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What I Heard This Week 10-27-2022

What I Heard This Week October 26, 2022

US Customs and Border Protection agents seized $402,196 worth of liquid methamphetamine at a border crossing in Texas. The nearly 44 lbs. of the liquid were stuffed into 136 condoms, then stuffed inside pumpkins that were discovered inside a 2012 Ford Escape. Clever. The CBP officers said they have now seen just about everything. Recently, there were 44 pounds of cocaine-coated corn flakes found in Ohio, as well as $380,000 of cocaine hidden inside the cushion of an electric wheelchair.


What has four legs and says boo? A cow with a cold. Compliments of Dave Mayberry’s Facebook post.


Merry Christmas. It is a triple-dog dare returning to us on November 17th. HBO Max unveiled the first teaser for the anticipated follow-up to the 1983 classic, A Christmas Story. It is titled A Christmas Story Christmas, and will take place in the 1970’s, finding Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley) returning to his childhood home for the holidays with his own family in tow. It has been 39 years since Billingsley was cast as Ralphie at age 11. Actors Scott Schwartz (Flick, who got his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole), Ian Petrella (Randy Parker), Zack Ward (Scut Farkus), and R.D. Robb (Schwartz), will reprise their roles from the original film. Despite positive reviews, the original movie was a box office disappointment upon its initial release. The movie gradually started gaining popularity on television, and in 1997 it received its own Christmas Day Marathon Showcase on TNT and now TBS.


How bad was hurricane Ian? It was so bad that many Waffle Houses in Florida closed. That is bad. Waffle Houses never close so they can provide food and resources for first responders during natural disasters. Florida has a huge mess and because of all the standing water, now state and local officials are waging a very expensive war against mosquitoes, which spread West Nile virus and St. Louis encephalitis.


There are many paths to God. What really bothers me – and what I think is the height of arrogance and stupidity, is when one group believes their way is the only way. That really gets my dander up. Leslie Jordan


Disney is developing a lifelike remake of its 1942 animated feature, Bambi. The film will employ the same photo-realistic CGI used on Disney’s remakes of The Jungle Book and The Lion King to tell the story of the adorable fawn who befriends a rabbit and skunk before coping with the death of his mother at the hands of a hunter. Why don’t we just poke ourselves with sharp pencils instead! It is hard enough for me to watch the animated version without blubbering. I’m not sure I can stand such sadness in lifelike. I was really young, but I can still remember going to the walk-in movie theatre to see Bambi and Cinderella in Waco, Texas. The years go by fast. I also have really bad memories of The Poseidon Adventure in high school.


Time has taught me that parents do the best they can with the light they are seeing with. That is what we all do. Leslie Jordan


The Crown is returning to Netflix with a fifth season on November 9th and will focus on plotlines involving the royal family in the 1990’s. Supposedly, it contains a scene where Charles suggests replacing Queen Elizabeth II while she was still alive. Netflix has previously called the show “fiction that’s broadly based on historical events.” That’s a slick way out., but I still love watching The Crown.


A carnival ride at the Brazoria County Fair malfunctioned, leaving riders hanging upside-down for almost a minute. Onlookers said that ride operators had to climb up a ladder and kick the pole to get the ride moving again, blaming the problem on a power surge that caused the computer system to glitch. Hmmm. Kicked the pole


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Singer Grace Slick is 83. Singer Otis Williams of The Temptations is 81. Actor Henry Winkler is 77. TV journalist Andrea Mitchell is 76. Bassist Timothy B. Schmit of The Eagles is 75. Actor Harry Hamlin is 71. Actor Lee Grant is 97. Anchorman Dan Rather is 91. Actor Sally Kirkland is 81. Actor Deidre Hall of Days of Our Lives is 75. Journalist Jane Pauley is 72. Broadway performer Brian Stokes Mitchell is 65. Country singer Bill Anderson is 85. Actor Robert Foxworth of Falcon Crest is 81. Country singer Kinky Friedman is 78. Country singer-songwriter Keith Stegall is 68. Singer Lyle Lovett is 65.

