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Much Ado About Nothing – “Independence Day Dogs”

Much Ado About Nothing July 4, 2019

Much Ado by Jean Ciampi

Independence Day, celebrating the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. In most homes, however, the family dog may not be counted among the brave when the onslaught of fireworks is in full force – a period which may last until the firework stands close to make room for the Christmas tree lots. So take some steps to keep Rover’s holiday stress levels below the point where he wants to bite your throat while you sleep.

Dog swaddling! I just read an article that suggested tucking your dog’s legs under him comfortably, then wrapping him securely in a light-weight blanket leaving only his furry face exposed. Supposedly this will calm him during stressful times like thunderstorms or fireworks. Personally, I’m not sure that Spot will actually be calmed as much as wrestled into submission. It’s hard to worry about the threat of fireworks when you’re busy trying to maintain a level of dignity only slightly above that of a burrito. This may be a good option for your favorite Chihuahua, but swaddling a Great Dane in the equivalent of a six-person pop-up tent may be another story.

Thundercaps! These are basically doggy blind folds. Sparky will appreciate the appearance that he’s being put in front of a firing squad right before he hears what will sound like shots fired to him. I suggest you pair it with his thundershirt that will make him look like he’s living on the Death Star with Lord Vader, a great solution if you want him to look tough even if he doesn’t feel tough.

One site suggested giving treats during the scary time. As a stress-eater myself, I’m all for that option. Teach Fido that food will fix everything. Don’t, however, give him chocolate, grapes or apples as these things will make him very sick. While being horribly ill will certainly distract him from the scary loud noises, it will rank you on the Worst Pet Owner Ever list.

The best idea is to adopt an older dog who is hard of hearing or deaf. Fireworks don’t really bother them but living in a shelter without a family to love them does. For that matter, adopt a dog who hears just fine. Show them what it is to live in a land where even dogs can be free — even if they don’t feel brave!.

  • What I Heard This Week 10-26-2023

    by on October 25, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • What I Heard This Week 11-30-2023

    by on November 29, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Texan in Winter

    by on December 6, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The power went out at my house last night for four hours. While this may not seem like a major catastrophe as it was the middle of the night and […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - “Human Bait”

    by on January 16, 2020 - 0 Comments

    My dad always told me to have a backup plan in case my current job doesn’t work out. I wasn’t sure what that’d be until I saw this ad: “HUMAN […]

  • What I Heard This Week! December 20, 2018

    by on December 20, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The AK-47 is a type of assault rifle originally manufactured in the Soviet Union in 1949. A 17-year-old Humble High School student accidently shot herself recently with an AK-47 that […]

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