in a few months. Rock musician Gina Schock is 61. The Go-Go’s. Singer Jose Feliciano is 73. Rock musician Joe Perry is 68. Aerosmith. Actor Colin Firth is 58. Movie director Guy Ritchie is 50. Actor Ryan Phillippe is 44.

Last year, Southwest has announced that soon they will fly to Hawaii, but a year later they are still trying to obtain ‘Federal Aviation Administration certification for extended flights over water.’ Well, I don’t know about you but seems like a good idea to me. They were quoted as saying, “No one will remember the day we started, but they will remember if we started poorly.” Thanks, SW! You are exactly right.

Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin are making a ‘9 to 5’ sequel, as the exhausted office staff of Judy, Doralee, and Violet. I’m wondering if the egotistical, arrogant, lying, sexist, Mr. Hart (Dabney Coleman) will still be working for the company. Jane Fonda was a naïve new employee who had to work because her husband had recently left her for his secretary, Dolly Parton was his mistress (at least that’s what he told the office even though she was happily married) and Lily Tomlin accidently puts rat poison in Mr. Hart’s coffee. It was really a cute movie and should be a good sequel with these three talented ladies. I bet that #MeToo movement is a part of the story. Nearly 40-years later, 9 to 5 remains one of the top grossing comedies of all time with an adjusted gross of $356-million.

Surprise. Wanda Barzee, a woman convicted of helping a former street preacher kidnap teenager, Elizabeth Smart, from her bedroom in 2002, will be freed from prison more than five years ‘earlier than expected.’ Smart says, “It is incomprehensible how someone who has not cooperated with her mental health evaluations or risk assessments and someone who did not show up to her own parole hearing can be released into our community.”  I have seen Elizabeth Smart speak about her captivity and read her book. When Smart was raped, tortured and starved, Barzee never intervened. Early release is wrong in every way. Smart is now married with two children and another on the way, is kind, gracious and has forgiven her captors. How can our judicial system let something like this happen? Barzee will be under federal supervision for five years. Tax dollars, well-spent.

Burt Reynolds died. Remember Gunsmoke, Sally Field, the mustache, the Cosmo centerfold on the bear rug, Deliverance, Semi-Tough, The Longest Yard, Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and plenty more. He was set for Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ story about the Charles Manson/Tate murders that’s due to be released July 2019. In his last appearance he was to play George Spahn, the 80-year-old nearly blind man who rented his LA ranch out to Manson, but unfortunately, Reynolds had not yet shot his scenes. He was expected to film his part at the end of September. It would have been a great part alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Luke Perry, Dakota Fanning, Al Pacino, Lena Dunham and Rumer Willis.

A South Carolina woman has been charged with murder after killing her husband by putting eye drops into his drinking water. His autopsy uncovered a high amount of tetrahydrozoline in his system, which is a chemical found in over-the-counter eye drops. The woman confessed to investigators for the alleged poisoning and has also been charged with malicious tampering with a drug product or food.

The Lake Jackson Historical Association is preparing for a fundraising event, “An Evening with Ronee Martin.” If you don’t remember, Ms. Martin appeared on Season 11 of America’s Got Talent as a wonderfully talented vocalist and songwriter. She was fabulous, so it should be a good concert. The Clarion at Brazosport College or Lake Jackson Historical Museum for tickets. September 15^th. 7pm.

9/11: Seventeen years ago, at 8:45am, an American Airlines Boeing 767, loaded with 20,000 gallons of jet fuel crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center near the 80^th floor of the 110-story skyscraper, killing hundreds of people and trapping hundreds more above the crash. Everyone thought it was an accident.

Then 18 minutes later, a United Airlines Boeing 767 crashed into the 60^th floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center. America realizes this was no accident. The skyscrapers that were built to withstand 200mph winds and conventional fires, could not take heat generated by burning jet fuel. Almost 3000 people died in the WTC, including 343 firefighters and paramedics, 23 NY police officers, and 37 Port Authority police who were trying to save the people trapped on the floors above the crashes.

At 9:45am, American Airlines Flight 77 slammed into the west side of the Pentagon killing 125 military personnel and civilians along with all 64 people aboard the plane.

A fourth plane, United Flight 93, was hijacked and crashed into a rural field in western Pennsylvania around 10:10am but because of a delay in take-off, passengers on-board learned of the horrible events in NY and Washington and tried to regain control of the plane. One of the passengers, Thomas Burnett, Jr., told his wife over the phone, “I know we’re all going to die. There’s three of us who are going to do something about it. I love you, honey.” Another passenger, Todd Beamer, was heard on an open line saying “Are you guys ready? Let’s roll.” Flight attendant, Sandy Bradshaw, called her husband and explained that she had slipped into a galley and was filling pitchers with boiling water. Her last words were “Everyone’s running to first class. I’ve got to go. Bye.” All 45 people aboard were killed. The intended target could have been the White House, the US Capitol, Presidential retreat Camp David, or several nuclear power plants along the east coast. It is believed that their acts of bravery saved the lives of many people on the ground.

The Islamic terrorists were allegedly acting in retaliation for the US involvement in the Persian Gulf War and the continued military presence in the Middle East. Of the 19 terrorists, some had taken flying lessons at US commercial flight schools. They were able to smuggle box cutters and knives through security at three airports. Because the planes were loaded with fuel, they all became guided missiles.

Osama bin Laden was killed during a raid of his compound in Pakistan by US military forces on May 2, 2011.

Continue to pray for the nearly 75,000 responders and survivors since health officials have certified more than 5,400 of them with 9/11-related cancers. Many others suffer from the same mental health problems as soldiers returning from war.

This morning I called “treat” to my kitties, I found that they had already discovered the new container of their favorite treats that were placed high, opened the bag and were sitting, looking at me like, “Been there. Done that, already.” Thanks for reading this today – Lisa