By Lisa Baker • 06-29-17

My 17-year-old daughter loves movie scores…loves them. If you have ever watched any part of a movie on mute, you know that without music, scary scenes aren’t as scary and happy endings just aren’t very happy. But when you add a live orchestra, it takes the emotional impact of a movie’s music to a whole new level.

With that in mind, I recently arranged our family vacation around a concert by Hans Zimmer, a German composer and record producer who announced last fall that he was going to do just three concerts (they lied) in the states. The three of us planned for months so we could get cheap hotel and cheap airfare…the plane left in the wee hours of the morning…we thought we were so smart. We arrived in LA, and took the bus to Enterprise, which happened to be half the price of the first two car rentals I found…always keep looking. We pulled into our hotel at 8:30am and thanks to sweet Emma, the Marriott Residence Inn desk clerk that allowed us to check in 6 hours early, we were unpacked and eating the complimentary hotel breakfast with brie and croissants at 9am.  No pour-it-yourself waffles in the shape of Texas. It was a huge room full of fine food. And, yes, it was only 9:00am. We then napped and my son spent the afternoon with some of Hans Zimmer’s tech guys, while my daughter and I walked to Bottega Louie where we ate Portobello fries and drank a Toyoko Mule before we packaged up a box of macaroons to take with us. From our hotel, it was one block to LA Live for the concert which was w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.

Since the 80’s, Hans Zimmer has composed music for over 150 films. His works include The Lion King (for which he won an Academy Award), Pirates of the Caribbean series, Dark Knight Trilogy, Inception and Interstellar, Driving Miss Daisy…just to name a few.

We set our alarm for 4am the next day and headed up to San Luis Obispo (according to Ian Landau, it’s one of the one of the Four Happiest Cities on Earth) to tour the packaging department (thank you, Jay Singh) of Cal Poly University, where my daughter is dreaming about spending four college years. We ate fabulous donuts at SloDoCo (go to their menu online – it is the most unbelievable thing you have ever seen) and then we drove back to LA by way of the ocean, 60 degree temps and no humidity. We might have stopped and played in the ocean. It was beautiful.

On our third day, we hurried over to Disneyland, drank Dole Whips and had our picture taken with Mary Poppins. “A Practically Perfect Day.” Disney is one of the happiest places in the world.

On our fourth and final day, we packed our bags, left my daughter at the hotel doing homework while my son and I visited the Hollywood Walk of Fame – 2,600 five-pointed terrazzo and brass stars embedded in 15 blocks of Hollywood Blvd. and three blocks of Vine Street sidewalks. It’s a popular tourist destination with as many as 10-million visitors a year. I looked at five stars, then I was bored. We visited Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and looked at the feet and hand prints of famous people like Trigger, then ventured over to The Hollywood Bowl. WOW. Loved it. The history of Hollywood is interesting but the best part of Hollywood was the gelato from Grom. Delicious.

Our 8:30pm flight which was delayed until midnight so we finally arrived home at 6AM, five hours later than planned, but happy. The three of us all agreed, this trip will be hard to top in the future.

I will note that we used a brand new park & ride near Hobby called FastPark. It’s all covered parking, I had a coupon and we are sold…especially since they handed us three bottles of cold water on our way back to the lovely humidity and heat of Brazoria County.

Spanish astrologist and tarot card reader, Pilar Abel, announced two years ago that she is the child of artist Salvador Dali who died in 1989. A judge in Madrid has recently agreed to exhume Dali’s remains to obtain DNA samples for a paternity test. Because Dali and his wife (married 1934-1982) did not have any children, his estate, valued at approximately $325-million, was donated to the Spanish Kingdom following his death. Hmmm.

A jury has awarded $870,000 to a man whose surgeon removed the wrong testicle. I don’t care who you are, that hurts.

My co-workers at The Source Weekly work hard all day long to help me find interesting and informative ‘stuff’ for this column…just this morning Tina offered me a story about a 19-year-old pregnant woman, holding a baby but still able to beat her boyfriend bloody with a pot of chili, a bat and a knife. My son said that was a waste of a good pot of chili. Maybe there’s another side of the story, but I doubt it. Now, if that wasn’t enough, Connie mentioned that a woman in South Carolina delivered a 14-pound, 1.4-ounce baby…that’s two regular babies. I feel for that new mom like I do for the guy that the doctor removed the wrong testicle. Ahhh.

George Clooney and business partner, Rande Gerber, are selling their tequila company that they started just four years ago after failing to find the perfect tequila while on vacation in Mexico. They were offered $1-Billion for Casamigos and the deal is expected to close before the end of the year.

A young girl fell from an amusement park ride at Six Flags Great Escape in New York, this last weekend. Bystanders broke her 25-foot fall from the gondola ride. It was reported that ‘Human Error’ on the part of the 14-year old girl caused her to slip out of the 2-person gondola while riding with her younger brother. Momma told you to sit still and keep your hands inside.

Mary Poppins is flying in…The Center for the Arts and Sciences. July 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, 13^th, 14^th, 15^th, and 16^th. You won’t want to miss it. An extra performance has already been added. Go to TheCenter@bcfas.org or call 979-265-7661 for tickets. This production is generously sponsored by Olin Corporation.

Search teams at the Grenfell Tower fire in London have retrieved and identified 18 of at least 79 people that lived in the building…but, because of apartments being sublet, people living illegally in the country, and the fact that there are only ashes left, it will be almost impossible to have an exact number, especially since some victims may never be formally identified. It has been reported that a flammable material on the building might have been responsible for how quickly the flames spread. Seven other buildings have been found to have the same material because it was more affordable to use. The tower’s residents had repeatedly complained to local officials about the building being a fire hazard.

When you get ready to sell a property, it is recommended that you don’t do anything shocking in either the structure, painting or remodeling that might distract future buyers and make it difficult to sell. So, when the Longaberger Company Headquarters office building (which happens to be shaped like a giant  picnic basket) was put on the market in Newark, Ohio, no one expected that the building would linger, unsold, for almost 2-years. They have dropped the price on the 180,000-square-foot building from $7.5-million to $5-million since it hit the market but there are still no potential buyers. It has been suggested that a buyer could remove the 150-ton handles from the roof and come up with a great paint color scheme to make it fit in to YOUR company plans. I think it’s cute but then I love kittens. It looks like foreclosure is now inevitable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Prince William is 35. He’s a prince, Need I say more? Cartoonist Berke Breathed is 60. Bloom County. Actor John Goodman is 65. I don’t think he gets the recognition that he deserves. Clyde Drexler is 55. Carson Daly is 44. Actress Frances McDormand is 60. Musician Mick Fleetwood is 70. Fleetwood Mac. Paul McCartney is 75. You will be glad to know that he is finally letting the sides of his hair go grey.

When people say, “Stop living in the past, my thought is…but the music was so much better then!”

I first met Ken (Carson) back in 1961. My Barbie Doll was so happy to have him. He was blond, buff, blue-eyed and handsome. Well, after watching Barbie go through her evolution…different skin tones, hair styles and careers and such, Ken was feeling pretty put-off. Now Mattel says there’s Asian Ken, Ken with the man-bun, Ken with corn-rows, Ken with cool glasses, Ken as a bleach-blond surfer, Ken with olive-skin and more. Fifteen new dolls and seven skin tones. Sigh.

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a small package. John Ruskin

Death Valley had a recorded temperature of 127 degrees last week. The hottest atmospheric temperature ever recorded on Earth was 134 degrees in July 1913, at the same location. The first days of summer have brought some of the worst heat the western US has seen in years, forcing flights to be canceled (planes are certified to take off in temperatures up to 118 degrees) and straining the power grid. Aviation experts say that the hotter, thinner air saps power from airline engines and makes it harder for the plane to get off the ground.

Martha is a big Neapolitan Mastiff; not very pretty, lazy, very sweet but gassy dog. She just won the 29^th annual World’s Ugliest Dog Contest. Martha won $1,500, a trophy and a trip to New York to be on morning talk shows where I saw her. It’s a really, nice story. Several weeks ago, she was a rescue animal and nearly blind from neglect. After several surgeries, she can see out of one eye. Life is good.

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The ‘road of life’ is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make up their minds. – Unknown

Grand Theft Avocado: A trio of California produce company workers were stealing avocados from their company and selling them for ‘cash unauthorized from the company grounds.’ Mission Produce estimates more than $300,000 worth of avocados were lost. That’s a lot of guacamole.

People have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want and the courage to take – Emma Goldman

Have a great Fourth of July and remember that the Fourth of July is known as Independence Day because that is the day that the Second Continental Congress adopted the full and formal Declaration of Independence. Even though we had declared that we were independent, the American Revolution was still being fought, which meant that we were still not independent. Regardless of the ongoing war the following year, people in Philadelphia celebrated a muted Fourth of July.

While celebrations on July 4th during the American Revolution were modest, after the war ended in 1783 the Fourth of July became a holiday in many places. The celebrations included speeches, military events, parades, and fireworks. To this day the Fourth of July is the most patriotic holiday celebrated in the United States. I’m off to visit Tom and get my fireworks.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 06-22-17

June 24^th is Eat Cereal Day…which reminds me…Lucky Charms now has a gluten-free version. For those families that can eat whatever they want, who cares! But for the people (me) that have a gluten-free person living/eating in their household…yippee!!! Burger King has just introduced the Lucky Charms Shake…vanilla soft serve ice cream shake covered in Lucky Charms with marshmallows and whipped cream. Forget your Unicorn Frappuccino. This is magically delicious.

Texas: where Coke really means Dr. Pepper.

Thousands of rats have descended on villages on an island in southern Myanmar (between Bangladesh and Thailand,) giving residents reason to believe that there is impending disaster since scientists have shown that mice and rats are sensitive to electromagnetic waves similar to what often occurs before a major earthquake.

Remember the AMC Gremlin that was produced from 1970-1978? How about the 1985 Yugo? It sold for $3990.

Walt Disney World has decided to honor the 2-year-old boy, Lane Thomas Graves, who was killed by an alligator while playing at one of its resorts, by constructing a lighthouse sculpture. The lighthouse is a symbol used by the Lane Thomas Foundation, which was set up by his family following his death and is dedicated to supporting families of children needing life-saving organ transplants. Lane’s parents did not sue the park after his death.

Remember, David Vetter, also known as the boy in a bubble. He spent 12-years behind a wall of sterile plastic at Texas Children’s Hospital before dying in 1984. Baby boy, Sebastian Romero, was born 4-months ago without a functioning immune system. Doctors at Texas Children’s Hospital took all that they learned from the Bubble Boy, grafted bone marrow and filled his small body with infection-fighting white blood cells. Sebastian just left TCH just 3-weeks after his procedure.

Texas loves Whataburger. Ask anyone. I think it’s the mustard. In addition to great taste, teens love to steal the table tents. Whataburger even provides them to graduating seniors with the class year on them. We have one at our house. Well, the ‘thing’ right now is Whataburger birthdays, engagements, shower & wedding cakes and groom’s cakes. One of the cakes that I saw was made like the large 44-oz. BIG cup laying on its’ side. One couple used the sacks for wedding favors and printed labels that said, ‘What-A-Night’ and had their initials and the wedding date printed on the sack. But the cutest thing was a baby announcement…the couple had placed a sack, cup, a stack of ketchup, three table tents that showed the date of birth and their newborn baby rolled up with gold hamburger paper and a blue “special” circle sticker. The baby was then placed right in the middle of an orange and white striped placemat on an orange tray. It was CUTE!

