Every once in a while, I read something that makes me laugh out loud. This did, so I’m going to share it. Basketball great Shaquille O’Neal (7 ft. 1 in. tall and size 22 shoes), has built a business empire worth about $400 million thanks to endorsements, franchises, car washes, restaurants, and everything else. He always encourages his six kids to focus on their educations, to learn to support themselves, and not rely on his fortune. He says, “I tell them all the time, ‘WE ain’t rich. I’m rich.’” I always tell my own children that I’m worth more to them dead, than alive.

A documentary called Ghislaine, Prince Andrew, and the Pedophile, suggests that Prince Andrew and Ghislaine Maxwell may have dated in the past. A timeline of their friendship shows Prince Andrew and Maxwell were frequently spotted together in the late ’90’s and early 2000’s, often with Jeffrey Epstein. An image introduced at Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial included a photograph of Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein relaxing at what appears to be Balmoral, Queen Elizabeth’s royal residence in the Scottish Highlands. A former Buckingham Palace royal protection officer says Maxwell visited so often that he suspected she and Prince Andrew were dating… sometimes Maxwell came and left several times during a day. Hmmm. I hadn’t thought about them dating.

I like to help people find things by pointing out that it’s gotta be around here somewhere.

Forever is a very long time. In April 2022, The United States Postal Service filed a notice of change in rates with the Postal Regulatory Commission (PRC). On July 10, 2022 (for the date-challenged that is this weekend), First Class Mail (1 oz.) letter rate for postage purchased at the Post Office will increase two cents to $0.60, from $0.58. So basically, it will now cost you 60 cents plus your envelope or card to mail something all the way across the US. That really seems like a terrific deal to me. Be sure to pick up some Forever stamps and greeting cards by Saturday, so you can save a little. I will remind you that stamps and cards are a great gift for the retired, or even the younger generation, reminding them to mail something, because receiving mail with your name on it is still the greatest thrill. Except bills.

Just saw an editorial cartoon with a man dragging a female while toting a gun. It said: This is my woman; this is my gun. One has gained rights, the other has none!

This is the way I understand it. Back in 2013, polite and clean-cut, leading scorer Steph Curry left Nike (he had been wearing the brand since college) for Under Armour. Why?  His dad says he was lined up to sign with Nike whose offer was worth $2.5 million per year, when Nike declined to match the $4 million offer of Under Armour. First, during the pitch meeting, Nike mispronounced Stephen as “Steph-on” (like Steve Urkel’s alter ego in Family Matters), not correcting the mistake, then the PowerPoint slide featured Kevin Durant’s name by accident, probably because they recycled presentation material. Under Armour was willing and eager to give what Nike did not want to. Furthermore, the Curry’s felt respected by Under Armour. I hope he continues to be such a positive influence for kids.

I always felt thrilled and amazed that I could put actor on my tax form. Geoffrey Rush

The Academy of Pediatrics is now suggesting that children are best breastfed for at least the first 6 months of their lives, then encouraged support for those that can continue for two years or more, along with suggesting nonjudgmental support to whatever a mother decides to do, or in some cases has no choice because of adoption, medical reasons, or personal decisions.

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Singer Jeff Hanna of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band is 74. Ventriloquist Jay Johnson of Soap is 72. Dang, that was a funny show. Actor Stephen Lang is 69. Avatar. Actor Sela Ward is 65. Jazz saxophonist Kirk Whalum is 63. Guitarist Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi is 62. Singer Christine McVie of Fleetwood Mac is 78. Fitness guru Richard Simmons is 73. Actor Cheryl Ladd of Charlie’s Angels is 70. Actor Mel Harris of thirtysomething is 65. Actor Patrick Stewart is 81. Captain Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987–1994). Singer-guitarist Roger McGuinn of The Byrds is 79. Actor Harrison Ford is 79. Actor-comedian Cheech Marin is 75. Country singer Louise Mandrell is 67. Singer Leon Bridges is 32. Football player-turned-actor Rosey Grier is 89. Actor Patrick Wayne is 82. He is the second son of movie star John Wayne and his first wife, Josephine Alicia Saenz. He made over 40 films, including eleven with his father. Singer Linda Ronstadt is 75. Drummer Artimus Pyle of Lynyrd Skynyrd is 73. Drummer Marky Ramone of The Ramones is 69. Actor Willie Aames of Eight Is Enough is 61. Tommy Bradford.  Model Kim Alexis is 61. Actor-director Forest Whitaker is 60. Actor Brigitte Nielsen is 58. Dancer Michael Flatley of Lord of the Dance is 63. Actor Phoebe Cates is 58.  Actor Donald Sutherland is 86. Bassist Geezer Butler of Black Sabbath is 72. Actor Lucie Arnaz is 70. Actor David Hasselhoff is 69. Country singer Luke Bryan is 45.

To my cousin Elaine who finished her last chemotherapy treatment this week for breast cancer. Congratulations! Afterwards, Elaine got to ring the bell. Cancer is so ugly. Those that have finished cancer treatment or have someone they love that finished, understand the ringing of the bell. It’s just a tiny hurrah.  Ring this bell, three times well, its toll to clearly say, my treatment’s done, this course is run, and I’m on my way. Thanks to R.J. for sending me the cute quilting stuff.

