The eating/drinking season is upon us, whether you like it or not. And you know we LIKE it. My first holiday eating party is this weekend. Consumer Report says that the best time to weigh yourself is in the morning after your body has digested what you ate or drank the day before. Use your scale in the mornings, after you stop by the potty, but before you eat or drink anything. Studies also show that people that weigh themselves every day tend to adopt more healthy habits. It also forces you to be aware of the connection between your eating and your weight. Use a scale and graph paper so you can identify patterns. Be sure to place your scale on a level surface (no wobbling – no carpet) and distribute weight evenly on both feet. Now that we have this out of the way, let’s exchange holiday recipes. 😊

Boston is the #1 town where you have the best chance and are most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse attack. Perhaps Boston’s history of fighting for freedom gives them an edge, but the article gave consideration to their uneven cobblestone streets, unreliable public transportation, confusing roads and biomedical research industry, so they could save people. There were other cities named in the top ten. Salt Lake City, Columbus, Baltimore, Virginia Beach, Seattle, San Diego, Kansas City, Denver, and Indianapolis. New York City, Tampa, and L.A. were among the places least likely to survive. But no mention of Lake Jackson. We have very confusing street names – This Way, That Way. His Way. Zombies wouldn’t know where to turn. Plus, if zombies drove from the mall to the post office, Lake Road would jolt out any brains they had left. 😊

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips, but I just returned from the gas station.

Did you know that in Lake Jackson, you can (by yourself, or with a company or organization), Adopt-A-Spot, a park, a right-of-way, or even the grounds of a building, then just take an active role in the maintenance and improvement of this area. It can be for just a three-month period or a whole year. Mulch, weeding, trash, whatever the area needs. Visit tinyurl.com/KeepLakeJacksonBeautiful. I’m not an official adopter on the list, but I pick-up trash in the front of my office and those offices around me almost daily, along with the parking areas on our section of Parking Way, because people think that they can throw beer cans, wine bottles, and excessive amounts of trash EVERYWHERE. Which means, they are leaving restaurants and other establishments with cans and bottles in their hands… Hmmm.

To leave the world a little better than you found it. That’s the best a man can ever do.  Paul Auster.

A Frank Lloyd Wright house in Wisconsin, The Keland House, sold after only a month on the market. The house was built in 1954 for Karen Johnson Boyd and her husband William, the family behind the manufacturing company SC Johnson (cleaning supplies, Windex, Glade and Ziploc). It was the first time ever in 68 years that it had been listed. It sold for $1.025 million, $300,000 over the asking price. The pictures show a pretty fabulous house with almost everything original.  Wright also designed the administration building for the SC Johnson headquarters. The structure opened in 1939 in Racine, Wisconsin, and is best known for tree-shaped columns that hold up the ceiling in the Great Workroom.

Am I working from home or living at work?

Jay Leno owns about 180 vintage and exotic cars and about 160 motorcycles. Since leaving The Tonight Show he’s had a successful show series, Jay Leno’s Garage, which has run for seven seasons. The most recent episode featured President Joe Biden. Well evidently, he was working on one of his steam cars and was sprayed with gas, then a spark erupted into flames, and he is now in a burn center with third degree burns to his face and hands.

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor Estelle Parsons is 95. Best Supporting Actress for her role as Blanche Barrow in Bonnie and Clyde. Comedian Dick Smothers is 84. Smothers Brothers. Singer Norman Greenbaum is 80. Known for his 1969 song Spirit in the Sky. Model and Actor Veronica Hamel is 79. Hill Street Blues. Musician Joe Walsh is 75. Actor Bo Derek is 66. Pianist Jim Brickman is 61. Actor, playwright, director, Laurence Luckinbill is 88. Former Beatles drummer Pete Best is 81. Country singer Dierks Bentley is 47.