Now you can buy Whataburger ketchup at H-E-B. But wait, what would I use to dip into the ketchup? On June 24^th, a packaged version of the Whatafries (think potato chips shaped like fries) are coming to all H-E-B stores. Cut from REAL potatoes and ready to eat straight from the bag. Hmmm.  I’m confused. Wouldn’t it be easier to just go to Whataburger, order your fries and not worry if they’re real or not?

For player’s weekend in August, Major League Baseball will relax uniform policies and allow players to put nicknames on the backs of their jerseys, as long as it isn’t inappropriate or offensive. What would go on your jersey?

Inmates have filed a lawsuit seeking emergency relief from “cruel and unusual punishment” of indoor heat (no air conditioning) in prison. They describe not being able to read because of sweat in their eyes, soaking wet clothes, sleepless nights and much more. TDCJ has provided ice water, fans, cool showers and more but inmates say it’s not enough. Officials for the country club…I mean the prison, say that most prisons in Texas do not have air-conditioning in the housing units. hmmm.

I’m on the Lonestar diet…BBQ, Mexican, Whataburger, Repeat.

Have you counted your blessings lately? What if God started, one by one, taking away all the persons and things that you have failed to be thankful for? Who or What would be left? Would we have our limbs and our loved ones? We all have the tendency to give strong negative thought to only the things that go wrong in our lives, but we forget to say thank you for all the things that are perfect. Let’s face it, almost everything is perfect. Today is a good day, while you sit at that red light, to start the count.

You know you’re a Texan when Whataburger is pronounced Waterburger. Yes.

Hurricane season is under way and it’s looking like the gulf coast is paying attention.  We hope that Cindy didn’t get your copy of The Source Weekly wet.

Two cases of tuberculosis have been confirmed at a high school in Fort Bend county, so the county health department plans to test more than 600 students and staff members to see if anyone else has contracted the bacterium which can be effectively treated but can be deadly if not.

A fourteen-old middle school boy who was accidentally shot by his twin brother while they were hunting a snake, has died. No charges were filed. What a huge load for a kid to carry through his life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Mastermind musician Brian Wilson is 75-years-old. It was announced on his birthday that on September 22nd, he will release Payback, an 18-track featuring music from nine of his solo records and two previously unreleased tunes, along with photos. Wilson continues his super successful Pet Sounds anniversary tour. We saw it in Boston and it was great!

Actor Richard Thomas is 66. John-Boy Walton. His parents were dancers with the New York City Ballet and owned the New York School of Ballet. Comedian Tim Allen is 64. Tim the Toolman. Actress Ally Sheedy is 55. The Brat Pack. TV anchor Hannah Storm is 55. Actresses Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are 31. Actor Malcolm McDowell is 74. A Clockwork Orange. American crime-novelist Patricia Cornwell is 61. Dr. Kay Scarpetta.  Actor Michael J. Fox is 56. Actor Johnny Depp is 54. Rock musician Frank Beard is 68. ZZ Top. Pro Football Hall of Fame Joe Montana is 61.

TV personality Dr. Mehmet Oz is 57. American songwriter and session musician Spooner Oldham is 74. President Donald Trump is 71. Singer Boy George is 56. Comedian-actor Jim Belushi is 63. Actress Helen Hunt is 54. Actor-rapper Ice Cube is 48. Actor Neil Patrick Harris is 44. Singer Barry Manilow is 74. Actress Joan Van Ark is 74. She has not grown old gracefully. Boxing Hall of Fame Roberto Duran is 66. Widely regarded as one of the greatest boxers of all time. Actress Laurie Metcalf is 62. She won her first Tony this month for “A Doll’s House, Part 2.” Actress Nicole Kidman is 50.

American singer, songwriter, actor and record producer Lionel Richie is 68. He was a member of The Commodores, co-wrote We Are The World with Michael Jackson, is a five-time Grammy Award winner and is one of the world’s best-selling artists of all time.

In 1924, the “Happy Birthday” song was written. Some records show it to be the most often sung song in the world.

Sean “Diddy” Combs aka Puff Daddy, is the top earner on Forbes’ list of the 100 highest-paid celebrities (June to June). His earnings for the past 12 months totaled $130-million. Yikes. (#2) was Beyonce with $105-million. (#3) Harry Potter author JK Rowling with $95-million. (#4) Rapper, singer, songwriter, record producer and actor Drake with $94-million. (#5) Portuguese professional footballer Cristiano Ronaldo with $93-million. (#6) Canadian singer, songwriter and record producer, The Weeknd with $92-million. (#7) American radio and television personality Howard Stern with $90-million. (#8) British rock band Coldplay with $88-million. (#9) American author and philanthropist James Patterson with $87-million and (#10) American professional basketball player LeBron James with $86-million.

Former NBA player/star, Dennis Rodman, returned to North Korea recently. Rodman’s visit coincided with the surprise release of Otto F. Warmbier, an American college student who had been sentenced to a 15-year prison term for trying to steal a propaganda poster from a hotel lobby, and was then held prisoner in North Korea for more than a year. He was returned home in a coma last week and has since died. This should serve as another reminder of the barbaric nature of North Korea and its dictatorship.

You know you’re a Texan when you say Puh-Con instead of Pee-Can.

Puerto Ricans voted ‘yes’ to becoming the 51^st state. It is complicated, since they are a territory, not a state…they are US citizens, but don’t pay federal taxes and can’t vote in presidential elections. They are now $70-billion in debt and filed for bankruptcy last month. Hmmm.

The mother of Ethan Couch, the Texas teen who used an “affluenza” defense after he killed four people in a 2013 drunken-driving crash, may have violated her bond by drinking alcohol. She tends a bar at Honky Tonk Woman in Ft. Worth where she is allowed to possess alcohol but not consume it. Nothing like setting a good example for your children.

The number of people dying on US roads due to distracted driving is still rising. New technology is being developed that could help detect if a person has used their phone while driving. It’s called the ‘Textalyzer’ and would allow police to plug into a driver’s phone immediately and quickly see the last 90 seconds of phone activity – no personal data other than activity. As it stands now, it takes months, probable cause and a warrant. Some critics say it’s an invasion of privacy. Pooh. I say, get it into police cars tomorrow.

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round…and He laughed and laughed and laughed.

On Saturday, I had a date with my son to see “Freaky Friday” the musical, which btw, was really, good. Then we left the theatre and walked the block to push the bayou bubbling button, then on to the Downtown Aquarium and rode the Sharky Shark train like we did when he was little. Thank you, Gage, for allowing me this bit of nostalgia. Then we went cruising the eclectic Montrose area looking for a restaurant and happened to see the crews installing the new painted rainbow ‘Pride Houston’ crosswalks at the four corners of Westheimer and Taft. What a great day!

Some people feel the rain – others just get wet. Roger Miller

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 06-08-17

Warning: Reading this little story may make you smile. As you have likely heard, Mr. Met, New York’s beloved mascot, was caught on video making an obscene gesture to a fan…a security guard laughed when he was told the story, then noted that Mr. Met couldn’t have flipped his middle finger because the costume only has four fingers.

A man leaving the scene of the terror attack on London Bridge and Borough Market was caught on video walking slowly and appearing to try to prevent his pint/solo cup of beer from spilling. Hmmm.

Crayola recently removed Dandelion yellow from the crayon box. Such suffering with us all wondering about a 24-pack with only 23 crayons. Good news. The contest to name the new blue hue ended last week – we should know the winning name soon. The new hue was inspired by blue pigment discovered recently at Oregon State University.  The YInMn pigment contains yttrium, indium, manganese and oxygen and is the most beautiful shade. I entered three different crayon names for the contest and was always told, “great minds think alike, so think of another name.” I think that Trump sent in ‘covfefe.’

The original Star Wars is 40-years-old. George Lucas has always said that all 8 films are meant to be watched in numerical order, but most people don’t abide.

This year, Charlie Chaplin’s birthday was celebrated at Chaplin’s World museum in Switzerland with 662 people dressed up as The Tramp. It set the record for the largest gathering of people dressed as the character from the 1915 silent film. What a fun day…kids and adults were there.

Visit the National Museum of Funeral History in Houston and see a replica of the 1966 Batmobile from the TV show. Their new exhibit is a tribute to George Barris, known throughout the world as the ‘original’ King of Kustomizers. He created iconic automobiles including the original 1966 Batmobile, the Beverly Hillbillies jalopy, the Munster Koach and casket turned dragster (the Drag-u-la) for the Munsters, and many KITTS for Knight Rider. The Batmobile was auctioned in 2013, two years before Barris’ death and sold for $4.6-million. On occasion, the kids and I have “Museum Day” and everyone gets to pick a museum, and I must say that The Museum of Funeral History is interesting and worth the trip.

The Clooney twins – Ella and Alexander, are finally here.

Mary Kay Letourneau and husband Vili Fualaau, with whom she began a sexual relationship in 1996 when Fualaau was her 12-year-old sixth-grade student, have legally separated (but are still living in the same house.) They have two daughters together (the first child was born while Letourneau was serving seven-and-half-years in prison for second-degree child rape) in addition to the 4 now adult children from her previous marriage. In 2002, Fualaau and his family sued the school district and the police for “failing to stop the relationship.”  He claimed that he was suffering emotionally as result of his relationship with Letourneau. But, in 2004, soon after Letourneau’s release from prison, they were engaged and then married in 2005. The couple have hosted a series of “Hot for Teacher,” nights at a local bar where she greets people and he DJ’s. Oh, my.

You’ve seen the Arby’s Roast Beef Sandwich sign. Did you ever wonder where Arby’s got the name? Me neither, but I’m going to tell you what I read.  AR-BY = RB which stands for Roast Beef. Hmmm.

Four homeless residents were injured as the result of a car that jumped the curb at a downtown Houston intersection while they were asleep on a sidewalk. The injured were treated and released.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor-director Clint Eastwood is 87. Yikes. That’s hard to believe. Football Hall of Fame Joe Namath is 74. Actor Tom Berenger is 67. There is some belief that he is “The Sexiest Actor Alive.” He once worked as a flight attendant with Eastern Airlines. Rapper DMC is 53. Actress Brooke Shields is 52. Actor Morgan Freeman is 80.  I love him. Actress-singer Sally Kellerman is 80. Hot Lips Houlihan in M*A*S*H. Actor Stacy Keach is 76. Rock musician Charlie Watts is 76 & rock musician Ronnie Wood is 70. Both Rolling Stones.

Actor Jerry Mathers is 69. NO! Tell me it’s not true…Theodore Cleaver is 69!  Singer John Fogerty is 72. Sex therapist and media personality Dr. Ruth Westheimer is 89. Actor Bruce Dern is 81. Actress-singer Michelle Phillips is 73. Actor Parker Stevenson is 65. Financial guru Suze Orman is 66. Jazz musician Kenny G is 61.

Actor Anthony Geary is 70. He has received a record eight Daytime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Luke and Laura. Singer LaToya Jackson is 61. Actress Annette Bening is 59. Actor Rupert Everett is 58. Singer Melissa Etheridge is 56. Actress Lisa Whelchel is 54. The Facts of Life. Pro and College Football Hall of Fame Gale Sayers is 74. Singer Wynonna Judd is 53. Rapper Cee Lo Green is 42.

