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What I Heard This Week 02-03-2022

What I Heard This Week February 2, 2022

An application for a voting ballot by mail was mailed to my office, asking me to return an attached card which was already addressed to Joyce Hudman, Brazoria County Clerk, so it looked like it was coming from the county, but it was not. The card reminded me that because of my advanced age, I had earned the right to vote by mail in the privacy of my own home, all while avoiding long lines at the polls. Hmmm. (I wondered to myself if any of them had ever read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. They really should.) Back to the story. They were even kind enough to think ahead and check some of the boxes for me with a bright red check mark. Boxes that I would have to white-out if I used the application, but that’s no big deal. I was still thinking to myself, that voting by mail might be exactly what I want to do, until I saw the part requesting my Texas Driver’s License Number, Texas Personal Identification Number, Texas Election Identification Certificate Number, or the last 4 digits of my Social Security Number. Now this information is supposed to be printed on the open post card, which is supposed to be dropped into the mail. A post card with no envelope. That doesn’t seem right. I was reminded on another part of the card that having the TDL was important in order to stop voter fraud and to ensure the ballot is delivered. I stand behind the fact that this information should not be put on a postcard. I think my grandma would have looked me straight in the eyes and said something about having just fallen off the turnip or cabbage truck. Just saying, but maybe I’m wrong.


To those of you that are not of advanced age like me… grrrrrr… to fall off a turnip truck is to be considered gullible, naïve, ignorant, or unsophisticated. Grandma died in 1996, but she always seems to come to mind and help me out in situations like this.


So, let’s just say you don’t really want to leave the house today!  Did you know that you can play Powerball online, while still in your pajamas? Even Quick Pick. It can all be found at tx.theLotter.com. Just fill in your Powerball entry and buy your ticket. Once your purchase has been processed, you will receive a confirmation email and before the draw, you will find a scanned copy of the official Powerball ticket in your account. Both will serve as your proof of participation in the draw and ticket ownership.


M&Ms were first sold in 1941, with the endearing and sometimes pleasant M&Ms characters arriving in 1954. Old M&Ms commercials starred just Red and Yellow, representing regular and peanut M&Ms. In the late 1990s, new characters were added to the mix. Brown, the most recent addition, joined the group in 2012. Mars Wrigley, which owns the candy, said that they are making subtle changes to the characters’ appearances, relaxing their looks a little. I guess the pandemic has done that for all of us, in the way we dress. Green swapped her go-go boots for sneakers. Brown’s high heels are now a more sensible low pump, but you still look at her and know that she is way smarter than all the rest. Orange’s shoelaces are no longer untied, but he still looks a tad stressed. Blue’s shoes haven’t changed much, but according to their website, they now look a little like “a bad version of Uggs.” The last change is to the logo, which is no longer resting on its side, but setting up straight. All in the name of advertising. In 2012, Quaker altered its famous Quaker face by removing a double chin, smoothing out rolls and plumpness in his face and neck (probably Botox and laser therapy), then elongating the neck, and showing more shoulders. His hair was shortened to make him seem more fit. Then there is poor Aunt Jemima. PepsiCo acquired Quaker Oats, then got rid of Aunt Jemima and her image totally, changing the name to Pearl Milling Company in order to “shed the brand of its racist roots.”   Mars Food took 70-year-old Uncle Ben’s Rice, and it is now called Ben’s Original. Same orange packaging, but the picture of Uncle Ben has been removed. The Eskimo Pie, first developed in 1920, recently changed its name to Edy’s Pie after believing its original name was offensive toward native artic communities. Which, in my mind, brings me to Eskimo kisses, so don’t forget Valentine’s Day is almost here. M&Ms come in Pink.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor, model, singer, and sex symbol Mamie Van Doren is 91. Actor Mike Farrell is 83. M*A*S*H. NBC news anchor Tom Brokaw is 82. Actor Gayle Hunnicutt is 79. She would have become the first Bond girl of the Roger Moore era had she not been pregnant. Singer Fabian is 79. He posed nude for Playgirl magazine in 1973, but regretted the attempt for renewed publicity, claiming he looked fat and stupid. Actor Michael Tucker of L.A. Law is 77. Drummer Simon Phillips of Toto is 65. Actor Judith Light of Who’s the Boss is 73. Actor Robert Wagner is 92. Singer Roberta Flack is 85.

