Man is a clever animal who sometimes…ok…who often behaves like an imbecile. See below.
A Missouri poacher has been ordered to repeatedly watch “Bambi” as part of his sentence for illegally killing hundreds of deer in what conservation agents are calling one of the largest deer-poaching cases in history. The deer were killed for their heads, but their bodies were left to rot. (You know what I think.)
“Granny always said finding justice was as tough as putting socks on a rooster.”
We have talked about this before but now I have a new twist to the story. There is a 45-year-old female ‘Jack Sparrow’ impersonator and mother of five from Northern Ireland who claims that she hasslept with at least 20 ghosts, including the 300-year-old poltergeist that she married in 2017. She was first visited by her husband ghost in 2014 and soon learned ’Jack’ was an 18th-century pirate who had been left at the altar once before and had been executed by hanging in 1753 for helping slaves who were about to be traded. They married in international waters off the coast of Ireland, where the marriage was legal. Well, guess what happened? Yep, they are now getting a divorce. She stated that, “she makes sure to warn people to be especially careful when ‘dabbling in spirituality’ because it’s not something to mess with.” Hmmm. I can’t make up this stuff.
I ALWAYS mean what I say…I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
Everyone has tried Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, at least once. Now General Mills is releasing a churro version. OK. Enough about that. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but have you tried the foot-long churros at Costco? I’m telling you that it’s worth a ride to Pearland to try one. I’ll warn you, don’t worry about a foot-long churro being too much to eat. It’s not! Don’t be thinking that you can eat half, wrap the rest in your paper napkin and bring it home. If you wait just a little bit for them to take fresh churros out of the oven, you will find room in your mouth for the whole thing.
“Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks.” Jean Kerr
At a new year’s brunch, I had a fellow-brunch-attender ask me in a very nice way, if my teeth were real. It wasn’t a pick-up line, he just admired my teeth. I do have nice teeth, but I also understand that I’m getting older and some people my age don’t have all their original God-given chompers, so, thank you, sir, for noticing. My mother would be proud.
So, what was your favorite gift this holiday season? I got new underwear so ‘nothing else’ really matters. Nothing! We are talking ‘lots’ of new underwear. Eleven pairs on sale. A special gift to myself to help make every day a great day!
“When I was young, I found out that the big toe always ends up making a hole in a sock.
So, I stopped wearing socks.” – Albert Einstein
At 7 am this morning as I listened to the Today Show, I heard Savannah Guthrie announcing ‘what’s coming up in the news’ this morning. She said, “The President has some Putin problems.” I have no idea why I found so much humor in that one sentence, but I enjoyed and shared it all day long with whoever would listen. I thought it was a joke when she first said it but no references were made later in the newscast. If I told you that I had Putin problems, you would get me some medicine.
Mr. Wendel, thank you for reading this column.😊Thank you, Mr. Brown for the phone call.
RECENT BIRTHDAYS: ABC news correspondent Cokie Roberts is 75. French actor Gerard Depardieu is 70. He has completed more than 170 films since 1967. Boxing Hall of Fame and entrepreneur George Foreman is 70. Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins is 81. Actor Sir Ben Kingsley is 75. Actress Bebe Neuwirth is 60. Frasier. Olympic gold medal gymnast Gabby Douglas is 23. Game show host Bob Eubanks is 81. Actress Dee Wallace is 70. She was the mother in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Actress Miranda Hart is 46. For ‘Call the Midwife’ fans, she played Chummy.Actor Bill Pullman is 65. While You Were Sleeping.Actor Barry Livingston is 65. Ernie Douglas on My Three Sons.
One evening, my daughter and I watched the 2010 Emmy and Golden Globe-winning semi-biographical film, ‘Temple Grandin’, with Claire Danes. It’s the story of one woman’s success with autism. Dr. Temple Grandin was diagnosed with autism at age four. She had never spoken at that point and it was suggested by the doctor that she be institutionalized. Her mother did not give up. If you read her book, she shares her ability to “think in pictures” which helps her solve problems that you and I could not even begin to figure out. She says the world needs all kinds of minds and has spent her life revolutionizing practices for the humane handling of livestock on cattle ranches and slaughterhouses. She invented a “hug box” device that calms those on the autism spectrum. In the 2010, TIME annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world, she was named in the “Heroes” category. This is a great movie that everyone should see. If you don’t believe me, please note that it is 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Starting next month, Bud Light will have a big label showing the beer’s calories and ingredients as well as the amount of fat, carbohydrates and protein in a serving.Major beer makers agreed in 2016 to voluntarily disclose nutrition facts on their products by 2020. I don’t know, but I don’t think that it will make any difference to people that drink beer. By the third beer, the labeling will have to be quite large.
When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.
