Comets are essentially clumps of frozen gases, rock, and dust. When they approach the sun and heat up, they become more powerful, spewing gases and dust in a way that forms their iconic shape: a glowing core and flame-like tail that can stretch on for millions of miles. According to NASA, a comet known as C/2022 E3 is expected to reach its closest proximity to the sun on Jan. 12. Then, about three weeks later, beginning Feb. 1, the comet is slated to draw nearest to Earth… 26.4 million miles away. It will look like a check mark with the bright green nucleus and long faint ion tail.
Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat. Major faux paw.
According to the National Transportation Safety Board, a Piedmont Airlines (subsidiary of American Airlines) crew worker, died after being “ingested into the engine” of a parked plane at the Montgomery Regional Airport in Alabama on New Year’s Eve. The incident involved an Embraer 170 aircraft, a medium-range jet that holds about 70 passengers which had flown from Dallas Fort-Worth to Montgomery Regional Airport. More details are expected in the next few weeks.
My friend R.J. sends me jokes in the mail. I do not know his name; he just signs it R.J. Many jokes are not printable, some are. There are blonde jokes, some silly, some are quilters jokes. Here is a funny one from the last batch he sent.
A very blonde woman was telling her friend that she had just booked a seat on a rocket that would take her to the sun the next year. Her friend said, “But you will burn up before you get there.” “Oh, don’t be silly,” the blonde said. “We are going at night.”
People sinking into self-pity and depression are dreary, but they can’t get out of it by themselves. So, every now and then, just sit there and listen, and listen, and listen. You’re paying your membership dues in the human race. Barbara Walters
Just in case you have been living in a cave for most of your life, I’ll let you know again that we need to wean ourselves off single-use items. We must move away from ALL single-use kinds of throwaway items. The British government is now banning certain items such as plastic plates, trays, bowls, cutlery, balloon sticks and certain kinds of polystyrene cups and food containers. A plastic fork can take 200 years to decompose… two big centuries in our landfills or polluting our precious oceans. Styrofoam is not only non-biodegradable, but it is also non-recyclable. That means there is NO PLACE to recycle it, so when you throw your Buc-ee’s iced teacup in the trash, it goes straight into our landfill, where it will stay for at least 500 years. The next time you go out for fast-food, ask for no Styrofoam, no utensil package, and no plastic bag. The utensils they give you can be washed in the dishwasher so you can slip a clean one back in your purse or glovebox, then use it over and over again. We are doing this for our kids and grandkids. Cut the Cutlery.
Delfeayo Marsalis is playing with the Brazosport Jazz Orchestra on January 21st, at The Clarion at Brazosport College. It should be so good. 979-230-3156 or http://clarion.brazosport.edu
What are Irish Twins? They are either a pair of siblings born less than 12 months apart, especially if born within the same calendar year or school year. Because the Catholic Church encouraged avoidance of birth control, children less than one year apart were common within Irish Catholic immigrant families. Therefore, children with a spacing of less than 12 months became known as Irish Twins, also known as Catholic Twins or Dutch Twins. Congratulations to Chandler, Ashley & Kohen, Donna & Robert, on the birth of Walker in 2022, and River in 2023.
RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Singer-guitarist Country Joe McDonald of Country Joe and the Fish is 81. Comedian Don Novello (Father Guido Sarducci) is 80. Actor Rick Hurst of The Dukes of Hazzard is 77. Deputy Cletus Hogg, Boss Hogg’s cousin. TV host Jack Hanna is 76. Actor Dabney Coleman is 91. Actor Barbara Rush of Peyton Place & All My Children is 96. Actor Robert Duvall is 92. Singer-songwriter Van Dyke Parks is 80. Best known for his 1967 album Song Cycle and for his collaborations with Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys Smile album. Singer Stephen Stills is 78. According to Neil Young, “Stephen is a genius.” Country singer Patty Loveless is 66. Bassist John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin is 77. Actor Victoria Principal is 73. Actor Mel Gibson is 67. Actor Dyan Cannon is 84. She was the first woman in the history of the Motion Picture Academy to be nominated for Oscars both in front of and behind the camera.
Actor Ted Lange of The Love Boat is 75. Singer-bassist Athol Guy of The Seekers is 83. Georgy Girl. Former talk show host Charlie Rose is 81. Actor Diane Keaton is 77. Drummer George “Funky” Brown of Kool and the Gang is 74. Guitarist Chris Stein of Blondie is 73. Actor Pamela Sue Martin of Dynasty is 70. Singer Marilyn Manson is 54. Accordionist Joey, the CowPolka King, of Riders in the Sky is 74. Singer Kim Wilson of Fabulous Thunderbirds is 72. Country singer Jett Williams is 70. Her legal name is Cathy Deupree Adkinson, and she did not learn that she was Hank Williams’ daughter until she was 21.
