After several years of listening to George Santos (who is now describing himself as Former Congressional Icon), even fellow Republicans grew weary of the absolute embarrassment, finally agreeing to expel him from Congress. The SNL Weekend Update farewell skit was pretty funny this week – well worth watching. Now HBO confirmed that it has optioned the rights to author Mark Chiusano’s (November 28th, 2023) nonfiction book, “The Fabulist: The Lying, Hustling, Grifting, Stealing, and Very American Legend of George Santos.” I hope Santos doesn’t make money off of this. Santos has set up an account on Cameo, a website that allows users to purchase personalized videos from celebrities, so that is his money-making job now. Stay tuned…
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS – it’s the time of year that every magazine or cooking show has the most delicious recipes (all variations of butter) just waiting for us to pull it all together and start cooking for our guests and friends. So, I was searching for Holiday Eating Tips and found this. It was on Joke Budda and is funny. A lot funnier than if I told you what it said, so here it is:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly, it’s rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert, Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Joke Budda
RECENT BIRTHDAYS: News anchor Stone Phillips is 69. Bassist Rick Savage of Def Leppard is 63. Actor Cathy Lee Crosby is 79. Impressionist Rich Little is 85. Singer Jean Terrell of The Supremes is 79. Bassist John McVie of Fleetwood Mac is 78. TV personality Bill Nye the Science Guy is 68. Motown Records founder Berry Gordy Jr. is 94. Singer Randy Newman is 80. Musician Paul Shaffer of Late Show with David Letterman is 74. Actor Ed Harris is 73. Country singer Kristine Arnold of Sweethearts of the Rodeo is 67. Actor Judd Nelson is 64. Blues musician John Mayall is 90.
Musician Chuck Mangione is 83. Actor-comedian Howie Mandel is 68. Singer Jonathan Knight of New Kids on the Block is 55. Bassist Roger Glover of Deep Purple is 78. Singer Billy Idol is 68. Actor-director Ben Stiller is 58. Singer Clay Aiken of American Idol is 45. Actor-director Woody Allen is 88. Actor Diane Ladd is 88. Singer Dianne Lennon of the Lennon Sisters is 84. Singer-guitarist Eric Bloom of Blue Oyster Cult is 79. Drummer John Densmore of The Doors is 79. Actor-singer Bette Midler is 78.
Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman on the Supreme Court died at 93. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama in 2009. In 2018, she announced her dementia diagnosis. On December 18th, the public will be allowed to pay respects at the Supreme Court. Wings and Moody Blues co-founder, Denny Laine, died of interstitial lung disease at 79. Nobel Peace Prize winner Henry Kissinger, foreign policy adviser to four presidents and witness to the crumbling Nixon White House, died at 100. Frances Sternhagen, Tony award winner of Cheers and Sex and the City, died at 93. Producer Marty Krofft who co-created several influential children’s TV shows such as H.R. Pufnstuf and Land of the Lost, died at 86 of kidney failure. TV writer Peter S. Fischer, best known for co-creating the iconic crime drama “Murder, She Wrote,” died at 88.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. – Maya Angelou
The band KISS exited the stage for the last time as a real life, in the flesh band … then announcing their new era as a Digital Avatar Band … basically a hologram tour. Their avatars – Demon, the Starchild, Catman, and Spaceman will take over with a combination of LED screen projection, lasers, heavy metal smoke and pyrotechnics…larger than life. Just like the ABBA Voyage show did a few years back. Wonder if I can do that when AARP calls for my retirement at The Source Weekly. There is also some speculation that they may recruit new people to put on the make-up, then tour, like Blue Man Group. Hmmm.
Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day. It’s a frame of mind. – Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Think about this: When the women of the Golden Girls TV show – Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose – first began the show about old women, they were actually playing women in their 50’s, the same age the women – Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte are in the Sex and the City sequel series, And Just Like That. Hmmm.
People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. – Unknown
If you want to be a really cool person, read this, but then you must practice using it in a sentence. Rizz is the 2023 Oxford Dictionary’s Word of the Year. It is style, charm, or attractiveness… the ability to attract another person, as in cha-ris-ma. If you possess lots of rizz, then you just might be called a rizzler. But, Tom Hanks and George Clooney both insist that if you claim to, or just think you have rizz, then you don’t. “It’s gotta be placed upon you,” said Hanks. Those two would definitely know. Just one of 690 new words to get added to the dictionary.
The U.S. just set a record for mass shootings and deaths in a single year. The owners of a Colorado funeral home where 190 decomposing bodies were found, are set to appear in court facing allegations that they abused corpses, stole, laundered money and forged documents. The 3-year cruise ship that was canceled… one woman sold her home to make the trip and paid $562,000 for a 7th floor balcony cabin on the ship. Brenda Lee first released Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree in 1958. It just hit No.1 on the Hot 100. So at 78 years of age, Brenda Lee became the oldest person to top the U.S. chart. The 65-year gap between the song being released and hitting No. 1 is the longest for any artist, a record previously set by Mariah Carey in 2019, when All I Want For Christmas Is You reached No. 1 after 25 years. The world’s largest iceberg, A23a, is moving into open waters near Antarctica after being stuck in place for 40 years. It measures 40 by 32 nautical miles (roughly 3x’s the size of New York City) and was at one time part of an ice shelf in West Antarctica.
Two bloody leather swatches from the 1961 presidential limousine that John F. Kennedy was assassinated in, on November 23, 1963 in Dallas, have sold for $46,865. The limo was refurbished after the assassination, then used by Lyndon B. Johnson.
There are so many celebrity liquor/booze brands. Three new ones are Frasher & Thompson whiskey by Michael Bublé, named after two rivers in British Columbia. Guy Fieri has Flavortown Spiked, a fruit-punch flavored malt beverage, described as adult Kool-Aid, but not as sweet. Pantalones Organic Tequila by Matthew and Camila McConaughey. Their advertising video shows them motorcycling pant-less… pantalones is Spanish for trousers.
Have a great week. Please sell something! Thank you for reading us.
LISA
Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com