Heck of a deal. If you are a hunter or have an appreciation of the outdoors, then you need to purchase a new Gun Raffle Calendar sponsored by The Greater Angleton Chamber.Purchase the ‘gun raffle calendar’ for $100 which then gives you 2 chances to win the gun of the week for 52 Mondays. That’s 104 chances to win a gun this year.979-849-6443
“My shoes never go out without their socks.”
A passenger that claims his pinky finger was stuck in a small hole in the right armrest mechanism of his seat on a plane for over an hour, has filed a lawsuit against both American Airlines and SkyWest Airlines.“By the end of it all, he remained entrapped in this nightmarish condition, suffering for nearly an hour… and…by this time, dozens of passengers became aware of Mr. Stephen Keys’ perilous condition, causing his dire situation to become a humiliating public spectacle,” the lawsuit states. He is seeking “unspecified compensatory and punitive damages.” “As the lawsuit states, the injury to his finger has rendered Keys unable to perform many of his normal daily tasks, including driving and playing with his children. He stated that he was left in pain for weeks as a result of the incident and suffered severe emotional distress.” Hmmm. He would, in my opinion, not be a good candidate for labor & delivery.
Coming to work on Monday morning, I saw where loads and loads of large white Styrofoam cups had managed to escape their vehicle, some still in full sleeves. I just wondered what kind of journey those cups were on and how they managed to escape unnoticed by their captors. 😊
Google celebrated banjo legend Earl Scruggs last week with an animated Doodle. The graphics were so cute showing Scruggs own three-finger method of picking the five-string banjo called the “Scruggs Style.” Remember the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies and Foggy Mountain Breakdown in Bonnie and Clyde. Just think how he influenced today’s generation of musicians. I just pulled up “Earl Scruggs & Steve Martin – Foggy Mountain Breakdown” on the Dave Letterman Show. Wow. Steve Martin, Vince Gill, Marty Stuart, Paul Shafer on piano, and a few people I didn’t know. You’ll like it.
McDonald’s announcement to reduce the use of antibiotics in their beef supply is important stuff. Since they are the largest single global purchaser of beef, their position could create a new standard for livestock producers. The belief is that overuse of antibiotics can diminish the drugs’ effectiveness in people. Yeah, McDonald’s.
Thirty years(yep, thirty) after the original ‘Coming to America’, the sequel,‘Coming 2 America’ is coming to the big screen. 57-year-old Eddie Murphy will reprise his role as African Prince Akeem, who traveled to Queens three decades ago to find a queen, and now finds himself in NY in search of his long-lost son. Remember him and his buddy, Arsenio Hall, mopping the floors at a hamburger joint called McDowell’s (John Amos) where they served the Big Mick, not to be confused with the Big Mac. James Earl Jones played his dad, the King.
The full entertainment lineup for the 2019 Rodeo Houston was announced. Some of them are traditional rodeo artists but there were a few surprises, at least to me. Brooks & Dunn, Luke Bryan, Cardi B (hmmm), Turnpike Troubadours, Panic! At the Disco (love them), Old Dominion, Camila Cabello, Luke Combs, Tim McGraw, Zedd, Kane Brown, Los Tigres del Norte, Zac Brown Band, Kings of Leon, Santana (might have to see them), Chris Stapleton, Cody Johnson, Brad Paisley, George Strait along with Robert Earl Keen&Lyle Lovetton 17th for a concert only.George Strait has more #1 songs than any other artist in history including Elvis.Should be a great concert.
Houston native and longtime local KPRC weather caster Doug Johnson died at the age of 79.Locals remember him sharing a friendly evening newscast with Ron Stone&Wilma the Weather Chicken.
The actress with the gravelly voice and the big, bright smile, Carol Channing, died at the age of ‘almost 98.’ “Laughter is much more important than applause. Applause is almost a duty. Laughter is a reward.”
My kids and their friends were wrapped around the kitchen table one evening discussing current events (that means that they were on their phones emitting an occasional grunt to the person next to them.) At one of their more lucid moments one of them mentioned that the founder of Match.com had a girlfriend that left him for someone she met on Match.com. I could not find this story, but it sure sounded like a good one.
Over the holidays, I made Pho…rice noodles, Vietnamese spices, chicken, bok choy, cilantro, basil, fresh bean sprouts, onions, purple/red cabbage and more, (and btw, red cabbage has ten times more vitamin A and twice as much iron as green cabbage.) The soup was delicious but there was so much purple dye (called anthocyanins) in the cabbage that it turned the broth purple. Which then turned the chicken & bok choy gray. It was so far from pretty. It was a mess. Oh, well. My kids said it was delicious and that’s all that matters. True. But how do the restaurants make their soup so pretty?
Do something for somebody every day for which you do not get paid. Thanks for reading this. Lisa