Singer Gladys Knight turned 73-years-old. Her 1973 hit song, “Midnight Train to Georgia,” was originally written and performed as a country song by Jim Weatherly under the title, “Midnight Plane to Houston.”  “I’d rather live in her world, than live without her in mine.” Most romantic line ever.

Singer Peter Yarrow is 79-years-old. He was of the Peter, Paul and Mary folk-singing group and was accused and pleaded guilty to immoral liberties with a 14-year-old girl that appeared at his hotel room with her 17-year-old sister during a series of concerts in Washington in 1969.

Actor Brandon Cruz is 55. The Courtship of Eddie’s Father…where Bill Bixby is left a widower raising his mischievous, freckle-faced, 6-year-old son, who desperately wants a new mother. Remember the great theme song, “You’re My Best Friend.”

Harvard has said just kidding to at least 10-incoming freshman students because of what they posted on Facebook. Things like making fun of sexual assault, the Holocaust and ethnic groups. Your momma told you to be careful on social media. How exactly do you tell your friends that you’ve been uninvited to Harvard?

A Pennsylvania ice cream maker released a new Harry Potter inspired flavor based on Hogwarts’ favorite drink…butterbeer. J.K. Rowling once described butterbeer as tasting “a little bit like less sickly butterscotch.” Oh, Yum. Yuengling’s Ice Cream company started off as an offshoot of the well-known Pennsylvania brewery during the prohibition years but is now a separate company. What a good fit.

The Pink Star Diamond was supposed to sell for around $60-million when it went to auction in Hong Kong. It is 1.06” by 0.81” (59.60 weight in carats) and set on a ring. 132.5 carat in its rough state and took two years to cut and polish. The Pink Star was sold to a well-known NY diamond cutter who paid $83-million (which included Sotheby’s commission) and has renamed it the Pink Dream.

A 73-year-old man was fishing with hand lines offshore New South Wales in Australia when a 440–pound, 9-foot–long, great white shark jumped into his boat. He immediately radioed the Marine Rescue Unit for help…they didn’t believe him until they saw his injuries. That’s a pretty good fish story.

Because of cheap natural gas, Three Mile Island may close. Exelon Corporation announced the plant that was the site of a partial meltdown in 1979 will close in 2019 unless the state of Pennsylvania comes to its financial rescue. It was the worst accident in US commercial nuclear plant history…because of cheap natural gas, The Brayton Point Power Station, the largest coal-burning power plant in New England, is shutting down. The plant has burned coal since 1963.

Olivia Newton-John, 68, has revealed that her breast cancer has returned after 25-years and has spread to her sacrum, the large wedge-shaped vertebra at the end of your spine.  She says that she is confident that she will return to the stage later this year after treatment at the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness and Research Centre in Melbourne, Australia.

The US successfully destroyed a mock warhead with an interceptor missile launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base in central California. This is key to prepare and protect US territory from a North Korean attack.

The Bryan Museum in Galveston, located in the historic Galveston Orphans Home, contains one of the world’s largest collections (70,000 items) of historical artifacts, documents and artwork relating to Texas and the American West. if you haven’t been, put it on your summer bucket list.  J.P and Mary Jon Bryan have a deep appreciation for art and history, and are proud to share their collection. This summer the Bryan Museum and the iWrite Literacy are hosting History Camp, a five-day historical fiction-writing camp for incoming 4^th-6^th grade students. For more information or to sponsor a camper, call 409-220-3223.

There’s a Full Moon on Friday June 9^th.

Comedian Kathy Griffin vs. consequences. She released a video of Trump’s severed, bloody head that was supposed to be funny. Liberals, conservatives, republicans, democrats, and most of the American public were appalled. Griffin then issued a video apology and begged for forgiveness…then she lost her job at CNN and sigh, Squatty Potty also cut business ties with her. Griffin then held a press conference with her lawyers to speak out against the president and his family…she stated, “He’s a bully. I dealt with older white guys trying to keep me down my whole life, my whole career.” What?!? Remember Carol Burnett? She is a funny redhead! And I don’t remember one single time that she had to do a stunt like this to be remembered.

Haak Vineyards & Winery celebrates their Sunday Concert Series with Rat Ranch Bank on June 11^th. www.haakwine.com.

No Name Festival is June 9^th and 10^th in Brazoria…dominoes tournament, pool tournament, Miss Brazoria pageant, BBQ cook-off, youth hamburger cook-off, parade, washer tournament, crafts, food vendors and a carnival all sponsored by Brazoria Chamber of Commerce.

The Canada Centre for Child Protection want teens to send images of naked mole rats instead of sexting. They are hoping to protect teens and inspire laughs. Have you seen a naked mole rat recently? Look it up. It WILL make you laugh.

Mattress Mack announced that Gallery Furniture will refund customers who spend $3000 or more on beds, if the Astros win this year’s World Series. Astros lost one game this week after an 11-game winning streak.

And always remember, life is way too short to continue writing with a pen that you don’t like.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 06-01-17

An investigator from the Sheriff’s department, knocked on the front door of a home located at the dead-end of a gravel road in the rural foothills of North Carolina. The guy that answered the door said, “I guess you are here for the opium.”  Well, the investigator was NOT there for the opium but was more than a little interested at that point. The planted field contained about $500-million worth of opium-producing poppy plants. Oops.

A Florida man found a rattlesnake. The next day his neighbor was playing with the snake, acting silly and said that he was going to kiss it. Well, guess what…the snake bit him on the face…the man was taken to the hospital in critical condition…it is believed that the snake escaped. How stupid is stupid.

The new, much larger Buc-ee’s opened in Brazoria with their gigantic inflatable beaver sitting out front with his big toothy grin. Life is good.

Tiger Woods was found in his car in the early morning hours and after they woke him, he was arrested for driving under the influence but released a statement saying that alcohol was not involved and that he had an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications. The police agreed. Both drivers’ side tires on his Mercedes were flat along with minor damage to the vehicle. Poor guy just can’t seem to shake it.

General Manuel Antonio Noriega, the former military leader of Panama, has died at age 83.

Dina Merrill died recently at the age of 93.  The American actress, heiress, socialite, businesswoman and philanthropist was born Nedenia Marjorie Hutton and was raised in a lavish 118-room estate in Palm Beach.  Her mother was Marjorie Merriweather Post (Post cereal and one of the nation’s richest women) and her father was E.F. Hutton, founder of the stockbroker firm. Becoming an actress was not considered proper for someone of Merrill’s privileged status, but she changed her name (she didn’t want to trade on the Hutton name) and the rest is history.

The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus ended its 146-year reign because of declining attendance and high operating costs. What happened to Bello and how did he get his actual hair to stand up that high?

A Texas junior high school teacher has been disciplined after handing out special mock end-of-the-year awards to an honors class…awards like “Most Likely to become a Terrorist” – “Most Likely to Cry for Every Little Thing” – “Most Likely to Become Homeless” and last, but not least, “Most Likely to Blend in With White People”. Obviously, this plan was not well thought out and perhaps more than just a touch insensitive. It would be interesting to hear the teachers train of thought.

The Brazoria County Beekeeper’s Association will host its second annual Honey Expo on July 22 at the Brazoria County Fairgrounds. Admission is FREE. Sweet. Mark your calendars. Plant some flowers.

God has blessed you richly, so get down on your knees and thank Him. Don’t forget the less fortunate or God will personally kick your ass. I’d love to do it for Him, but I can’t be everywhere. – Willie Nelson

Actor Roger Moore died in Switzerland, at age 89. He was the third James Bond and starred in seven films including The Spy Who Loved Me and Octopussy. That’s more than any other Bond actor. As a young adult I never understood the “shaken, not stirred,” business. I now understand and appreciate the oh, so small, ice chips in a martini.

Gregg Allman died at the age of 69 of liver cancer complications. He made some of the greatest music EVER.

The Global Seed Vault is carved into the side of a mountain midway between Norway and the North Pole and holds more than 500-million seeds from around the world that could be used to recreate food supplies in case of worldwide agricultural calamity, such as war, drought or floods. Recently unseasonably warm temperatures caused water to breach the entrance. The seeds were unharmed but remediation efforts include removing power transformers from the entrance of the tunnel, allowing fewer people into the tunnel and building waterproof walls inside the tunnel entrance. The Norwegian government owns the vault which is made of angular concrete. I had always heard of The Vault but had never seen pictures or known It to be real. It is real.

A $20-million project to widen a Galveston beach by about 150-ft., between 10^th and 61^st streets has been finished. Sand was dredged from the Galveston Ship Channel. It was the largest beach nourishment project ever accomplished in Texas.

In New Delhi, a group of rhesus macaque monkeys each weighing around 12-17 pounds, will climb the wall of an apartment building, snap off a water pipe and drink the spraying water. They jump onto balconies, parade into kitchens, open refrigerators and help themselves. If a home is raided by the animals, it is left in shambles. They bite around 1,000 people a day, and can create up to $300-million in crop losses each year, so officials are searching for ways to use birth control on the animals especially since they were recently declared vermin. India has monkeys, Texas has wild hogs.

After 70-years of service, Prince Philip, 95, the husband of Queen Elizabeth, will be stepping down from his royal duties.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Rhythm/Blues singer Ron Isley is 76. The Isley Brothers. Actor Judge Reinhold is 60. He was Detective Billy Rosewood in the Beverly Hills Cop series. Actress Joan Collins is 84. Comedian Tommy Chong is 79. Singer Bob Dylan is 76. Singer Patti LaBelle is 73. Singer Rosanne Cash is 62. Actor/comedian/game show host Drew Carey is 59. Singer Jewel is 43. Game-show contestant Ken Jennings is 43. Sportscaster Brent Musberger is 78. Singer Stevie Nicks is 69. Actress Pam Grier is 68. Actor Philip Michael Thomas is 68. Country singer Hank Williams Jr. is 68. Actress Genie Francis is 55. Luke and Laura. Singer-actor Lenny Kravitz is 53. Actress Helena Bonham Carter is 51. Actress Lee Meriwether is 82. Catwoman in Batman and Ruth Martin in All My Children. Actor Louis Gossett Jr. is 81.

Actor Mr. T is 65. If you ask him about his real name, he will tell you, “My first name is ‘Mr‘, my middle name is ‘period‘, last name is ‘T’. He once worked as a bouncer and a bodyguard to Steve McQueen, Muhammad Ali and Diana Ross.

A 10-year-old boy was briefly hospitalized after sliding off a waterslide with an 80-foot-drop during opening day of a new California waterpark.

According to Texas Beach Watch, there are high levels of fecal (that’s poop) bacteria in the water at beaches in Corpus Christi and Galveston. Texas Beach Watch will be testing the waters until the levels have gone down. Maybe they are already down.

Bill Cosby: The jury has been chosen. Really. Does it matter what color the jurors are? Right is right and wrong is wrong. Let the proceedings begin.

Nancy shared this on Facebook so it must be true…six really, good reasons for drinking more beer. 1. Beer increases bone density.  2. Beer lowers the risk of heart attack. 3. Beer lowers your cholesterol level. 4. Beer decreases your risk of getting diabetes. 5. Beer can prevent kidney stones. 6. Beer protects from dementia.  You can’t argue with science.

A well-known South African big game hunter was leading a group of hunters on a 10-day, licensed hunt when they happened upon a herd of breeding elephants in Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe – the same park where Cecil the Lion was killed in 2015. Three elephants charged…one of the other hunters shot one charging elephant which then collapsed and fell on top and crushed the leader of the group. The leader was a husband and father of five children and was close friends with another hunter that was eaten by a crocodile last month. Hmmm.