Actor Stefanie Powers is 80. is 77. Singer k.d. lang is 61. Actor David Schwimmer of Friends is 56. Singer Lulu is 74. Actor-comedian Roseanne Barr is 70. Actor Kathy Kinney of The Drew Carey Show is 69. Actor Kate Capshaw of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is 69. Comedian Dennis Miller is 69. Singer Adam Ant is 68. Actor Loretta Swit is 85. Singer Delbert McClinton is 82. Actor Ralph Macchio is 61. Actor Matthew McConaughey is 53. Actor Elke Summer is 82. Singer Art Garfunkel is 81. Singer Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits is 75. Actor Tatum O’Neal is 59.


There are very few people that leave such huge, gigantic marks on hearts and minds as Leslie Jordan did. He died this week at 67, following a fatal car crash. Actor, comedian, writer, and singer… he had it all, and we loved him because he made us smile, laugh, and have joy in our lives. He was just 4 ft. 11 in. and born in Tennessee, in case you couldn’t tell by his Southern twang. When the Covid lockdown came his endearing pandemic videos saved us all, his popularity exploded, and his follower count quickly grew to five million. I will always remember his appearances (2004) with Betty White on Boston Legal and the iron skillet scene. He recalled the time Betty White hit him so hard with that stunt skillet that he had to seek treatment from a chiropractor. He said, “I did a TV series with her… where she had to hit me with a skillet – a frying pan – and she said to me, ‘I don’t wanna hit you with this’. I said, ‘Look Miss White, it’s just a trick skillet, it’s made out of rubber’, which must have given her permission to really go for it.”  Leslie Jordan, thank you for the giggles, your kindness, and the gentleness you showed us all.


I fell out of the womb and landed in my mother’s high heels. Leslie Jordan


Netflix’s hit series Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, has created renewed interest in the notorious serial killer just in time for costume shopping for Halloween. But eBay says they are shutting down sales of Dahmer costumes. Their policy states, “Listings that promote or glorify violence or violent acts or are associated with individuals who are notorious for committing violent acts, are not allowed.”


The US Postal Service announced plans to raise postage again on January 22, 2023. It is a 4.2% jump in price, so a Forever stamp will increase by 3 cents to 63 cents, a 1-ounce metered mail will be 60 cents, and post cards will now be 48 cents. Not a bunch of money when you think about it because you can mail something all the way across the US for just 63 cents. They are also seeking price adjustments for Special Services including Certified Mail, Post Office Box rental fees, money order fees and the cost to purchase insurance when mailing an item.


Have you heard about The Venue at Bridge Harbor? Join their Open House on Sat. Nov. 5th, from 4-6 pm so you can see for yourself. I can’t think of a better place to spend our last evening before daylight saving time happens. Beautiful sunsets, terrific location – almost like a vacation. It’s just so pretty out there, and I can sure remember some great parties in the past. (This is not a paid political advertisement; I just went to several really great evenings out there.) The Venue is now ready for weddings, receptions, corporate meetings, birthdays, anniversaries, quinceaneras, family reunions, company & club parties – book your holiday party today. For info: BridgeHarborVenue@gmail.com


A woman in Iowa alleges her dad, who has been dead since 2013, killed 50 to 70 people over a three- decade period. The woman told authorities about helping her father dispose of the bodies, mostly sex workers and transients from Omaha, burying them in a well. The investigation continues with the FBI and cadaver dogs. Stay tuned. Iowa officials who reported a mountain lion sighting in Des Moines have since shared the news that the animal in question was actually a house cat. Oops. One Facebook user shared some fun by posting a picture of a teddy bear, joking that he had spotted a bear in his yard.


Unilever just announced a voluntary recall of 19 popular dry shampoo aerosol products sold in the US, due to concerns about benzene, a chemical known to cause cancer. A 5.1 magnitude earthquake rattled San Francisco Bay area, the largest to strike the region in years. MacKenzie Bezos Scott (current net worth $33.4 billion, because of her 4% stake in Amazon) has filed for divorce from very recent second husband.


An old man decided his wife was getting hard of hearing, so he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
Here’s what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
So that evening his wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he is in the living room, and he says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”  “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response. So, he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response. So, he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response. On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?“. No response. So, he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”
The wife responds, “For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!”