Actor Jamie Lee Curtis is 64. Actor Mariel Hemingway is 61. Singer Bruce Hornsby is 68. Good Morning America co-host Robin Roberts is 62. Singer-actor Miley Cyrus is 30. Actor Stanley Livingston of My Three Sons is 72. Actor Kathryn Crosby is 89. Singer Amy Grant is 62. Actor Billy Burke of Twilight films is 56. Impressionist Rich Little is 84. Singer Tina Turner is 83. Singer Jean Terrell of The Supremes is 78. Bassist John McVie of Fleetwood Mac is 77. Actor Christina Applegate is 51. She recently received her Hollywood Walk of Fame induction ceremony, with her first public appearance (cane in hand) since she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2021. She was also diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer in 2008 and underwent a double mastectomy. Christina Applegate grew up on TV. She was 3 months old for her first role on Days of Our Lives, alongside her actress mom.

Actor Michael Callan, best known for originating the role of Riff in West Side Story on Broadway, and for film roles, Gidget Goes Hawaiian, The Interns and Cat Ballou, died at 86. He was quite beautiful.

The Days of our Lives star, John Aniston, father of Jennifer Aniston, died at 89. Actually, he appeared as Victor Kiriakis in 2,888 episodes of Days of our Lives during his career, along with roles in many other popular series including Gilmore Girls, Mad Men, The West Wing and That Girl.

Kevin Conroy, the voice of animated Batman, died at 66. He said, “Batman… He’s a complicated guy, and that voice can’t be just a quirky voice that you as an actor put on. It’s a state of mind that you have to get into because that voice comes from such a deep well of pain. If you don’t really do it genuinely, it sounds artificial. It sounds like you’re just putting on a funny voice. You really need to invest it with a lot of emotion and a lot of back stories.”

Leo Gallagher, the watermelon-smashing prop comic known as Gallagher, died at 76. He became a hit with his stand-up comedy special called An Uncensored Evening, which was actually directed by Mike Nesmith of The Monkees. Remember the hand-made sledgehammer called the Sledge-O-Matic where he would smash food onstage, where it would spray into the audience? He says he had 200 shows a year for 35 years and he used about nine watermelons a show, so that’s 63,000 watermelons. That was a mess that I never understood. According to Wikipedia, in the 1980s, researchers at Loma Linda University used Gallagher’s comedy to study laughter’s effect on the body. Taking blood samples from ten medical students while they watched Gallagher in action, the researchers observed the subjects’ white blood cells increasing. The scientists said that laughing appeared to have boosted their immune systems.

Noble Lordes and Faire Ladyes. Let us spark your imagination. Join Ambrose Dudley, Earl of Warwick, Knight of the Garter, for a most joyous Elizabethan Madrigal Feast 2022, in celebration of Christmas, in honor of her most gracious Majesty the Queen, at Warwick Castle. An evening of 16^th century Renaissance entertainment, along with sumptuous dinner and dessert. bcfas.org/emf or 979-265-7661 or in person. You better hurry. It’s such a great way to start the holiday season.

Superfans. The Cleveland property that served as the childhood home of Ralphie Parker and his family in the 1983 holiday classic, A Christmas Story, is for sale. Also included is the Bumpus house (fictional home to Ralphie’s hillbilly neighbors where the 785 smelly hound dogs lived, famous for stealing the Christmas turkey) where you can now spend the night, a museum and gift shop, and detached garage which is home to a 1939 Ford LaFrance firetruck just like the one in the movie. Everything considered, there are five buildings on seven parcels of land on 1.3 acres. I heard on the radio that there are also 3 parking lots. If you’re interested, just look for the leg lamp in the window. No price given, but 75,000 people per year now visit the museum, so it’s profitable. forsale@achristmasstoryhouse.com.

I bought a chicken from one website, and an egg from another… I’ll let you know.