I’m getting ready to plant okra, cucumbers, and eggplant in the garden now. New dill is coming up everywhere from the fallen seeds. I just dug up a few purple potatoes.  I planted yellow, red, purple and green bell peppers, but, so far, all my plants are producing green peppers only…someone is laughing hard about switching those tags over at Home Depot. Don’t forget crop rotation. Mother Earth News has a great video on this, in case you are unfamiliar or a new gardener. It explains rotation very simply. The zinnias have been gorgeous this year. When is the last time you saw a grasshopper?  I saw one in the garden today along with butterflies, wasps and bees on the dill flowers.

The “Juice,” aka OJ Simpson, may soon be a free man as the former football star will get a July parole hearing which is likely to lead to his release from prison. So, where is everyone else? Robert Kardashian, his friend and defense attorney during his ’95 murder trial, died in 2003. He was the guy that started all this “Kardashian” thing that we have going on now.  Judge Lance Ito retired in 2015.  He is now 66 years old. Famous witness, Kato Kaelin, performed the national anthem at a rodeo in 2016. He is 58 years old. Attorney, Johnny Cochran died from a brain tumor in 2005. Dream Team attorney Robert Shapiro has a net worth of $100-million and is 74-years-old. Marcia Clark is an author and television correspondent at age 63. Christopher Darden, at age 61, is an author, actor, lecturer and practicing attorney.  Detective Mark Fuhrman was fired from the LAPD in 1995. He has written true crime books and hosted talk radio and is a collector of war memorabilia, medals and is age 65. F. Lee Baily is 83 and his cross-examination of Fuhrman is considered to be the key to Simpson’s acquittal. He also attracted attention for keeping a silver flask on the defense table which claimed to contain only coffee. In 2014, he was denied a license by the Maine State Bar Association and the Main Supreme Judicial Court. His net worth is $5-million. I love the internet. The white Bronco belongs to a collector and the glove is not talking.

Why did Miley Cyrus go through her twerking phase and display her tongue? She says it’s because she spent every day from age 11 to 18 with either her dad or her grandma and she had to “break free.” Huh? And just how do you spell maturity…

A University of Houston math professor was forced to add etiquette guidelines to his website. Why? The professors say it is because clear communication instructions will help students in their academic and professional careers –in other words, what you say to your friends is not what you should say to your college professors, adults, and future employers. There is massive amount of informality during student correspondence along with essays having slang, text speak (cuz, plz, LOL, BTW and others) and some instructors said that students are even calling them by their first names.  PLZ.

Comments, suggestions, or complaints. You can email me at lisa@thesourceweekly.com. Please use pretty words and remember that I may not answer you immediately or at all.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 05-25-17

PLEASE REMEMBER WHY we have Memorial Day. It is not only to get 50% off your online purchases or to buy 3 tires and get one FREE. Memorial Day is a day to reflect on those military service members who have served and died. Thank you.

Poor little Anthony Weiner, former Democratic Congressman. His wife filed for divorce after his recent guilty plea as he admitted to sharing sexually explicit pictures (sexting) and messages that encouraged a 15-year-old girl to engage in sexually explicit conduct. This time he’ll have to register as a sex offender and could go to prison.

Apple became the first US company with a market value of more than $800-billion.  Investors seem to be betting on the new iPhone coming out this year.

85-year-old country singer Loretta Lynn has started rehabilitation and is expected to make a full recovery after suffering a stroke at her home in Hurricane Mills, Tennessee.

Buc-ee’s is building what may be the longest carwash in the world. The 255-foot cleaning tunnel is part of a 56,000-square-foot store with 120 gas pumps that will be finished in Katy this fall.

There is tiny Henderson Island, 6-miles long and 3-miles wide, halfway between New Zealand and Chile, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, some 3,000 miles from anywhere and is reached after a 13-day voyage by ship from New Zealand. Researchers were astonished to find an estimated, 38-million pieces (or 17.6 tons) of floating, mostly PLASTIC trash, that had washed up on the beach, noting that it is the highest density of trash ever reported in nature. Sad. There was a crab with what looked like a face cream jar that it was hauling around on its back instead of a shell.

Chelsea Elizabeth Manning (formally Private Bradley Manning) was freed 28 years early because President Obama commuted the bulk of her remaining sentence of violations of the Espionage Act and other offenses (leaking government secrets to the public.)

A judge has confirmed that the one sibling and five half-siblings of Prince, are his rightful heirs. They will share what is estimated to be around $200-million since Prince died without a will. Around 45 people have come forward claiming to be his wife, children, siblings or other relatives including a prison inmate. All were ruled out by DNA testing. Since his death, Princes’ Paisley Park studio complex and home has been turned into a museum and concert venue. There’s no grass growing under their feet.

Senate Bill 2118 needs full House approval and Governor Abbott’s signature to become law, allowing more Texas community colleges to offer bachelor’s degrees in applied technology, applied science and nursing.

Three young Mississippi men were arrested and will be charged with capital murder after stealing a car with a 6-year-old in it, then shooting the child. His mother had left the child in the car with the engine running while she ran into the store. Sigh. Parents, pay attention.

In New Orleans, the last of the four Confederate monuments – a statue of Robert E. Lee – has been removed from its concrete pedestal.

Neglect no opportunity to play leap-frog. It is the best of all games and will never become professionalized. – P.G. Wodehouse, humorist

According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, of the 222 prescription drugs that were approved by the US Food and Drug Administration from 2001 through 2010, almost 1/3 of them ended up with warnings about unexpected, sometimes life-threatening side effects or complications. Do your research.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Boxing Hall of Fame Sugar Ray Leonard is 61.  Actress Anna Maria Alverghetti is 81. She won the Tony Award for Best Actress in 1962 for Carnival. Former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is 80. Actress-singer Lainie Kazan is 75. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Football Hall of Fame Emmitt Smith is 48. Dallas Cowboys. Baseball Hall of Fame Brooks Robinson is 80. Country singer George Strait is 65.  Rock singer Bono is 57. U2. Olympic gold-medal swimmer Missy Franklin is 22.  Singer Leo Sayer is 69. I just listened to, “The Show Must Go On” and “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing,” and a song that Leo Sayer wrote for Roger Daltrey’s first solo album called “Giving It All Away.” A musical blast from the past. I remember listening to him on an 8-track tape deck. I’m old.

Singer-actress Cher is 71. Singer Celine Dion is 49. Did you see the two of them on the Billboard Music Awards last week? Celine Dion sang, “My Heart Will Go On,” and did she ever sing!  Drake was obviously impressed because he said that he is thinking about tattooing her image on his rib cage. That was on the same evening that Drake surpassed Adele’s record for the most wins in a single night. Cher shut the house down with her hits “Believe” and “If I could Turn Back Time.”  She’s got no reason to rewind the clock because her vintage black motorcycle jacket, lace bodysuit, knee-high boots and huge curly wig, looked (and sounded) like it WAS 1989.

American guitarist Dick Dale is 80. He is known as The King of the Surf Guitar. Dick Dale and His Del-Tones. If you ever get to feeling sorry for yourself, read his story.  Singer Pia Zadora is 65. Country singer Randy Travis is 58. Actress Mary McDonough is 56. She was Erin on The Walton’s.  Actor Will Arnett is 47. Rock musician Bill Kreutzmann is 71. Grateful Dead. Hall of Fame Willie Mays is 86. Rock singer Bob Seger is 72. The Silver Bullet Band.  Rock musician Jane Wiedlin is 59. The Go-Go’s. TV personality Ted Allen is 52. Chopped.

Counterculture icon Wavy Gravy is 81. His name was given to him by BB King at the Texas International Pop Festival in 1969. He was the official clown of the Grateful Dead. Ben & Jerry’s had a Wavy Gravy Ice Cream – caramel & cashew brazil nut with a chocolate hazelnut fudge swirl & roasted almonds. It’s my job to keep you informed.

Ken Levin, 86, and his 23-year-old son, graduated together from The University of Houston this spring. I don’t know about you but I welled up just reading the article. I never had that kind of dad.

Nigeria – Three years ago, 276 schoolgirls were kidnapped by Boko Haram. Recently, 82 of the girls were released by their captors leaving only 113 girls that remain unaccounted for. Some of these girls were forced to marry their captors and give birth to children in remote forest hideouts.

My granddaddy was a barber in Waco, Texas. His barber shops were the place to hang out (talking, no texting) while waiting for haircuts. Buster shined your shoes and Granddaddy knew everything that was going on around town. This recent memory made me think about barber poles, one of which I have in my office.  Barber Pole (from the Latin, “beard”) and according to Wikipedia, “the origin of the red and white barber pole is associated with the service of blood-letting and was historically a representation of bloody bandages wrapped around a pole. During medieval times, barbers performed surgery on customers, as well as tooth extractions. Barber shops were also places of social interaction and public discussion.” Like coffee shops today, I guess.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 05-11-17

Researchers have developed an artificial womb that could one day be used for premature babies. Instead of the womb, the fetus would be put inside a clear plastic bag filled with synthetic amniotic fluid and the fetus’ umbilical cord would be hooked up to a machine that pumps oxygen. So far, it’s only been tested on fetal lambs, but with good results. Hmmm.

Nominations have been announced for the 2017 Tony Awards, honoring the best of the Broadway season. The favorites are: Come from Away (7 nominations), Groundhog Day (7 nominations), Miss Saigon (2 nominations), The Great Comet of 1812 (12 nominations), Bette Midler in Hello Dolly! (10 nominations), Dear Evan Hansen (9 nominations), A Doll’s House, Part 2 (8 nominations), OSLO (7 nominations), The Little Foxes (6 nominations), War Paint (4 nominations), Indecent (3 nominations) and Present Laughter (3 nominations). The 71^st annual Tony Awards will be June 11, 2017, live from the Beacon Theatre.

CHI St. Luke’s Health-Brazosport hosted it’s  4^th biennial Power of the Purse Luncheon a few weeks ago and Jennifer Arnold, MD, neonatologist at Texas Children’s Hospital and star of “The Little Couple,” was our guest speaker. Wow. She was powerful and positive…a great mom, wife and human being. Along with her husband, Bill Klein, they have endured every obstacle they have encountered with a can-do attitude. Their purpose in life: make the world a better place. I just started their book, “Life Is Short (no pun intended)” – Arnold did say at the luncheon that they love the name little people and dislike being called midgets.

Five children were injured last month at a carnival in SC after an inflatable bounce house and slide were thrown 20-feet into the air by a gust of wind. This weekend, an inflatable castle at a restaurant in Spain, was hurled 65-feet into the air before it crashed to the ground (some witnesses also said they heard a huge explosion right before the children were thrown out.) A 6-year old girl was killed and several others were seriously injured. Readers, when your kids see a bouncy house, they don’t look to see if it’s tied down with either long stakes in the ground or heavy, weighted blocks. That’s your job. And if it’s a windy day, just take them to do something else.

Taco Cabana and La Casona are both opening soon in Lake Jackson so it’s looking like dueling Mexican food is finally here. Yeah.