A 30-year-old Virginia mother has been charged with felony murder and felony child neglect for the death of her 4-year-old son after he ingested THC-infused gummies earlier this year. THC, also known as tetrahydrocannabinol (or delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol) is the best-known active ingredient in marijuana. It is a parent’s responsibility to safely store certain items so children cannot get into it, whether that’s edibles, laundry pods, handguns, alcohol, or drain cleaner…  don’t even bring stuff like that into the house at all. But a lethal overdose by THC? Hmmm. The doctor said that if medical intervention had occurred shortly after ingestion, it could have prevented the child’s death. It sounds like the mother waited two days before she sought medical advice, then statements made to detectives by the mother did not match evidence seized at the home. Too many unknowns here. Unknown medical condition of the child, how many gummies did he eat, etc. Sometimes you only get the part of the news stories that the writers want you know. Remember that.


Have a great weekend and thank you for taking the time to read and shop with us. It is great weather for a garage sale, which means you are recycling and putting a little extra money in your pocket, and as always, our garage sale ads are FREE… along with $5 classifieds… because we love you!

LISA


Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com

What I Heard This Week! 08-19-2021

What I Heard This Week August 18, 2021

There was a helicopter pilot ticketed by The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Western Canada. It seems he landed in the middle of a high traffic parking lot, so a female passenger could exit the helicopter and pick up an ice cream cake from the nearby Dairy Queen. Hmmm.


Governor Greg Abbott has tested positive for Covid just one day after a mask-less, indoor, crowded, Republican fundraiser. Abbott, who was previously vaccinated, is said to be “currently experiencing no symptoms” but is allegedly “receiving Regeneron’s monoclonal antibody treatment,” an expensive treatment that is in such short supply that doctors “approve the treatment for only those most likely to develop severe” COVID-19 symptoms. Hmmm. I wish that everyone could afford that special treatment. The FDA says the first dose of Regeneron’s cocktail must be injected within 96 hours of exposure to the coronavirus. Oh, so that must be why he was being tested every single day. It contains the monoclonal antibodies casirivimab and imdevimab and is the first injectable coronavirus antibody treatment approved by the FDA to prevent COVID-19 after exposure to the virus. Monoclonal antibodies reduce the risk of hospitalization and death. What a lucky man.


Sarcasm. Just one more service I offer.


An Indonesian man disguised himself as his wife in order to board a flight, wearing a niqab (covers the face) and burqa (long, loose garment worn by Muslim women) that covered him from head to toe, with just an opening for his eyes. The disguise enabled the man to fly even though he had just tested positive for Covid-19. His wife, however, tested negative, so he used her ID and negative test results in order to board the plane. He probably would have been successful if a flight attendant hadn’t seen him go into an airplane bathroom, then come out wearing men’s clothes instead of women’s clothing. An on-site health officer immediately tested the man for Covid-19, and the test came back positive.


Alice Rodgers, Lake Jackson city secretary extraordinaire is retiring on December 1st, after 37 years, so be sure to drop her a card in the mail, phone, or email her at the city to say thank you.  She knows everything about every-thing, and every-body… warts, and all.  25 Oak Drive, LJ, 979-415-2400


Texans, please get vaccinated. You can’t trust the Texas power grid to keep your ventilator on.