The city of Lake Jackson now asks even numbered homes to water on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday. Odd numbered homes should water on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, because the city has now moved to Stage 1 of its drought contingency program.

It’s so hot outside, the government is thinking about imposing a water pistol buy-back program.

Reigning hot dog champ Joey Chestnut was all prepared to win the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest again this 4^th of July, when about halfway through the contest a guy in a Darth Vader mask made his way onstage and made ‘contact’ with the champ. Rather than wait for security, Joey Chestnut put the overly confident guy in a headlock, then yanked him around a tiny bit. Then immediately and calmly, Joey went back to eating/stuffing hot dogs down his throat – ultimately 63 of those dogs. He won again! But wait, last year he was able to put away 76 dogs. Could it have been that Darth Vader slowed him down? Good story. May the force be with you!

It’s so dry that the rivers are only running twice a week.

Betty White’s beloved treasures could soon be yours. Julien’s Auctions will have a three-day “LIFESTYLE” event starting September 23^rd, that will have 1,500 unique items and personal mementos from the icon’s life and career. Items include her wedding ring (estimated starting bid. $600 – $800), special scripts (esb $3,000 – $5,000 each), a vintage Van Cleef diamond and sapphire brooch (esb $14,000 – $16,000), her on-set director’s chair from Golden Girls (esb $3,000 – $5,000), clothing, gowns, artwork, awards and household and personal items from her home will be auctioned. The collection will be displayed in various countries around the world before ending up at Julien’s … countries like Chile and Ireland. The collection will also make its way aboard the Queen Mary 2’s Transatlantic Voyage. Betty White had the longest-running career of any woman in television.

Dippity-Do. Several of us were sitting around the office debating on what could be done with an abundance of mint that needed to be removed from a friend’s flower bed. Such a waste but how can you use it? Mint pesto? Nah. You only need so much to muddle for Mojito’s. I was reminded of a very sweet, retired neighbor that lived in the same apartment complex with me when I was in my 20’s. She made jelly often. Most of the time she used various leftover jars because she was thrifty as we all should be, and because she didn’t have the money to buy new jars. Once it was plum jelly in a Dippity-Do jar, in case you are old enough to remember the amazing jell-like hair placement product. I could not bring myself to open that jar, but I told her it was delicious. Some of my friend’s mint is now stuffed in a trash bag in my car, and I want you to know that my car smells SOOOOO good. That’s what we should do, just carry around a bag in our hot cars. My friend ended up making mint jelly and gave me a portion. She did not use a Dippity-Do jar. I just happened to have two lamb steaks in the freezer and served them along with the mint jelly and a pasta salad. Great meal. Thank you, friend.

Tweet of the week: Wow, so glad they finally banned Juuls, I can’t think of anything else that has killed more kids in schools. Anderson .Paak

The FDA banned Juul, the popular electronic cigarette, from selling any more e-cigarettes in the US. The brand already halted selling its fruity flavors in 2019. Then Juul Labs won a last-minute reprieve from a federal ban. While e-cigarettes and other vaping products were billed as a healthier alternative to traditional tobacco products, hundreds of people have died or been hospitalized nationwide for lung ailments associated with the trend. 

Costco has sold their $4.99 Kirkland rotisserie chicken for more than a decade. It’s hard to find a lower price because they use them as loss leaders to draw customers into stores. In 2019, Costco opened a $450 million poultry processing plant in order to produce millions of chickens, especially since they sold 106 million of the cooked birds just last year. But now Costco faces a lawsuit from two shareholders claiming Costco violated animal welfare laws in order to keep the chickens ‘cheap’, neglecting, mistreating, and abandoning their chickens. Hmmm.

Airbnb just made its ban on parties, implemented in the early months of the pandemic, permanent. Maria Shriver and her son, Patrick Schwarzenegger, started a company MOSH, a protein bar made for brain health. A worker in Chile submitted his resignation and could not be found after his company accidently paid him 330 times his regular salary due to a payroll error. Taco Bell is testing a new menu item featuring a giant Cheez-it cracker that is 16 times larger than a normal cracker. Hmmm. A Texas inmate set to be put to death July 13th has asked that the execution be delayed so he can donate a kidney.   Congratulations to Dr. Rachel Becker, Under 40 Brazoria County Leaders 2022. She’s our vet, and she and her staff are the best!

This is supposedly a quote by a forest ranger at Yosemite National Park on why it is hard to design the perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking into it: “There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears, and the dumbest tourists.” Love it and know it’s the truth.

As I left my neighborhood one day this week, there was a lone buzzard standing in front of a neighbor’s house like he was waiting for something. Teller and I stopped the car, looked, talked and growled at him. The bird was totally unfazed by our appearance, just quietly continuing his wait. My phone was dead (of course), so after I charged it, I took a picture of him and sent it to another neighbor who sent it directly to the neighbor along with a message, “Are you guys feeling ok?”  We are so easily amused. Thanks for reading us. Have a great week and hope you don’t find buzzards waiting for you on your driveway.

LISA

Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com