The wrens (a happily married couple) that so carefully built the most beautiful nest in my granny’s watering can that sets on my back porch, have now successfully raised three beautiful babies. I watched them build the nest, tend to the eggs, and feed the babies big fat worms for the past several weeks. It was my morning, coffee time, fun. I just happened to go home for lunch on the day that they were being taught to fly off the porch. I took a little longer than my allotment of lunch time to sit and watch and take pictures. In just a matter of an hour and half, they went from sitting on the table where their nest was, to climbing the brick wall, all while the parents were close by, chirping non-stop from over in the olive tree. Nature.

Local TV anchorman legend, Dave Ward, has said, “Good evening friends, I’m Dave Ward,” for the last time. He has retired from Channel 13 after 50-years. Ward was their first on-the-street reporter, has interviewed five presidents and is now in the Guinness World Records for the longest-running anchorman in television history. Congratulations, sir. You are grace under fire and a true gentleman.

The Houston Symphony announced it will perform Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in concert on July 21-22.

An 18-year-old senior at Dawson High School has just been elected to Pearland ISD’s Board of Trustees. Mike Floyd says that he is someone who can better represent students’ and teachers’ interest because he has seen firsthand how district-level decisions affect local classrooms. Make sense to me!

Auditions for the summer musical, Mary Poppins, are this Sunday, Monday and Tuesday at The Center for the Arts and Sciences. Call 979-265-7661 for additional information.

A year after Michael Strahan left the Live! with Kelly and Michael Show to join The Good Morning Show, Kelly Ripa announced that Ryan Seacrest will join her on Live! with Kelly and Ryan. Seacrest is the ultimate host with 15-seasons of American Idol, New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and his radio show, On Air with Ryan Seacrest, in addition to guest-hosting Live! Several times this past year during their search to find a new co-host.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Singer Engelbert Humperdinck is 81. Fashion designer Donatella Versace is 62. Wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson is 45. The Rock. Soccer player David Beckham is 42. Singer Frankie Valli is 83. He is coming to the Smart Financial Centre on May 11th…oops, that’s tonight at 8pm in Sugarland. He puts on a really, good show. Sports announcer Greg Gumbel is 71. Actor Bobby Cannavale is 47. Officer Vince D’Angelo in Will & Grace. Actress Christina Hendricks is 42. Best known as the beautiful, red-headed Joan Holloway in the AMC drama television series Mad Men, for which she was nominated for six Emmy Awards. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld is 63. Actress Michelle Pfeiffer is 59. Actress and painter Eve Plumb is 59. Jan on The Brady Bunch. Actress Uma Thurman is 47. Tennis Hall of Fame Andre Agassi is 47. Actor Albert Finney is 81. Actress Candice Bergen is 71. Singer Billy Joel is 68. He is the sixth best-selling recording artist and the third best-selling solo artist in the US.

ESPN told about 100 employees to go home recently. The layoffs of mostly on-air talent and longtime writers comes as more and more people are canceling their cable company. Gee, I wonder why.

A 10-year old girl swimming in a foot of water at Mary Jane Lake in Florida, was bitten by a nine-foot alligator. She punched the alligator in the nose but it didn’t release her leg, so she took two fingers and jammed them up the gator’s nostrils – since he couldn’t breathe, he released her. Smart kid. She was paying attention when they taught her that at Gatorland, recently.

There’s a couple of new dinosaurs in town. Saunter on over to the Brazosport Museum of Natural Science and see the new Bambiraptor and Agujaceratops. Located at The Center for the Arts and Sciences..

It seems that some kids are beginning to complain about the amount of time parents spend on their phones…I see it every time I go out to eat, at school functions, the grocery store, shopping…our devices are needed to keep us informed and connected but there are times that we need to say no. If you don’t draw the line on your phone use, then what are you saying to your children and grandchildren. Let’s set some good examples…No phones in the kitchen, breakfast or dining area. My go-to question was always, “Who did you sit next to at lunch today?”  No phones in kid’s bedrooms after bedtime – charge their phones in your room overnight. That goes for parents too. Put the phones away at night. AND put the phones away when you are in the car. Store them in the glove compartment since we don’t really wear gloves often in Brazoria and Matagorda county. Start good habits.

Entrepreneur Tom Cridland will sell you a sweatshirt that has a 30-year guarantee on it. His idea is that fashion is the second-most polluting industry in the world so if you make clothing to last using the best cloth and limit the company to clothing basics that won’t go out of style, then it’s a win-win instead of FAST fashion where clothing is mass produced, made cheaply and not intended to last more than a year. It’s not for sale in stores so for the 30 Year Collection go to www.tomcridland.com.

Dorothy Mengering, the mother of former Late Show host David letterman, who often made guest appearances on his show, died at the age of 95.  She was fun!

MOM (noun*adjective*verb) One who does whatever it takes to get whatever it is done. Period.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!!

“Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted – a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.”  ­- Harold Kushner, Rabbi/Writer

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 05-04-17

The last male White Northern Rhino is now on Tinder so they can find him a match…kinda…actually, they are trying to raise $9-million dollars for a fertility treatment. Natural attempts are not working.  Sudan is 43 years old, not getting any younger and there are only 2 female Northern White Rhinos available for romantic encounters. So, what’s a guy to do? They are going to broadcast in 190 countries and in 14 languages. His Tinder Profile Bio says: “I’m one of a kind. No seriously. I’m the last male white rhino on planet earth. I don’t mean to be too forward but the fate of my species literally depends on me. I perform well under pressure. I like to eat grass and chill in the mud. No problems. 6ft. tall and 5,000 lbs. if it matters.” Swipe right on his profile to donate.

You know how it smells outside after a rainstorm? That lovely smell of rain. There’s a word for that. Petrichor (pet-ri-kuhr) is the earthy scent when rain falls on dry soil. Or to be more precise, it’s the name of oils that are released from the earth into the air before and after rain begins to fall.

Some of the outfits at the recent Met Gala were, well, outrageous. Kendall Jenner was almost naked. Rihanna looked like a caterpillar. There was the dining table runner dress and the trench coat dress with a massive train. One actress had shaved her head for a movie so she just painted on her hair in silver. Jaden Smith carried his recently shaved dreadlocks as an accessory. There was the half kimono and half evening gown. Solange wore a puffy jacket dress and carried ice skates as her shoes. Madonna had a really, ugly camo dress, a canteen purse and it looked like she had installed a cross or something between her front teeth. It could have been spinach. Katy Perry had a bride’s dress in solid red including the red veil covering her face. There was another red dress but this dress had no arm holes. She looked sewed in. There was more but I will stop here.

Dale Earnardt Jr., third-generation and NASCARS’s most popular driver, has announced that he will retire at the end of the season after suffering several head injuries over the past several years.

Don’t forget CenterFest this weekend at The Center for the Art and Sciences. Art. Music. Tacos.

Clute City Council voted unanimously in favor of an ordinance banning people from reading, writing or sending a text while operating a motor vehicle. Violators will be cited for a Class C misdemeanor. (From the Texas Penal Code: Sec. 12.03(c) Conviction of a Class C misdemeanor does not impose any legal disability or disadvantage and is punishable by fine only (not to exceed $500.00). A Class C misdemeanor is a very minor offense, it is the same weight as a traffic ticket, which is also a class C misdemeanor.) It’s a start…

Inspirational speaker, author and kidnap survivor Elizabeth Smart, 29, welcomed her second child. I was fortunate to see her last year when she came here as a speaker at Brazosport College. Smart was so gracious, soft-spoken, kind and just plain sweet, to have been through so much as a child.

Peggy Whitson is the US astronaut who will soon be the subject of many classrooms everywhere. Whitson just broke the record for cumulative time in space by an American astronaut.

Jonathan Demme, the Oscar winning-director of Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia, died at the age of 73. I remember painting my kitchen while I was listening to Silence of the Lambs book-on-tape and I was scared to death. In my own house. With the doors locked.

United Airlines is introducing some new policy changes including compensation for giving up a seat that can be as much as $10,000. Sign me up, slap me and throw me out the door to wait for the next plane.

Thank you to the honest person that found my debit card still stuck in the debit machine at the bank and dropped it into the night deposit. I have grounded myself, I won’t get any allowance this week and I will be chewed out royally by my son when he reads this…please use this message as a reminder not to insert your new debit card and then leave it in the ATM machine.😊

New Musical: War Paint is the story of Helena Rubinstein and Elizabeth Arden – fierce business rivals who defined 20^th Century beauty with their cosmetics. Together they shattered glass ceilings as women in industry and in creating that industry, they reinvented themselves and revolutionized how the world saw women.

Coca-Cola is cutting 1,200 jobs because, yep, you got it…sales have gone flat.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor Lee Majors is 78. Actress Joyce DeWitt is 68. She was Janet Wood on the sitcom Three’s Company. Filmmaker-author Michael Moore is 63. Actress Valerie Bertinelli is 57. Actor-comedian-talk-show host George Lopez is 56. First Lady Melania Trump is 47. Actor Channing Tatum is 37. Former Secretary of State James A. Baker III is 87. I would have voted for him for President. Actress-singer Ann-Margaret is 76. Former Tonight Show host Jay Leno is 67. Actor Tim Curry is 71. Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Actress Ashley Judd is 49. Actress Kate Hudson is 38. Rock singer Kate Pierson is 69. B-52’s. Pop singer Sheena Easton is 58. Actor Jack Nicholson is 80. Author Janet Evanovich is 74. She has over two hundred million books in print worldwide and is translated into over 40 languages. Singer Peter Frampton is 67. Actress Cloris Leachman is 91. Singer Judy Collins is 78. Singer Rita Coolidge is 72. Singer Tim McGraw is 50. Singer Willie Nelson is 84. He performed at the Stagecoach Festival in Indio, California, on his birthday.

Singer Glen Campbell turned 81. In 2011, he set out on a tour across America that he thought would last for 5-weeks, instead they played 151 sold out shows over a year and half. What made this so special was that Glen had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He was told to hang up his guitar and prepare for the inevitable. Instead, Glen and his wife went public with his diagnosis and announced that he and his family would set out on a Goodbye Tour. An amazing documentary called “I’ll Be Me” by filmmaker James Keach, following Campbell on the farewell tour of concerts that Campbell played with his children. Even as the disease was advancing, love, laughter and music was their medicine of choice.

Actress-comedian-author and “wonderful at everything that makes us laugh,” Carol Burnett, is 84-years-old. Even on a bad day, her videos with Harvey Korman, Lyle Waggner (he was the first centerfold in Playgirl magazine in 1973), Vicki Lawrence and Tim Conway are a hoot…look up Tim Conway’s Elephant Story.

Couples getting married around Portland or Vancouver, can now rent llamas or alpacas dressed in formal attire, top hats and bridal veils, floral garland and even jeweled cuffs around their ankles. Starting at $200 and $300 for two animals, prices depending on how far away the party is… Smokey, Rojo, Diego and Jean-Pierre can provide a unique interactive experience. I saw the pictures. Remember Boo. They look like him. Sweet.

A group of buyers led by Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush reportedly won the auction to purchase the Miami Marlins. The sale price was listed as $1.3 billion with Bush being the controlling owner. The estimated value of the team is $940 million.

Mother’s Day is coming. Don’t say that I didn’t remind you.

The Houston Symphony announced it will perform Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in concert on July 21-22.

Entrepreneur Tom Cridland will sell you a sweatshirt that has a 30-year guarantee on it. His idea is that fashion is the second-most polluting industry in the world so if you make clothing to last using the best cloth and limit the company to clothing basics that won’t go out of style, then it’s a win-win instead of FAST fashion where clothing is mass produced, made cheaply and not intended to last more than a year. It’s not for sale in stores so for the 30 Year Collection go to www.tomcridland.com.

