You won’t believe this, but there is an online Coronavirus Toilet-Paper Calculator. With store shelves empty or running out due to hoarding, I bet you’ll be glad to hear how long a roll will last. My Kirkland Signature Bath Tissue has 425 sheets per roll (it’s 2-plyY), so a single roll of toilet paper with 6 toilet visits per day should last me about 18 days and that’s 129% of a 14-day quarantine. Yes, I know a lot depends on the brand of toilet paper – Luycx Plumbing suggests Scott and it lasts a lot longer than say, Angel Soft or Cottenelle, but this is fun to talk about and we need more fun in our lives right now. So, the lady next to you with 48 rolls in her basket could and should have enough toilet paper to last her two-and-half years. The advanced options on the calculator also give you options of average number of wipes, sheets per wipe, sheets on the roll, number of people in the household and the number of days left in quarantine, but does not take into account different amount of use per person. I’ve looked at the word toilet so many times, now it doesn’t look like I spelled it right.
Two full-time professional violinists in the U.S. had a genius, lighthearted response to the hoarding of toilet paper. Straight-faced and wearing life jackets, they went to an empty toilet paper aisle in LA and serenaded the ransacked shelves with the tune of Nearer, My God, To Thee, the piece the ship bandmaster plays as the Titanic sinks in the 1997 movie classic.
This is a text I received during our first stay-at-home weekend: The truth is, it’s not so boring at home. But it’s interesting how one bag of rice has 7,456 grains and another bag – 7,489. 😊
A grocery store in Denmark got tired of people hoarding hand sanitizer so they came up with a perfect idea. They charge $4.09 for one bottle…but if you want two bottles it will cost you $95. Way to go.
YOU: “Siri, I’m sad.” SIRI: It’s OK to cry if you want to. My aluminosilicate glass surface is tear resistant.
Neil Diamond (79) started his Twitter post with, “Hi, everybody, this is Neil Diamond and I know we’re all going through a rough time right now, but I love ya’ and I think maybe if we sing together, well, we’ll just feel a little better. Give it a try, OK?” He started singing, “Where it began, I can’t begin to knowing, but then I know it’s growing strong. Was in the spring, and spring became the summer, who’d have believed you’d come along. Hands, washing hands, reaching out, don’t touch me, I won’t touch you! Sweet Caroline, good times never seemed so good. I’ve been inclined, to believe they never would, but now I… look at the night, and it don’t seem so lonely, we filled it up with only two. And when I hurt, hurting runs off my shoulders, how can I hurt when holding you? Hands, washing hands…” Pull up the video. It’s great. Just him and his dog. He was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
Thank you to the reader that called in today and ‘ever-so-nicely’ asked if we could please make the font size on this column a tad bit bigger. This past week Tina had the column set but I wanted to get in one more, tiny bit of information about local stores setting aside an hour each morning for just senior citizens to shop. This was important and you needed to know, so she shrunk everything a little to get it in. Sorry. There’s just so much that I want to tell you and so little space, but Tina made it work just perfect. 😊 And while on this touchy subject (get it, touchy subject?), if you order online at Target, you can drive up and they will deliver to your car or you can pick it up right inside the door. Special thanks to Pat Orrick for reading this column twice each week. That’s a feelgood. Thank you to Luycx Plumbing and Randall for the quick fix on our office kitchen sink water leak. Ted for fixing our microwave problem. It’s so nice to be able to cook on high now. Mary, for the beautiful flowers for no reason. Sorry the cats broke the vase. Thank you, Mrs. Pugh for the kind words about this column and our paper.
RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Record producer, multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, composer, arranger, film, television producer and Grammy legend Quincy Jones is 87. 80 Grammy Award nominations, 28 Grammys. Actress singer Season Hubley is 69. (remember her?) Actor William H. Macy is 70. American-Spanish actor Charo is 69. American politician Mitt Romney is 73. Singer actress Liza Minnelli is 74. Singer songwriter James Taylor is 72. My son brought home speakers from college and ‘made’ me sit down last night and listen to JT. Oh-my-gosh you forget how perfectly wonderful his music is. Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch is 89. He married Jerry Hall in 2016. Actor, voice artist, comedian, singer, writer, producer, director, and television host Billy Crystal is 72.
Former Senator James L. Buckley of N.Y. is 97. Actor Michael Caine is 87. Actor Michael Warren is 74. Former college basketball player, best known for playing Officer Bobby Hill on Hill Street Blues. Singer Lloyd Price is 87. American R&B vocalist, known as “Mr. Personality”, after his 1959 million-selling hit, “Personality”. His first recording, “Lawdy, Miss Clawdy”, was a hit in 1952. Composer John Kander is 93. Wrote the scores for 15 musicals, including Cabaret and Chicago. Country singer Charley Pride is 86. Singer actress Vanessa L. Williams is 57. Rapper actress Queen Latifah is 50. Songwriter Chip Taylor is 80. Wild Thing. Actor Matthew Broderick is 58. Actress Kathleen Widdoes is 81. Emma Snyder in As the World Turns. Producer director comedian Carl Reiner is 98. Actor William Hurt is 70. Movie director Spike Lee is 63.
