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What I Heard This Week! October 11, 2018

What I Heard This Week October 11, 2018

After minor controversy, the Houston City Council voted to ban sex robot brothels. Yep, that’s a real thing, because after playing games on your phone all day long, it’s hard to have a relationship with a real person so you…never mind. The city council responded by banning people from ‘having sex with a device that resembles a human being at a sexually oriented business.’ Just think “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” in silicone. However, the company can still sell the robots for customers to use elsewhere. Sex robots can talk, blink, smile, talk about your life and you can pick up your very own for around $15,000 or less. If you’re tired of those girls ‘swiping left’ when they see you on Tinder, here’s an alternative. Technology. Hmmm.


In Phoenix recently, a man abandoned his rental car in a no-parking area which created an alert, which then caused a busy terminal to shut down for hours while a bomb squad was called in, the terminal was partially evacuated, checkpoints were closed, and more than 300 flights were delayed along with dozens of flights canceled. The lazy 29-year-old man received only a $52 parking violation and was ordered to pay $75 for the towing.  What?!? My car was towed while parked at a local ‘unnamed’ rent-a-car location while I was out of town at Thanksgiving IN ONE OF THEIR RENTAL CARS. Cost me $125 to get my car back.


Found on the internet:At last an explanation: Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.”  Whew. It’s not aging, it’s the silly doors. I don’t care if it’s true or not, I appreciate studies like this one.


I try, but sometimes I’m just not a very good friend. A few weeks ago, I told you about trying to burn my house down with a pot of garbanzo beans that I left on the stove for the afternoon. It wasn’t pretty. I mentioned that two of my friends did some “kind, friend things” to help me get the smell out of the house, so I took the opportunity to thank them in this column.  Well, I just happened to misspell BOTH their names…Debbie is Debby, and I knew that. Deborah is Debra and I KNEW THAT TOO.  So, I’m putting this out there – I can’t be trusted to even get my friends names correct anymore. This is how it starts. My house still smells like an ashtray.


Joke: My wife and I were dressed and ready to go to a party. Being responsible adults, we called an Uber so that we wouldn’t have to drive home after the party. We turned on a couple of lamps, covered our pet bird and put the cat out, then locked the back door. The Uber arrived, so we opened the front door to leave and as we walked out, the cat rushed back into the house. We couldn’t leave her in the house because in the past, she has tried to eat the parakeet, so, my wife went on out to the Uber, while I went back inside to find the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. While waiting in the car, my wife, not wanting the driver to know that the house would be empty for the evening, explained to the driver that I would be out quickly, “He’s just gone upstairs to say goodbye to his mother.”  A few minutes later, I climbed into the back seat of the Uber. “Sorry it took so long,’ I said as we drove away. ”That little sneak was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out, then she tried to take off, so I grabbed her sorry behind and wrapped her in that blue blanket of yours to keep her from scratching me, then hauled her downstairs and threw her out the back door again.” At this point, the Uber driver hit a parked car. (I thought it was funny.)


Recent Birthdays: Singer Frankie Avalon is 78. Actress Jada Pinkett Smith is 47. Singer Gloria Gaynor is 75. Walk on By.  Rock singer Chrissie Hynde is 67. The Pretenders. Actor Corbin Bernsen is 64. DJ Nina Blackwood is 66. She was the original MTV VJ. Rapper 2 Chainz is 41. Rapper Xzibit is 44. I love it when the rappers start turning 40.

Civil rights activist Reverend Jesse Jackson is 77. Basketball Hall of Fame Yao Ming is 38. When my 2 children answer me, yeah instead of yes, I always say ‘yeah (yao) is a basketball player and not an answer to my question.’ FYI, he is 7’6” and has a size 18 foot which would be 14” long.

Singer actress Jennifer Hudson is 37. Singer Gwen Stefani is 49. Comedian Chevy Chase is 75. Actress Sigourney Weaver is 69. Actor Matt Damon is 48. Singer Bruno Mars is 33. Rock n’ roll star Chubby Checker is 77. The ‘twist.’ Singer Lindsey Buckingham is 69. Best known for Fleetwood Mac before they fired him this year because he wanted a break from touring. Wait, he wrote some of their biggest hits.


The Planet of the Apes was released in 1968 which makes it 50 years old. “The film tells the story of an astronaut crew who crash-land on a strange planet in the distant future. Although the planet appears desolate at first, the surviving crew members stumble upon a society in which apes have evolved into creatures with human-like intelligence and speech. The apes have assumed the role of the dominant species and humans are mute creatures wearing animal skins.” I loved it. It was a commercial success and many sequels followed along with a TV series, a remake and a reboot series. Horseshoe Bend on the Colorado River, near Page, Arizona, was a part of the Forbidden Zone in the movie, through which Taylor, Zira, and Cornelius fled Ape City. It’s all coming back to me now. The kids and I visited Horseshoe Bend this summer on our way to Grand Canyon and found it to be an absolutely, stunningly beautiful part of our world and well worth a trip. Geez. I can sure get side-tracked.