If you are older than nine, you remember at least one of the Kia Soul Hamster commercials. There were so many, and every single one was cute. Many of the commercials had the clever little rodents bopping their tiny heads to the music, while cruising the streets, dancing, or playing in a band while their friends were still full steam ahead going nowhere on giant hamster wheels. It’s the sort of thing that just brings a huge smile to my face when I watch them. In fact, if you need a grin just Google Kia Soul Hamster commercials and just spend 3 minutes. I promise a smile. Try New Kia Turbo Arrives hamster commercial. OK now, where was I? Oh yes. It’s coming back to me. Scientists have discovered that rats really do have the human skill to move to a musical beat. Ten rats were fitted with wireless accelerometers (a device that measures vibration or acceleration of motion of a structure) so they could measure rat head movement, along with 20 human volunteers. The study focused mainly on responses to K. 448 by Mozart, but four other musical pieces were played for the rodent volunteers.  Lady Gaga – Born This Way, Queen – Another One Bites the Dust, Michael Jackson – Beat It, and Maroon 5 – Sugar. The results showed both the rat and human participants had optimal beat synchronicity when the music was in the 120–140 beats per minute range – close to Mozart’s composition’s original 132bpm tempo. Researchers found both rats and humans jerked their heads to the beat in a similar rhythm. So, I see it as if the hamsters had knowledge of this first and made truckloads of money from it. The rats are to this day, still in cages, with little boxes on their heads. Hmmm. I know there’s another story here.

If you’re in my car, don’t disrespect me by trying to sing lead. It’s my car. You’re automatically a backup singer. Facebook

Google has agreed to pay nearly $392 million in a settlement with 40 states over allegations that the company secretly tracked people through their devices, even when location tracking had been turned off then offered the data to advertisers. What?!? Google said that the practices outlined in the lawsuit are old and have since been revamped. Oh, good. That makes it better. ☹

My life is a series of obstacles preventing me from reading a book.

When it rains downtown, we have a river in front of the office. It’s terrible. I’m sitting here with socks on, and my feet on a towel because my shoes are just soaked. Customers have been graciously making the trek inside all day and it’s so much fun to hear what they have to say when they bust through the front door, soaking wet. “They need to do something about that water.” Yes, we know. Take it up with the city. We have been hearing that for over twenty years. Some customers park and re-park, trying to find just the right spot for their cars so they can position themselves without having to step into the Parking Way River. That spot does not exist. Thank-you, customers! We love you. Please sell something.

LISA

Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com

When we were kids, we all joked about the dog eating our homework. It seemed funny then. Some of us may have even tried that theory as adults, except now we can blame Alexa for giving us the wrong answers. Sunday evening when I left the office, I was about halfway finished writing this column. I headed for home because it was after 8pm, dark outside (daylight saving time over) and terribly deserted downtown. I had also been cleaning here, so I grabbed my vacuum cleaner, my dog, and I left; very satisfied that I would have time to finish the column on Monday and have it ready for sending it back to Tina. Actually, it was a super good feeling because I had several other things I needed to work on. I arrived here Monday morning to find that my computer had gotten tired, shut itself off and had not saved the document. Column could not be found. Not trusting myself, I encouraged Tina, who is way smarter about things like this, to come and search for me. So, at 4:19 on Monday afternoon, I am telling you that the dog ate my homework. Shame on you, Teller. Let’s see if I can pull together some trivial fluff and useless information for your reading pleasure and hope you might consider it worthwhile, if not I get another chance next week. That’s the nicest part about a newspaper. You always get another chance next week. You know, sometimes you are the cat and sometimes you are the hairball.

Happy 247^th Birthday to the United States Marine Corps. To put this into perspective, the United States of America turned 246 years old on July 4^th, 2022, of this year.

You recognize the little Parade magazine that is inserted into newspapers each week. I pulled mine out of The Chronicle on Sunday and read all about Hugh Jackman, but my eye was drawn to the corner of the page. It was a notification that their next paper edition (November 13) will be their final print edition but noted there will still be an easy-to-read digital format of Parade available. Easy-to-read digital format. Aaugh. The end of an era. I understand how and why, but I still love holding a piece of paper in my hand. Obviously. Oh, it also said that Hugh Jackman has a new movie out with limited release November 11th, The Son, about a father juggling his job, romantic partner, new baby, and teenage son who’s come to live with them. You know, sounds like a story about real life. I really do like Hugh Jackman. I was fortunate to see him in New York at the Circle in the Square when he starred in The River, which was wonderful. He owns a line of coffees and coffee shops in NY called Laughing Man Coffee, where he donates his proceeds to needy kids. The article said he worked as a gym teacher and birthday party entertainer before his career took off. He was Coco the Clown. There was more, but you’ll just have to look it up on their easy-to-read digital format. ☹

Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.  Abraham Lincoln (National Union Party)

A group of researchers recently injected two human volunteers with about two spoonsful of blood that was grown entirely in a laboratory setting. This is a first. After four months, the volunteers will receive another injection, this time of donated, natural human blood. If the volunteers don’t reject the artificial donation, it could be a pivotal moment, allowing for an opportunity to increase supplies of previously ultra-rare, hard to find blood types, and perhaps one day for smaller full transfusions.  I wasn’t aware that when astronauts return from space, they are treated like a person coming back with an injury because they all are anemic. Anemia happens when the body lacks enough red blood cells to carry oxygen to the body’s tissues. A healthy adult human body has about 35 trillion red blood cells, with at least 2 million destroyed every second. In space, about 3 million red blood cells are destroyed every second, causing astronauts to lose about 54% more blood cells than on Earth. There you go.

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Country singer-songwriter Ray Wylie Hubbard is 76. Actor Whoopi Goldberg is 67. Actor Gerard Butler is 53. Guitarist James Young of Styx is 73. Musician Stephen Bishop is 71. His biggest hits include On and On, It Might Be You, and Save It for a Rainy Day. Pianist Yanni is 68. Rapper Reverend Run of Run-DMC is 58. British Pop Singer Petula Clark is 90. Downtown, Don’t Sleep on the Subway Baby. Actor Sam Waterston of Grace and Frankie & Law and Order is 82. Singer Anni-Frid Lyngstad of ABBA is 77. Actor Beverly D’Angelo of National Lampoon’s Vacation is 71. Bandleader Kevin Eubanks of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno is 65. Jazz singer Diana Krall is 58. Singer Gordon Lightfoot is 84. Singer-songwriter Bob Gaudio of The Four Seasons is 81. Movie director Martin Scorsese is 80. Actor & Model Lauren Hutton is 79. Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels is 78.

Entertainer RuPaul is 62. Actor-director Danny DeVito is 78. Musician Joey Williams of The Blind Boys of Alabama is 60. Actor-model Daisy Fuentes is 56. Actor Brenda Vaccaro is 83. Before Michael Douglas married Catherine Zeta-Jones in 2000, he had a “hippie wedding” with Brenda Vaccaro. Actor Linda Evans of Dynasty is 80. Country singer Jacky Ward is 76. Fools Fall in Love. Actor Jameson Parker of Simon and Simon is 75. Singer Graham Parker is 72. Actor Owen Wilson is 54. Talk show host Dick Cavett is 86. Media mogul Ted Turner is 84. Fashion designer Calvin Klein is 80. Sportscaster Ahmad Rashad is 73. Journalist Ann Curry is 66. Actor Meg Ryan is 61. Actor Jodie Foster is 60.

Dida, Africa’s largest female tusker elephant has died, believed to be between 60 and 65 years old. Dida was considered the matriarch of Tsavo East National Park in Kenya. Tusker elephants have tusks so large and long they scrape the ground, and tusks are especially unusual for the females.  There are only about 25 or so tusker elephants left in the world.

Dan McCafferty, original and longtime lead singer for the Scottish hard rock band Nazareth died at 76.  English actor Leslie Phillips, known for many roles including voicing, with wit and style, the Sorting Hat in the Harry Potter series, died at 98. Pop star and actor Aaron Carter, known for songs including Aaron’s Party and That’s How I Beat Shaq, died at 34. He was the brother of Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys and was just nine years old when he began performing professionally, singing as an opening act for his brother’s group. Ray Guy, legendry Hall of Fame punter for Oakland and LA Raiders, died at 72. Many consider him to be the greatest punter in NFL history.