Alex Trabek died in November from pancreatic cancer. His sharp-looking Jeopardy wardrobe has been donated to The Doe Fund, to help men on job interviews and employment. The Doe Fund is a nonprofit organization in the U.S. that provides paid transitional work, housing, educational opportunities, counseling, and career training to people with histories of homelessness, incarceration, and substance abuse. Graduates of The Doe Fund’s flagship Ready, Willing & Able “work first” program secure permanent housing and employment and become taxpaying members of their communities. There has been a Jeopardy search for a new permanent host since January, with 16 guest hosts standing at the podium. The greatest of all time champion, Ken Jennings, was first, then executive producer Mike Richards, followed by Katie Couric. Then, Dr. Oz, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, CNN’s Anderson Cooper, 60 Minutes correspondent Bill Whitaker, Jeopardy! winner Buzzy Cohen, Big Bang Theory’s Mayim Bialik, NBC’s Savannah Guthrie, Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta, anchor George Stephanopoulos, co-anchor Robin Roberts, Reading Rainbow’s LeVar Burton, Co-anchor David Faber, and sportscaster Joe Buck. Today it was announced that after 37 years, Mike Richards has been chosen as the new daily host, while Mayim Bialik will be the face of new spinoffs, the first of which will be “Jeopardy! National College Championship” on ABC. A lot of people were rooting for LeVar Burton who is best known for his role as Kunta Kinte in Roots.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Blues musician Robert Cray is 68. Keyboardist Garth Hudson of The Band is 84. Singer Kathy Lennon of The Lennon Sisters is 78. Actor Joanna Cassidy is 76. Actor Butch Patrick is 68. Werewolf Eddie of The Munsters. Today Show meteorologist Dylan Dreyer is 40. Singer Tony Bennett is 95. Actor Martin Sheen is 81. Singer Beverly Lee of The Shirelles is 80. Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart is 80. Actor Jay North of Dennis the Menace is 70.  Actor-turned-princess Meghan Markle is 40. Actors Dylan and Cole Sprouse of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody are 29. Humorist Garrison Keillor is 79.

First Lady of Children’s Music Ella Jenkins is 97. Actor Loni Anderson is 76. Actor Erica Slezak of One Life to Live is 75. Singer Rick Derringer is 74. Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Hang on Sloopy. Actor Maureen McCormick of The Brady Bunch is 65. Actor Wayne Knight of Seinfeld is 66. Newman the mailman. Actor Tina Cole is 78. She starred as Robbie Douglas’ wife Katie in the hit series My Three Sons, making a bold move when she and her on-screen husband Don Grady decided to share the same bed in front of cameras. My, how things have changed.


In listening to all the crazy weather reports recently, I have heard the word Derecho quite often. I didn’t know what they were talking about, so I looked it up. A derecho (deh-REY-chos), from Spanish: derecho “straight” as in direction is a widespread, long-lived, straight-line windstorm associated with a fast-moving group of severe thunderstorms known as a mesoscale convective system. Derechos can cause hurricane-force winds, tornadoes, heavy rains, and flash floods. In many cases, convection-induced winds take on a bow echo (backward C) form of squall line, often forming beneath an area of diverging upper tropospheric winds, and in a region of both rich low-level moisture and warm-air… a derecho can produce destruction similar to the strength of tornadoes… There you have it. Just in case you wondered too.


There has been a 50% increase in carbon dioxide in the world’s air since the start of the Industrial age, measured at its annual spring peak this year. In case you didn’t know it, or you choose to ignore it, carbon dioxide traps heat. And the average rate of increase is faster than ever. Remember this is the coolest summer of the rest of your life.


My son mentioned something about an ear of garlic… I said, “What!?! Wait. It’s called a bulb or head of garlic, or a clove of garlic, not an ear.” Giggle. I just love that boy. 😊 Gage and I have been watching the old series, Boston Legal, that ran from 2004 to 2008, starring James Spader, and William Shatner (two of the best actors around) as the main characters, and a bunch of other truly beautiful people. It’s considered a legal-comedy-drama.  Henry Gibson is a judge. Candace Bergen popped in last night. Leslie Jordan plays a man that killed his mother with an iron skillet, then killed his next-door neighbor (with the same skillet) because she threatened to tell the police. Oops, I’m telling too much, but he does “get his” with an iron skillet pretty quick. And you laugh. Out loud. Often. I recommend it. But not for children. I am so tired from staying up late, but Gage will be heading back to school in Boston soon, and I can sleep once he leaves. We just sit at the kitchen table and laugh, thinking out loud, “how can something so serious, be so funny?” Dang, I’m going to miss my kid, AND the late nights we share together, always splitting a new, and different beer. We had to throw away a very expensive bottle last week. Life is too short to drink even a half of a bad beer. I think it had raspberries in it.


How to clean your cast-iron skillet. Turn on your oven to 400. Add a layer of salt to the bottom of the pan and place it in the oven for 10-15 minutes, then use an old kitchen towel to scrub it off.  It cleans and helps preserve your pan.