When I read that Lyle Waggoner, heartthrob of The Carol Burnett Show and Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter), had died at 84, I told a lot of people. Well, a lot of women, because all females remember him as so stinking good looking. He was funny too. Some of those skits with Carol Burnett are just priceless. Yes, I pulled up a couple and went down that rabbit hole.
The ladies in the office were talking about gas stations enduring theft of hand sanitizers, paper towels and toilet paper from their restrooms and people even taking grocery store wipes at the front entrances intended for sanitizing the baskets. Last month in Hong Kong, someone stole six-hundred rolls of toilet paper at gunpoint. (According to my TP calculator, that would last me a little over 29 years. ha-ha.) In North Carolina, a truck that had been reported stolen, was recovered and found filled with 18,000 pounds of toilet paper and other commercial paper products. Police are investigating but would not release the driver’s name, since the issue of toilet paper supply is “fairly sensitive right now.”
LOVED THIS ONE. Another text that I received during this crazy time: Getting really tired of babysitting my mom’s grandkids right now.
A friend posted to Facebook, a picture of a post-it-note that was attached to her pump at Kroger’s when she stopped for gas. It said, “Have a wonderful day and know that you are loved.” How sweet someone took time out of their day to do that. Now is the time to do more of this.
While reading a magazine, I came across a picture of Jonny Rhodes, owner of Indigo Restaurant, pouring okra seeds into a bucket… well, what the heck were those okra seeds for. It was on my mind. I’m a gardener and thought you ate the whole pod, so I Googled it. In history, okra seeds were sometimes used as a substitute for coffee. I still needed more info, so I emailed the owner of the restaurant and he replied, “Thank you for your email. So thrilled to hear about your curiosity for okra seeds! Here at Indigo it is used for just that: Okra Seed Coffee that we brew in-house. The result? A smooth, but deep earthiness flavor without the caffeine.” Well, you heard it here first. When our life is back to normal, be sure to visit him at Indigo. It’s a very small restaurant that is receiving great reviews.
Finland was named the happiest country in the world for the 3rd year in a row. A smuggling tunnel (longest ever found)) was located on January 29 across the U.S. – Mexico border, between Tijuana and San Diego. It was 0.82 miles long. The Friends reunion show is now officially a GO. The Queen of England’s future clothing will not include any fur from animals. Sam Springsteen, 25-year old son of Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa, was sworn in as a New Jersey firefighter. A 2.7 lb. snow crab brought in a record price of $46,000 at auction in Japan in November.
FACEBOOK: “I was telling my husband how sad it was that students were having to go through this (virus) their senior year. His reply was that in 1964 to 1970, many kids took their senior trip to Vietnam. At least these kids are home.” This does put things in a different perspective.” Be sure to thank a veteran.
Just received an email from Central Market stating precautions that are taking place which includes floor markers with footprints properly spaced. Helps make social distancing easier. Smart idea. H-E-B said, “Please remember that while preparation is important, panic is not necessary. We encourage preparedness but there’s no need to overbuy. H-E-B has plenty of product and it arrives daily.”
Senator Rand Paul (who, FYI, is also a physician) became the first senator known to test positive for coronavirus. What he did NOT do is put himself in self-quarantine while waiting for the test results. Instead he ate lunch with several other lawmakers and had used the Senate gym and pool on the day that he announced he had tested positive. I would call that irresponsible.
Quote: “I say it over and over again: When you’re dealing with an emerging infectious disease outbreak, you are always behind where you think you are.” Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, emphasizing that the government is not overreacting in its response to the coronavirus.
There is insistence at my house that my college kids clean up their rooms since they have unexpected time on their hands. It’s going fairly well since I promised to withhold food unless I saw some improvement – any kind of improvement. My twenty-year-old daughter had been quiet for a while and I found her sitting in her bedroom with something in her hand. She smiled big and showed me her old DS…she was playing Animal Crossing, pulling weeds because it had been years since she played the game and her weeds had grown. Seems that she’s had this DS since 4th grade. Whatever it takes.
A Spring woman attempted to use Houston billionaire Tilman Fertitta’s Social Security number to illegally open lines of credit. The 27-year-old says she purchased the sensitive information on the dark web, then applied for a bank credit card and line of credit with a furniture store, with both companies approving the applications. Katy ISD is installing eight cameras on each of its buses, for video coverage of every seat. Sienna Crossing Elementary teachers celebrated their students by driving by in their cars parade style, with students in their driveways and front yards with signs and chalk messages for those teachers!
Continue your acts of kindness. Our actions, no matter how big or how small, will make a difference in our community right now. Be kind to those around you and even kinder to those 6 feet away. Wave at your neighbor, call or put a note on someone’s door saying hello. Remember to thank your school district for free meals, teachers and professors for being ingenious enough to figure out clever plans to teach our children while they stay safe at home with us. Remember to thank a doctor, nurse, healthcare worker, truck driver, delivery driver and especially the person that is checking you out at the grocery store. They don’t have to be on the front lines of this battle, but they are. Be the one to help flatten the curve. Our hospitals need this time. Stay safe. Be kind. Fighting this health crisis will mean economic hardship for many and with that comes grumpiness. Now, I’m going to put the toilet paper package back in the bathroom and send this column to Tina. Take care. We will be here as long as we can, but please remember to support small businesses, now and especially later.
Lisa