Andrew Prine, character actor known especially for Westerns, died at 86. He was Helen Keller’s brother in The Miracle Worker in 1962, Richard Kimble’s brother on The Fugitive, and appeared in more than 80 Western TV shows and movies like Bandolero and Chisum. (He was quite handsome too.) Daniel Smith, American civil rights activist and believed to be the last living child of a formerly enslaved American, died at 90. When Smith was born in 1932, his father was about 70 years old and had been born into slavery in 1862 or 1863. Smith jokingly called himself the Black Forrest Gump, since he was present at so many key historical moments during his lifetime. Patrick Haggerty, singer, and guitarist recruited friends to form the band Lavender Country in 1973. The band is believed to be the first openly gay country music band. He suffered a stroke and died at 78. “I am, at this point, a country music item of note,” Haggerty said. “I never dreamt that would happen, but it did. And I don’t have to make any compromises. I get to be the socialist loudmouth that I am and have a career in country music, too. And it doesn’t get better than that, man.”

A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.  Theodore Roosevelt (Republican turned Progressive)

Texas A&M allegedly suspended three freshmen members of the football team indefinitely because of a post-game locker room incident following the Aggies’ 30-24 loss to South Carolina Gamecocks. I can’t seem to find what happened in the locker room (details for incident still unclear…) but good job to the coach. Consequences. There’s not enough of them in the world right now. Fisher said that they keep all details in-house and internal. It will come out.

Your morning cup of coffee may be linked to a lower mortality risk according to a recent study. It did not elaborate on cup size and the use of artificial sweeteners (remember a level teaspoon of REAL sugar has only 4 grams of sugar in it) or let’s say, if your morning coffee just happens to be a tall Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks with 34 grams of sugar. Common sense. Since everything seems to be open to interpretation now, please remember that Mary Poppins may be wrong.

To win the people, always cook them some savoury that pleases them. Aristophanes, The Knights

Have you ever been to IKEA? It is an experience not easy to explain… a pretty amazing place and the Swedish meatballs are delicious. Last night I started watching a documentary about IKEA. It’s pretty interesting, especially with my daughter having an Industrial Design degree. (But the real reason I started watching it was because I fall asleep when I get in bed, and I figured it would be easy to go back and catch up on what I miss when I snooze.) They were discussing sustainability, so I Googled IKEA and up popped this story. Over the course of one year, a former marketing guy managed to film 7 episodes of a soap opera spoof at IKEA, and no one noticed until the parody of generic daytime soaps called IKEA Heights aired. Each episode was only about five minutes, but still. It has ridiculous romance, drama, an amnesia plotline, and an occasional murder. So, if you have an extra 35 minutes in your life, you can binge-watch it online according to the internet.

Voting is not a right. It is a method used to determine which politician was most able to brainwash you. Dennis E. Adonis

How I spend my time since my children left for college. My cats know how to sit for a treat. My kids said that you can’t teach a cat to sit, but I did. Three cats. Three times. Then Teller came into my life. Every morning I get down on the floor in my pajamas and set out three different cans of dog food in a line, then I call Teller to come. I have worked so hard to teach him how to pick the can of food that he wants to eat. I use the word paw, then I place his paw on a can, and get all excited like he picked it himself, then he gets confused and tries to shake my hand. We go at this 4-5 times. A day. He’s so cute, but every morning I’m discouraged that he just doesn’t get it. But I keep trying. Today Teller got it! I set out the cans and asked him which one he wanted, and he put his paw on one. First time. I was so excited, we danced around the kitchen telling him how great he is. So, then I sent my kids a text.
It said: “FYI. This morning, Teller picked the can of dog food he wanted. Yeahhhhhh. I have been working so hard on teaching him this trick. I’m so proud of him.”
Anne Elisabeth responded but it was about his nose freckle, so she was unimpressed. I could see her rolling her eyes. Gage did not and has not responded yet. I’m thinking, obviously, I’m going to have to be more impressive with my words, so I say:
“I would let you talk to him but he’s busy looking at college handbooks right now. He says his next step in education needs to be something besides home schooling.”
No response at all.
So, then I say: “Oh, goodness. He just asked me how to spell university.”
I’m still waiting for a response. It’s just so hard to impress these kids lately. Have a great weekend!
LISA

Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com