Actor Joe Pesci is 79. Actor Mia Farrow is 77. Good Morning America co-host George Stephanopoulos is 61. Actor Laura Dern is 55. Actor Tina Louise is 88. Ginger on Gilligan’s Island. Musician Sergio Mendes is 81. Singer Sheryl Crow is 60. Singer Joe Ely is 75.  Actor Jennifer Aniston is 53. Actor Joe Don Baker is 86. Country singer Moe Bandy is 78. Actor Maud Adams of Octopussy is 77. Bond girl 1983. Guitarist Steve Hackett of Genesis is 72. Singer Michael McDonald of Doobie Brothers is 70. Actor Joanna Kerns is 69. Actor-talk show host Arsenio Hall is 66. Singer Chynna Phillips of Wilson Phillips is 54.

Singer Rick Astley is 56. Never Gonna Give You Up. Actor James Spader is 62. Country singer Garth Brooks is 60. ABC News anchor Ted Koppel is 82. Actor Nick Nolte is 81. Comedian Robert Klein is 80. Actor Mary Steenburgen is 69. Author John Grisham is 67. Actor-turned-politician Sheila James Kuehl of The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis is 81. Singer Carole King is 80. Singer Barbara Lewis is 79. Hello Stranger. Author Alice Walker of The Color Purple is 78. Composer-conductor John Williams is 90. Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Harry Potter, Superman, Star Wars, Schindler’s List and more. He has 5 Academy Awards, 4 Golden Globes and 27 Grammy Awards.


There’s a very basic human, non-verbal aspect to our need to make music and use it as part of our human expression. It doesn’t have to do with body movements, it doesn’t have to do with articulation of a language, but with something spiritual.  John Williams


There was some wild card-shopping done the last time I went to Walmart. As long as I was there picking up Ball freezer containers and the $9.00 bag of 18 tennis balls for Teller, I figured I better pick up some cards. They really have a terrific selection, but so does Tractor Supply. My favorite was, You’re the Lone Corn Dog in a World of Plain Wieners. When you open it up, it says, In Other Words, You’re Amazing.  I bought two, one for each amazing kid.


I love children, the only problem with children: they grow up to be people, and I just like animals better than people. It’s that simple.  Betty White


Tom Brady (44) is retiring, and it is reported that after 22 seasons of football, he made more than $293 million with playing contracts, and more than $160 million with his off the football field endeavors, including a podcast, fashion line and endorsements. Using my fingers and toes, which seems to add up to about $453 million, making him the NFL’s all-time earnings leader. But wait. His very homely wife, Gisele Bundchen, a Brazilian fashion supermodel, 16th richest woman in the entertainment industry, is worth $521 million all on her own without Tom, so she wins.


My God, to read without joy is stupid. John Williams


Four young men were arrested for rocking the San Diego Zoo gondola, which in turn left over 100 people stranded for about an hour and half.  A British Airways plane trying to land at Heathrow Airport was hit with a 75mph gust of wind and if not for the quick thinking of the pilot who realized the danger and aborted his landing, it could have been a disaster. The report said that several passengers, “lost their lunches.”  Bob Dylan has sold his music catalog to Sony Music.


Poor Britney Spears. Her legal team wants her dad, Jamie Spears, to admit he had a romantic relationship with his daughter’s former business manager. Following the release of her sister’s new book Things I Should Have Said, which made the National Best Sellers list, Britney has called Jamie Lyn a “Scum and a ******* liar”. (I’ve never had that many stars for letters in this column.)  Jason Bateman believes he harmed his career for 10 years because he “stayed at the party too long,” then his wife encouraged him to get sober.  Tiger King’s, Joe Exotic, has been resentenced from 22 to 21 years in prison in his murder-for-hire conviction. Obviously, I also read some trash this last week.


