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What I Heard This Week! 07-01-2021

What I Heard This Week July 1, 2021


At the El Paso Zoo, a woman climbed into a spider monkey enclosure and tried to feed two primates named Libby and Sunday. How sweet. Sadly, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos was not part of their recommended dietary intake. It is all on video. Zoo officials said the stunt put both the monkeys, and the woman at risk. I think I saw it described quite eloquently as stupid and lucky. She was immediately terminated from her job at a law firm, then quickly hired by another attorney who said that it was wrong to punish her for something that occurred while she was not at work. Hmmm. So, was he saying we should be teaching our children is that bad behavior does not matter if you are not at work?!? I have a better plan. When I was an 11-12-year-old kid, I had a Squirrel monkey named Chongo. He loved bananas, but you could never give him more than a quarter size slice (which he peeled just like it was a whole banana), or he would poop all over the house. He was cute as could be, but we learned quickly not to do anything that upset his tummy. I guess the El Paso zookeepers could just load up Libby, Sunday, and some of their closest pals, tell them it was a fieldtrip, then take them straight to her house and let them loose in her bedroom, along with a giant bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Yep. Problem is not enough consequences in our world.


All I ask is that everybody act like they have some sense. Dr. Phil


Speaking of which… A 10-year-old student set a fire that led to the evacuation of an elementary School in Texas. The student later confessed to bringing matches to school and setting the toilet paper dispenser on fire. Hmmm. My momma would have set my rear-end on fire if I had done anything closely related to this. There were consequences at my house while growing up.


Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, pressured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices. Richard Bach


A man visiting Palm Springs was lounging by the pool in 119 degrees, one of the hottest days of the year. Paramedics said his body temperature was 105 and they were unable to cool his body before he died. Portland reached 116 degrees with Seattle at 108 degrees, a place where only half the people have air conditioning. Washington State, 118 degrees. There were 52 wildfires in the west as of Tuesday. Boston hit 104 and New York City, 103. Asphalt and concrete roads are buckling. In Canada, British Columbia it reached 117, the hottest temperature ever measured anywhere in Canada. Stay inside. Drink plenty of water before you think you are thirsty. As temperatures soar to record highs, a global warming expert has warned that the heat dome is an indication of our future and “we’re going to have to get used to this going forward.” Perhaps, instead of us saying, “This is the hottest summer of our lives,” we may want to tweak it a little. “This might actually be the coolest summer of the rest of our lives.”  Truth hurts.


Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” Doug Larson


A South African woman reported weeks ago that she gave birth to 10 babies, posting several pictures of herself looking massively pregnant. As it turns out, she was not pregnant and is now receiving psychological support. Rudy Giuliani has been suspended from practicing law in New York, due to his “false and misleading statements” about Donald Trump’s 2020 election loss. Brazil just passed 500,000 Covid deaths and there is no end in sight. E-cigarette maker Juul agreed to pay N. Carolina $40 million to settle allegation it marketed vaping products to young people.


RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Actor-comedian-prisoner Bill Cosby is 83. Actor Patrick Stewart is 80. Singer-guitarist Roger McGuinn of The Byrds is 78. Actor Harrison Ford is 78. Actor-comedian Cheech Marin is 74. Country singer Louise Mandrell is 66. Actress Lucie Arnaz is 69. Football player-turned-actor Rosey Grier is 88. Singer Linda Ronstadt is 74. Actor Donald Sutherland is 85. Guitarist Spencer Davis of the Spencer Davis Group is 81. Actor David Hasselhoff is 68. Actor James Brolin is 80. Bluegrass singer Ricky Skaggs is 66. Singer Christine McVie of Fleetwood Mac is 77. Fitness guru Richard Simmons is 72. Actress Cheryl Ladd of Charlie’s Angels is 69.