Adam Rich, former Eight is Enough child star, died at 54. He was the pageboy mop-top Nicholas Bradford, the youngest of eight children on the ABC Dick Van Patten series. He suffered from a type of depression that defied treatment and had tried to erase the stigma of talking about mental illness, unsuccessfully trying several experimental cures over the years. “Human beings weren’t built to endure mental illness,” Rich tweeted in September. “The mere fact that some people consider those to be weak or have a lack of will is totally laughable … because it’s the total opposite! It takes a very, very strong person … a warrior if you will … to battle such illnesses.”
Work harder than everybody. You’re not going to get it by whining, and you’re not going to get it by shouting, and you’re not going to get it by quitting. You’re going to get it by being there. Barbara Walters
Flippy is a robot… at 100 different White Castle locations nationwide. Flippy will cook your burgers to perfection. “Flippy will drop everything into the fryer and then at the perfect time, take everything out, give it a little shake and put it into the area for the packaging for the team member,” said White Castle Vice President Jamie Richardson. Flippy costs approximately $3000 per month… but inquiring minds (me) would want to know if he cleans the toilets, too?
The husband of a Massachusetts woman missing since New Year’s Day was seen on surveillance video buying $450 worth of cleaning supplies at a home improvement store the day after his wife was last seen. Come on. Now everyone knows he did it. Yep, mops, buckets, tarps, tape and more, along with a broken knife and blood in the basement of their home. Harry’s book is out. Is this not the couple who resigned from royal life because they wished to remain private? Harry overshares. Enough said.
This past weekend my daughter was heading to Houston so I loaded up my car so she could drop off all our recyclables on her journey, by way of Pearland at the Stella Roberts Recycling Center at 5800 Magnolia Parkway. My Enclave was full and that was just two months’ worth. I sort to clear glass, colored glass, aluminum (cat food cans and drink cans), metal (mostly dog food cans), plastics, broken glass, cardboard and paper, and shredding. I keep a magnet in my garage to determine whether it is aluminum or not. But, what to do with the plastic that they do not take? Pam, from our office, has been collecting all the plastic wrap that you take off of packages (pallet wrap and stretch film), grocery bags, bread bags, water bottle wrap, dry cleaning bags, produce bags, Ziplock bags, bubble wrap, plastic envelopes, ice bags, cereal box liners, potato bags, chip bags, toilet paper wrapping, paper towel wrapping… you know all the plastic that can’t be recycled any other way. For every 500 pounds of film donated, a Trex’s Earth-friendly composite bench will be donated to Gulf Coast Transit. There is a DROP-OFF location at LJ City Hall. None of us can do this alone. It requires YOU. Help us make our world a better place for our kids.
What kind of stones are the best for skimming across the water? A mathematician says to search for stones that look like potatoes. I personally always go for the flat smooth ones. It is expected that people who have not yet had Covid will likely catch XBB.1.5, the newest strain, and many will get reinfected. Royal Caribbean said a hard turn to avoid hitting a raft at sea (which ended up being empty), caused a swimming pool on the Harmony of the Seas to pour a 6-story waterfall down onto the center of the ship. Celebrated singer Maureen McGovern says she is learning to live with Alzheimer’s disease. Remember her song, There’s Got to be a Morning After. In Florida, the TSA found a 4 ft. boa constrictor inside a woman’s carry-on. X-rays cannot be good for animals. Officials in Thailand arrested two women with 109 live animals in their luggage, including two white porcupines, two armadillos, 35 turtles, 50 lizards and 20 snakes.
A $3,300 self-driving stroller was unveiled at a recent tech show in Las Vegas. It has a white noise machine and an automatic parking brake. Like a Tesla for babies except only 4 mph. The only thing that saved this from being totally ridiculous (which, hmmm, it is) is the fact that it is only self-driving when there is no baby in it. So, you cannot put the baby in there and send the stroller to Grandma’s house. Let’s say that you took the baby out to nurse, then the stroller would drive itself. Is this really necessary except for a Kardashian?
Ten Weirdest items agents found at airport security in 2022. 1.) Soiled money stuffed inside a pair of crutches. 2.) Hand grenade inside a carry-on bag. 3.) Three cattle prods inside a carry-on guitar case. 4.) A handgun hidden inside a gutted PlayStation console. 5.) Drugs hidden inside hair scrunchies. 6.) A double-bladed knife hidden inside the casing of a laptop. 7.) A loaded 9mm handgun in a medical sling. 8.) Disassembled parts of a handgun wrapped in plastic and a magazine loaded with ammo inside jars of peanut butter. 9.) A handgun stuffed inside a raw whole chicken. Poor chicken. Bet that did not feel particularly good. 10.) 12,000 fentanyl pills hidden inside candy boxes and candy bags.
Thanks for taking the time to read us this week!
Lisa
Send comments to Lisa Baker at lisa@thesourceweekly.com