McDonald’s is saying that most of the burgers they serve in the US (Big Mac and Quarter-Pounder) are now preservative-free to appeal to those of us that care what we put in our bodies. The Egg McMuffin and Filet-o-Fish still have artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives. For now.


“Doctor Sleep,” the movie sequel to Stephen King’s horror classic “The Shining” has begun filming on the Georgia coast. Ewan McGregor will star as the adult Danny Torrance, as a child with psychic powers in the first film. Jack Nicholson was his father and Shelly Duvall played the mother. I always think of the picture of Jack Nicholson looking through the hole in the door with that wicked smile on his face.


The handsome monarch butterflies are heading to their winter home in central Mexico. I saw the first caterpillars in my garden about a month ago, right before all the rain started. The interesting part is that migratory monarchs born in late summer are the great-great-grandchildren of adults that arrived on breeding grounds in the spring. They navigate back to Mexico along an ancestral route they have never traveled, but somehow just know the way. They begin their return journey towards breeding grounds between February and March, but few will complete the trip. They will instead breed, lay eggs on milkweed, die and leave their young to continue the journey. If monarchs fail to reach a sustainable population within the next 20 years, there is a possibility they will no longer grace Texas landscape and sky. Reason? Because of the decline of the monarch’s life-giving milkweed. Eliminate pesticides and plant milkweed in your yard. Please. If you need seeds, come by my office.


Free Astronomy Day and the BASF Planetarium at The Center for the Arts and Sciences on October 27. It is so much fun.


Maria Atkins has re-opened her Forever Treasures store after closing for a few weeks because of water damage from a silly water heater. Go shopping today and don’t forget to support our small businesses. They are the backbone of our community. 217 Parking way in Downtown LJ.


As we go to print, Hurricane Michael, a potentially catastrophic monstrous storm with winds of 155mph, is battering the Florida Panhandle with northern states bracing for the impact. Hundreds of thousands were told to evacuate but many stayed, with storm surges of up to 14ft. expected. I have heard the words, ‘global warming’, with every weather report. Isn’t it time for everyone to start doing their part to see if we can turn this climate thing around for our grandchildren. I know what some of you are thinking…what if it’s a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing? Hmmm. We need to pray for the people of Florida.


Cannabis in Coke: According to an article I found online, Coca-Cola and Canadian cannabis company Aurora Cannabis Inc. are in ‘serious talks’ about a potential marijuana-infused product. Supposedly, the focus would be on a ‘health drink designed to ease cramps and other ailments’ rather than giving consumers a buzz, or so they said.  Thinking back, I remembered hearing that Coke once contained cocaine. Ahhh. I love Google. “Coca-Cola (Coke) had cocaine in it, in varying amounts, from 1886 – 1929. At the time cocaine was legal and treated as a medicine. Coca-Cola didn’t invent using the coca plant in drinkable products (coca wine was also popular), it’s just the one product with its history and name firmly rooted in it. Today Coca-Cola uses caffeine rather than cocaine.” Hmmm.


Where does the name Coca-Cola come from? Coca-Cola refers to two original ingredients found in Coke 1. kola nuts (a source of caffeine), and 2. coca leaves. I guess Cocaine Cola didn’t have the same appeal.


Do you ever wonder how many days it is until Christmas? Not me. I’m so ‘on-tops of things’ that I just turned my income tax info over to the accountant. But, if you happen to be organized and already have your Halloween decorations displayed then perhaps you will be interested. Go to www.xmasclock.com and see the countdown clock. (ps. as of print day, it’s 74 days ‘til Christmas.) Yikes.


“Everything, Everything.” I think I enjoy the teen books because I still have a teen and it helps me see inside her head sometimes. So, the story is, a 17-year-old girl has a rare disease that causes her to stay indoors under the protection of her hermetically sealed environment.  Think ‘bubble’ girl. Her whole life is books, her mom and her nurse. One day a moving truck pulls in next door, a boy moves in and they fall in love through emails. They persevere to be a normal couple with a huge happy twist at the end. Worth a read. There was also a movie released in May, but I haven’t seen it.


Brian Casey is the new Brazosport Symphony director after a 31-year career in music at Brazoswood High School.  Talk about some exciting news. Saturday, Oct. 13th, will mark his first symphony concert called, ‘Bizet, Boots and Buckaroos’ and will feature the art of LJ native Mike Marshall. 979-265-7731.


Monsanto Company is an American agrochemical and agricultural biotechnology corporation and is a leading producer of genetically engineered (GE) seed and of the herbicide glyphosate, which is marketed under the Roundup brand. They have asked a judge to throw out a jury’s $289-million award to a former school groundskeeper who said the company’s Roundup weed killer left him dying of cancer. Lawsuits involving Roundup claim the company has failed to warn users of the increased risk of developing non-Hodgkin lymphoma and other forms of cancer.


Patience is a virtue. It’s just not one of MY virtues. Lol, thanks for reading this.

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