J.J. Watt originally planned to raise $200,000 to help the rebuilding process after Harvey last year. The Houston Texan star (and clearly the ‘star’ in all our hearts) now says he has distributed the $41.6 MILLION that his foundation raised. I have goosebumps up and down my arms while typing this. The funds have already been used to clean up more than 600 homes, distribute more than 26 million meals and provide health care for more than 6,500 people. He’s done his homework and found legitimate organizations that helped carry out his plans for rebuilding. Modern Day Saint.
In memory of 9-11: “A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shattered steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we’re the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.” President George W. Bush
Did you know that there is a ‘Texas’ Pledge of Allegiance? It is as follows: “Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.” It has come to my attention that you can sign a form at the beginning of the school year that allows your child to ‘sit it out’ for the US Pledge of Allegiance and the ‘Texas’ pledge? Hmmm.
Nothing great is ever achieved without enduring much. St. Catherine of Siena
There were so many people parking in front of my office last evening, then unloading their dogs and walking to the right down Parking Way, out of my view. Finally, someone I knew was getting out of their car, so I asked. Seems that The Wine Revue in beautiful downtown LJ was having ‘Pooches on the Porch.’ I may have to get a dog.
Billy Graham has 6-rules of living. The article was published in Reader’s Digest last month and if everyone would not only read the rules but also practice them, our world would be a perfect place. 1. Make it your goal to live at peace with others. 2. Avoid revenge. 3. Guard your tongue. 4. Never repay evil with evil. 5. Treat others as you’d want them to treat you. 6. Practice the power of forgiveness.
Thank you to Ninfa at First state Bank LJ for helping me get my new debit card. I’m sorry I lost the old one. In my own defense, I was left unsupervised for a short period of time.
A Salt Lake City unlicensed home daycare owner was arrested after breaking a baby’s legs when she slammed the 10-month old child on a bathroom floor because _______ (you can fill in the blank here because no matter, I can’t think of a just cause.) She admits slamming the child feet-first and said that she would rather be deported to Mexico than go to jail. Hmmm.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there were 2.29-million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis in 2017. That’s nearly a 10% increase. Health officials were especially concerned by the 67% jump in gonorrhea cases since 2013 because the bacterial infection has become resistant to all antibiotics except ceftriaxone. They expect that it’s only a matter of time before super-resistant strains will emerge in the US. In other words, if you are having unprotected sex, then you are stupid.
Contrary to what we have read in the past, and now according to a new ‘massive’ study, co-authored by 512 researchers from 243 institutions, the optimal amount of alcohol someone should consume is ‘none.’ Guess I won’t need the dog, after all. See above.
RECENT BIRTHDAYS: Jazz musician Branford Marsalis is 58. Actress Melissa McCarthy is 48. Actor Macaulay Culkin is 38. Country singer Brian Kelley is 33. Florida Georgia Line. Comedian actress Lily Tomlin is 79. Singer Barry Gibb is 72. Singer Gloria Estefan is 61. Actor G.W. Bailey is 74. Staff Sergeant Luther Rizzo in M*A*S*H. Actor Paul Reubens is 66. Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Actress Diana Scarwid is 63. Inside Moves. Mommie Dearest. Silkwood.
Talk-show host Craig Kilborn is 56. Actress Marlee Matlin is 53. Actor comedian Dave Chappelle is 45. Ahchoo in Mel Brooks‘ Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Actor Rupert Grint is 30. Harry Potter. Actor Steve Guttenberg is 60. 1984 Police Academy. Supposedly there is a new Police Academy film in the making.
Actress Mitzi Gaynor is 87. Singer Beyoncé Knowles is 37. Actor comedian Kyle Mooney is 34. SNL. Comedian actor Bob Newhart is 89. Actor William Devane is 79. Knots Landing. Actor Michael Keaton is 67. Batman. Actress Raquel Welch is 78. We all remember the image of her in that doe-skin bikini that became best-selling posters, then turned her into a sex symbol. She still looks better than fabulous.
According to Wiktionary: Wet Willy (plural wet willies) (slang) A prank whereby a spit-moistened finger is inserted into an unsuspecting person’s ear, often with a slight twisting motion. See below.
Let’s see if I can get this one right. It’s hard to see what I’m typing when I laugh this hard. A man in Florida was arrested after allegedly “giving his girlfriend a wet willy while he was belligerent.” The girlfriend had allegedly come home and found the man drunk on the living room floor. The man and his girlfriend then left and went to a friend’s house where “he continued to drink and was belligerent.” On the way home, he grabbed her arm and gave her a wet willy. He was arrested on a battery charge. He says he wasn’t drunk. So, you laughing yet? I bet you are at least smiling.