ESPN told about 100 employees to go home recently. The layoffs came as more and more people are canceling their cable company and affected mostly their on-air talent and longtime writers.

Researchers have developed an artificial womb that could one day be used for premature babies. Instead of a womb, the fetus would be put inside a clear plastic bag filled with synthetic amniotic fluid.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 04-27-17

There are still quite a few American Airlines employees thinking that their new uniforms are toxic but after testing the fabric, no one seems to be able to figure out what the problem is. This comes at the same time a video began circulating which shows a mother crying while holding her baby after an American Airlines flight attendant grabbed her double-wide stroller to place in the overhead bin – allegedly hitting the mother and narrowly missing the baby. A smart attorney would be blaming the nasty actions of that flight attendant on itchy uniforms because in our society, no one accepts responsibility for their bad behavior. It must be the fault of someone or something else. Just saying.

Erin Moran, the former child star who played Joanie Cunningham in the sitcoms “Happy Days” and “Joanie Loves Chachi,” died at 56. She had been diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in December.

Harvard University researchers have discovered a second parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence in a records office in southern England. The only other parchment copy is maintained by the National Archives in Washington in which the signers are distinguished by the states.

Have you played with Legos lately? Anine Kirsten loved building blocks but was frustrated that you could only stack them on flat surfaces so she has now invented Nimuno Loops which allows users to turn any surface into a base for playing with the blocks. Just imagine Lego tape.

South African soccer player Mohammed Anas was named “man of the match” and then started his post-match interview by thanking his wife and his girlfriend. Oops. He quickly realized his mistake, and corrected himself by saying all sorts of nice things (groveling) to his wife…he then later announced that he calls his daughter his girlfriend. Shut-up.

Over the years, a story has circulated about the band, Pink Floyd. It was said that a concert in 1971 was played so loud that they killed fish in a nearby pond. Actually, they had dumped dry ice and underwater explosive flares in the pond (which was likely the cause of death for the fish but this story is so much better.) Now, a newly discovered species of shrimp that closes its bright pink claw at a such a rapid speed that it creates an imploding bubble that is so loud it can kill or stun a fish, has been named the Pink Floyd by the three researchers that discovered the creature. They say it was named for the pink claw but I still like the dead fish story.

The IRS Data Retrieval Tool (DRT), used to transfer data from tax forms to the FAFSA, has been shut down by the IRS because of security concerns. It will not be available again until the next FAFSA season begins in October. The IRS says that the personal data of as many as 100,000 taxpayers could be compromised through a scheme where hackers posed as students applying for financial aid.

Ex-NFL player, Aaron Hernandez, 27, hanged himself in prison. Hernandez was the rising star tight end of the New England Patriots when he got into a lot of trouble and was charged with murdering three people.  Police are investigating.

Linda Evans was the guest speaker for The Women’s Lecture Luncheon Series at Brazosport College, recently. She spoke to us on aging gracefully, living your best life and life lessons. I got there early because I am a door greeter so I saw her get out of the car…she looked stunning in a black pantsuit and THE HAIR…we were all ready to go blond and cut our hair short when she announced to us all that it was a wig. She was funny and clever and full of great stories.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI is 90.  He was Pope of the Catholic Church from 2005 to 2013. Singer Bobby Vinton is 82. Sigh. Basketball Hall-of-fame Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is 70. Can you believe that? Actress Ellen Barkin is 63. Singer Jimmy Osmond is 54. Child actress Elle Fanning is 19. Pharrell Williams is 44. Actor Charles Grodin is 82. Broadway legend and actress Patti LuPone is 68. Country singer Tim McGraw is 50. Yum. Actress Penelope Cruz is 43. Movie director Richard Donner is 87. The Omen, The Goonies, Lethal Weapon series and Superman starring Christopher Reeve. Actor George Takei is 80. Hikaru Sulu from Star Trek. Actor-Author Crispin Glover is 53. George McFly in Back to the Future.

Musician Iggy Pop is 70. Yikes. He continues to reinvent himself, now collaborating on a project with a jazz trio. Happy Birthday Mr. Pop.

Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II is 91. She celebrates her real birthday privately but will celebrate officially on the second Saturday in June as it corresponds with the Trooping the Colour ceremony and parade and most of all because she can…she’s the birthday princess and who’s going to tell her no? My friend, Margaret, celebrates her birthday all month long.

Actress Shirley MacLaine is 83. Actress-singer-director Barbara Streisand is 75. Singer Kelly Clarkson is 35. Actor Ryan O’Neal is 76. Ow…that’s so hard to believe. Actress Jessica Lange is 68. Actress Carmen Electra is 45. Reggae singer Stephen Marley is 45. He is the son of the late Bob Marley who had 13 other children. Busy guy. Actress Kate Hudson is 38.    

Actor Michael O’Keefe is 62. He played Danny Noonan, the caddy in Caddyshack, who would do almost anything to raise money to go to college. He was also married to Bonnie Raitt in the 90’s.

I found this on Facebook and I tried to find a person or thing to give credit to, but I found nothing. It’s too cute not to share so here it is:

So, you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. You open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son…”IT’S TREASURE TO MEEEEEE” the dragon bellows.

Saturday was Earth Day. We are moving in the right direction by focusing on a special day just to share and acknowledge our environmental issues, but we can’t fix all the problems with a few people that celebrate only one day a year. We have created some really, nasty problems. If you’re not one of the folks that are committed to making this world a better place, then today is a great day to start. There are several easy things to do. Turn off lights. Bring your own bags to the grocery store or shopping. I just got back from Los Angeles and every store clerk asks you if you want a bag. It takes a while to remember to take your own bags in with you but if you keep them in your car, it becomes easier. Recycle the black garden pots from your new spring plants. Compost. Since I started composting, I can’t stand to throw away a banana peel or an egg shell. The worms are happier for it. Don’t flush every time. Remember that the earth is everyone’s issue. Let’s celebrate Earth Day, every day.

Tennis great, Serena Williams, 35, is pregnant and due to give birth this fall.

Andre Johnson signed a one-day contract to become a Texan again so he could officially retire as a Texan. They say that this was how it was supposed to end but I never understood why he left in the first place.

Bill O’Reilly is leaving Fox News Channel amid sexual harassment allegations and the program that he hosted for 20 years will now be called “The Factor.”

Electronics retailer RadioShack has filed for bankruptcy for the second time in just over two years and says it will be closing about 200 stores and evaluating options on the remaining 1,300 stores. Radio Shack has always been the place that you thought about last when you couldn’t find what you needed anywhere else, but they almost always had what you needed…why didn’t we ever think of them first?

The last orca to be born in captivity at SeaWorld park in San Antonio is doing well but doesn’t have a name yet because it has yet to be determined whether it is a little girl or a little boy orca.

The Brazosport Symphony Orchestra is planning a very special evening of wine, food, chocolate and songs about love on May 6^th. All the money raised from this event at The Center for the Arts and Sciences will go towards new entry doors that will be easy for handicapped, the elderly (and for me…those doors are heavy.) The reception will be fabulous. Did I mention that there will be chocolate? A great date night idea.  www.BrazosportCenter.org or 979-265-7661 for more information. Remember that it’s a fundraiser for a great cause. Oh, and don’t forget that CenterFest Art and Music Festival is that same week-end. Art. Music. Tacos.

Attitude is everything. There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So, she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmm,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair in the middle today.” So, she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well,” she said, “today I’m going to wear my hair in a ponytail.” So, she did and she had a fun, fun day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “Yes!” she exclaimed, “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Demeter Fragrance Library has a new perfume called Kitten Fur, meant to remind you of that spot just behind a kitten’s neck. It must smell good but I’m allergic to cats. Now, if they cared to ask me, I would suggest the smell of a new born baby.

Baylor University chose its first female president as the school continues to face a federal investigation connected to how it handled sexual assault allegations on campus.

What we SEE depends mainly on what we LOOK FOR – John Lubbock

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 04-20-17

A&M football player, Kirk Merritt, has admitted to exposing his genitals during two of his tutorials. His attorney said that he was just suffering from a bad case of jock itch. Sorry, but where I come from, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and scratch in private.  Don’t you think that if a regular student had done this, he or she would be OUT, but this is a football player and they are known to have different status levels than regular people. So wrong.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS:  Jazz musician Herbie Hancock is 77. Actor Ed O’Neill is 71. Talk-show host David Letterman is 70. Singer David Cassidy is 67. Actor Andy Garcia is 61.The Godfather III. Country singer Vince Gill is 60. Actress Shannen Doherty is 46. 90210. Film producer, director, sculptor and television actor Tony Dow is 72. Wally Cleaver in Leave it to Beaver. Singer Al Green is 71. “Let’s Stay Together.” Actor Ron Perlman is 67. Chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov is 54. Actor Ricky Schroder is 47. The Champ and Silver Spoons.

Actress Hayley Mills is 71. Actress Melissa Joan Hart is 41. Columnist Heloise is 66. Actress-screenwriter Emma Thompson is 58. Country singer Chris Stapleton is 39. Actress Emma Watson is 27. Singer Loretta Lynn is 85. Retired MLB All-Star Pete Rose is 76. Actor Anthony Michael Hall is 49. Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is 40. Actress Jennifer Garner is 45.

Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you are ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up. Audrey Hepburn

An 11-year-old Michigan boy saw social media posts indicating that his 13-year-old girlfriend had committed suicide and apparently believed them, deciding he would end his life too. THEY WERE PRANK POSTINGS BUT moments later, his mother found him hanging by the neck in his room. The young man had replied over social media that he was going to kill himself and no one involved in the prank told an adult. The juvenile involved has been charged with malicious use of telecommunication services and using a computer to commit a crime. Aaauuggh. That’s horrible.

Donnie Johnson, a 30-year-old choreographer, has dreamed of becoming NFL’s first male cheerleader. Along with around 400 other contestants, he gave it everything he had at the recent Texans’ try-outs. He made the first cut and went further than anyone expected. But it ended there. He is going to try again this summer when the Rockets Power Dancers hold their tryouts.

Pay close attention to the people that don’t clap when you win…

April is Lawn and Garden month. In my garden,  I now have 3-kinds of tomatoes, onions, dill, 7 different peppers, 3-kinds of red potatoes, and a bunch of little things…dinosaur kale, cabbages, Swiss chard…I just pulled up about 10 short, stubby red and orange carrots. Gardening is great except in the heat of the summer. Come by The Source Weekly office and pick up your free package of vegetable or flower seeds. We want to help you grow something…anything.

The Tomato Hornworm entered my garden area and wiped out about a third of my tomato plants while I was on Easter break with my kids. I picked them all off…25 of them. I did read that tilling the soil helps destroy overwintering larvae…keeping wasps around (considered beneficial insects) because they act as biological control and attach their eggs to the hornworm’s back (little white dots that look like rice.) You can leave the hornworm on the plant because the carrier hornworm will do little damage now as they help carry out the life cycle of the wasp…and to plant dill, basil and marigolds because they help keep the pests away. I planted marigolds but obviously it didn’t help.

The boot and the wheelbarrow are out. The T-rex dinosaur is one of Monopoly’s three new game tokens along with a rubber duck and a penguin. The online voting drew more than 4.3 million voters from 146 countries. The cat was swapped in for the iron after a similar fan vote in 2013. The new tokens will be available in games on sale this fall.