Falling Iguana Warnings. Last weekend I stayed pretty close to the news and weather of Boston because, well, I guess I thought, like a mom, I could make a difference in whether my son lost electricity and/or stayed warm during the blizzard, and record-tying snowfall they experienced. It tied for largest one-day snow total since 1872. I could tell that he and his friends were really concerned, especially between snowball fights and brunch out on Sunday morning. Ahh, to be young again. Nah. I was way too gullible back then. That cold Artic air traveled all the way to Florida, the Sunshine State, where they have 3-ft. long iguanas. When temperatures dip below 40, the iguanas that sleep in the trees become incapacitated, falling from the trees in a zombielike condition.  When they warm up, they are fine. So, while I was watching the weather, the meteorologist said that everyone needed to be aware of falling iguanas, just like it was an everyday thing. I thought it was funny. I guess it’s not quite as funny today.


The post office is warning customers about fake stamps that are circulating around for discounted prices. Consider yourself warned. Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow this week on Groundhog Day. That means 6 more weeks of winter. Hate to tell the giant rodent that we already knew that. A translation error has resulted in thousands of souvenirs marking Queen Elizabeth‘s Platinum “Jubbly” rather than her Platinum Jubilee. Proof, proof, proof. The Washington Redskins changed their name and became the Commanders. Hope that doesn’t annoy Star Wars and Star Trek fans. Over 1,000 athletes and coaches are using burner phones at the Winter Olympics because the Chinese state has ‘crazy, scary’ spying tech that monitors calls, reads texts, tracks movements and can spot ‘illegal‘ words in private conversations.


Night before last, I went home and pulled out a red wine glass and feeling pretty sassy, I poured myself a cold-pressed beet juice instead of wine. I had purchased them on Friday, and I always freeze them if they’re not used within 3 days. I thought I was safe. They’re good for de-tox, but I think they taste just wonderful, and it’s always a treat. A few hours later, my stomach started rumbling and crying out, so loud it even scared the cat. I experienced several episodes of ‘de-tox’ before I finally fell asleep. I’m not saying that it was the juice, but I had eaten all my meals from home the past three days, so I don’t think it was anything I ate. The next day I had a headache. Probably because I was dehydrated. Ha-ha. Are you wondering what the moral of this story is? Last night, I grabbed a red wine glass and poured in real red wine. You can only be so healthy, before it starts affecting your health. 😊 Thanks for picking us up, and I hope something good happens to you today. Many thanks to all the kind people that have helped us find new locations to pick up this paper since
Buc-ee’s decided to remove all newsprint. We appreciate you!!


Don’t forget that you can run a FREE Valentine message (or more) just by calling our office (979-285-9200) before 6pm on February 8th. THIS Tuesday. Talk to Connie, Pam, Hailey, Lisa, Tina, or Thomas. Now, before you say to yourself, “Well, sure. I’ll do that soon…” Just go ahead and do it right now because Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and you know time will get away from you and you’ll forget. You know I’m right. It’s a nice affordable way for everyone to say I’m Thinking of You.

LISA

 

Much Ado About Nothing – “Groundhog”

Much Ado About Nothing February 13, 2020

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

For the past 133 years, the residents of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania have, without fail, every February 2nd, hauled out a chubby groundhog name Punxsutawney Phil to predict the end of winter. This year, right on schedule, here comes Phil, likely wearing his Pat Mahomes Kansas City Chief’s jersey, to check on the existence of his shadow and announce the prospects for spring. Since 1887, it’s really been a lot of fun and games … until the protestors get involved. Enter PETA.

PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. (It does not stand for People Eating Tasty Animals. That’s a completely different group that likely hosts outstanding barbecues for members.) PETA is the world’s largest animal rights group with gaboons of members who actually do good things to keep lipstick off pigs and monkeys out of labs. This year, though, they took notice of Phil and clamored to have him replaced by artificial intelligence – a rodent robot.