Michael J. Fox says that his first sign of Parkinson’s was a tremor or twitch in his pinky finger. He was diagnosed at age 29. The Rolling Stones plan to head out this fall on the No Filter tour across the U.S.,  but drummer Charlie Watts will not be joining them. After a successful medical procedure, doctors recommended “rest and recuperation.” He is replaced by Steve Jordan, a member of the John Mayer Trio.


Helium was detected for the first time on Earth, in 1903, in Dexter’s Hugoton Gas Field, now the largest helium reserve in the nation. Many people do not realize that helium is a non-renewable resource. It is made on earth via nuclear decay of uranium, and it is recovered from mines. Remember when you order your next balloon bouquet… balloons are bad for all creatures in the oceans and waterways, and helium is a non-renewable resource. In fact, don’t order the bouquet, just pick up cookies or a plant.


It’s HOT outside. Today, I heard of the third person (that I know of), who has suffered from heat stroke in recent weeks. Heatstroke occurs when the body loses the ability to sweat and fails to cool down. IT IS LIFE-THREATENING and you will need immediate attention. Find some shade, avoid peak sun hours between 11am and 4pm. I think it’s more like 10am-6pm in South Texas. Wear protective clothing, long‑sleeved shirts, sunglasses, and hats. Sunscreen! Remember to reapply often.  Beware of medication side effects. Some medicines make you more sensitive to the sun. Look them up or talk to your doctor to see to see if your prescriptions could increase your sensitivity.


There is a limited-edition ice cream flavor, created in celebration of National Mac and Cheese Day, by Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Van Leeuwen Ice Cream. $12 a pint if you can find it. It is described as a little funky, a little salty, a little sweet… very creamy and buttery and a lot better than you think it will be. It would have to be.


Boston Beer announced a partnership with Pepsi to release an alcoholic Mountain Dew called HARD MTN Dew. All in caps. Now, looking back to days of immaturity, I remember people mixing the neon yellow soda with vodka, liquor of choice, or perhaps better put, whatever was available. This canned version might seem a little more elegant, available 2022, in original, black cherry and watermelon.


A Chicago pharmacist has been charged with stealing 125 official COVID-19 blank vaccination cards and selling them on eBay to 11 buyers for about $10 each. Each count of theft of government property carries a potential maximum prison sentence of 10 years. Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo announced they will now offer $100 gift cards to residents who receive a COVID-19 vaccine. This seems like a much better deal than paying for a stolen black market vaccination card.


The world’s smallest park resides in Portland. Designated in 1948, Mill Ends Park is a circle, two feet in diameter, with a total area of 452 square inches. It’s cute. The US government is offering up to $10 million to anyone with information on who is behind the recent rash of cyberattacks on the country’s critical infrastructure.


A bride-to-be asked the internet for advice about her right to ban her fiancé’s grandmother from the wedding reception. The bride said “However, for precisely the same reasons that we don’t want kids there, I don’t want his elderly grandmother at our wedding either.”  “I think that I am well within my right to make this request, I am the bride after all,” she said. “(My fiancé and his grandmother) both insist that (the grandmother) will be fine and that she wants to go to the party. But I just know that it will inevitably lead to us dealing with her and taking care of her, and I just want to get drunk and let loose with my friends.”  What a charming young woman. I wonder at what age someone will dispose of her. Have a great week. Thank you for spending your time with us.

LISA

  • What I Heard This Week 10-26-2023

    by on October 25, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • What I Heard This Week 11-30-2023

    by on November 29, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Texan in Winter

    by on December 6, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The power went out at my house last night for four hours. While this may not seem like a major catastrophe as it was the middle of the night and […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - “Human Bait”

    by on January 16, 2020 - 0 Comments

    My dad always told me to have a backup plan in case my current job doesn’t work out. I wasn’t sure what that’d be until I saw this ad: “HUMAN […]

  • What I Heard This Week! December 20, 2018

    by on December 20, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The AK-47 is a type of assault rifle originally manufactured in the Soviet Union in 1949. A 17-year-old Humble High School student accidently shot herself recently with an AK-47 that […]

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