According to the 2017 World Happiness Report, Norway is the happiest country in the world. Norway ranked high due to a number of the traits that the citizens possess, such as caring, freedom, honesty and generosity.

In July of 2015, a man tied more than 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair which floated about 2.5 miles over Calgary, Canada, right into the path of a commercial aircraft. The man pleaded guilty and was fined $26,500 according to TIME magazine.

Always keep a bottle of wine in the refrigerator for special occasions. Say, like Wednesdays.

Jude Law will play the young Albus Dumbledore in the, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” sequel. Eddie Redmayne will be back to star alongside Johnny Depp, who will play the villain Grindelwald. The sequel begins production this summer and plans to be a late 2018 theatre release.

A 71-year-old construction worker from Lubbock is the winner of the largest lottery jackpot ticket ever sold in Arkansas…$177-million. His lump sum payment will be $72-million. He will use part of the money to level and rebuild his home church.

FINALLY! April, the pregnant internet sensation finally gave birth to her baby boy giraffe in New York, ending months of speculation and excitement.  But MOVE OVER, April. While we were waiting for you, The Houston Zoo welcomed a beautiful newborn Masai giraffe to their herd. Her name is Zindzhi, pronounced “zeenzee” which means “warrior.”

Emma Morano, age 117, has died at her home in northern Italy. She was the world’s oldest person and also believed to have been the last surviving person born in the 1800’s. Although her doctor warned against it, she also ate three eggs a day. A woman born in Jamaica on March 10, 1900 is now believed to be the oldest known person in the world. WOW.

Twistee Treat, a Florida-based ice cream chain, plans to add eight more Houston locations this year. What makes this chain unique are the ice cream cone-shaped buildings. Very 50’s.

The Utah woman that was identified as the pajama-wearing robber has been arrested. Police stated that she did very little to hide her appearance during the robberies and bank cameras always showed her in pajama bottoms.

J.C. Penney has delayed the closing of 138 stores by several weeks to take advantage of better than expected sales.

Two van Gogh paintings stolen from The Van Gogh Museum in 2002 have been put back on display without their original frames after Italian police discovered the artworks behind a false wall in a fugitive’s villa.

Did you know that postage has increased and it now cost $17.35 per box for the Military Moms and Wives of Brazoria County to send care packages to our brave men and women in all branches of the armed forces that are deployed to combat zones? These boxes help support the moral and spiritual health of our American Heroes. Help them if you can by donating postage or supplies or even some box stuffing manpower. www.militarymomsandwives.org.

Hope you had a lovely Easter.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 04-13-17

What do households on the $74-billion food stamp program called SNAP, buy at the grocery store? The Chronicle reported findings now show that the number one purchase by SNAP households are soft drinks. My opinion…food stamps should NOT be used to buy junk food or sugary drinks. Sugar leads to obesity and diabetes. That leads to health care. Food stamps should be used for food.

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food – Hippocrates

Former Baptist deacon and Alabama Governor Robert Bentley has now resigned over a sex scandal. Last year he pulled a Clinton and assured everyone that he didn’t have sex with his married female advisor. She resigned. New investigations show that he used his position to intimidate state employees to be quiet about what they knew…and he reportedly misused campaign funds, and more. So, now he says he is guilty of two misdemeanor charges and will step down in exchange for having felony charges dropped. Yawn.

Ford Motor and GM have both been building cars forever. Tesla is the new kid on the block and is now the most valuable US car company on the stock market. That was quick.

United overbooked a flight leaving from Chicago which is not unusual for any airline. Volunteers were recruited to give up their seats in exchange for vouchers. No one wanted to volunteer so United randomly picked individuals to stay behind. One chosen gentleman said he was a doctor and had to get home to see patients and refused to get off. A United security officer literally drug him off the plane, the passenger was hurt in the process AND it was videoed by other passengers. Read the fine print. They are saying that airlines can bump you off a plane if they are overbooked. Hmmm. The United CEO has apologized and promised internal review.

Some day we old folks will use cursive writing as a secret code.

This may not make you laugh, but it may make you smile. April the giraffe is still pregnant in NY. Once the baby arrives, you can enter a naming contest at www.AnimalAdventurePark.com.  So, while everyone has been patiently waiting on April, a surprise happened at the Denver Zoo. Kipele gave birth to an unexpected baby boy giraffe named Dobby that weighed just 73-pounds. What makes this pretty special is that zoo officials and keepers didn’t know that Kipele was pregnant. At age 23, she was considered too old to reproduce and was on birth control. The father, Dikembe, just winked when asked how this could have happened.

Every year TIME magazine selects the 25 Best Inventions of the Year. Most of these inventions are just plain fun like the electric toothbrush that is described as being something you would find in an Apple store. It’s called Quip, it comes in plastic or metal (the metal is pretty sexy for a toothbrush) and it has a two-minute timer that vibrates every 30-seconds to remind users to switch brushing positions. And you can sign up for the company to send you a new toothbrush head every three months. It’s cute.

 Spanish golfer, Sergio Garcia won the Masters tournament and is now the owner of a brand new green jacket. He was being interviewed on The Today Show and they asked if he would be wearing that jacket in his upcoming wedding and it sounded like it might just be a possibility. And why NOT? He seems like such a humble guy.

Don Rickles died at the age of 90.  He spent decades doing standup comedy and late-night talk shows. Did you know that he was the voice of Mr. Potato Head from Toy Story?

John Warren Geils Jr., the founder and lead guitarist for the J. Geils Band, died at his Massachusetts home at age 71.

Uber is getting sued. Supposedly they were using software that showed the longer more expensive route to the riders and shorter cheaper routes to their drivers, resulting in riders that pay more and drivers that make less. That’s not very nice.

Wells Fargo is one of the largest banks in the US. Last year it came out that they had spent years opening fake accounts and credit cards without customers’ permission. This was to meet high sales goals that were set by the bank. The company was fined and now two executives have been told that they must give back millions of dollars in compensation.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor Billy Dee Williams is 80. The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Director Frances Ford Coppola is 78. The Godfather, Francis Ford Coppola Wine…try the Claret Black Label. Singer John Oates is 69. Football Hall-of–Fame Tony Dorsett is 63. He is suffering from CTE, Chronic Traumatic Ecephalopathy, believed to be the result of his football head injuries. Dame Jane Goodall is 83. Considered to be the world’s foremost expert on chimpanzees.

Actress Marsha Mason is 75. The Good-Bye Girl. Singer Wayne Newton is 75. Red Roses for a Blue Lady. Singer Tony Orlando is 73. Actor Alec Baldwin is 59. Actor David Hyde Pierce is 58. Dr. Niles Crane. Comedian Eddie Murphy is 56. Former House Republican Tom Delay is 70. Actress Robin Wright is 51. Princess Bride and Forrest Gump. Actress Patricia Arquette is 49. Ethel Kennedy is 89.

Pulitzer prize-winning columnist Ellen Goodman celebrated her 76^th birthday. She has a great quote. “Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.”

Actress-singer Doris Day is 95. Until just recently, she believed that she was 2 years younger.

Save the date for Brazosport College Foundation, Stars over Texas Soiree…great food, music and dancing to the sounds of Duck Soup. The proceeds of the Scholarship Soiree benefit the Brazosport College Foundation scholarships. September 8^th, 2017 @7pm.

China is now dealing with the worst bird flu outbreak in years. More than 160 people have died and hundreds of others have been infected. Bird flu is a type of virus (H7N9) found in birds. Scientists are worried that this could be a global pandemic similar to the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918 that killed somewhere between 30-50 million people across the globe. Healthcare has improved since that time, but so has transportation, making it easier for viruses to cross borders and continents.

Be sure to read Much Ado about Nothing by Jean Ciampi on page 4. It’s what we all think but few are able to put into words and actually describe the relationship with our cellphone companies…I’m hoping that she will write about home telephone, internet and cable companies next. I’m going to ask.

I never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people – Doris Day

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 04-06-17

A 52-year-old Colorado man pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to 25 years in prison for the 1995 death of his wife. Almost 22-years ago, he had found a gravesite that was scheduled for a burial, dug 2-feet below and buried his wife’s body. Then later in the same day a World War II veteran was unknowingly buried over her remains. He admitted to this or they would never have found her. Pretty clever if you ask me, but is 25 years enough?

Spider biologists have generally found that spiders consume approximately 10 percent of their body weight in food per day. That’s equivalent to a 200-pound man eating 20 pounds of meat each day. In the end, it actually works out to mankind’s benefit since the spiders feed primarily on bugs, garden pests and mosquitos. The Source Weekly has reached out to all the spiders living here in our office but they have not returned our calls. Killum Pest Control did return our call. They will be out soon.

Several thousand marijuana plants were found at two different locations in Planters Point SD near Holiday Lakes. The two operations were said to generate millions in sales annually. I saw the pictures of the plants…wish my tomato plants looked that good.

Thanks, Jacquelyne P. for such kind words about this column AND thank you for reading The Source Weekly. We love our readers.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor Warren Beatty is 80. That’s hard to believe.  Rock musician Eric Clapton is 72. Dang. That’s hard to believe too. Rap artist MC Hammer is 54. TV personality Piers Morgan is 52. Country singer Reba McEntire is 62. Rapper Salt Connor is 51. Salt-N-Pepa. Singer Emmylou Harris is 70. Comedian Eric Idle is 74. Pro and College Hall of Fame Earl Campbell is 62. Model Elle Macpherson is 54. Actress Lucy Lawless is 49. Actress Ali MacGraw is 78. Love Story. I loved that movie.

THOUGHTS: Today, a 10-year-old is happy when given the latest iPhone. When I was that age, it was an off-white transistor radio with dials and a retractable antenna in a blue plastic case. I would listen to it when I was supposed to be asleep. I would listen to it when I was supposed to be doing anything. Batteries didn’t last very long.  I found a radio almost like it on eBay for a beginning price of $7.50. Bet it didn’t cost that much new.

Arkansas has signed into law a measure that would impose fines and prison time for doctors that perform abortions that are based solely on the wishes of the parents to pick the gender of their child. That’s crazy. Would people really do that?

Two former aids to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie were sentenced to prison for the famous Bridgegate, where the George Washington Bridge in NJ was shut down for days, supposedly to get back at a NJ mayor for not supporting Christie’s re-election run. Christie’s team said it was for a traffic study. Christie continues to look the other direction.

The prominent 48-year-old Montrose veterinarian that was recently arrested and accused of trying to arrange the killing of her ex-husband, jumped to her death from the seventh-floor patio of her River Oaks condominium where she lived. She left letters and a recorded message.

There’s a new coffee. It’s called Black Insomnia and it has 300% more caffeine than most regular morning coffee and is reported to now be the world’s strongest coffee. One-pound bag $18.99. The company reported that the caffeine levels were actually cut back in order to…get this…keep consumers alive. Consume at your own risk.

Daughter of President Trump, Ivanka Trump, is to become an official unpaid White House employee.

• There’s a new kid on Sesame Street…she’s a red-headed muppet with autism named Julia. Julia’s puppeteer, Stacey Gordon, is familiar with autism because of her 13-year-old son. She says, “I imagine my son going through tough moments and give that to the character.”  According to Autism Speaks, autism now affects 1 in 68 children and 1 in 42 boys. Boys are nearly five times more likely than girls to have autism. There is no medical detection or cure for autism and it is now one of the fastest-growing developmental disorders in the US.
  