Sawdust is man glitter.
Coming to Smart Financial Centre: Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Willie Nelson & Family, Roy Orbison The Hologram Tour, Marina McBride, and Mannheim Steamroller. I just saw Tony Bennett there and you should have heard him sing ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ and ‘I left My Heart in San Francisco.’ Then he wooed us with ‘How Do You Keep the Music Playing?’ He still has what it takes.
Instead of a sign that says, Do Not Disturb, I need one that says Already Disturbed. Proceed with Caution.
“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children.”– President George W. Bush
A&M opened the season with their new $7.5 million-a-year coach, Jimbo Fisher after ditching Kevin Sumlin to bring Fisher from Florida State. For those bad at math, that’s $75-million over a 10-year period. Hmmm. What exactly does that say about the priorities of our universities. What exactly does that say about the priorities of our society? Sigh.
The Big Bang is a scientific theory about how the universe started, and then made the stars and galaxies as we see them today. The Big Bang Theory TV show will call it quits after their 12th season. It is promised that, “the series finale will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic close.”
Just in case you didn’t get a chance to watch, Leonard Botello IV, owner and pit master of Truth BBQ in Brenham, did a great job on the finale of ‘Chopped Grill Masters’ but failed to win the $50,000 grand prize. Dang. But, he is still No. 1 on our list and in the Top Ten of Texas Monthly’s “Top 50 Barbecue Joints in Texas.” It doesn’t get any better than that.
The Harris County man who put a 23-month-old toddler in scalding water and stomped on the child because he had a dirty diaper and cried, was sentenced to 26 years in prison. Not long enough. The water was so hot that the child has permanent scarring.
‘Deathtrap’ opens this weekend at the Center for the Arts and Sciences, Dow Arena Theatre. The story is a success of Broadway history, full of thrills and laughter. Friday is opening night and I’m making cookies. Be a part of it. Mature audiences, please. 979-265-7661. I can make suggestions on how to have a good time, but you need to pick up your phone or computer and get your own tickets. 😊
School officials saw a video of a middle school teacher that she had posted to her private Facebook account. The problem is that the teacher moonlights as a pole-dancer and has now been suspended ‘with’ pay pending the outcome of an investigation because the school district’s policy says, “employees are role models who are responsible for their public conduct even when they are not performing their job duties.” My question is which school official saw the video. Hmmm.
George Clooney tops the Forbes 2018 list of highest-paid actors with $239-million in pre-tax earnings. This also includes the upcoming sale of Casamigos Tequila, which Clooney co-founded plus earnings from endorsements and older movies. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson came in second with $124-million pretax. Forbes says Johnson has a huge social media following that helped him nearly double his 2017 earnings. Robert Downey Jr. was third with a measly $81-million, Chris Hemsworth with $64.5-million and Jackie Chan with an embarrassing $45.5-million.
I don’t have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.
As I sat at my computer yesterday working on this column, a hummingbird flew right into the big plate glass window at the front of my building. I rushed out and found it twitching and fighting for life. Back to the kitchen for a towel. As I opened the front door to pick it up, I questioned whether I planned mouth-to-mouth or a good hard rub like you do puppies the moment they are born. I just don’t know. Anyway, I stepped out and the tiny, beautiful creature came up struggling, but finally flying. She was a little unsteady like she had had one too many, then she found her mojo and disappeared over the top of my roof. It reminds me that it’s time to put out hummingbird feeders. I have one outside my kitchen window and three hummers were fighting for nectar even in the rain on Labor Day. My daughter and I were working on a project at the kitchen table and watched. Such a pleasure. Easy and inexpensive nectar solution is one-part sugar with four-parts boiling water, stirring until the sugar is entirely dissolved. There is no need for red food coloring. Let it cool to room temperature and store in a CLEAN, sealed container. Please make sure that there isn’t any trace of another food in the container because sugar water can be easily fermented by exposure to yeast and that’s not good for the bird’s tiny system. I picked up a new feeder at Walmart for $7.00 that looks like it’s dishwasher safe which doesn’t really matter because IT IS going in the dishwasher this evening when I change the water, even if it’s not dishwasher safe.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. You make it fun for me to keep reading and repeating. Lisa