To be clear, it’s not okay to replace humans at McDonald’s with kiosk computers, but it’s okay to rob this defenseless creature of his identity as a beloved weather icon deserving of his own nationally recognized holiday and replace him with a machine. Maybe he can get a job at McDonald’s.

The PETA people argue that a robot would provide a more accurate prediction. This year as he was proudly held high above the cheering crowds, Phil did not see his shadow and proclaimed the arrival of an early spring. So, you know what, I’m Team Groundhog all the way! I honestly would rather have a nocturnal, burrowing woodchuck tell me those sweet lies that I want to hear over some National Weather Service computer droid explaining why the jet stream, global warming and the El Nino doom me to winter that will last until early May.

Sadly, no sooner had Phil prognosticated (that’s today’s word to Google!) hope of spring and driven off with Bill Murray but it started snowing. Everywhere. The Texas panhandle was at a standstill while even San Antonio froze their fajitas. The Midwest got buried and Michigan has officially been annexed into the Arctic Circle. Which, I’m not going to lie, makes me want to strangle Phil. Fortunately for him, my hands are too frozen to actually follow through with that.

Spring is March 19th. Six more weeks!

What I Heard This Week! February 07, 2019

What I Heard This Week February 7, 2019

RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Composer Philip Glass is 82. Blues singer musician Charlie Musselwhite is 75. Canned Heat. Often identified as the “white bluesman.” Singer Justin Timberlake is 38. Folk-rock singer musician Marcus Mumford is 32. Mumford and Sons. Actress Blythe Danner is 76. Actor Thomas Calabro is 60. Melrose Place. Human rights activist Amal Clooney is 41. Comedian Tom Smothers is 82.

Actor Bo Hopkins is 75. Rock musician Ross Valory is 70. Journey. Model Christie Brinkley is 65. Actor Russ Tamblyn is 84. He was 27 years old when he played Riff, the knife-wielding, rocket-tempered gang leader of the streetwise Jets in the musical film West Side Story in 1961. TV personality Meredith Vieira is 65. NBA player LeBron James is 34. Rock singer musician Dave Grohl is 50. Foo Fighters.


A 37-year-old Plano man has been found guilty of continuous sexual abuse of a child and sentenced to 60-years in prison after impregnating an 11-year-old girl. Hmmm. Remember Lorena Bobbitt?


Rep. Richard Raymond has introduced legislation that would toss out the old “blue law” and allow liquor stores to be open seven days a week. Beer, wine and liquor would not be available before noon on Sunday, but the bill would increase the legal hours of operation for liquor stores to 9am to 10 pm. The Texas blue law was passed in 1961.


For part of my children’s Christmas, I ordered tickets to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in concert with the Houston Symphony. If you read the books in order, this is number 4. I just can’t explain how wonderful it is to see these movies with the magic of a live orchestra. Afterwards, the four of us visited Katz’s Deli and Bar in Montrose to experience their 24-hour menu. We were seated immediately, then started with a smoked salmon sandwich on rye with cream cheese, capers, lettuce, thin sliced red onion and tomatoes. It was fabulous. We tried Matzo Ball soup, Rueben sandwiches, sweet potato fries and ended our meal with two rice puddings with strawberry sauce and a mountain of whipped cream that we shared. It was a five-star evening.


On February 2, in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, Phil, the weather groundhog emerged from his burrow and didn’t see his shadow. That means early spring.


Pay attention: Call, come by or pick up a blank Valentine card from our office and we will tell your Valentine(s) how special they are on February 14.  FREE and we can’t wait to publish your sweet thoughts, goofy thoughts or secret thoughts. We are just hoping that you don’t let this moment pass you by and you get in trouble. It’s so easy. 979-285-9200 or come by 223 Parking Way, LJ.


Dear Valentine: Let’s take our relationship to the next level. I‘m going to add you to my Costco membership and get you your own card.


