Typically, each morning around 7, I boil water and then fix myself a pour-over coffee, climb back in bed, watch the news, and receive enough cat love to start my day properly. But surprise, there were no cats in the bed waiting for me when I got back, so I strolled back to the kitchen thinking that 3-cats and 1-dog were waiting there to tell me some heart-breaking story about me forgetting to feed them, for like months… like cats always do on a normal day. But no cats were there to mention that they were starving… but listening, I could hear cat-talk chirping chatter. I found the four of them all lined up at the back windows to the porch, excited and watching something. There was the cutest little baby squirrel going back and forth from window to window, entertaining each one of my babies. It was like he was asking if they could come outside and play. I watched for a few minutes, scanning the creek waiting for an irate mother squirrel to come running up and scold the little fellow. It was so cute. I slowly opened the back door, the baby hesitated, then ran back to the creek with a great story about finding new friends.
Pets aren’t our whole lives… but they make our lives whole.
How to Walk a Human
A Dogs Guide
- Humans need exercise. If they don’t get it, they become chubby. It’s up to you to save them.
- Allow your humans to tether themselves to you. This keeps them from wandering off or running away.
- Your human will probably need breaks. Be considerate, stop and sniff
- Bark Humans have very short attention spans.
- After you potty, walk away. If you have trained your human correctly, they will pick it up so you don’t have to scratch the ground to keep your territory clean and fresh.
- Periodically drag your human as fast as you can. This is called internal training. Do not allow your human to shorten the walk. They are being lazy. Sit in protest if you must.
- Once back home, allow your human to remove their tether, then lick their face many times. This is positive reinforcement for a job well done.
Readers, hope you like this. Since mom read it, she seems to be much more patient on our walks, almost welcoming to my stop and sniffs. Humans just take time to break in… or you can always send them off to PetSmart for classes. Teller
Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. – Franklin P. Jones
Happy 25th anniversary to Grapevine Gifts located by Hobby Lobby. Such nice people, who give so much back to our community. I am always surprised at the great novelties, specialties, and unusual items they carry in their gift store. Hmmm. Especially the chocolates. Sometimes I stop and select just four chocolates that they box up for a simple little gift for a friend. To our sweet friends, we say congratulations… from “your” friends at The Source Weekly.
The headline said: I Hope You All Feel Terrible Now. The reference is to how Princess Kate was hounded into revealing her cancer diagnosis. I remember vividly what it was like to have two kids under the age of 7, trying to figure out how to explain to them that first I was going to have surgery, then the doctors were going to give me some super strong medicine that was going to make me really sick, but then that same medicine would make me better. I was going to be very tired, my hair would fall out, but it would come back. All you pray for during times like that, is for normalcy in your life and the lives of your children. And yes, you think quite a bit about dying and how it would affect your children. Yes. Shame on everyone that gossiped and trash-talked Kate. I hope you do feel terrible now, but you can’t ever really understand until it’s you in that same situation.
My life coach just informed me that I did not make the team.
Since the weather has been so nice, I have been trying to get my frozen yard back into shape. I had installed three new LED fixtures at the back of the house that go on at dark so I can work until 10pm if I want to. LED lights are so much brighter than old fixtures; I have them on the lowest setting and it’s still too bright. Anyway, last week it was late, and I was in-and-out the back door fertilizing plants on the back porch. I reached down to brush something off my pants and felt a strange lump on my leg. Uaah! Almost immediately I realized that it was a June bug and then the dance started. I hate those things. It had crawled up my pants legs, past my knee without my knowledge. Never has a woman removed her clothing so fast. There is an old Frank Zappa song… There Will Come a Time When You Can Even Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance. Yep.
A total solar eclipse is about to hit Texas. On April 8th, the path of totality will begin before 1:30pm near Eagle Pass crossing Texas, moving northeast towards Oklahoma and Arkansas, then on to Maine. Texas is expecting millions of people to come see it. My sister is in Georgetown where they are telling people to stay home because they expect the roads to be jammed packed full. The path of the eclipse will be so dark that Texas electric grid managers are forecasting a sudden, brief drop in solar power as the eclipse crosses the state. Go to: GreatAmericanEclipse.com.
I’m fairly certain that the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.
Rumor has it that there will be a third and final film of Downton Abbey, according to Imelda Staunton, who portrayed Queen Mary’s lady-in-waiting Maud Bagshaw in the first two films. The Conservancy of SW Florida caught a nest of 11 Burmese pythons weighing 500 pounds, including one that was 16 feet long. Olivia Munn, 43, revealed she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy several months ago. Supposedly Aaron Taylor-Johnson has received a formal offer to play the next James Bond. The Esperanza “Hope” Andrade is the first ferry to be added to Galveston Ferry Fleet in more than a decade. Hope cost $33 million, is 293 ft. long, 66 ft wide, and will carry passengers across Galveston Bay in 18 minutes.
Shohei Ohtani, Japanese baseball star and MLB’s highest paid player, signing a 10-year, $700 million deal with the Dodgers, says he was duped by his now-fired, long-time interpreter who, guess what, has a massive gambling problem with at least $4.5 million wire-transferred to an illegal bookmaking operation. Hmmm. This was a guy that had been with Ohtani for years and was considered to be a friend. Hmmm.
April Fools’ Day or All Fools’ Day is Monday April 1, a day where jokesters play harmless pranks or fibs to your friends and neighbors. I’m telling you so you have time to think about what you’re going to do. Thinking about it reminded me that as a parent, you really lie every single day, not just April Fool’s. Remember the spaghetti tree, or being told that if you picked the sesame seeds off the hamburger buns, you could grow a hamburger tree. How about NOT swallowing watermelon seeds because you were guaranteed to have a watermelon vine grow out your ear. Or you would go blind if you sat too close to the TV. Or that I wasn’t born, they found me in a cabbage patch. Or if the ice cream man plays music, it means they are out of ice cream. Or my grandma’s favorite; when it thunders, God is just moving furniture. Or when Grandaddy told me that all my freckles would spread together when I turned 18 and I would just look like a had a nice tan. (What actually happened was I turned 18 and didn’t care anymore that I had freckles – he was such a smart man!) I personally told my own two kids that when we went through the toll tag E-ZPass electronic toll tunnels, that if they would just sit very still and pay attention, they could feel it when we went under it. Then I would say, “Get ready, we are almost underneath the toll thingy. There! Did you feel it?” They felt it every time, and yes, I’m a bad mom. A very bad mom. Have a great week and Happy April Fool’s. Don’t be mean!
LISA
Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com