This information deserved its own paragraph. If this does not scare you…well, it should. It was reported that atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) levels this year, were expected to climb to beyond 2019 levels, despite falling during the pandemic. Well, CO2 levels already reached 419 parts per million (PPM) in May, the highest level in human history. Researchers from Scripps Institution of Oceanography and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) have tracked atmospheric CO2 for more than 60 years. But using other data, researchers were able to estimate that CO2 levels have not been this high on Earth in more than 4 million years. The simple explanation is that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases act like a heat-trapping blanket or a cap, capturing heat that the Earth might have otherwise pushed out into space. Plants, oceans, and soil are natural carbon sinks…they remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and store it underground, underwater, or in roots and tree trunks. Without human activity the past few hundred years, huge amounts of carbon in coal, oil, and natural gas deposits would have remained stored underground, but humans have added more and more carbon to our atmosphere, and the carbon sinks just cannot work fast enough to clean up our mess. We do not have thousands of years for nature to absorb the massive amounts of CO2. If we continue as we are going, people will die from the impact of climate change, and our beautiful planet will become something that we will not recognize. We are limited on Earth in resources, sustainability, TIME, and existence. When we use it up, there will be nothing left for our grandchildren. Enough said.


After a highly anticipated wait, Ford announced that they were revealing the new Bronco on July 9th. Oops. Upon further reflection, it was determined that day is also Orenthal James Simpson’s 73rd birthday, aka O.J. Simpson. Do you remember Simpson’s halfhearted escape attempt after police charged him with murder? June 17, 1994. Actually, when the first police car caught up to the white Bronco, it was doing just 35 mph, followed by 20 police cars and helicopters. When Simpson finally exited that white Ford Bronco (after a six-hour chase), he had a gun as well as fake mustache and goatee, along with adhesive, and $9,000 in cash, that hinted at a disguised getaway. Yet, he said he was not trying to run or evade the law. Hmmm. Today, the car is displayed at Alcatraz East Crime Museum in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Original gas, tires, and vehicle registration papers still exist, and only 20 more miles have been clocked on the odometer since the chase. Ford denies planning this marketing coincidence, but they did change the date of the launch to July 13th. I call it brilliant. Here is the best part. The Bronco that O.J. was driving did not even belong to him. His own white Bronco was still parked at home, along with blood spatters, smears, and key evidence, which was taken into custody by law enforcement, then destroyed after trial. The chase vehicle actually belonged to Simpson’s best friend, Al Cowlings. As Paul Harvey would say, and now you know the rest of the story. I love writing this column. Happy 4th of July to you and America. Stay cool.

LISA

  • What I Heard This Week 10-26-2023

    by on October 25, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • What I Heard This Week 11-30-2023

    by on November 29, 2023 - 0 Comments

    Former US astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, recently remarried for the fourth time, which also happened to be on the occasion of his 93rd birthday. This time it was to Dr. Anca Faur, his 63-year-old, long-time companion (who looks like she wants to be 27), has a PhD in chemical engineering, and is now the executive vice president of Aldrin’s company, Buzz Aldrin Ventures.  He was first married to Joan Ann Archer in 1954 until divorcing in 1974. The next year he married Beverly Van Zile; they divorced after three years. His third marriage was to Lois Driggs Cannon in 1988 on Valentine's Day, divorcing 23 years later. Looks like he hasn’t given up on ‘love’ quite yet. He has sued two of his children and his former business manager claiming they stole money from him and are slandering his legacy, and that they also undermined his "personal romantic relationships" by forbidding him from getting married. His children say he is also spending money at an alarming rate. Sounds like those children are out of luck. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is MRS. Aldrin. ☹ Notes: Aldrin is also a strong advocate for human exploration of Mars. In 2002, he escaped assault charges after punching a man who demanded he swear on a Bible that the Moon landing was not staged. Good for him. He also said, “Tang sucks. “

  • Much Ado About Nothing - Texan in Winter

    by on December 6, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The power went out at my house last night for four hours. While this may not seem like a major catastrophe as it was the middle of the night and […]

  • Much Ado About Nothing - “Human Bait”

    by on January 16, 2020 - 0 Comments

    My dad always told me to have a backup plan in case my current job doesn’t work out. I wasn’t sure what that’d be until I saw this ad: “HUMAN […]

  • What I Heard This Week! December 20, 2018

    by on December 20, 2018 - 0 Comments

    The AK-47 is a type of assault rifle originally manufactured in the Soviet Union in 1949. A 17-year-old Humble High School student accidently shot herself recently with an AK-47 that […]

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