Chinese New Year began on February 5th and is now celebrated by a quarter of the world’s population. Each year in the Chinese calendar is represented by one of twelve animals in the Chinese Zodiac. 2019 is the year of the Earth Pig. The Pig is a symbol of diligence, compassion, and generosity in China. Traditional foods eaten during the Spring are fish (the Chinese word for ‘fish’ sounds like the word for ‘surplus,’ so the eating of fish is supposed to bring a surplus of money and good luck); Chinese dumplings (as their shape is said to be like that of silver ingots, which were used as money in ancient Chinese); spring rolls; rice cakes and rice balls. Like our black-eyed peas and cabbage.


“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” I really love this…


Twenty Years Ago: January 18th, 1999. I had just found out that a local Shopper newspaper had locked their doors but failed to tell their employees not to show up for work that morning. I loved The Bargains and always picked up a copy at a local Chinese restaurant when I stopped to get fried rice for dinner. Well, heck. I told myself, “Someone needs to continue a newspaper and I can do that.” How naïve I was.

Two days and very little sleep later, there were three (3) employees (Linda, Helen and Bobby) hired, office equipment ordered, desks donated to the cause (Denice) and less than three weeks later,The Source Weekly was born. Our first baby was printed and published on February 4th, 1999.That’s it!  That was the business plan. Stupidity, foolish, crazy, irresponsible – all these words come to mind now – but there was no lack of confidence, positiveness, and faith that it wouldn’t all work out.

We couldn’t buy the existing newspaper because of ‘legal matters’ so a new and improved newspaper was created. I was 43 years old, had a 2-year-old son and did I happen to mention…I was three months pregnant at the time.  I had a friend (Beth) in the printing business and when I told her what was going on, she said, “You can’t do this.” Too late, everything is already in motion.

When everyone was called together three months later so I could announce that I was pregnant, they all thought that we were shutting the place down. At six months down the road, I was sure tempted to close it down, but there was too much debt to walk away. I was so lucky that my uncle Lynn had left me some money a few months earlier.

There were several times that some of us napped under the tables in order to work through the night in order to get the paper out on time. Our first office was on Dixie Drive and we all knew exactly what time Shipley’s donut shop opened and when the morning paper was delivered.

It was a rough start – no paycheck for almost 2 years, BUT the employees and the bills were always paid on time. I know that ‘money going out’ met ‘money coming in’ on more than one occasion, but I never embarrassed myself.

At six months along, The Source Weekly found space in the Cox Professional building in old downtown Lake Jackson. We moved one day, and Anne-Elisabeth was born the next day. I have been so lucky to be able to raise my children at my office. There were days that I should have and could have been more efficient and made more money but instead I played Legos, Polly Pockets or read books. To be able to raise your children and have a successful business is every woman’s dream. But, the reason I ‘had it all’ because of the village of wonderful people that helped me raise my children over the years. They never minded that we had baby beds, changing tables, rocking chairs, potty chairs and toys that morphed into computer desks, a piano, hamsters, pet mice (that escaped from the cage on several occasions) and drum sets (which were played after everyone went home for the day.) I always told applicants that if they didn’t like children, then they were applying at the wrong place. I also told a few people that long after they are gone, my kids will still be there so ‘get with the program.’

On the day that I walked across the street to shop for a bike for my son’s Christmas, I discovered that McDowell’s Bike Shop was available for purchase. Today, The Source Weekly is situated in a very old but wonderful office building in the middle of downtown Lake Jackson. Years ago, we told everyone that we were in the ‘old vacuum cleaner shop’ and ‘bicycle shop’ – right down the street from where Younglandia’s was located and automatically anyone over the age of 20 knew exactly where to find us Today we tell them to look next door to Franklin State Farm and PCCare. Evolution.