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The Community Foundation of Brazoria County honored three women at its annual Philanthropist of the Year dinner…Doris Williams and Josie LaChance of Lake Jackson and Susie Wilcox of Pearland. Congratulations ladies and thank you for all of your volunteer efforts. We appreciate all that you do!

Volunteer! Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Volunteers are just ordinary people with extraordinary hearts. They offer the gift of their time to teach, to listen, to help, to inspire, to build, to grow, and to learn. They expect no pay, yet the value of their work knows no limit…They’ve known the unexpected joy of a simple hug. They’ve planted tiny seeds of love in countless lives. Volunteers are just ordinary people who reach out, take a hand and together make a difference that lasts a lifetime. Researchers say that volunteering can release a rush of endorphins that make people feel great…and can actually slow the aging process. If you need some ideas on where to volunteer, call me.

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. –William Shakespeare

OK, last week I told you that The Navy was going to name a SHOP after and honoring Gabrielle Giffords…well, the “o” and the “i” are right next to each other on my keyboard…it should have said SHIP…the Navy is going to honor her with a SHIP named after her. Spell-check doesn’t catch things like that. Thank you, Mark, my #1, “after-the–fact” proofer.

PricewaterhouseCoopers accountants won’t be allowed to have their cellphones backstage during future Oscar telecasts. Hmmm. Maybe we should have more of those rules in our own lives.

Uvalde: Thirteen members of a choir group from First Baptist Church of New Braunfels were killed on the way home from a retreat when a truck came across the center lane and struck their bus head on. The driver of the truck that hit them admitted that he was distracted by texting. Several passing motorists had called officials prior to the accident and complained that there was a distracted motorist on the road.

We have a sign at our office front counter that says…”In the interest of accuracy and as a courtesy to you…We will provide service to you as soon as your cellphone call is completed. Thank You.”  We just can’t take ads with correct phone numbers, addresses and information when you are having two conversations…one with your mother-in-law talking about where to buy new tires.  Cellphones are wonderful and a huge problem.

The Alvin Music Festival and Cook-off is April 7^th and 8^th at Briscoe Park. Cole Degges and the Bellany Brothers are just a couple of music treats to be playing the festival. Bring your lawn chairs and blankets.

Have you seen all the new trees that have been planted on FM 2004?  BIG beautiful trees that are going to look great immediately. This all happened because of a grant from Keep Texas Beautiful and Texas Department of Transportation for Lake Jackson and Richwood. It’s sure going to be pretty.

– Lisa

By Lisa Baker • 01-26-17

We have a new President who continues to Tweet. Or is that Twit. The new First Lady looked stunning in a pale blue dress and jacket by Ralph Lauren with shoes and gloves to match.  Let’s pray that good things happen to and for our country.

Several times a week, a woman and her two sons cross the border from Juarez into El Paso to purchase Krispy Kreme donuts. They buy around 40 boxes of assorted donuts at $5 each, then takes them back to Mexico where they sell them for a profit at $8 dozen. Have you ever had Kristy Kreme donuts? If you have NOT, then you would never, ever understand.

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS: Actor James Earl Jones is 86. Singer-songwriter Neil Diamond is 76.  Comedian Yakov Smirnoff is 66. Actress Nastassja Kinski is 58. Olympic gold-medal gymnast Mary Lou Retton is 49. Talk-show host Maury Povich is 78. Actor-comedian Steve Harvey is 60. Actor Jim Carrey is 55. Rapper Kid Rock is 46. Pro Football Hall of Famer Randy White is 64. Actor Chad Lowe is 49. Rapper Pitbull is 36. Singer-songwriter Bobby Goldsboro is 76. Remember the song “Honey.” That was in 1968. He played guitar with Roy Orbison before he was a star in his own right.  Actor-director Kevin Costner is 62.  Author Mary Higgins Clark is 89. I loved her books. Designer Kate Spade is 54.

Singer-songwriter Ray Stevens is 78. Remember Everything Is Beautiful, Misty, Gitarzan and The Streak. Actor Jason Segel is 37. He co-wrote and starred in The Muppet Movie. Actor John Hurt is 77. Actress Linda Blair is 58. Yikes. I’m scared just thinking about her head spinning around in The Exorcist. Celebrity chef Guy Fieri is 49. Actress Chita Rivera is 84. Princess Caroline of Monaco is 60.

President Obama commuted the prison sentence of Chelsea Manning (he was Bradley Manning before gender-reassignment while in prison,) allowing the Army intelligence officer who leaked more than 700,000 classified government and military documents to WikiLeaks along with battlefield video, to go free nearly three decades early . The actions are permanent and cannot be undone by President Trump.

Joke…a girl sends a text… “What does IDK stand for? Reply: “I don’t know.”  Response: “OMG, nobody knows.”  I’m still laughing.

Colo, the world’s first gorilla born in a zoo, died in her sleep less than a month after her 60th birthday at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Colo was the oldest known living gorilla in the U.S. The median life expectancy for female gorillas in human care is 37.5 years.

A New York man who was charged with driving while intoxicated allegedly bought nearly 1,000 copies of his local newspaper in an attempt to keep people he knew from finding out.

Monopoly is letting you vote for new board game tokens. Classics like the hat, shoe or Scottie dog could be traded in for a cell phone, hashtag or emoji. Hurry. www.VoteMonopoly.com. Voting ends in just a few days.

105-year-old Robert Marchand of France cycled 14 miles in one hour, setting a world record for his age group. Did you catch that…he’s 105.

Crews have begun to pump sand that was dredged from the Galveston Ship Channel into the beach in front of the seawall in Galveston. It will take approximately four-months to finish the project.

The doctor says to the patient…”What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?” Hmmm. I should go for a walk now.

Some thoughts from 2016:  Hamilton…Pokémon Go…Scary Clowns…Olympics…David Bowie… Leonard Cohen…George Michael…Debbie Reynolds…Carrie Fisher…Super Bowl… Muhammad Ali…mass shootings… Patty Duke… Prince… zika virus… Chris Christie… Kardashians… Russian Interference… Angelina and Brad…El Chapo…Flint Water…Chipotle…North Korea… big hands… Oregon Standoff…Antonin Scalia…Deflated Balls…Ben Carson…bomb threats… which bathroom…Queen’s birthday…gorilla Harambe…Kentucky Derby…skydiver Luke Aikins… Ryan Lochte… National Anthem…Galaxy Note 7’s Batteries…Samsung  washers…new iPhone 7… Game of Thrones…Michael Phelps…Katie Ledecky…Simone Biles…Star Wars…Finding Dory…“Can’t Stop the Feeling”…Billy Bush…WikiLeaks…Anthony Weiner…Affordable Care Act…  Bob Dylan…Nobel Prize…Chicago Cubs…Trump twitters…Fidel Castro…Alec Baldwin…Black Lives Matter…Electoral College…Glenn Frey…penis transplant…Harper Lee…George Kennedy… Presidential Election…Merle Haggard…Guy Clark…Gene Wilder…Arnold Palmer…Leon Russell…  Florence Henderson…John Glenn…Alan Thicke…Zsa Zsa Gabor…Bretix.

Chevrolet unveiled its LEGO Batmobile recently at the Detroit/North American International Auto Show. It was inspired by Batman’s vehicle in the soon-to-hit-theatres The LEGO Batman Movie. It is 17-ft long, almost 1,700-pounds, took 344,187 LEGO bricks and 1,833 hours to build.

Several months ago, my daughter announced that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson was coming to Houston. He is an Astrophysicist that happens to be a rock star in the world of science. Well, when your kids ask for candy, electronics or new clothes, you have to stop and ask some questions…but when they ask you to take them to go see someone talk about science, you just have to jump right in and get the tickets. We saw Dr. Tyson at SPA last week and he spoke for two solid hours on the subject of outer space. It was definitely the most interesting two hours “ever.”

“I dream of a world where the truth is what shapes people’s politics, rather than politics shaping what people think is true.” Neil deGrasse Tyson

An avalanche that appears to have been triggered by a series of earthquakes in central Italy, buried a ski town hotel.

Will and Grace are coming back to NBC. Will and Grace are best friends. Will is a gay lawyer and Grace is a straight interior designer and they live in New York, together. The first episode aired in 1998. Last show was about ten years ago.

Because of The Super Bowl, people are renting out their entire houses, condos or apartments in Houston. Well, guess what? State hotel occupancy taxes are due when you rent sleeping accommodations for $15 or more per day. The state hotel occupancy tax rate is 6%. Some people that they interviewed on TV were asking $5000 a week for their homes. Hmmm. At 6% that’s a bunch of money.

More snow storms in the north and California, tons of rain in the west and California, tornadoes sweep the south …at Disneyland, heavy rains poured and a flash flood warning was issued as the very few guests hid under the monorail…strange weather.

Lake Jackson/Freeport native, Kristi Hoss Schiller of K9s4COPs, has donated a 3-year-old Labrador retriever named Bucee (after Buc-ee’s) to the Brazoria County Sheriff’s Office. Thank you, Kristi.

Almost three years after Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared with 239 people onboard, officials say that they have called off the underwater search for the plane.

February 4^th is World Cancer Day. I take this opportunity to say “Kick Butt” to all my friends that are fighting cancer right now.

Groundhog Day is coming up on February 2. What does that mean this year? He must be so confused.

I saw a report on TV about cardboard tents for camping festivals. Their selling point was having a tent available when you are flying to a location and can’t haul all your camping gear with you…they will mail the tent to your camping location. The cardboard tent promises to withstand the roughest weather, even three days of rain and can then be recycled. They will even print text or photos on the side of the tent to make it more personal. I liked the fact that it stays dark inside long after sunrise.

You’ve heard of the English that mount their horses, blow the horn, release the fox, and follow with their dogs in hot pursuit. (I don’t think that they really do that anymore but it’s the only example I could think of.) Well, now during drone hunting, everyone hops on their dirt bike, they release the drone and the party begins. So, what happens if you bag the drone…taxidermy or crockpot?  I couldn’t find a good recipe.

According to news reports this morning, it looks like the Norovirus is making its way to our area. It’s nasty, very contagious, acts quickly and is difficult to prevent. Schools are being forced to close. Vomiting and diarrhea can come as quickly as 12-48 hours after exposure. It is carried in the air and is hard to wash away…a quick application of hand sanitizer won’t get rid of it. You must vigorously wash your hands and nails with soap and hot water for at least 30 seconds. There was more information but it’s too gross to repeat. Just take my word for it. Wash your hands.

When police in Western Australia stopped a speeding pickup truck, the driver claimed to be exceeding the legal limit because “the wind was pushing me.”  Was he just blowing in the wind?

Two employees were spending the night at a Houston gun shop because of so many previous break-ins. Shortly after midnight, one employee saw two cars pull up in the front parking lot. The employees grabbed weapons, headed for the parking lot, and returned fire, but were only able to detain two of the individuals while they called to report a burglary in progress. Shortly, two people dropped off a man at a Houston Medical Center with non-life-threatening gunshot wounds and then drove away. Now, it sounds like the potential robbers initiated the gunfire yet two of the three that were interviewed have been released because no robbery had occurred. Sigh.

David Sanborn played a great concert at The Clarion. He’s the American saxophonist that blends jazz with pop and R&B. He contracted polio at the age of three and was introduced to the saxophone as part of his therapy. By the age of 14, he was playing with legends. After studying music, he played woodstock with the Butterfield Blue Band.

Celebrate everything until further notice. Lisa Baker