Sometimes it wasn’t easy. One guy pulled up porn all day long. It took quite a while of ‘never finishing on time’ but now we have our computers always facing where everyone can be held accountable for their work – or lack of. A shoplifter was employed for a very short time. That was interesting. She sure did dress nice. 😊 Then there was the girl that was wearing maternity clothes within days of being hired, stating that she had just discovered that she was pregnant…little did she know that her being pregnant would not have made the difference between me hiring her or not, but you can quickly lose the honesty factor in a relationship.There were people that just didn’t show up for the next day and then ghosted us when we tried to find out what happened. You name it, it has happened.

But then there were others that played such an intrical part of our growth over the years…Twynette, Dawn, Mischa, Tim, Sarah, Michelle, Dena, Barbara, Paula, Chelsea, Nicole, Tommy, Deborah, Cathy, Angela, Sharron, Dan, Thomas, Cindy and others. Troy came, was the worst speller, helped me stain the floors, cleaned the office and studied here at night through college.

The most important individuals are those that came, stayed and became such a huge part of our office family. Helen (19 years),Tom came in just to help for a few days in 1999 and didn’t leave until retirement at the end of 2018, Lucinda (15 years), Kay(14 years), Bobby Payne was our in-house magician and worked with us from ‘day one’ until health didn’t allow for more.He taught us so much.

Tina is still here and has been part of this family since the beginning in 1999, Laura 2006, Connie 2007, and Ashley came in 2010. Pam, Janice, Patricia, Hailey, and Rachelle have joined us over the past few years and help make up our current office. I thank them all from the bottom of my heart for coming, for staying and being such a huge gigantic part of this family. Then I can’t forget that you wouldn’t have received your papers each week if it hadn’t been for Alfred and Novellia who have been with me since 1999. Losha has been here forever, now along with Nestor, Hailey, Patricia and Brandi always making sure that no matter the time or the weather, you get your paper,and hopefully it’s dry.

It hasn’t always been easy. Several life challenges happened over 20 years. We experienced illness in our staff and their families, divorce, and breast cancer.  My office staff held tight to me while I fought the battle with chemotherapy and won. Every day that I walked in our front door with my little bald head, was a good day to spend with my family.

AM I HAPPY THAT I DID THIS? Yes, I love what I do.WAS I CRAZY? Absolutely –no real business plan.  I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. It was strictly luck, good work ethic, grit and prayer that helped it succeed.WAS IT THE RIGHT TIME? Without a doubt! You mature with age. Owning a business is not for sissies. You deal with government, employees, rules, lack of money, people asking for your money, people that want to tell you what to do and how to do it – the list is endless. I don’t believe that I would have had the courage or the strength any earlier in my life and I certainly know that I would never consider doing it all over again today. I’m too old.

OK – so when you hear FREE paper – does it sound cheap – NO, just affordable and it happens to be effective as well. Our job has been to provide a community minded, affordable addition or alternative to your present advertising…that works! I have only gone up on my rates 3 times in 20-years and I can assure you that expenses have gone up many times above that. Our job has been to sell what you love,promote what you have,and help make your business a cut above the rest for the least amount of money. We love what we do and want to help you promote your business.


My job today is to say THANK YOU for always taking the time to read The Source Weekly for the past (OMG)20 years. We are here because of you. So, Thank You. We couldn’t have done it without YOU.  Oh, and please Sell Something Today…so we can stay in business for another few years. 😊. Lisa Baker

 

  • What I Heard This Week 10-26-2023

    by on October 25, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • What I Heard This Week 11-30-2023

    by on November 29, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Texan in Winter

    by on December 6, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The power went out at my house last night for four hours. While this may not seem like a major catastrophe as it was the middle of the night and […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - “Human Bait”

    by on January 16, 2020 - 0 Comments

    My dad always told me to have a backup plan in case my current job doesn’t work out. I wasn’t sure what that’d be until I saw this ad: “HUMAN […]

  • What I Heard This Week! December 20, 2018

    by on December 20, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The AK-47 is a type of assault rifle originally manufactured in the Soviet Union in 1949. A 17-year-old Humble High School student accidently shot herself recently with an AK-47 that […]

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